- Joined
- Aug 12, 2010
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Wanted to address a couple of things that keep coming up, just as food for thought. I still don't think the parents are guilty of Lisa's disappearance, but I am glad for the thought provoking questions from the "other side". There's a couple of issues though that should probably be non-issues as far as investigating the disappearance goes:
1 - Lisa having a cold. This child is 10 months old, not a newborn. A cold is not life threatening, and it is unlikely in the extreme that it ever would become life threatening for a ten month old. At absolute worst, it would cause a night of interrupted sleep due to cough or sniffles; most times, with just a cold, kids and older babies will pass the night just fine. For moms on their second or more kid, a cold just isn't a reason for hovering over the child all night, especially if you've got a monitor around too. I find nothing odd or suspicious in the fact that Lisa slept in her own bed that night, or that mom had company while Lisa had a cold.
2 - Lisa's bedtime. All children are different, an so are parents. In my home, I hav always insisted on early bedtimes for my four kids. One child was the oddball out, and went to bed at 630 because he never napped well even as a baby, and would crash at this time; all the others had bedtimes between 7 and 730 (of course as infants, depending on age, they might wake up still for a bottle or nursing, but then go bak to sleep). My 5 and 6 year olds still go to bed at 730. They play hard and fall asleep fast at that time.
I don't understand why people think this bedtime is odd. In fact, I think anyone letting their little on stay up past 8 is bordering on crazy lol. All the kids I know of personally whose parents let them stay up late (8, 830, 9:00) tend to be very cranky and whiny kids. When I see one neighbor walking around the block with her 6 and 3 year olds at 9pm at night, I always think "so THATs why your kids are always so miserable! Put them to bed!"
If you let your kid stay up late that's fine for you. But you can't extrapolate from that that having an early, regular bedtime is some sinister reason to suspect a mom of neglect, abuse, or otherwise harming her child.
3 - being drunk, or drinking to excess. Without knowing if this was a regular occurrence, how can we make a judgement about DB being a bad mother, or an immoral person, as I saw one poster somewhere say? Has no one here ever made a mistake? Yes, even when it comes to their kids? No one has ever done something and then said later, "wow, that was ridiculously stupid of me. Not gonna do that again!". Also, remember that some behavior is learned. DB might have grown up with it being normal for parents to socialize with drinks, with the kids home and about. I know mine did. I'm in my mid 30s, and my parents were pretty solid products of the 50s, so there was always lots of drinking, smoking, in my kitchen with friends and neighbors. Cocktails, beers, you name it (think Mad Men, but working class blue collar, not upper middle lol). Nothing bad ever happened, and nor was it seen as neglectful or abusive or abnormal. I had a great childhood, in fact! Of course, I can't ever remember mom or dad passing out or blacking out, but... :crazy:
Anyway, those are just a couple things I wanted to toss out there to give an alternative opinion on. Have been appreciating Most comments, but I do think, as someone earlier pointed out, there's a lot of glass houses sprouting up, and also a lot of ocusing in one some things that really just don't seem important, at least to me. :twocents:
Btw, apologies in advance for typos, I'm on the iPad and auto correct always manages to mess things up!
1 - Lisa having a cold. This child is 10 months old, not a newborn. A cold is not life threatening, and it is unlikely in the extreme that it ever would become life threatening for a ten month old. At absolute worst, it would cause a night of interrupted sleep due to cough or sniffles; most times, with just a cold, kids and older babies will pass the night just fine. For moms on their second or more kid, a cold just isn't a reason for hovering over the child all night, especially if you've got a monitor around too. I find nothing odd or suspicious in the fact that Lisa slept in her own bed that night, or that mom had company while Lisa had a cold.
2 - Lisa's bedtime. All children are different, an so are parents. In my home, I hav always insisted on early bedtimes for my four kids. One child was the oddball out, and went to bed at 630 because he never napped well even as a baby, and would crash at this time; all the others had bedtimes between 7 and 730 (of course as infants, depending on age, they might wake up still for a bottle or nursing, but then go bak to sleep). My 5 and 6 year olds still go to bed at 730. They play hard and fall asleep fast at that time.
I don't understand why people think this bedtime is odd. In fact, I think anyone letting their little on stay up past 8 is bordering on crazy lol. All the kids I know of personally whose parents let them stay up late (8, 830, 9:00) tend to be very cranky and whiny kids. When I see one neighbor walking around the block with her 6 and 3 year olds at 9pm at night, I always think "so THATs why your kids are always so miserable! Put them to bed!"
If you let your kid stay up late that's fine for you. But you can't extrapolate from that that having an early, regular bedtime is some sinister reason to suspect a mom of neglect, abuse, or otherwise harming her child.
3 - being drunk, or drinking to excess. Without knowing if this was a regular occurrence, how can we make a judgement about DB being a bad mother, or an immoral person, as I saw one poster somewhere say? Has no one here ever made a mistake? Yes, even when it comes to their kids? No one has ever done something and then said later, "wow, that was ridiculously stupid of me. Not gonna do that again!". Also, remember that some behavior is learned. DB might have grown up with it being normal for parents to socialize with drinks, with the kids home and about. I know mine did. I'm in my mid 30s, and my parents were pretty solid products of the 50s, so there was always lots of drinking, smoking, in my kitchen with friends and neighbors. Cocktails, beers, you name it (think Mad Men, but working class blue collar, not upper middle lol). Nothing bad ever happened, and nor was it seen as neglectful or abusive or abnormal. I had a great childhood, in fact! Of course, I can't ever remember mom or dad passing out or blacking out, but... :crazy:
Anyway, those are just a couple things I wanted to toss out there to give an alternative opinion on. Have been appreciating Most comments, but I do think, as someone earlier pointed out, there's a lot of glass houses sprouting up, and also a lot of ocusing in one some things that really just don't seem important, at least to me. :twocents:
Btw, apologies in advance for typos, I'm on the iPad and auto correct always manages to mess things up!
