Kara -- Mom of Lindsey's friend

[coastal]

I can't count the number of times I've heard that there's no 'right' way to grieve, and I'm pretty sure there won't be one for being a 'material witness', either, but when I try to imagine myself in KK's shoes, honestly, the last thing I'm doing is running to the internet to find a messageboard where I can spill my details to a bunch of faceless strangers. I'm wary, and scared out of my mind, and I am especially mistrustful of anonymity. There is no such thing as the kindness of strangers, now...because I know I did not disappear Lindsey, and I know no one I know did, either...which means a stranger, who probably pretended to be kind to her, must have done.

I have changed. My glass is not half full, my glasses are not rose-colored, and all those people I've never met have necessarily become potential predators, stalking and threatening what and who I love. I dare not seek them out!

It has been my habit to chat, and to trust, and to want to help my friends and neighbors, and it feels unnatural and wrong to keep my own counsel in this, but I know to my toes that life is changed in fundamental ways, and so am I.

And that's what my how-to book says, when I imagine the unthinkable. I don't expect KK's to be the same, but I don't like that hers is so different from mine.

She'd understand, I think, if she were me.

 

[Kimster]

Coastal, I like that. I'm good with it. Thanks so much! :blowkiss:

 

[Haddie McFaddies Mom]

I can't count the number of times I've heard that there's no 'right' way to grieve, and I'm pretty sure there won't be one for being a 'material witness', either, but when I try to imagine myself in KK's shoes, honestly, the last thing I'm doing is running to the internet to find a messageboard where I can spill my details to a bunch of faceless strangers. I'm wary, and scared out of my mind, and I am especially mistrustful of anonymity. There is no such thing as the kindness of strangers, now...because I know I did not disappear Lindsey, and I know no one I know did, either...which means a stranger, who probably pretended to be kind to her, must have done.

I have changed. My glass is not half full, my glasses are not rose-colored, and all those people I've never met have necessarily become potential predators, stalking and threatening what and who I love. I dare not seek them out!

It has been my habit to chat, and to trust, and to want to help my friends and neighbors, and it feels unnatural and wrong to keep my own counsel in this, but I know to my toes that life is changed in fundamental ways, and so am I.

And that's what my how-to book says, when I imagine the unthinkable. I don't expect KK's to be the same, but I don't like that hers is so different from mine.

She'd understand, I think, if she were me.

Thanks Coastal ~ I love what you wrote, and I especially love this:

"I don't expect KK's to be the same, but I don't like that hers is so different from mine."​