Kyron Horman's stepmother is a profile in contradictions....

[21merc7]

Is there any evidence by anyone other than the email that Kyron was even spacing out? And for that matter has it been confirmed there was even a Drs appointment about it?

Not yet, still waiting, so it is a non-topic?

 

[For The Kids]

Not yet, still waiting, so it is a non-topic?

Ofr course not I was just curious because you was stating it like it was fact thats all and i thought I had missed some articles thats all

 

[human]

I don't see it that way. She was doing what she could, she even taught him sign language. That indicates she may have worried not only about vision, but hearing. She also was worried about him spacing out, and, it has been said, not sure if reported, she did set an appointment for him to be checked for possible seizure activity, not big seizure, but the little mind ones that do not kill you, just space you. So, I think she was doing what she could, all she could.

ETA: Also, the learning to sign language, my daughter and I had our own special language for times of distress that no one else knew. Just us, we still use it as endearing.

I agree that teaching sign language is a good idea because it uses several parts of the brain. Just like learning music and a foreign language increasing brain capacities in many ways.

However, where I live and I imagine it's true all over the US, teaching sign language to babies is the new "in" thing to do. It has been for quite a few years.

Parents learn that if they go to any kind of preschool or early childhood programs. We even have early childhood teachers that teach right in the hospital when a child is born.

 

[TrY]

My questions from the article:

1. What's happened to the money that Terri got from the lawsuit for the failed restaurant franchise?

2. Did Terri get an insurance settlement for the auto accident? If so, how much was it and does she have any of that money left?

3. Does Kaine have a fatherly relationship with his former stepson Q (Desiree's older son)?

4. Is Kaine really that good with looking after his own money even though he's complaining about Terri's overspending? A vacation to Disney World and Israel aren't cheap. Terri's Mustang and his Ford truck look pretty new (were they bought new?) and a home bought in 2007 was likely bought at the top of the housing market before the real estate bust. Is he upside down in his mortgage? Add to that a new baby that he wasn't planning for -- maybe the financial situation wasn't so rosy. Does Kaine get child support for Kyron from Desiree?

Maybe he does get paid well by Intel but I wonder if he's in quite a bit of debt? In the divorce papers he wants child support from Terri.

Another topic that I've also wondered about from this and other articles is whether Kyron is ADD/ADHD? I also wondered that when I watch the videoclip of Kyron performing at the school concert the ~Happy Days Are Here Again~ whistling one.

Kyron Horman Home Videos released June 24, 2010

http://www.youtube.com/user/KATUCommunities#p/search/1/kuEgFMWh_So

 

[21merc7]

Ofr course not I was just curious because you was stating it like it was fact thats all and i thought you had missed some articles thats all

Oh, thanks, I was trying to say not reported, but discussed. I am not good at this stuff. If no link, it is just my fingers talking. Thank you for pointing that out!

 

[mydailyopinions]

You get the appointment with the specialist when you can. He was not in danger, it was a suggestion by his regular doctor, not a diagnosis, a referral.

Also, the learning to sign language, my daughter and I had our own special language for times of distress that no one else knew. Just us, we still use it as endearing.

Maybe it is all a coincidence of some sorts that the appointment was made the day before he went missing. I suppose if we could hear from one of the teachers who could confirm that he was having these problems in school, I would most certainly understand..

I have a special way of connecting with my children while they are on the baseball field..no one else understands but the 3 of us. (Except for the bathroom sign..lol I had to let the coach in on that one..ya know..just in case) endearing indeed.

 

[human]

why does Terri scare me? I am thinking that she is a liar because of what she said on her Linked profile, the fact that DY and TH said she is, and the fact that her friend Jaymie Finster said that the teacher was new, which is absolutely not true and Terri would know that.

If one is in a relationship with a liar, then one does not know when that person will lie about me for some reason.

 

[debirlfan]

I think most people would consider it a punishment. If she was stopping him from playing with his toys...or watching a movie or putting him in a room on his own apart from his family...then yes she punishing him. Personally I cant help but wonder if she sent him to his room to make she he didnt get any attention from Kaine.

Jmo

I find it hard to believe he has no toys in his room. Perhaps what she was actually doing was banning him from video games and tv - and it seems every day I read an article claiming that video games/tv/computers are the reason why kids today have such short attention spans. Maybe she just wanted him away from those distractions?

And as I've said before - I'm not sure how much of it I actually believe. That info came from Kaine, who isn't exactly an impartial observer. Even in the case of a simple divorce, both parents often paint the other as the "bad guy" - and with the supposed mfh and Kyron missing, this case certainly is going to generate more bad feelings than a divorce would.

 

[Herding Cats]

IIRC Terri accused the first husband of having a horrible illness that he " miraculously " recovered from. Maybe as much as he loved his son he didnt want to have any contact with her at all so agreed to let husband number 2 adopt.

(do you have a link? This is the first I've heard about a horrible illness and miraculous recovery...)

Maybe, but that's still his choice to sever the rights. No one can "make" anyone do something like that, unless it's a court...and they don't do that too often, either. Shoot, we see it all the time - people who should have their rights to parenting taken away get their kids back, right?

Best-
Herding Cats

 

[For The Kids]

I find it hard to believe he has no toys in his room. Perhaps what she was actually doing was banning him from video games and tv - and it seems every day I read an article claiming that video games/tv/computers are the reason why kids today have such short attention spans. Maybe she just wanted him away from those distractions?

And as I've said before - I'm not sure how much of it I actually believe. That info came from Kaine, who isn't exactly an impartial observer. Even in the case of a simple divorce, both parents often paint the other as the "bad guy" - and with the supposed mfh and Kyron missing, this case certainly is going to generate more bad feelings than a divorce would.

To be honest to me its irrelevant if he had toys in his room or not. She was isolating a 7 yr old child from his family for no real reason. How many nights was that poor child sent to his room on his own while he could hear the others having fun without him? No wonder he cried at Desirees when he had to go back to that kind of life style.

 

[Herding Cats]

snip...
1. What's happened to the money that Terri got from the lawsuit for the failed restaurant franchise?

2. Did Terri get an insurance settlement for the auto accident? If so, how much was it and does she have any of that money left?

I am wondering if that's where the money to pay Houze came from...

Best-
Herding Cats

 

[Kat010]

I so, soooo agree with you here! Her multiple marriages and moving her son around show she doesn't hold much attachment. If she had a hand in Kyrons disappearance, this could definitely be some insight about why.

Her dettachment, erratic and controlling behavior, inability to commit and self-centeredness are certainly red flags. I'd love to hear what a psychiatrist has to say about all of this.

One thing that jumped out to me immediately, though, was the lack of stability for the kids. All these kids with so many "parents", being shuffled around . . . . very sad. Hope they all grow up to be healthy, happy, well-adjusted adults.

Whoaaaaa Nellie. In this entire "family" group, there's a lot of multiple marriages. Starting with DY with 3. May I then say that obviously, DY doesn't hold much attachment and has an inability to commit? How about KH having an affair with TH while he was living with his very pregnant wife? How about a woman who got kidney failure from using a non-FDA approved drug? Be careful, that sword cuts both ways.:waitasec:

Link, please, for detachment. In this very thread I see people finding that she was *too* involved with kyron. As for "erratic and controlling" behavior, who's diagnosed that? Yea, I personally think that her sexting was incredibly tacky, low-class, stupid, and erratic, but I also don't know if that was unusual behavior. Nor do I know if, for instance, any of the other parents in this mess behaved in a way of which I would disapprove, nor do I know if say, rumors about KH and another relationship are true. None of us do. But I think it's only fair to ask--if KH does have an intimate friendship, is he then erratic? Would actual sex, say, be as bad as sexting?

I'm not sure how to define self-centeredness here. She repeatedly comes across as spending lots of time with the kids, volunteering at school, noticing when Kyron needs something (those glasses, for one) and as running what, from the pictures, seems to be a very clean and well-organized household.

The fact (I'm referring to earlier posts here) that she tried and abandoned bodybuilding--so what? Someone got her interested and enthused. Tried it, not her cup of tea. Let's see, I play piano, guitar, and have also experimented with the recorder and the harp. Do I have a psychological problem because I didn't continue on with say, years of lessons in any of the instruments other than the piano? I took voice lessons at one point and concluded that I was better off as a faithful symphony supporter. (And so was the world, truthfully!)

I'm getting very antsy about all the diagnosis of TH as a sociopath, or a this or that. If we're going to hand out diagnoses, then I say let's diagnose everyone in this mess, because the dynamics of everyone's lives and their interactions may have contributed to this. Unless, of course, it's a pedophile grabbing Kyron, in which case the personal lives of all make no difference. None of these people are ready to push Julie Andrews out of the way and play the starring role in "The Sound of Music." Very few people are.

Meanwhile, where's Kyron?

 

[For The Kids]

(do you have a link? This is the first I've heard about a horrible illness and miraculous recovery...)

Maybe, but that's still his choice to sever the rights. No one can "make" anyone do something like that, unless it's a court...and they don't do that too often, either. Shoot, we see it all the time - people who should have their rights to parenting taken away get their kids back, right?

Best-
Herding Cats

I have no idea where to find the link now...I just know it was in some documents linked on here sometime ago. She had made some allegations about his use of needles etc. Grrr maybe BeanE would know where to find it?

 

[cypress]

I hope I'm not double posting. I was trying to post earlier and lost it.

I have a hard time reconciling the Kaine completely oblivious about his wife's PPD, what medication she'd taken in the past and if she is still taking it, and if she still has PPD, with the Kaine in possession of the emotional wherewithal to finesse a successful discussion about his wife's weight.

Some take any little criticism of Kaine as bashing. If Terri's responsible, the dynamics between her and Kaine are important, not as a way to excuse anything she may have done but certainly as a way to understand it.

On another note, I think most of us have probably done things that could be construed as selfish or hurtful. There's nothing in any of these stories that screams sociopath. Terri seems organized, thoughtful at times and selfish at other times, a good mom struggling to come up with a way to deal with a child who was having behavioral problems (Kyron), and the list goes on. It's all so painfully normal, IMHO. Most parents disagree with other parents about how to raise children (I would NEVER do that!), but at the end of the day, sometimes you find what works. Kyron is a charming child, but that doesn't mean he was perfect. He could've been a handful. Obviously, and before anyone accuses me of saying something I'm not, nothing Kyron did, even in his worst moment, would justify someone, anyone harming him, but I don't think the normal pains of parenting should be used against Terri.

We only ever hear one side of the story, and often that side is contradictory at best, and often Kaine presents the side that shows him in the most favorable light. This hasn't only happened with Terri, either.

I guess I'm just tired of all this peripheral information. It's not helping find Kyron. It's not smoking gun information. A lot of it isn't based on facts. IMHO, most people's lives wouldn't survive the microscope, even other players in this awful, sad story.

 

[debirlfan]

Ok, 14 pages into this, I'm surprised nobody has brought this up...

What was behind the sudden fanatical interest in body building?

Now, I've known folks who've suddenly "gotten religion" and started eating healthy and heavily working out - but it's usually something like running, cycling - even weight lifting - but not competitive body building.

Did she do it on a bet or a dare? Was it to get Kaine's (or someone else's) attention? To be honest, I don't think that a lot of people find that "look" to be attractive (especially on a woman).

Whatever she was after - it appears that either it was a short term thing (like a bet), or else it did not achieve the desired reaction, because she quickly gave it up.

 

[Kat010]

To be honest to me its irrelevant if he had toys in his room or not. She was isolating a 7 yr old child from his family for no real reason. How many nights was that poor child sent to his room on his own while he could hear the others having fun without him? No wonder he cried at Desirees when he had to go back to that kind of life style.

I go and be a good girl and get my mammogram, and some knee x-rays, and come back to find--more discussions about parenting styles.

Frankly, I don't think parenting styles have anything to do with Kyron's disappearance, but that's just me. And if someone was whomping that kid with a belt, I'd say differently.

But if a parent is using a "time out" or, as Dr. Phil recommends, removing the goodies of life when the basic requirements haven't been met, I don't see abuse or a problem. What I do see--and this is a general comment, not specific to any post--is a society in which we have far too many hedonistic kids with no self-discipline and tons of bratty behavior for which parents do nothing because, of course, they don't wish to interfere with their "actualization" or some such.

Bottom line: parents have the responsibility of paying attention to their childrens' successes and their problems, and the responsiblity to take action to help fix problems as well as support successes (like, say, the work for a science fair). And truly, putting a child in his/her room is *not* the equivalent of poor Oliver Twist pitifully asking for "more gruel."

My older brother and I wound up confined to quarters one night during basketball semifinals. We earned it, and we learned our lesson. He may have missed the games, and I may have gotten in big trouble for serving as the counsel for his defense and being so sassy that I also wound up in my quarters, but overall, it did us no harm and a lot of good. And we didn't have TVs, radios, computer games, etc. We had books and homework, and any hobbies we were working on. We spend the evening tapping messages to each other on the wall, like poor little pitiful felons in a dungeon.

And we never pulled the stunts we'd pulled that night again.

 

[Ellebelle]

Conflicting reports regarding the disciplining at school.

June 25 KGW Full Raw Interview -5:05

Kaine: We've had some concerns...

Desiree: Yeah.

Kaine: ...along with his teacher around listening to instructions from adults while at school.

So we've been working with him to try to understand that we need to work with the faculty there, the parents there, the volunteers there to make sure that when they give him instructions he's following those.

He normally does a very good job at doing that. Just occasionally we get a little bit of that behavior so we've really reinforced with him that if you're at school and you're working with a parent or a teacher, you need to follow their instructions.

So in that particular environment he would be expected to follow the instructions of an adult...

Desiree: Yeah.

Kaine: ...at school. Outside of school he's very well versed in the stranger danger and everything else, but in that one particular setting that's the type of behavior that's been reinforced through all of us.

Desiree: Yeah.



Note: Desiree nods affirmatively throughout this whole thing.


http://www.kgw.com/video/featured-videos/Raw-Kyrons-parents-full-interview-97177194.html


Funny how things have changed.

Bold and red by me......this is a very important part of this conversation because Kaine is saying "occasionally". Seriously.....many occasions, especially in school if a teacher doesn't take control it's hard for many to listen, IMO!

 

[Kat010]

I hope I'm not double posting. I was trying to post earlier and lost it.

I have a hard time reconciling the Kaine completely oblivious about his wife's PPD, what medication she'd taken in the past and if she is still taking it, and if she still has PPD, with the Kaine in possession of the emotional wherewithal to finesse a successful discussion about his wife's weight.

Some take any little criticism of Kaine as bashing. If Terri's responsible, the dynamics between her and Kaine are important, not as a way to excuse anything she may have done but certainly as a way to understand it.

On another note, I think most of us have probably done things that could be construed as selfish or hurtful. There's nothing in any of these stories that screams sociopath. Terri seems organized, thoughtful at times and selfish at other times, a good mom struggling to come up with a way to deal with a child who was having behavioral problems (Kyron), and the list goes on. It's all so painfully normal, IMHO. Most parents disagree with other parents about how to raise children (I would NEVER do that!), but at the end of the day, sometimes you find what works. Kyron is a charming child, but that doesn't mean he was perfect. He could've been a handful. Obviously, and before anyone accuses me of saying something I'm not, nothing Kyron did, even in his worst moment, would justify someone, anyone harming him, but I don't think the normal pains of parenting should be used against Terri.

We only ever hear one side of the story, and often that side is contradictory at best, and often Kaine presents the side that shows him in the most favorable light. This hasn't only happened with Terri, either.

I guess I'm just tired of all this peripheral information. It's not helping find Kyron. It's not smoking gun information. A lot of it isn't based on facts. IMHO, most people's lives wouldn't survive the microscope, even other players in this awful, sad story.

Worth repeating. Great post.

 

[BeanE]

I have no idea where to find the link now...I just know it was in some documents linked on here sometime ago. She had made some allegations about his use of needles etc. Grrr maybe BeanE would know where to find it?

I never heard this one. Sorry.

ETA: I just found this:

The former bodybuilder is twice divorced. Her first marriage ended amid allegations of adultery. In 1998 she filed a restraining order against her first husband citing his drug use saying:"No parenting time due to use of meth, use of needles, was AIDS positive, then said he's negative now."

http://www1.whdh.com/news/articles/national/12001604928232/

 

[citigirl]

I also see nothing to suggest that little Kyron was a "disciplinary problem." The big issue with this to me, if this is true, is that TH suddenly became very focused on Kyron's behavior, wanting daily reports and daily punishment for less than perfect behavior. If Kyron had been getting a stream of bad reports from school I could understand that. But I have not heard that. The article suggests, IMO, that Kyron was a normal child but TH began to expect perfect.
This seems to coincide somewhat with her son being made to leave the home and with TH being cranky with her baby girl. I just see a change here. It likely would mean nothing if it were not for the fact that a little boy in her care vanished into thin air.

ETA to add quote from article: "She changed her behavior towards all of us," he said. "She would lose her patience with both" J and Kyron.

"With K it started out much easier at the beginning," he said, but as the months went on, he saw his wife become angry, for example, when the baby wouldn't go to sleep.

I believe this punitive behavior goes along with Terri's obsession with appearance. She may have felt that Kyron's misbehavior at school would keep her from being considered for a FT teaching job.

As a teacher I think that her response was much too harsh. A yellow card in our house was cause for a long, stern conversation with dad and me. I cannot imagine confining a 7 year old to his room for the whole evening, let alone repeated evenings. That is the behavior of a parent who does not want to deal with her kid.