John did not sexually abuse JonBenet

[Jayelles]

Someone claiming to be Kimberley Ballard posted at jameson's forum a few years ago. She denied the affair and claimed that the media misrepresented her. It's not certain whether it was the real Kimberley posting or one of the many hoaxes which have been played in this case.

She's not the blonde b*tch. You can read about the blonde b*tch on page 91 of Steve Thomas' book (paperback).

.....Her hair fell out, and for days she was only able to lie in bed exhausted. But she had immense drive to recover, partly, one friend would later say, to keep an unnamed "blond b1tch" down the steret from getting her husband....

 

[icedtea4me]

I don't think John was abusing her. He didn't abuse Beth or Melinda and wouldn't you think you could look to his past behavior. I'm leaning more towards Patsy, BR, or JAR. Also, if JR was sexually frustrated like I think he was, he would have gotten it from someone else. Patsy was threatened enough to mention the blonde down the street and he was away on a lot of trips. I never thought he abused her.

Since O.J. didn't stab his first wife, then would that mean he didn't stab Nicole or Ron, ellen? I don't think this was about John sexually molesting JonBenet in order to have his sexual needs met, but rather it was more of a warped form of bonding that initiated (the taboo line was crossed) when they were giving comfort to each other when Patsy had been so sick.

-Tea

 

[rashomon]

Since O.J. didn't stab his first wife, then would that mean he didn't stab Nicole or Ron, ellen? I don't think this was about John sexually molesting JonBenet in order to have his sexual needs met, but rather it was more of a warped form of bonding that initiated (the taboo line was crossed) when they were giving comfort to each other when Patsy had been so sick.

-Tea

I too think it is simplifying too much if one believes that a father would automatically abuse all his daughters (although this often happens). I know of a case in my neighborhood where a father had only abused the older daughter, but never the younger daughter, who was his favorite.

 

[Toltec]

If we go the John molesting JonBenet route....then that would explain why his bathrobe was found in the den???

Patsy catching John in the act, attempts to hit him but hits JonBenet instead.

 

[ellen13]

Since O.J. didn't stab his first wife, then would that mean he didn't stab Nicole or Ron, ellen? I don't think this was about John sexually molesting JonBenet in order to have his sexual needs met, but rather it was more of a warped form of bonding that initiated (the taboo line was crossed) when they were giving comfort to each other when Patsy had been so sick.

-Tea

well, icedtea, scott peterson didn't kill any of his previous girlfriends either. I mean we could debate this all day but my personal feeling is that john did not molest jbr. and why would he have a "warped" form of bonding with jbr and not with burke? who says people sexually abuse their kids when their spouses are dying? i'm sorry, i just don't buy it.

 

[ellen13]

Since O.J. didn't stab his first wife, then would that mean he didn't stab Nicole or Ron, ellen? I don't think this was about John sexually molesting JonBenet in order to have his sexual needs met, but rather it was more of a warped form of bonding that initiated (the taboo line was crossed) when they were giving comfort to each other when Patsy had been so sick.

-Tea

tea-
according to the jury, oj didn't stab ron and nicole.

 

[michelle]

tea-
according to the jury, oj didn't stab ron and nicole.

Oh Lord....:doh: Tell me another one.....

 

[twinkiesmom]

I'm not a professional...just have encountered many survivors.... they seem to gravitate to me.

I'm just not confident of acquitting John or anyone else of anything.

You have to realize that a molester starts out by gaining trust and creating intimacy. It doesn't normally start out as a violent attack when the molester is a friend or part of the family. A molestee could have been the favorite child and missed her father very much.

Does John seem so innocent because the PR/legal team is very good at what they do? Or is he really innocent?

 

[aussiesheila]

A molestee could have been the favorite child and missed her father very much.

From what I know of abusers a child is a favorite when the child meets the abusers needs. Being this type of favorite is not the same as being the favorite because you are adored for being yourself when the adoring adult is the type of person who meets your needs.

I think children instinctively know the difference although they can never put it into words and will never be comfortable or happy with being the favorite of an abuser. I believe an abused child would always feel less fearful and happier to have the abuser absent. I don't think there would be any reward for a child that would outweigh the hideousness of the experience of sexual abuse in the overwhelming majority of cases.

You probably have had a lot more experience with survivors than I have and might know of a case which proves me wrong. But until I see real evidence I don't believe it. JonBenet had too many other admirers and attention givers to be needy enough to want an abusive father back home even if he did make a fuss of her IMO. The fact that she so clearly missed him and so desperately wanted him back is IMO evidence that John was not abusing her.

 

[twinkiesmom]

A six year old being fondled does not know it is abuse. That awareness comes later.

 

[icedtea4me]

From what I know of abusers a child is a favorite when the child meets the abusers needs. Being this type of favorite is not the same as being the favorite because you are adored for being yourself when the adoring adult is the type of person who meets your needs.

I think children instinctively know the difference although they can never put it into words and will never be comfortable or happy with being the favorite of an abuser. I believe an abused child would always feel less fearful and happier to have the abuser absent. I don't think there would be any reward for a child that would outweigh the hideousness of the experience of sexual abuse in the overwhelming majority of cases.

You probably have had a lot more experience with survivors than I have and might know of a case which proves me wrong. But until I see real evidence I don't believe it. JonBenet had too many other admirers and attention givers to be needy enough to want an abusive father back home even if he did make a fuss of her IMO. The fact that she so clearly missed him and so desperately wanted him back is IMO evidence that John was not abusing her.

IMO, the essence of the sexual molestation of JonBenet by John is too psychologically complex for some to fully comprehend.(I find it difficult to call it abuse in this case as abuse, to me, would imply an intent to harm which, I feel was not in John.)

-Tea

 

[LinasK]

A six year old being fondled does not know it is abuse. That awareness comes later.

Ummm, when my uncle used to rub up against from behind when I was 4, I didn't know how to label it, but I knew it was wierd and wrong!

 

[LinasK]

abuse, to me, would imply an intent to harm -Tea

Not necessarily, I was molested by my uncle at 13. I don't think his intent was to harm me, but focused on the gratification of his own selfish sexual needs and poor impulse control, so he didn't think at the time how his actions were going to affect me.:behindbar

 

[twinkiesmom]

<<Ummm, when my uncle used to rub up against from behind when I was 4, I didn't know how to label it, but I knew it was wierd and wrong!>>

Your uncle didn't have psychological control of you and didn't frame his behavior in a context of a loving situation when it occurred. You knew it was weird and wrong because it didn't have a context.

The point I was trying to make is that in incest families, the psychological dysfunction is overwhelming...From the outside, they appear to be the perfect family, but if you know what clues to look for, it becomes really obvious how warped the family is.

 

[ellen13]

Oh Lord....:doh: Tell me another one.....

michelle,
i was trying to make a point. really , i don't think oj is innocent. don't worry.LOL
ellen

 

[sharpar]

<<Ummm, when my uncle used to rub up against from behind when I was 4, I didn't know how to label it, but I knew it was wierd and wrong!>>

Your uncle didn't have psychological control of you and didn't frame his behavior in a context of a loving situation when it occurred. You knew it was weird and wrong because it didn't have a context.

The point I was trying to make is that in incest families, the psychological dysfunction is overwhelming...From the outside, they appear to be the perfect family, but if you know what clues to look for, it becomes really obvious how warped the family is.

I dont think John was the abusive one either - not physically - he just went about his daily life without thinking or caring what was happening in his absence. JB wanted John at home to deter /calm/ handle the abusive parent.

 

[aussiesheila]

<<Ummm, when my uncle used to rub up against from behind when I was 4, I didn't know how to label it, but I knew it was wierd and wrong!>>

Your uncle didn't have psychological control of you and didn't frame his behavior in a context of a loving situation when it occurred. You knew it was weird and wrong because it didn't have a context.

The point I was trying to make is that in incest families, the psychological dysfunction is overwhelming...From the outside, they appear to be the perfect family, but if you know what clues to look for, it becomes really obvious how warped the family is.

So by this reasoning, which I completely agree with btw, Burke would not have come out from his 3 hour interview with the psychiatrist with flying colours.

 

[Solace]

Aussiessheila:

Yours is one way of looking at the abuse. Another is the following, she was a chronic bed wetter and in the last few months of her life had become a bed "soiler"; this is rare and something is very very wrong. Her hyman was broken and there was chronic and acute abuse (which is to say the abuse had happened the night of the murder and two or three days prior). Because JB cried for her father does not mean she was not abused; she doesn't quite know what is happening to her. I am sure her father, if he were the one doing it, was very good to her. All little girls love their fathers. This is the beginning stages of abuse. Also, Patsy tells the story of JB asking her mother who she loves the best and Patsy says "you". JB says to her "you are not supposed to love anyone more than Jesus. This could be a child repeating what she heard in church or it could be a child who is upset about the attention being given her.

Either way, she is wetting herself daily and at night she is now soiling the bed, classic symptons of child abuse.

hey, it is what it is.

 

[Solace]

IMO, the essence of the sexual molestation of JonBenet by John is too psychologically complex for some to fully comprehend.(I find it difficult to call it abuse in this case as abuse, to me, would imply an intent to harm which, I feel was not in John.)

-Tea

John may not have had it in him and the intent may not have been there, but if he is doing it, then he most certainly knows it is wrong because it was hidden and his reaction to this kind of thing today shows everyone how harmful he knows this is and how horrible.

By the way, if I may, abuse is not defined as intent to harm - abuse is hurting someone to satiate ones owns needs without thought or care to the person who is being harmed. That is my take on abuse. As an example a parent (a mother) can be abusive towards a child in that she is being too protective and isolating the child but thinking it is for the child's best interest but in actuality for her own comfort - with no intent to hurt but the child is being abused all the same because the child is not learning to socialilze and this can be very harmful but without intent. It is a form of abuse in a way..

Sexual abuse whether intended to harm OR NOT, is considered the lowest forms of assault in our society and in most societies. There is a reason for that. So John, if he is doing it, is well aware of the repercussions of his actions and is thoughtless - again if it is true.

 

[LinasK]

By the way, if I may, abuse is not defined as intent to harm - abuse is hurting someone to satiate ones owns needs without thought or care to the person who is being harmed.

Solace, that was exactly my point, well-put!

Not necessarily, I was molested by my uncle at 13. I don't think his intent was to harm me, but focused on the gratification of his own selfish sexual needs and poor impulse control, so he didn't think at the time how his actions were going to affect me.:behindbar

P.S. This is the same uncle who would rub up against me when I was 4 or 5 under the guise of getting my coat- a supposed "loving" act.