Here's a Woman Who Has Sex With a Tree

[LinasK]

By Tommy Gimler Mar 23, 2015
According to "Closer" magazine, a 31-year-old woman wants to marry a tree she calls "Tim" because the sex she has with it is the best she has ever had. "He fulfills my emotional and sexual needs," McCabe said. "I orgasm by rubbing against the bark naked. I love the feeling of skin-on-bark contact, which gives me a more pleasurable pain sensation, and the feel of his leaves against my skin makes me tingle. I have sex with him every week--it's the best I've ever had!"
http://www.mandatory.com/2015/03/23...aolp00002185:hilarious::hilarious::hilarious:

 

[bluesneakers]

Splinters?

 

[Donjeta]

She's faithful, she doesn't bark up the wrong tree.

 

[bluesneakers]

She will never leaf him.

 

[katydid23]

She will never leaf him.

Unless she feels like branching out.

 

[Donjeta]

She will never leaf him.

Touch wood...

 

[daisymae]

Looking in my yard studying my trees.

 

[Strangeworld]

I'll go out on a limb and ask if a tree has sex in a forest, does anyone hear?

 

[Peliman]

What a sap.

 

[Donjeta]

I used to pine for a tree but I couldn't stand the constant needling.

 

[Sillybilly]

knotty girl

 

[helpfulcharlie]

I wonder if she's into treesomes.

 

[Sporky]

I wonder how many saplings they will have.

 

[bluesneakers]

Is he going to put a ring on it?

 

[bluesneakers]

I hope he doesn't leave her at the alder.

 

[STANDREID]

Tim puts the root to her whenever she wants.

 

[LinasK]

You people are too funny!!! These puns are as bad as the ones DH and his father would (wood- there I did it too) come up with, LOL!!!:floorlaugh::floorlaugh::floorlaugh:

 

[LinasK]

I wonder how many saplings they will have.

:laughcry:Oooh, Oooh, I got it! They can name their offshoot Rooty!!!

 

[ATasteOfHoney]

She's a real dog--wood

 

[Peliman]

Is she fir real, I'm sycamore women choosing trees.