Oh good; I've been looking for a source that has verified the specific "brand" of Patsy's sexual abuse she suffered as a child herself and have never found that. Do you know your source on that? I'd love to read more.
As to Patsy "demonstrating no signs of that type of sexual abuse", I'm ultra confused. Are there some specific signs of that specific kind of abuse that signify that particular kind of sexual abuse did (or did not) happen to a person in their childhood? I'm only familiar with the more commonly known huuuge numbers of people who often take years of therapy before they have been able to bring up and discuss childhood sexual abuse at all.
I'm just trying to be sure we aren't taking what we'd "like" to believe is true and then building confirmation statements around that wish as though it "is" indeed true instead of being an as yet unknown.
I totally agree with you.
I grew up knowing a family with kids where there was all kinds of abuse - the house was dirty, parents negligent, hunger, poor hygiene, alcohol and corporal punishment towards the kids on a regular bases. It lasted all their childhood. I was a friend for one of the sisters and we played together outside and at my place. I only once visited their house, without my parents knowing, when I was about 6-7 years old - and the shock of the scene and the smell of it all still comes back to me when I think about it 30 years later.
I knew one of the daughters of that household until I finished high school and after that our ways parted. But I have kept in touch with the other sister and we have met on a couple of occasions later in life. And, thanks to the Internet, I have learned that both girls have thrived - they both have college degrees with one of them running a company, are clean, own houses and both have lovely families. They, seemingly, look all happy on the pictures and videos they post online and their awful past have left them behind.
They do not demonstrate anything that would make someone think that they had a poor upbringing. I know it was there, I witnessed it multiple times.
My point is, there are no "signs". People are different. Some get affected by abuse and become abusers too. Some hide it deep inside and become drug addicts, alcoholics or even commit suicide because it is all too much to cope. And some just put their past behind themselves and live, thrive and make their own dreams happen. There are no rules here. Some are able to talk about their past experiences - they write books and do counselling to help others. Some will never get over it enough to even talk about it and carry the shame of it inside for all of their lives. People are different, and cope differently.
And there are also those who seemingly appear to others like they have it all together and live a wonderful lives - exactly like Ramsey's. But what the public and friends saw about them ant their house was not a reality, was it? It was just a performance put up by them. But no-one really knew what the house looked like when the party was over. Or that the kids had toileting and hygiene issues that should have been dealt with. That John and Patsy's relationship was, perhaps, colder and more distant then what they showed to the guests at the parties. And so one... Truth is, we rarely know what happens behind closed doors. And that also applies regarding the abuse - will will never know for sure.
There are many who smile in the public and hug their kids when someone is watching. But after they arrive home the smiles fade and abuse starts. Threats, violence, sexual abuse, verbal abuse or corporal punishment all happen, no matter what the abusers past was. A princess can be aggressive, a shy school boy can become a mass murderer, a good father and a respected colleague can throw his child off a bridge, a mother-of the-year can starve their children. We, have read about it all too many times, unfortunately...