GA - Teacher Accused Of Writing Love Letters To 12 Yr. Old Student

[sherri79]

i would like to understand them. if we understand them we may stop them before a child is hurt. if we understand them we can help the kids that are victims before some of them become predators. i think the best way to study them is in a controlled environment. until we can fix them why risk them on the street? jail till we have a cure imo. i am a mom and if a teacher came after my 12yr old little girl jail would be the least i wanted done to them.

 

[southcitymom]

i would like to understand them. if we understand them we may stop them before a child is hurt. if we understand them we can help the kids that are victims before some of them become predators. i think the best way to study them is in a controlled environment. until we can fix them why risk them on the street? jail till we have a cure imo. i am a mom and if a teacher came after my 12yr old little girl jail would be the least i wanted done to them.

My thoughts exactly. The vast majority of people who molest/abuse children were molested/abused as children.

 

[dingo]

I wish I had your compassion and understanding South......Ive become jaded and vengeful....theres just to many sad stories out there for me to be forgiving or understanding.

 

[sherri79]

My thoughts exactly. The vast majority of people who molest/abuse children were molested/abused as children.

lol i am not sure i would have bolded the same part. for every child that is abused and will become a predator my heart breaks. once they are a predator lock them up and throw away the key. SCM is right that we need to understand them. we need more funding to help these kids before they become monsters. i tend to look at it like a terminal cancer. some kids have a greater risk of getting it later in life. i would love to find away to save these kids before it becomes terminal. once it is terminal sorry we cant help you but maybe we can find out what caused you to get it.

 

[southcitymom]

lol i am not sure i would have bolded the same part. for every child that is abused and will become a predator my heart breaks. once they are a predator lock them up and throw away the key. SCM is right that we need to understand them. we need more funding to help these kids before they become monsters. i tend to look at it like a terminal cancer. some kids have a greater risk of getting it later in life. i would love to find away to save these kids before it becomes terminal. once it is terminal sorry we cant help you but maybe we can find out what caused you to get it.

Yes, yes, Sheri. I didn't mean to imply that I think molesters should be roaming the streets! I surely don't. But I do have compassion and I do wish for understanding.

 

[southcitymom]

I wish I had your compassion and understanding South......Ive become jaded and vengeful....theres just to many sad stories out there for me to be forgiving or understanding.

This I understand so well, dingo. Believe me when I say I have a generous cloak of cynicism, but in the end I remain an unrepentant optimist. I have a genuine belief in the goodness of humanity though we are admittedly slow in reaching our potential.

 

[sherri79]

Yes, yes, Sheri. I didn't mean to imply that I think molesters should be roaming the streets! I surely don't. But I do have compassion and I do wish for understanding.

i know you didn't hun.i have read your post here and on many other threads. you try more than most of us to see how some1 born with a innocent soul can turn to evil. a lot of the time i just see what they have done and don't care why. reading your post help me to keep the vengeful part of myself in check sometimes. most the time i still think fry em but sometimes u help me stay in check.

 

[southcitymom]

i know you didn't hun.i have read your post here and on many other threads. you try more than most of us to see how some1 born with a innocent soul can turn to evil. a lot of the time i just see what they have done and don't care why. reading your post help me to keep the vengeful part of myself in check sometimes. most the time i still think fry em but sometimes u help me stay in check.

That is very kind of you to say. It made me :blushing: .

 

[dingo]

This I understand so well, dingo. Believe me when I say I have a generous cloak of cynicism, but in the end I remain an unrepentant optimist. I have a genuine belief in the goodness of humanity though we are admittedly slow in reaching our potential.

You are very kind and very wise South.....I really do admire you

 

[southcitymom]

You are very kind and very wise South.....I really do admire you

The feeling is completely mutual, dear dingo! :blowkiss:

 

[IrishMist]

A pedophile is someone who is primarily or exclusively sexually attracted to children. Yes - I think it is the attraction and not the action that makes someone a pedophile, but the attraction needs to be primary and exclusive.

For example, the courts are filled with sexual molestation cases where an adult has molested a child not because the adult is a pedophile, but because the adult had sexual desire and opportunity and the child was "convenient." As you can imagine - drugs and alcohol are usually at play in these types of case.

If a drunken stepdad molests his 12-year-old stepdaughter because the mother is out of town, he's a child molester and he's a criminal, but in many cases he may not have a primary/exclusive sexual attraction to children. If the daughter had been 18 or 21, he might have tried the same thing. He may have a long history of being with only adult women and that may be his primary attraction. He took advantage of the young girl because it was convenient, not because his primary attraction is to young girls.

Does that make sense?

Horrible damage is done to the child either way, but child molestation does not always equal pedophelia.

PS - according to several things I have read, this type of sexual molestation (the scenario I described above) happens more than molestation at the hands of genuine pedophiles.

I'm still trying to understand this.

In my mind, there must be some predisposition toward children. I mean, I've been drunk. And I've been horny. Lord knows I've been both at the same time. But never. And I mean NEVER would I molest a child.

It seems to me that there has to be a latent aspect. I could even fathom a continuum of sorts. But I can not see a normal, healthy adult male molesting a child because the child is convenient.

 

[southcitymom]

I'm still trying to understand this.

In my mind, there must be some predisposition toward children. I mean, I've been drunk. And I've been horny. Lord knows I've been both at the same time. But never. And I mean NEVER would I molest a child.

It seems to me that there has to be a latent aspect. I could even fathom a continuum of sorts. But I can not see a normal, healthy adult male molesting a child because the child is convenient.

Me too, Irish. I would expect that vast majority of people can say the same thing.

But I don't think there necessarily has to be a predisposotion towards sex with children in the way a pedophile is predisposed.

This link explains a little more fully what I'm getting at http://www.crimelibrary.com/criminal_mind/psychology/pedophiles/2.html

One excerpt:


"Molesters engage in sex with children for a variety of reasons and sometimes these reasons have little to do with sexual desires. This type of offender, called a situational child molester, does not possess a genuine sexual preference for children. Rather, the motivational factors are criminal in nature. In some cases, the offender’s sexual abuse of young people is a natural outgrowth of other forms of abuse in his life. That abuse is a continuation of a process by which he has mistreated his friends, colleagues, spouse and family members. He will have low self-esteem, maintain poor moral standards and view sex with children as an opportunity to prolong the violence that is already an active component of his existence. Other situational offenders see children as a substitute for an adult partner. Although these types of offenders do not harbor a singular sexual desire for children, they may react to a built up sexual impulse or anger, that to them, is irresistible. However, the victim is incidental. It could have been a store clerk, an elderly person or simply a woman walking down a lonely street. Because of the circumstances at hand, such as the Polly Klass incident, the victim happened to be a child. His main criteria for a victim is availability. The situational child molester will usually have few victims, sometimes only one, and never repeat the event again. He could be a social misfit or a psychopathic personality who harbors a seething resentment and hostility toward society in general.

 

[IrishMist]

Me too, Irish. I would expect that vast majority of people can say the same thing.

But I don't think there necessarily has to be a predisposotion towards sex with children in the way a pedophile is predisposed.

This link explains a little more fully what I'm getting at http://www.crimelibrary.com/criminal_mind/psychology/pedophiles/2.html

One excerpt:


"Molesters engage in sex with children for a variety of reasons and sometimes these reasons have little to do with sexual desires. This type of offender, called a situational child molester, does not possess a genuine sexual preference for children. Rather, the motivational factors are criminal in nature. In some cases, the offender’s sexual abuse of young people is a natural outgrowth of other forms of abuse in his life. That abuse is a continuation of a process by which he has mistreated his friends, colleagues, spouse and family members. He will have low self-esteem, maintain poor moral standards and view sex with children as an opportunity to prolong the violence that is already an active component of his existence. Other situational offenders see children as a substitute for an adult partner. Although these types of offenders do not harbor a singular sexual desire for children, they may react to a built up sexual impulse or anger, that to them, is irresistible. However, the victim is incidental. It could have been a store clerk, an elderly person or simply a woman walking down a lonely street. Because of the circumstances at hand, such as the Polly Klass incident, the victim happened to be a child. His main criteria for a victim is availability. The situational child molester will usually have few victims, sometimes only one, and never repeat the event again. He could be a social misfit or a psychopathic personality who harbors a seething resentment and hostility toward society in general.

Ok. Finally! I get a better grasp after reading this, thank you for posting it.

 

[southcitymom]

Ok. Finally! I get a better grasp after reading this, thank you for posting it.

As usual, someone else describes it better than I can.

To me, it's a distinction worthy of considering, because not only are our children not safe at the hands of pedophiles, but also at the hands of other "high risk" individuals. ie - Just because someone's NOT a pedophile doesn't mean they aren't capable of sexually molesting my child. That's information that I want to have at my disposal.

 

[IrishMist]

As usual, someone else describes it better than I can.

To me, it's a distinction worthy of considering, because not only are our children not safe at the hands of pedophiles, but also at the hands of other "high risk" individuals. ie - Just because someone's NOT a pedophile doesn't mean they aren't capable of sexually molesting my child. That's information that I want to have at my disposal.

It's not necessarily your description. When reading about this type of thing, sometimes it needs to be presented from different angles before it sinks in for me. I also tend to get emotional about this subject, and am not reading from an objective viewpoint.

I appreciate you taking the time, and making the effort to make it understandable. (at least understandable to me)

 

[southcitymom]

This is another excellent article - an FBI article. It's a bit dated, but it does include statements to support the contention that most child sexual abuse cases encountered by investigators are situational in nature.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2194/is_n6_v63/ai_15704699

One major difference between a situational child molester and a preferential child molester (pedophile in action) is that a situational molester usually has very few victims, sometimes only one; whereas the preferential molester usually has numerous victims.

Sometimes I think that we tend to focus our rage and fear and efforts for justice more on the active pedophile because most of us have a very difficult time imagining how anyone could have a sexual preference for children - it seems so gruesome to most people. And yet, the world is littered with victims of situational molesters.

Both types need to be considered when we talk about protecting our children.

 

[IrishMist]

This is another excellent article - an FBI article. It's a bit dated, but it does include statements to support the contention that most child sexual abuse cases encountered by investigators are situational in nature.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2194/is_n6_v63/ai_15704699

One major difference between a situational child molester and a preferential child molester (pedophile in action) is that a situational molester usually has very few victims, sometimes only one; whereas the preferential molester usually has numerous victims.

Sometimes I think that we tend to focus our rage and fear and efforts for justice more on the active pedophile because most of us have a very difficult time imagining how anyone could have a sexual preference for children - it seems so gruesome to most people. And yet, the world is littered with victims of situational molesters.

Both types need to be considered when we talk about protecting our children.

And both types need to be locked up.

 

[southcitymom]

And both types need to be locked up.

Amen, sister!

 

[Texana]

Interesting that the other teacher found the letter.

Either the teacher left it where it could be found on purpose, or she did something that made the other teacher suspicious and on the lookout for something like that--Or so I think.

I agree, something is very wrong with teachers of today, and it would have been such a rare thing when I first started teaching--Now it's all too common.

 

[SewingDeb]

I'm still trying to understand this.

In my mind, there must be some predisposition toward children. I mean, I've been drunk. And I've been horny. Lord knows I've been both at the same time. But never. And I mean NEVER would I molest a child.

It seems to me that there has to be a latent aspect. I could even fathom a continuum of sorts. But I can not see a normal, healthy adult male molesting a child because the child is convenient.

I agree with you. Alcohol and drugs many times just lower the inhibitions so the true colors are seen. There would have to be some attraction to the child for molestation to take place. Most normal, healthy adults would be repelled by the thought even when under the influence.