Kyron Horman's stepmother is a profile in contradictions....

[kimmera]

I think they are talking about the baby sign language that has become so popular. Signs for hungry, tired, mommy, daddy, etc. It helps pre-verbal babies communicate.

This is true. My daughter has done this with my 15 month old granddaughter. She makes the signs for 'more' and all finished' when she is eating. It is the cutest thing ever. :angel: However I am still failing to see how this would be particularly helpful to a child with a visual impairment, which is what seem to be implied in the article. :waitasec:

 

[wondering1]

I have a question about that, please. If anyone knows..

What's the deal with making a material misrepresentation (lying) to the court in a situation like that?
I mean, people could just make up the nastiest stuff ever to win custody and... ???

The article only touches on it like so:
By 1995, Horman's marriage to Tarver soured, with each accusing the other of infidelity. They divorced in November, and she gained custody of James, with Tarver agreeing to later pay child support.


Earlier, (in the Blended Family article?) we read only that Terri accused RT of cheating and that is why she initiated divorce (which doesn't make the above untrue).

So my question is, are there no consequences for completely making up something about your spouse and putting that in your court filing?

Typically, there are no serious consequences. imo The judges who hear family court matters tend to take it all with a grain of salt since they hear it every day, day in, day out. They know the parties are very emotional and angry at that point and will say all kinds of things that probably aren't true. If it happens enough, the judge will just tell the accuser to knock it off and/or impose some type of financial consequence -- like having to pay the opposing party's attorneys' fees to defend a baseless motion.

By the same token, in the case of serious allegations made by one spouse, they will try to get to the truth of the matter through *independent* experts like custody evaluators.

 

[eyes4crime]

I haven't finished the thread, but, I have to ask, why do you teach sign language to help someone communicate , who has trouble seeing ??

Sign language is usually for people with trouble hearing or speaking. :crazy:

Sign language is another way to enhance communication between human beings. IMO it's very important that babies have every opportunity to learn how to communicate...sign language is one more opportunity. moo

Kyron has vision problems, Terri was the one who got him glasses.

 

[Ada]

I think they are talking about the baby sign language that has become so popular. Signs for hungry, tired, mommy, daddy, etc. It helps pre-verbal babies communicate.

Aaah thank you! That was driving me nuts. No babies here, so I had no idea.

 

[pdx]

Typically, there are no serious consequences. imo The judges who hear family court matters tend to take it all with a grain of salt since they hear it every day, day in, day out. They know the parties are very emotional and angry at that point and will say all kinds of things that probably aren't true. If it happens enough, the judge will just tell the accuser to knock it off and/or impose some type of financial consequence -- like having to pay the opposing party's attorneys' fees to defend a baseless motion.

By the same token, in the case of serious allegations made by one spouse, they will try to get to the truth of the matter through *independent* experts like custody evaluators.

That's so amazing to me.. but I guess people will be people. I usually follow immigration law, and lying to an immigration officer/on an application is about one of the worst things a person can do (in terms of repercussions).

 

[wondering1]

That's so amazing to me.. but I guess people will be people. I usually follow immigration law, and lying to an immigration officer/on an application is about one of the worst things a person can do (in terms of repercussions).

Yes, it is amazing. Imo, the general mindset of the family court is that the best interests of the child are served by letting the parents bang their heads against the wall until they give up and are forced to get along. In many cases that is the best thing for the child, and the parents really are just dragging each other through the mud because they are hurt and angry. But that's not always the case, and it can be very frustrating that family courts do not take into account the absolute moral wrongness of a party's behavior. No-fault divorce has taken any moral accountability out of the equation entirely. It's just dollars and cents pursuant to a formual and, absent proven abuse of the child or an agreement otherwise, joint custody with a standard time split. People with no moral compass or conscience can and do take extreme advantage of the situation. jmoo

 

[SusieMom]

This was an interesting article.

What I see is a discontent woman who is searching for happiness. She tried so many completely different things, had so many different relationships, went through so many periods of nearly traumatic change... divorces, lawsuits etc... She seems not to be able to stick with any of them even though she's capable of working extremely hard to bring that change about. I think Terri has an emotional need for change, or rather to be in the process of changing. She's a change addict, so to speak, but with the kids and KH to look after, her previous lack of success with various career-establishing efforts, she's really out of luck. Nothing is going to change for her in the near term... everyday will be more of the same with no light at the end of the tunnel. Just more tunnel. I know that feeling, its very difficult to fake contenment.. no matter how badly you want to.

I've known many women in that situation, who are not content with their mothering roles and/or future prospects, who then choose to appease their need for change by living a "second life" primarily online but sometimes it becomes a real life thing as well. They continually flirt with the idea of being a walk-away wife and mother. Just leaving it all behind. They rarely actually do it, but keeping themselves in a postion where its a constant decision.. an always open door that you walk around and maybe sort of "try on" the idea of walking thru it every once in a while, helps them to feel less trapped, more alive and a little bit better able to cope.. I think its the fact that you are continously CHOOSING to stay makes you feel less like a trapped victim, does that make sense? Sometimes, this "fantasy" involves another person and usually someone relatively safe... in other words, someone you wouldn't EVER really leave your husband and kids for but you can pretend (to him and to yourself) that someday you might. I imagine it can be a difficult thing for the other involved person, to come to the realization that its all been a fantasy/game.

I think that's what she was doing with the MFH landscaper, I think any talk between them about a murder plot was part of her fantasy and not serious, I thinks its what she was doing with Mr. Cook and I think she had probably done it with others in between, or at least one other and that person will turn out to be the visitor to her truck on the morning of June 4th, but that's just MOO.. a theory, not supportable in any way whatsoever.

 

[kimmera]

I haven't seen anything about whether Desiree pays child support. It's unfair to assume she doesn't. The same as it's unfair to assume, with no indication that it's so, that Terri - or any parent - uses child support for themselves or any purpose other than the child's needs.

I agree, which brings me back to my original point that if Terri was using the child support for it's intended purpose, then it can not be considered HER INCOME. It also doesn't change the fact that shewas providing zero percent towards the financial support of her own child, while the two Dads shouldered the responsibility that should have been partially hers. :twocents: MOO.

 

[human]

It's reasonable to assume that she is operating under legal guidance. As the matter now stands, her chances of winning any custody issue are about as good as a snowball's in hell.

I have seen people with the most horrible of crimes get supervised visitation. I do not see why she could not get that.

The people go to a visitation center where professionals are right there supervising.

 

[kimmera]

Do we have any information regarding whether the adoptive dad- the dad, that is, actually attempted to see his son over the last few years? If he did, and he was refused by Terri and/or Kaine and/or James, there must be a legal record of that.

BTW, being HIV positive is not the same as having AIDS. At one time, it was believed that it would inevitably progress to AIDS, but there are currently many people who are HIV positive who have not developed AIDS. Magic Johnson, for example, has been HIV positive since at least 1991, and he has remained quite healthy. So it's possible that J's bio-dad has also been fortunate.

That is true. AIDS is the end stage of HIV infection, after the T-cells have dropped to very low levels and opportunistic infections take over the body. There have been a number of advances in treatment of HIV that can postpone the development of full-blown AIDS for many, many years, as in the case of Magic Johnson. However, the source provided said that Mr. Tarver was 'AIDS positive', NOT 'HIV positive'. As far as I know, full-blown AIDS is not reversible...but I am not a doctor, so I could be wrong about this. :twocents: MOO.

 

[Calliope]

How coincidental that neither of the men wanted to see J..apparently...

Out of curiosity....he had asked for his maintenance to be cut as he was paying so much..IF Terri had refused to let him see J or make excuses or anything ...if he was short of money could he have gotten lawyers at a reduced rate or anything?

Not sure if I'm reading your question correctly, but you can't reduce or stop child support just because the other parent is being difficult about visitation. They are separate issues.

Or are you asking if he could get legal aid? That does exist for people who can't afford an attorney. It's been pretty much the same everywhere I've lived; they adjust their fees based on income using a sliding scale.

This whole matter could have been cleared up had the reporter done their job and asked a couple of simple questions.

Did Terri refuse to allow you to see the boy?

If so (and even if NOT), did you ever pursue visitation as is your right as the father ?

 

[lost.in.pdx]

If nothing else, I think this article was beneficial for TH.

For the first time since Kyron went missing, I actually had hope that TH just hid him away or sent him somewhere; that he might actually come back home.

Then I re-read the timeline in the case; the missing hours, the cell phones, etc... and am not so optimistic anymore.

 

[For The Kids]

Not sure if I'm reading your question correctly, but you can't reduce or stop child support just because the other parent is being difficult about visitation. They are separate issues.

Or are you asking if he could get legal aid? That does exist for people who can't afford an attorney. It's been pretty much the same everywhere I've lived; they adjust their fees based on income using a sliding scale.

This whole matter could have been cleared up had the reporter done their job and asked a couple of simple questions.

Did Terri refuse to allow you to see the boy?

If so (and even if NOT), did you ever pursue visitation as is your right as the father ?

I meant would he qualify for legal aid yes. I wasnt sure whether you had that over there or not.

And yes I agree about the4 questions.

 

[Aedrys]

Just wanted to say that this article reminds me very much of some people I know. They can't seem to stay committed to anything, don't have a whole lot of ambition (and believe me, certification just about guarantees you a teaching job, or at least good tutoring jobs. I know this because I haven't gotten my certification since it's expensive to do so in Oklahoma, but there were so many jobs I could have had if I wanted to get certified. I don't believe for a minute that there wasn't a job out there for her, at least a tutoring job if she really wanted one. Certification is the golden ticket to teaching and tutoring jobs, at least it is in Oklahoma), have little to no boundaries and real respect for other people, and seem like these great but highly unlucky people when they really aren't.

Also, the book shelf thing REALLY got to me because I know had that been her bookshelf out in the rain, there probably would have been endless complaining about the injustice done against her, but she does it, and it's like, what? This wasn't okay to do? I know people EXACTLY like that and they drive me crazy. Also, I am a book lover and was positively LIVID that she couldm't take the time to at least put the books in a dang box and keep them indoors. I mean, SHEESH! Would that have been so freaking hard to do? That was a TOTAL lack of respect and boundaries there.

I can see that this is also a person that is just fine, even GREAT if she's in control and everything is going her way. I've also know people like that. They're nice and you get along with them if things are totally their way. But the second that changes, it's like a dragon is unleashed and they try to destroy you and make you feel like the worst person ever. I have the feeling TH is a LOT like that, which is why people have such a hard time with how nice she was and how she was with kids. Well yeah, she has a lot more control over kids, so why WOULDN'T she be great with young beings that she could totally have control over? And as long as that control was there and everything was her way, I can see her being popular and well liked. It was only when things didn't go her way that other people paid a price, it seems. Her ex dared to ask for a reduction in child support, so guess what, she tripled it! Her son wasn't getting along with her, so guess what, he's living elsewhere! Her two exes weren't what she wanted or she got tired of them, so guess what, she moved on in about five seconds it seemed. The degree didn't work out the way she planned, so guess what, no more working or trying to get a job. She just picks up and moves on when something doesn't go her way or gets out of her control.

Makes me wonder if Kyron just wouldn't do things her way, and was out of her control so much that he paid the ultimate price for it. After all, she wasn't done with Kaine and therefore didn't want to move on from him yet, but I'm betting she didn't want to be Kyron's caretaker anymore either and he was probably getting in the way of her plans for Kaine, I'm sure. Reminds me of Casey Anthony, who actually was going to kill her parents for their house, but Caylee became more of an urgent problem, and so she ended up killing Caylee instead of her parents.

All of this is MOO, of course.

 

[Kat010]

Just wanted to say that this article reminds me very much of some people I know. They can't seem to stay committed to anything, don't have a whole lot of ambition (and believe me, certification just about guarantees you a teaching job, or at least good tutoring jobs. I know this because I haven't gotten my certification since it's expensive to do so in Oklahoma, but there were so many jobs I could have had if I wanted to get certified. I don't believe for a minute that there wasn't a job out there for her, at least a tutoring job if she really wanted one. Certification is the golden ticket to teaching and tutoring jobs, at least it is in Oklahoma),...(clip)

.

Actually, I live in OK. I know the process. And I also know that many good teachers have been laid off. I also know that teaching jobs and tuturing jobs are not that easy to come by.

Here's a list of 299 teaching jobs, including college level, open across the entire state in OK right now:

http://www.teachers-teachers.com/oklahoma/viewOklahomaJobs.cfm

Note: TH had worked as a substitute in years past.

 

[kimmera]

Actually, I live in OK. I know the process. And I also know that many good teachers have been laid off. I also know that teaching jobs and tuturing jobs are not that easy to come by.

Here's a list of 299 teaching jobs, including college level, open across the entire state in OK right now:

http://www.teachers-teachers.com/oklahoma/viewOklahomaJobs.cfm

Note: TH had worked as a substitute in years past.

this is all very interesting to me, because here in maryland, on the east coast, just the opposite is true. for all that might be affected, there is a SEVERE teacher shortage here. I know this because my own daughter is an elementary teacher and my son, the former Marine Corps Sargeant, is working towards that as well, and they have had no issue finding jobs in the education arena. :twocents: MOO...

 

[Kat010]

this is all very interesting to me, because here in maryland, on the east coast, just the opposite is true. for all that might be affected, there is a SEVERE teacher shortage here. I know this because my own daughter is an elementary teacher and my son, the former Marine Corps Sargeant, is working towards that as well, and they have had no issue finding jobs in the education arena. :twocents: MOO...

Interesting, indeed.

So it's obvious--what things are like in OK, MD, TN, NY, AZ, isn't necessarily what things are like in Portland. Different town, different job market.

 

[kimmera]

Interesting, indeed.

So it's obvious--what things are like in OK, MD, TN, NY, AZ, isn't necessarily what things are like in Portland. Different town, different job market.

Apparently so! I will make sure to tell both of my kids to cross Portland, OR OFF of their lists for potential job markets for themselves. Thanks for the info! So, from what you are saying, even if their background check came back clear of things like, say....DUI/CHILD ENDANGERMENT they would still NOT be able to get a job as a teacher??? That's really interesting to me because it seems to be just the OPPOSITE in every other area in America. To quote George Clooney, in 'Oh Brother Where Art Thou', 'well ain't this just a GD geographical oddity?' Personally, I think that TH couldn't find a teaching job because...SHE DIDN'T WANT ONE!!!! It would cut into her Facebook time (and you know she HAD to take care of that CYBER farm, right), her sexting time, her hiring a hitman time, etc...:twocents: MOO...

 

[pufnstuf]

Sounds fair to me. Maybe now that she has no income she can relinquish her rights and let Tarver and his wife adopt J. :dance:

That won't happen. That would cut out $550/mo in child support that Terri is receiving. Wonder if that child support is being passed on to the Tarvers?

If I were Richard Ecker, I'd approach the court and ask for a change to my child support order.

 

[pufnstuf]

Didn't Terri claim to be a reading specialist on her linked in profile? Can't really remember, but...

There's an opening for a reading specialist in PPS right now. With most general, basic-license teaching jobs filled for the 10/11 school year, this seems right up her alley. What a stroke of good luck for her.

https://employment.pps.k12.or.us/at...OMPANY_ID=00002736&APPLICANT_TYPE_ID=00000001