GA - Theresa Parker, 41, Lafayette, 21 March 2007 - #2

[angelmom]

This is really on point, and it applies to a lot of cases I can think of.

Another thing that applies to the silent x - not only does he not cave under pressure, but it seems as though other people do not either.

Maybe I'm not following the same lines as you, so you might have to steer me back on track, but if I am, I am surprised in all of these cases that people didn't come out of the woodwork to tell old horror stories about the guy. Not even exaggerated ones for media attention.

So, not only does the silent x have the ability to withstand a great deal of stress from LE, he inspires some sort of loyalty or there is some other reason why we are not seeing women from his past telling about their close calls with him. We are only hearing rumors of those things. Why is that?

This also happened with Scott Peterson, Michael Peterson, OJ...just the ones off the top of my head.


*OTOH...no worries on the font...I just was having trouble reading, and I like to read your posts. Don't want to miss them. Good idea to compose in Word so that you don't lose them in case of computer or online burp. Thanks for fixing that. Much better now.

 

[rd_jfc]

angelmom, I'll just respond real quick to you before tackling otoh's questions. There are women from the past who are afraid and speak up about it, at least to those close to them and law enforcement.

We have posts here that Sam Parker's prior wife has done that. When Chandra disappeared, a number of women from Condit's past went to LE out of fear for their lives.

It's not that common because there's not that much opportunity to have a number of women from the ex's past who are afraid. Maybe the occasional ex-wife as in Theresa's case.

More to the point is the history of the women with the ex prior to disappearing.

The family standing by these guys in some ways has to make you think it is exactly that pathetic enabling that produces such selfish, conscienceless men that we see in silent ex's.

rd

 

[OnTHEotherHAND...]

rd.

I see where you are coming from here and I must say you make an excellent point:

The family standing by these guys in some ways has to make you think it is exactly that pathetic enabling that produces such selfish, conscienceless men that we see in silent ex's.

Another word for it is spoiled brat. The temper tantrum fit and violent outbursts of rage would also fit the bill. What you have is an overgrown 3 yr old that ran over his parents and got away with all manner of bad behavior. Dad probably took so much before stepping in with a surprise burst of anger and Mom came to the rescue with a nauseating display of coddling and protection. The kid learned the shock, jolt and scare move from Dad and also learned to keep that mouth shut at any cost when needed. The same kid learned to extract sympathy and adoration at the hands of Mom. Mom truly convinced him that he had done no wrong. He learned to believe it and slowly came to a point of being able to dismiss an event of misbehavior as having never even happened.

Additionally, although the unacceptable behavior was certain to evoke a reaction from authority, the payoff was worth the pain as Mom really poured on the syrup in the aftermath. We are born with a hunger, a desire, a necessity to be loved. We will usually do anything to find it…

It’s really fascinating to see the three year old in each of us. The first four or five years of our lives are when we become who we will always be…

otoh

 

[rd_jfc]

The “silent X” profile is rather interesting.

rd writes:

None of this applies to typical silent ex when a woman disappears. They are rarely experienced bad people and typically don't have associates involved in their deed, nor feel a compulsion to talk about it, such as some bad people may do to brag about their misdeeds.

I suppose there must be the occasional person who suffers from a pang of conscience and feels compelled to confess to someone, but haven't seen that with silent ex's.

I quickly searched for anything on the “silent x” or “silent ex” and did not find much. Could it be that “silent x” is an rd original?

rd-- From your archived posts I have compiled a partial list of traits common to the “silent x” personality. See if I have it correct and add to or edit as you deem accurate.

Silent X

• Typically don’t involve other people in their deed. Act alone.
• Seldom compelled to discuss their actions.
• Seemingly bear no guilt or remorse for their deed.
• Refuse to take lie detector test.
• Ability to remain silent for years on end without breaking down
• History of domestic abuse both verbal and physical
• Often a control freak. Calm and collected exterior with a violent rage inside.
• ….

Rd- I invite you to continue the list of commonalities and if applicable, address the following circumstances:

• children/no children
• average age of silent x?
• occupations?
• repeat offenders?
• conviction rate
• do they eventually relocate geographically or not?
• is pleasure derived from foiling authority’s i.e. Munchausen syndrome?
• are the suicide threats ever carried out or is that behavior motivated by another need for attention?
• supposing the silent x averted the criminal courts- do they ever face charges in the civil arena? i.e. oj simpson

Finally, slightly off subject but a short answer will suffice…. In your humble opinion- Who killed jb Ramsey?


otoh

Silent ex may well be an rd original. Goodness knows I never knew of such a thing before getting involved in trying to figure out clues from Chandra's PC, then seeing another Modesto women disappear and the web community pointing out the uncanny resemblances between Scott Peterson and Gary Condit. And after enough women disappear you just realize there is a silent ex behind one missing women after another.

There's no average age to them. They aren't very young, there's usually a financial incentive for the woman to disappear mixed with control issues. Children, or in Laci's case, an unborn child, sometimes contribute to the financial incentive in the form of child support requirements.

There are so many of these cases where the missing woman hasn't been found that I hesitate to generalize about prosecution, criminal or civil. But I would say in general where a missing woman has been able to be found the murderer, often the ex, is able to be prosecuted successfully.

Like ages, other aspects of the silent ex's run the gamut of occupation, income, background, etc. I don't think there's a profile except that what one might expect in a profile, a particulary abusive man without any Boy Scout awards and such hasn't been the profile of any of these men.

I don't have an exact count of missing woman cases in the last six years which have been profiled on crime boards but it's depressingly too frequent. Sometimes it slows down and I think maybe a few of these women will be found and some cases can wrap up and we can stop sending out search parties for yet another victim, and then yet another woman disappears.

About the only thing they have in common is a silent ex. I don't think the ex gets any pleasure in this, but has definitely justified to themself. I have mentioned BTK Strangler a couple of times in comparison, and I would say that kind of able to operate as a totally respectable human being despite what they have done. However being silent except when they think they can control the dialogue is an important part of carrying it off.

Threatening suicide is generally not part of it. I think when they feel they are losing control of the dialogue, perhaps have caught in a lie they're not able to lie out of, is a way to escape the rationality of it.

Besides Parker, I can only recall Lori Hacking's husband doing something similar in checking himself into a ward. Too much pressure from not only police but an unpathetic, unenabling family applying too much pressure for answers than he could deal with.

If only all the silent ex's had families like that.

rd

Off off topic P.S. I haven't spent the years analyzing the details of JonBenet's murder as others have, but I've followed enough of their sleuthing to believe that the ransom note was written by Patsy after the death as a coverup. I think any conclusion drawn from that is close enough.

 

[chicoliving]

Sisters of missing 911 dispatcher Theresa Parker said Monday night that she left her LaFayette Police Department husband after he went after her in a bathtub last July.

Christina Hall and Hilda Wilson were guests of Judy O'Neal on Night Talk on UCTV-3.

They said Ms. Parker filed for divorce after the frightening incident, and Sgt. Sam Parker afterwards mainly lived with his father at Trion, Ga.

http://www.chattanoogan.com/articles/article_106979.asp

 

[DEPUTYDAWG]

Thank you, Chico.
Glad to see there was at least something in the media.

 

[angelmom]

I hope the family can manage to keep the pressure on the cops, but I am saddened by how long we can go before new info comes out. Isn't there any more pressure they can put on SP???

Her family must be feeling that anxiety that Sharon Rocha was experiencing before Laci and Conner washed ashore...wondering if the was going to get away with it. :sick:

I pray that they find her.

 

[Bobbisangel]

I'm still wondering if those fires...I think there were three of them somewhere by Sam Parker's home...were ever checked out after they cooled off enough for people to walk through them. They weren't right by his house but somewhere in that area. A great place to dump a body and hope to heck it burnt totally up. Those fires get really hot. I'm thinking about Steven Avery and what he did to Teresa Halback's body in that hot bonfire. They found very few bone pieces. I also remember Sam Parker saying that he could get rid of a body to where it would never be found. A big ole fire would be a great place to do that.

I don't look for Sam Parker to ever break. I think he went for mental help that couple of times to set things up for a trial just in case he was arrested. I also have an idea that one of his buddys know what happened but will keep mum too. Probably that one who spent some time in jail. I still wonder what that was all about.

 

[OnTHEotherHAND...]

LE is continuing to pursue local lakes and ponds with cadaver dogs and divers. Although LE has not released a word in weeks, they are not particularly going around invisible either. Some of the ponds have boats that stay tied to trees and docks all the time. They have taken a couple of those boats into the lab and returned them within the last week or so. As far as searching remote locations, keep in mind that Sam has really bad hips. He is slow moving and would find it nearly impossible to move much more than himself up a good flight of stairs without considerable effort. He is not known for having much wind in a scuffle but makes up for his lack of stamina with a lightning fast, well executed choke hold that few can escape without his consent…

 

[gagal]

LE is continuing to pursue local lakes and ponds with cadaver dogs and divers. Although LE has not released a word in weeks, they are not particularly going around invisible either. Some of the ponds have boats that stay tied to trees and docks all the time. They have taken a couple of those boats into the lab and returned them within the last week or so. As far as searching remote locations, keep in mind that Sam has really bad hips. He is slow moving and would find it nearly impossible to move much more than himself up a good flight of stairs without considerable effort. He is not known for having much wind in a scuffle but makes up for his lack of stamina with a lightning fast, well executed choke hold that few can escape without his consent…

Thanks for the update OTOH. I sure hope they're still actively searching. I just wish they would have more volunteer searches as I know I would give my time and they could cover a lot more ground to rule places out.

As far as saying he has bad hips, that doesn't mean a lot to me b/c adrenaline can make you do a lot of things that you didn't think you could do yourself. If he was in panic mode (which who wouldn't be if you had to get rid of a dead body) I would say he could muster up enough strength to carry Theresa.......

 

[TGIRecovered]

Thanks for the update OTOH. I sure hope they're still actively searching. I just wish they would have more volunteer searches as I know I would give my time and they could cover a lot more ground to rule places out.

As far as saying he has bad hips, that doesn't mean a lot to me b/c adrenaline can make you do a lot of things that you didn't think you could do yourself. If he was in panic mode (which who wouldn't be if you had to get rid of a dead body) I would say he could muster up enough strength to carry Theresa.......

...or put her in something that rolls like a wheelbarrow or large suitcase, or drag her on a blanket, or better yet- call your best buddy who is already lit, give him a few extra shots of his fav liquor, and get him to do it while he is blacked out drunk.:sick: He won't remember a thing!

Susan

 

[chicoliving]

Family and friends of missing Walker County dispatcher Theresa Parker are planning a benefit dinner to continue fundraising efforts to boost the reward for their loved one.

The family established an account at the Bank of LaFayette to gather contributions in addition to the $1,000 reward from Gov. Sonny Perdue, which will be awarded to anyone with information that leads to Mrs. Parker's recovery.

Mrs. Parker's brother-in-law Jonathan Wilson said more than $2,000 has been added to the account, mostly from small, individual contributions. Mr. Wilson said he is also going to contact Gov. Perdue's office and plea for more money.

With no new leads, he said the only thing the family knows to do is gather as much money as possible, in the hopes that it will lead someone with information to come forward.

http://www.timesfreepress.com/absolutenm/templates/local.aspx?articleid=15105&zoneid=77

 

[OnTHEotherHAND...]

The civilian manned search party is a good idea in the early stages of a missing person case. But, as time passes, so does the possibility of a happy searchers ending.

Early on, and before there is any reason to believe a crime has been committed, you can use large numbers of people to cover a lot of ground. At that point however, the search is on for a person who might have fallen and cant get back up, a person who may have been snake bitten and unable to walk, tripped into an old well etc.

As the attitude towards the case changes, so does the importance of making sure that only trained professionals do the searching. I don’t think it would be proper to send a mixed group of civilians combing over the country side in search of a decomposing corpse. Not to be inappropriate or disrespectful, but a crime scene that involves the decomposition and decay of a human body is not a sight for the average person to deal with. The smell is always there and the ghostly images will haunt you for life.

Furthermore, the evidence at a crime scene, even months down the road from the actual event taking place, can be critical to the prosecution of a case. Untrained persons could destroy such evidence along with a chance of solving the crime and ending the day with a successful trial.

If an individual wishes to search, knowing full well what they are looking for, or if a crime scene is discovered, perhaps by accident, then so be it. But I have to agree with LE on this one. If Theresa’s body is meant to be found, it will be. The Law of Attraction and the nature of Karma will win out in the end.

On another note.

I have never been there, and Dear God knows I hope I never do, but I have wondered to myself… Would I rather find my child, and know they were surely deceased, or would I prefer to not know for absolute certain, keeping that small window of hope alive…. On the slimmest chance that they may come walking back through my door someday--- with a story to tell.

otoh

 

[scandi]

Hey, I just have to tell you OTOH how much I look forward to every post you write. Yes, you are local which is such a plus in our trying to assess the mood and get an inside look at the people involved, but it is much more than that. There is always something to take away, and either chew on or savor, in your writing.

Krams {big Hugs in Swedish! ;} Scandi

 

[angelmom]

Hey, I just have to tell you OTOH how much I look forward to every post you write. Yes, you are local which is such a plus in our trying to assess the mood and get an inside look at the people involved, but it is much more than that. There is always something to take away, and either chew on or savor, in your writing.

Krams {big Hugs in Swedish! ;} Scandi

ITA...

 

[gagal]

The civilian manned search party is a good idea in the early stages of a missing person case. But, as time passes, so does the possibility of a happy searchers ending.

Early on, and before there is any reason to believe a crime has been committed, you can use large numbers of people to cover a lot of ground. At that point however, the search is on for a person who might have fallen and cant get back up, a person who may have been snake bitten and unable to walk, tripped into an old well etc.

As the attitude towards the case changes, so does the importance of making sure that only trained professionals do the searching. I don’t think it would be proper to send a mixed group of civilians combing over the country side in search of a decomposing corpse. Not to be inappropriate or disrespectful, but a crime scene that involves the decomposition and decay of a human body is not a sight for the average person to deal with. The smell is always there and the ghostly images will haunt you for life.

Furthermore, the evidence at a crime scene, even months down the road from the actual event taking place, can be critical to the prosecution of a case. Untrained persons could destroy such evidence along with a chance of solving the crime and ending the day with a successful trial.

If an individual wishes to search, knowing full well what they are looking for, or if a crime scene is discovered, perhaps by accident, then so be it. But I have to agree with LE on this one. If Theresa’s body is meant to be found, it will be. The Law of Attraction and the nature of Karma will win out in the end.

On another note.

I have never been there, and Dear God knows I hope I never do, but I have wondered to myself… Would I rather find my child, and know they were surely deceased, or would I prefer to not know for absolute certain, keeping that small window of hope alive…. On the slimmest chance that they may come walking back through my door someday--- with a story to tell.

otoh

Actually, the GBI said that from the moment they took over the case they didn't expect to find Theresa alive so I think it was obvious even during the 1st volunteer search what the searchers were looking for. Before the volunteer search, the officers had already searched parts of the woods on 4-wheelers up around the mountain simply because Sheriff Wilson said "it would be a good place to dump a body." That lets me know they were already looking for a body the day of the 1st search. They were told to look for Theresa or any other clues like clothes, her purse, or her cell phone and told not to touch anything if they found something. The newspaper reported that some searchers that day found a purse that matched the desciption of Theresa's, and they called and waited for the appropriate person to get there to collect it to ensure that they didn't contaiminate any evidence. It turned out that it didn't belong to her though.

The volunteers are broken down into groups and each group is sent out with a professional so that they don't touch anything if they find it. I think the volunteers need to be over the age of 18 and need to know ahead of time what they might encounter, but I think it is important enough to find Theresa that they put the volunteer effort together and then people can decide for themselves if they want to participate. Living with the horror of seeing a decomposing body can't be half as bad as what her family is going through on a day-to-day basis wondering where she is and living in agony. That's just my opinion though.

 

[OnTHEotherHAND...]

I have thought a lot recently about what I would do if I were in the position of Theresa’a family. At this point in the game I believe I would have to go ahead and take matters into my own hands…

First, I would have to feel absolutely certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt that I knew who was responsible. Lets say for sake of discussion I knew that my brother-in-law, Spam, was guilty. Ok.

I would then take that reward money and a lot more, whatever it took, wouldn’t matter, and I would pay a professional to find Mr. Spam and basically put him through the wringer. Sodium Thiopental,
Grain alcohol, and sleep deprivation along with well timed extreme physical pain. If he did not talk after 4 or 5 days, I would figure he is not going to. But, I do think he would.

At any rate, I would then have him returned to where ever it is that aliens dump their guest after they have taken that little ride around the galaxy as they perform the infamous alien probing operation…

My next move would depend on the results of that one…

OnTHEotherHAND…

Oh, and if changed and convicted for having hired done or personally done such an inhumane deed, I would proudly serve my sentence.

 

[rd_jfc]

The number of professional "interrogators", if you will, that would risk their professional life and freedom for you has to be exceedingly small. You are much more likely to be turned in by a police informant than anything else.

I would encourage the volunteer searchers partnered with a professional who can assess a potential crime scene as soon as it is spotted, and discourage vigilantes, volunteer or paid.

Early on the smell of decomposition could have been detected from quite a distance, and from everything I've read the local Georgia investigators have tried very hard to detect it.

As time goes by it must be much less detectable, but if we are to believe a certain unnamed Rock Creek Park visitor who says he was looking for turtles, his dog came up the side of a hill from a road and found Chandra Levy's skull under a pile of leaves and brush.

I can tell you from experience that that required climbing down into and back up out of a fifteen foot deep gully in the process, so it took some perseverance to get there.

I doubt Theresa was placed relatively in the open in such an inaccessible place as that, because it would require the killer and possible accomplice to access the inaccessible, with a body, in the middle of the night.

But the dump the body not far off a road has been attempted to be eliminated, and the potential for being dropped sown some hole and covered up or weighted down in water are great.

It is a very sad situation. Chandra's body, while inaccessible from below, was some distance down a tree covered hillside from a park hiking trail, paved road, and picnic area. And yet she was not found for a year, despite the many dog walkers who came before the turtle hunter.

So close, yet so far.

rd

 

[Bobbisangel]

Why don't they ask Tim Miller and Co for help along with some others that help with searches like this? I would have contacted Tim Miller right at the beginning. He is always willing to help out if at all possible. Are they using dogs to help search? I mean good dogs that are well trained and have been successful before?

I have to agree that I think Sam Parker had help and I believe that it was from his good buddy who landed in jail for a couple days. I guess they couldn't make him talk or he couldn't remember. Did he have blackouts? If I knew that a friend of mine had murdered his/her wife or husband I couldn't live with myself if I didn't go to LE. No matter how good a friend that friend was or how long we had been friends I would have to turn my friend in.

If a family member of mine was missing I would be out there searching. I think it is much worse not knowing then knowing what happened and bringing that loved one home. I've heard many families of missing loved ones say that it is the not knowing that is the worst. I don't know how I would react upon finding a dead person. It would be horrible but if someone from my family or even in the area I live in disappeared I would help search for them. I would hope they would do the same for me if the roles were reversed.

 

[rd_jfc]

The news articles have cited that multiple teams with dogs searched a large area south of Theresa's home where her cell phone signals were last picked up, after midnight on Wednesday.

Posters and articles have also said there were dogs with the divers searching ponds. They would be looking for a hit on any of the ponds as well as diving into some even without a hit. That's in addition to draining a nearby one.

This was one of their own, a 911 dispatcher. I'm sure they pulled out all the stops for her from the get go. Same with Tara Grinstead in Ocilla. And Tara hasn't been found either.

rd