IL - Should woman be acountable for their children's death by abuse?

[Amraann]

I agree, and IMO, there absolutely NO EXCUSE for allowing your child to be abused...regarlesss of whether or not you too are a victim. I repeat NO EXCUSE...and i think the jail time was appropriate. The mother did nothing to protect that child...and he died, should we give her a hankie now for all those tears she is crying!

Again I agree with bakers.
Unless the form of abuse is not obvious (like sexual abuse)
The mother is totally responsible if she is aware that she is with an abuser.
The bottom line is you protect your children.
Once you have them it is no longer about YOU and your desires it is about raising and protecting them in a safe environment.
To many women are popping out babies and then hooking up with any scum bag that comes along. Sadly the result is often the death or permanent damage to some helpless child.

 

[Angelrat]

Hello all what I have to say may be slightly off on a different tangent but so many times I hear when cases are being judged about child molesters or ppl that beat others I hear that they had themselves been through such a thing, Hell I was raped, sexually molested over 10 years with violent beatings but NEVER EVER will I inflict that on anyone else, the fact that I have been through this makes me know what it feels like and I sure as hell will NOT inflict it on an innocent. Lawyers, judges or such are using this plea as a total cop out and it should be removed from being used. Victims do not become perpetrators.

There i'll get off teh soap box now LOL :boohoo:

Hugs Karin:blushing:

 

[close_enough]

i ditto the "no excuse")........i'd die before i'd have let anyone abuse one of my children; simple as that... whether being jailed or getting killed first....but that's just me....mother's can't allow their children to be abused/murdered...it's just not suppose to happen...it CAN be stopped, imo..one way or another......

 

[southcitymom]

Hello all what I have to say may be slightly off on a different tangent but so many times I hear when cases are being judged about child molesters or ppl that beat others I hear that they had themselves been through such a thing, Hell I was raped, sexually molested over 10 years with violent beatings but NEVER EVER will I inflict that on anyone else, the fact that I have been through this makes me know what it feels like and I sure as hell will NOT inflict it on an innocent. Lawyers, judges or such are using this plea as a total cop out and it should be removed from being used. Victims do not become perpetrators.

There i'll get off teh soap box now LOL :boohoo:

Hugs Karin:blushing:

Karin,
I am so sorry these things happened to you. :blowkiss:

 

[Angelrat]

Thank you SouthCityMom, I have grown up and Love all my god children and make sure they hear it every day, I love ppl and children and just one voice can make a difference and we in this place are many voices lets hope it all makes a difference.

Hugs Karin :blowkiss:

I applaud you all for being wonderful :clap:

 

[Amraann]

Hello all what I have to say may be slightly off on a different tangent but so many times I hear when cases are being judged about child molesters or ppl that beat others I hear that they had themselves been through such a thing, Hell I was raped, sexually molested over 10 years with violent beatings but NEVER EVER will I inflict that on anyone else, the fact that I have been through this makes me know what it feels like and I sure as hell will NOT inflict it on an innocent. Lawyers, judges or such are using this plea as a total cop out and it should be removed from being used. Victims do not become perpetrators.

There i'll get off teh soap box now LOL :boohoo:

Hugs Karin:blushing:

I am going to add to what Karin said here..

As I think it is a part of the whole general problem of abuse we see.
Why are these people who harm children ever let out?
EVER???
I know the arguement is "prisons are over crowded"
To that I say !!
If these abusers were locked up FOR GOOD they would not be able to raise and influence another generation.
I Agree to some extent with what Angel said that not all victims grow up to repeat but I also believe that the majority of those in our prison systems were abused in one way or another.
Stop the cycle keep them in prison forever!
If you abuse a child in anyway.
NO second chance! That child sure as hell is not getting a second chance to live a happy childhood so why do the offenders get a second chance?

 

[CyberLaw]

I would weigh in on this and say if a women cannot protect herself from abuse, how the heck does she think she can protect a child.

She is in a position of trust and love, even if a child is not abused and sees his Mom abused it still damages him and he could grow up to repeat the pattern.

The Mom is an adult, she can choose to stay or leave, but the child cannot defend himself or herself and is vulnerable and in need of care and love.

Of course a man who beats a women is going to harm any child in the relationship, it is a given fact, backed up by stats.;

So put the children safety well above your need to have a man in your life, or a man to help out financially. Some men prey on single mothers, some single mothers should not ever be mothers.

But a mother is held accountable by action or inaction for the abuse and death of their child. They do not have my sympathy. The mother knows about the abuse but puts her own needs, wants and desires well before her role as a mother who loves their child.

 

[Nocgirl]

When you guys have a minute, google Liana Sandoval.

 

[sherri79]

When you guys have a minute, google Liana Sandoval.

i did as you asked and her story broke my heart. 1 quote i saw in a story about her i think should be repeated here. hell it should be repeated on half the threads here.

Part of the problem, according to child welfare expert, Richard Gelles, is the persistent unwillingness to put children first. Children hold the same unalienable rights as adults; to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Now is the time to heed their cries for help, to help them when they cannot help themselves.

 

[CyberLaw]

You know the more I read cases about children dying from abuse, I just wonder what the mandate of CPS is. I just really, don't get it.

I read about Liana, Kelsey Brigg, but the case I will remember Tesslyn O' Cull that really got me, big time. When she died, many people knew that she was being abused and again did nothing. The mother went along with her boyfriend and covered up the murder.

Something has to change at the Federal Level that applies to all of the states. I wish people would stop sacrificing children for the sake of money or slight doubt. How can people go to the people who are alleged to have harmed the child. Of course they are going to say: Who me, who us, no, we have never harmed the child, she just bumps into furniture, or walls, or doors. She has accidents, he fell off her bike. What the heck do they think they are going to say.

You know we really like our US neighbors, but this type of case is a rare event in my City. Nothing is perfect, I will concede that, but when something is not working, when lives of children are at stake, then re do the whole system that is broken. Tesslyn O'Cull will be forever remembered by me, when I read the circumstances of her death, I cried for the pain that she suffered. May all of the children who never realized their future, rest in peace. Forever.

When something is broken, it must be fixed or children will continue to die.

 

[rayray]

I personally find it sad and disgusting that there has to be a LAW to hold a "parent" accountable for a situation that they put their child into. This should be common sense. I can tell you that my mother would have DIED trying to protect me from any harm, much less PUT me in the harmful situation. I am sick of hearing stories of boyfriends, husbands, girlfriends, wives, babysitters, etc, who harm children and the "parents" just stand back and let it happen by choosing not to leave, or pretending nothing is going on. Let them all rot in prison... or better yet..

 

[bakerprune64]

I personally find it sad and disgusting that there has to be a LAW to hold a "parent" accountable for a situation that they put their child into. This should be common sense. I can tell you that my mother would have DIED trying to protect me from any harm, much less PUT me in the harmful situation. I am sick of hearing stories of boyfriends, husbands, girlfriends, wives, babysitters, etc, who harm children and the "parents" just stand back and let it happen by choosing not to leave, or pretending nothing is going on. Let them all rot in prison... or better yet..

Even if the mom suspected something was going on it is their job to take immediate action to protect the child/children. I agree with you Rayray.

my3girls

 

[Details]

Yes, they should be held accountable. Not to the same level as the abuser, to a slightly lesser degree still if they themselves were abused - but still, unless you are flat out imprisioned, you can leave, and when a child is involved, you have to try.

But it's tricky - no doubt the abuser promises to kill the child if you try to leave, etc. - and we all know that threat is sometimes carried out, and there's little enough law enforcement can do to completely prevent it. Still, some simply accept it to have a man in their life - they should be held completely accountable.

 

[Diamond]

I personally find it sad and disgusting that there has to be a LAW to hold a "parent" accountable for a situation that they put their child into. This should be common sense. I can tell you that my mother would have DIED trying to protect me from any harm, much less PUT me in the harmful situation. I am sick of hearing stories of boyfriends, husbands, girlfriends, wives, babysitters, etc, who harm children and the "parents" just stand back and let it happen by choosing not to leave, or pretending nothing is going on. Let them all rot in prison... or better yet..

I completely agree!

 

[CyberLaw]

Too many parents put their own wants and needs ahead of their child. Or think that since they are in a relationship the BF or Step will harm the kids and then believe the lies when their guts tell them something that is not in tune with the story told. Or they blame the child, or what ever the excuse they make to evade and avoid responsibility to save their sorry butt.

One time the oldest was left with a new sitter, a women who seemed like a good Mom. I knew her from high school. To make a short story, our son came home with a "blister" from a burn on his finger. She made excuses, what ever. He never went back and I never spoke to her again. Apparently it was all of his fault, that he touch a heater. So therefore she was not watching him properly. I would die ten times over for my kids to be safe. Without any hesitation, ever. I think most of us would do that. But there are a lot that would not, and those are the parents who put themselves before their kids.

 

[rayray]

Yes, they should be held accountable. Not to the same level as the abuser, to a slightly lesser degree still if they themselves were abused - but still, unless you are flat out imprisioned, you can leave, and when a child is involved, you have to try.

But it's tricky - no doubt the abuser promises to kill the child if you try to leave, etc. - and we all know that threat is sometimes carried out, and there's little enough law enforcement can do to completely prevent it. Still, some simply accept it to have a man in their life - they should be held completely accountable.

Hell.. I think the "parents" are almost MORE guilty, if not as guilty, than the abuser. The "PARENT" has a responsibility to PROTECT, CARE, and LOVE that child. If he/she fails or flat out REFUSES to do their parental duties, has he/she not abused their child in a usually fatal manner? I'd rather make an effort to get away from a potentially dangerous situation, than knowingly stay in one.

 

[imthemom]

You know the more I read cases about children dying from abuse, I just wonder what the mandate of CPS is. I just really, don't get it.

I read about Liana, Kelsey Brigg, but the case I will remember Tesslyn O' Cull that really got me, big time. When she died, many people knew that she was being abused and again did nothing. The mother went along with her boyfriend and covered up the murder.

Something has to change at the Federal Level that applies to all of the states. I wish people would stop sacrificing children for the sake of money or slight doubt. How can people go to the people who are alleged to have harmed the child. Of course they are going to say: Who me, who us, no, we have never harmed the child, she just bumps into furniture, or walls, or doors. She has accidents, he fell off her bike. What the heck do they think they are going to say.

You know we really like our US neighbors, but this type of case is a rare event in my City. Nothing is perfect, I will concede that, but when something is not working, when lives of children are at stake, then re do the whole system that is broken. Tesslyn O'Cull will be forever remembered by me, when I read the circumstances of her death, I cried for the pain that she suffered. May all of the children who never realized their future, rest in peace. Forever.

When something is broken, it must be fixed or children will continue to die.

What ended up happening in Tesslyn's case? I have read part of the story but couldn't go on. I just hope this baby was pretty much out of it when the last of the abuse took place. I hope her mother and step monster burn in hell and have are living a daily hell right now.

 

[Kymistry35]

I agree that these women should be prosecuted to the max. Abuse or no abuse, a parent should not stand by and watch their kids get abused. I was in an abusive situation myself. The last fight we got in, he told me that he was going to burn my house down with me in it and steal my kids. Ya know what I did? I had his sorry azz thrown in jail and then I packed just what I needed, grabbed my kids and left town. Sure I had to struggle and ended up in a battered women's shelter, and it was hard, but my kids were SAFE.

 

[rayray]

I agree that these women should be prosecuted to the max. Abuse or no abuse, a parent should not stand by and watch their kids get abused. I was in an abusive situation myself. The last fight we got in, he told me that he was going to burn my house down with me in it and steal my kids. Ya know what I did? I had his sorry azz thrown in jail and then I packed just what I needed, grabbed my kids and left town. Sure I had to struggle and ended up in a battered women's shelter, and it was hard, but my kids were SAFE.

Bravo.

 

[imthemom]

I agree that these women should be prosecuted to the max. Abuse or no abuse, a parent should not stand by and watch their kids get abused. I was in an abusive situation myself. The last fight we got in, he told me that he was going to burn my house down with me in it and steal my kids. Ya know what I did? I had his sorry azz thrown in jail and then I packed just what I needed, grabbed my kids and left town. Sure I had to struggle and ended up in a battered women's shelter, and it was hard, but my kids were SAFE.

Exactly, what should have been done here, I would live in a shak before I would stay and let someone hurt my kids. :clap: