Kaine wishes the MFH plot would have gone through

[SurfieTX]

I think it's understandable that Kaine would feel this way. Hindsight is always better than foresight. I'm sure he's thinking of a lot of "what ifs." What if he had taken Kyron to school that morning? This sort of thing is natural for anyone to think about in the wake of a tragedy.

I agree. I guess what I didn't articulate well was that I wondered how he felt if he were dead that a 7 y/o would have fared any better against TH. And, as many have pointed out, he's understandably emotional and not making logical sense at this point (most likely), and is assuming that DY would have had custody of Kyron immediately and hence his "safety."

I guess in my "logical mind" I wouldn't dream of leaving my 2 kids with a person who wants me killed and had me killed...not for 2 New York minutes.

But, as I said, everyone else here has very valid points. I can't even begin to remotely fathom how one gets up every day not knowing where his/her 7 y/o is at...and FORGET about sleep. I'd be a raving lunatic.

 

[Leila]

It appears so (from the same linked article) http://blogs.wweek.com/news/2010/07...nes-feelings-about-decision-to-marry-stepmom/

"Desiree Young: I think that all of us in this case that’s close to Kyron, all of us feel guilty to a certain degree about what it is that we’re going to feel guilty about. … I’ve been told by my counselor it’s very healthy and normal. It doesn’t feel normal, it doesn’t feel healthy, but you know, I feel guilty I wasn’t here to protect him. And that’s our job is to protect our son, and I feel like I failed in that."

I'm sure that Desiree is experiencing the same guilt and thinking of all the "what ifs" that would have changed the way things turned out. It's very sad, but a natural thing for humans to experience.

 

[cakegirl0905]

I completely understand where this man is coming from. He's a bigger man than I'd be as I'd be heavily sedated somewhere. Or in jail.

I don't know how they do it. I would be in a mental ward. There is no way I could survive the pain of this-they are far stronger than me.

 

[Sherbie]

If that's the case, and it is to be believed she wanted Kaine dead, and in his stead chose to harm his child, what great harm could Kaine have perpetrated against Terri to get her to carry something like this off? If MFH wasn't gonna work, what the heck could have propelled her to go this far?

It doesn't make sense with the answers we've been given, and it surely doesn't make sense based in Kaine's guilt for not having protected Kyron to the point of wishing he'd been killed instead.

Although it's sometimes the case, there doesn't have to be a "great harm" perpetrated against someone in order for them to turn on someone who loves them and do unspeakable harm to them. We've seen that in too many cases, where a victim has done nothing at all or certainly nothing to warrant death.

I think from Kaine's perspective at this moment -- shock, terror, grief, desperation, disbelief, confusion -- what he said makes sense because, right now in his world, anything is possible. I mean, first his son disappears, then he learns his wife allegedly tried to have him killed. So even if he can't fully articulate or work out all the kinks in a theory, his mind is probably going all over the place wondering what else could have possibly been (or still is!) planned.

 

[evelyn24]

Because if he were dead, TH would not need to harm Kyron in any way. Kyron would still be alive and not with TH. It's called sacrificing his life for his son's life if he could. I don't know why this is so hard to understand.

And it's not a comment based on what we believe about Terri, but what KH believes about Terri. In that context, it makes perfect sense.

It's not hard to understand, but some don't like Kaine..period.
Anything he says is always "odd" or whatever.

I've been staying away from here because of this kind of thing. Kaine, as far as we know, is a complete victim along with Desiree.

I just wish there was a break in the case.

 

[ami]

My question is this; What was so wrong in this marriage that TMH felt she had to order a hit on him or make Kyron go away? What went on to lead up to this?

Psychotic acts are not always a reaction to something done to the perpetrator of the evil. Kaine didn't necessarily have to do anything to TH to provoke her. Do you think Kyron could have done something that made her snatch him or worse? Sometimes evil acts are committed simply because the person who does them is plain evil.

 

[evelyn24]

Many of you don't know this but I work in the funeral profession. Kaine's reaction is very normal when a child is lost or dies. I hear similar comments quite often. "Why didn't God take me and allow him/her to live". Similar statements. Kaine is not thinking about how life would be for Kyron if he wasn't there. He is feeling guilt and pain. He is in a sense grieving for what he fears has happened. It is a helplessness that he couldn't do anything about. And I'm pleased to hear he and Desiree have sought professional help.

Thank you and well put. It's very sad to hear what these two parents have been going through. You can tell it's been devastating.

 

[ami]

If that's the case, and it is to be believed she wanted Kaine dead, and in his stead chose to harm his child, what great harm could Kaine have perpetrated against Terri to get her to carry something like this off? If MFH wasn't gonna work, what the heck could have propelled her to go this far?

It doesn't make sense with the answers we've been given, and it surely doesn't make sense based in Kaine's guilt for not having protected Kyron to the point of wishing he'd been killed instead.

Why do you think Kaine did something to provoke it? People kill and harm without direct provocation all the time.

 

[Pondering Mind]

You're right, and we both know well one father in particular who expressed this very same sentiment and it has been used to indicate he's guilty .... of something.

Hi debs! Admittedly I have not read every post in this forum, but have been trying to keep up as best I can. I have to ask you... after posting with you for the past couple of years in several different forums here @WS and having the utmost respect for your opinion ALWAYS, it seems I'm finding myself on the opposite side of the fence of you for the first time regarding this case...

Since at least imo, lol..we are quite like minded in most cases in which we have posted..what am I missing here? Do you believe TH is innocent?..or just withholding judgment for now? Is KH on the radar for you? I want you to know that I ask this because I sincerely value your opinion and am honestly wondering if you are seeing something that I'm not..what am I missing? I've been wanting to ask you for the last couple of days, but didn't know how to word this to insure that you didn't feel that I was putting you on the spot ..prolly not doing a very good job now either. :blushing:..Pondering minds just really, really want to know, lol!..and fwiw, your opinions, speculations and theories hold much weight.. (to me anyway..

 

[~greeneyedgirl~]

Many of you don't know this but I work in the funeral profession. Kaine's reaction is very normal when a child is lost or dies. I hear similar comments quite often. "Why didn't God take me and allow him/her to live". Similar statements. Kaine is not thinking about how life would be for Kyron if he wasn't there. He is feeling guilt and pain. He is in a sense grieving for what he fears has happened. It is a helplessness that he couldn't do anything about. And I'm pleased to hear he and Desiree have sought professional help.

Thank you, you took the words out of my mouth
http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html

We are watching this unfold before our eyes...very very tragic, there are no words to comfort someone during a time like this.

 

[Pondering Mind]

I'm sure that Desiree is experiencing the same guilt and thinking of all the "what ifs" that would have changed the way things turned out. It's very sad, but a natural thing for humans to experience.

Leila, you are so right..and if they don't get professional help, those "what ifs" will rule the rest of their life as it has mine.

 

[STEADFAST]

Leila, you are so right..and if they don't get professional help, those "what ifs" will rule the rest of their life as it has mine.

Desiree, at least, is getting help. Here's more from the same interview:


Desiree Young: I think that all of us in this case that’s close to Kyron, all of us feel guilty to a certain degree about what it is that we’re going to feel guilty about. … I’ve been told by my counselor it’s very healthy and normal. It doesn’t feel normal, it doesn’t feel healthy, but you know, I feel guilty I wasn’t here to protect him. And that’s our job is to protect our son, and I feel like I failed in that. http://blogs.wweek.com/news/2010/07...s-about-decision-to-marry-stepmom/#more-51699
bbm

 

[scotslass]

I don't know how they do it. I would be in a mental ward. There is no way I could survive the pain of this-they are far stronger than me.

I feel the same but i know we both would find the strength somehow..just as they are.

I think they survive because they have to, they reach for hope. They have other children who depend on them and need them to be strong for them.

Then there is the fact that Kyron is gone. They know Kyron needs them to bring him home (alive or deceased). Their little boy deserves to be home.

It is all so incredibly sad and painful..

 

[JSR]

If that's the case, and it is to be believed she wanted Kaine dead, and in his stead chose to harm his child, what great harm could Kaine have perpetrated against Terri to get her to carry something like this off? If MFH wasn't gonna work, what the heck could have propelled her to go this far?

It doesn't make sense with the answers we've been given, and it surely doesn't make sense based in Kaine's guilt for not having protected Kyron to the point of wishing he'd been killed instead.

You're thinking this out in a rational manner. I suspect that Terri and rational don't equate. Clearly if what has been reported is indeed true who the HELL tries to kill their husband because they cheated on you? And hurt you emotionally by cheating? And it's also important to note that the alleged affair by Kaine is unsubstantiated to date. So again if what is reported to be true then Terri really DIDN'T have any legitimate (at least in HER mind) reason to have him killed. Although cheating on your spouse is morally reprehensible it's clearly no justification for death/murder.

Sometimes as rational normal human beings we tend to want to know the WHY factor. In this case, in my opinion Terri simple loathed Kaine and wanted him dead, hurt and completely destroyed. And in her mind at least she felt completely justified in attaining that goal by any and all means. She accomplished her goal at least in destroying Kaine. But also destroyed herself in the process.

ADDED: Also in light of the comments by Desiree that it was TERRI who broke up her marriage to Kaine- Terri really DOESN'T even have a leg to stand on regarding feeling "hurt" by an affair. If she could be woman enough to be an adulteress with a married man then she should be woman enough to deal when the tables are turned.

 

[ThoughtFox]

Many of you don't know this but I work in the funeral profession. Kaine's reaction is very normal when a child is lost or dies. I hear similar comments quite often. "Why didn't God take me and allow him/her to live". Similar statements. Kaine is not thinking about how life would be for Kyron if he wasn't there. He is feeling guilt and pain. He is in a sense grieving for what he fears has happened. It is a helplessness that he couldn't do anything about. And I'm pleased to hear he and Desiree have sought professional help.

My son is 20 years old and just attended a funeral for a friend who died in a car accident. Every young person there was thinking "why was it him and not me?" and the parents were blaming themselves although there was nothing in the world they could have done to stop it. I see this as part of the natural grieving process.

I have an aunt in her 90s who has outlived her two sons, and she often talks about how painful that is.

I can't imagine losing one of my kids suddenly and possibly forever - and they are much older than seven now so we've had many years to enjoy being with them. Kaine and Desiree are going to miss some wonderful years they could have had with Kyron and they know it. That pain won't ever go away.

 

[Tiki]

Many of you don't know this but I work in the funeral profession. Kaine's reaction is very normal when a child is lost or dies. I hear similar comments quite often. "Why didn't God take me and allow him/her to live". Similar statements. Kaine is not thinking about how life would be for Kyron if he wasn't there. He is feeling guilt and pain. He is in a sense grieving for what he fears has happened. It is a helplessness that he couldn't do anything about. And I'm pleased to hear he and Desiree have sought professional help.

I can attest that from personal experience. One can never imagine the pain of losing a child - it is unimaginable. In spite of receiving professional help, many of us are never able to move on.
I have said and done things since my son died which others do not understand. I don't expect them to. I give DY and KH credit for standing in front of cameras and talking about the case. I moved between bed and the couch for over a year.



.

 

[Pondering Mind]

Desiree, at least, is getting help. Here's more from the same interview:


Desiree Young: I think that all of us in this case that’s close to Kyron, all of us feel guilty to a certain degree about what it is that we’re going to feel guilty about. … I’ve been told by my counselor it’s very healthy and normal. It doesn’t feel normal, it doesn’t feel healthy, but you know, I feel guilty I wasn’t here to protect him. And that’s our job is to protect our son, and I feel like I failed in that. http://blogs.wweek.com/news/2010/07...s-about-decision-to-marry-stepmom/#more-51699
bbm

Thank goodness STEADFAST, hopefully everyone will..

Having been a 17 y/o 36 years ago when my oldest child died, it never occurred to me how the "what ifs" would affect me for life and even if I could afford help now, I wouldn't know where to start..this many years later. (I just accept the fact that I am crazy, lol! ) ..and as traumatic as it was, my circumstances didn't even compare to this situation. ..I just can't imagine the 'not knowing'...I just can't..

 

[debs]

You're thinking this out in a rational manner. I suspect that Terri and rational don't equate. Clearly if what has been reported is indeed true who the HELL tries to kill their husband because they cheated on you? And hurt you emotionally by cheating? And it's also important to note that the alleged affair by Kaine is unsubstantiated to date. So again if what is reported to be true then Terri really DIDN'T have any legitimate (at least in HER mind) reason to have him killed. Although cheating on your spouse is morally reprehensible it's clearly no justification for death/murder.

Sometimes as rational normal human beings we tend to want to know the WHY factor. In this case, in my opinion Terri simple loathed Kaine and wanted him dead, hurt and completely destroyed. And in her mind at least she felt completely justified in attaining that goal by any and all means. She accomplished her goal at least in destroying Kaine. But also destroyed herself in the process.

The murder for hire is unsubstantiated to date.

 

[curiousgirl2010]

"A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. But...there is no word for a parent who loses a child, that's how awful and unimagible the loss is!"

Says a lot.

 

[JSR]

The murder for hire is unsubstantiated to date.

That's why I said IF reports are true.

The OP pondered the reasons why Terri would do this if she is indeed responsible. I suspect that if she is then the MFH plot is connected to her motive.