LA - Police officer's twins, 3, both dead in truck outside family home, Bossier City

[Zuri]

I pray this was not intentional and the mother can get the help she needs from the sounds of things. How lucky are those of us who have family members and friends that are willing to step in when they recognize something is wrong. IMO

 

[bluesneakers]

You see red flag. I see lazy. I don't know yet which is correct. I just know that with post-partum depressions, regular depression, alcoholism, etc. etc. etc. we have a plethora of excuses that seem to sound so much better than lazy.

Illnesses aren't excuses. Being depressed isn't being lazy, Afaik we have no reason to judge her as a lazy slob or as diagnose her as someone suffering from depression or PPD. It's all speculation, but equating actual illnesses with laziness and bad housekeeping skills is victim-unfriendly at best, offensive at worst.

 

[bluesneakers]

I pray this was not intentional and the mother can get the help she needs from the sounds of things. How lucky are those of us who have family members and friends that are willing to step in when they recognize something is wrong. IMO

Me too. And whatever help she need weeks or months ago - she's going to need a lot more know. JMO

 

[Gigi-G]

The family have had an awful few weeks. What with the eldest having been rushed to hospital. The endless worries of that the too-ing and fro-ing from hospital sitters home yada yada yada. Its tough going.
They seem like a normal everyday couple. Hard working daddy. And a mommy whos obviously kept on her toes. We all fizzle out now and again.
I appreciate that things have happened with the twins. But none of us know the surrounding issues. N both mom n dad are obviously gonna be heartbroken.
I just wanna send a lil love. A lil peace and light. To help them out of the darkness.
And hope they get all the help n support they need.
Namastè the Orr family ♡☆

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[carbuff]

Thank you so much for that lovely thought, Gigi...

 

[LietKynes]

<modsnip>

I, too, feel very sad that two little lives were lost. It's difficult to have sympathy for their parent.
Maybe that's wrong, idk.

Why did she not call a sitter ?
If she was struggling with illness, depression or even just laziness -- it would have been better for her to consider respite foster care ; she could have just picked up her phone and called cps and explained she couldn't care for them and needed to sleep.
At least Oliver and Aria would be alive.
:moo:

 

[Gigi-G]

Thank you so much for that lovely thought, Gigi...

Its the least i can do from over the water.


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[Gigi-G]

RSBM

I, too, feel very sad that two little lives were lost. It's difficult to have sympathy for their parent.
Maybe that's wrong, idk.

Why did she not call a sitter ?
If she was struggling with illness, depression or even just laziness -- it would have been better for her to consider respite foster care ; she could have just picked up her phone and called cps and explained she couldn't care for them and needed to sleep.
At least Oliver and Aria would be alive.
:moo:

I can see what yr saying. And there could be a hundred reasons why she felt she couldn't ask someone.
We're assuming scenarios here. But we dont know the reasons behind what happened. Mom could of fallen ill. Didnt realise. Whichever reason. Theres 2 more lil Angels gained their wings. N mom n dad are im sure devastated.
Im sure what happened n everything will become clearer in the fullness of time.
But mom n dad need help very much now. And the twins' big bro too.
Peace n light &#9734;

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[Yvettea]

I feel just terrible. I had it mixed up. Thought it was a twin who just came home from the hospital. What a shame that Mom and Dad would have to ask for help. I wish someone would have offered. This all may not have come to pass.

 

[carbuff]

If you haven't been in the grip of severe postpartum depression, it's all but impossible to imagine how paralyzed you can become. There were times when if the house had caught fire, I would have sat there and watched it burn me and the baby up because I could not, literally physically could not, summon enough will to move, let alone make a phone call.

(Note, not saying she necessarily has depression of any kind, but it wouldn't surprise me.)

 

[Gigi-G]

I feel just terrible. I had it mixed up. Thought it was a twin who just came home from the hospital. What a shame that Mom and Dad would have to ask for help. I wish someone would have offered. This all may not have come to pass.

No it was the eldest. And to loose 2 sweet angels in one. Must be the hardest pain ever. Yeah. If only something was said. But circumstances and things. Hind sight is a wonderful thing.
The thing right now is to help mom dad n sibling. Whatever and however. *prayers*

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[Gigi-G]

If you haven't been in the grip of severe postpartum depression, it's all but impossible to imagine how paralyzed you can become. There were times when if the house had caught fire, I would have sat there and watched it burn me and the baby up because I could not, literally physically could not, summon enough will to move, let alone make a phone call.

(Note, not saying she necessarily has depression of any kind, but it wouldn't surprise me.)

I lost mine in a late ectopic. Placed on a maternity ward... after 2 operations in as many days. Listening to babies cry.
You hit a brick wall eventually. And dont know what to do. I was on morphine for a good while. Helped. But meh.
Depression is so often mis diagnosed.

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[carbuff]

I lost mine in a late ectopic. Placed on a maternity ward... after 2 operations in as many days. Listening to babies cry.
You hit a brick wall eventually. And dont know what to do. I was on morphine for a good while. Helped. But meh.
Depression is so often mis diagnosed.

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What a tragic situation. My condolences on your loss.

I had late-onset PPD--my son was about three when it hit out of nowhere. Back then nobody knew anything about it. It was the grace of God and the love of Mr. Carbuff that kept me from being the subject of one of the threads in here. Yeah, brick wall. I just about walked out with nothing but a gym bag with my street clothes and an umbrella.

 

[MzOpinion8d]

I've been a single mom of 4 kids for 12 years. I have had to pay everyone who has watched my kids for me - including my family members. I have heard criticism over the state of my house over and over again. I hear criticism over my parenting skills and my kids' behavior. And I hear nobody offering me help, ever. It's unfortunately very possible that this woman had no one to call to ask for help.

 

[flourish]

RSBM

I, too, feel very sad that two little lives were lost. It's difficult to have sympathy for their parent.
Maybe that's wrong, idk.

Why did she not call a sitter ?
If she was struggling with illness, depression or even just laziness -- it would have been better for her to consider respite foster care ; she could have just picked up her phone and called cps and explained she couldn't care for them and needed to sleep.
At least Oliver and Aria would be alive.
:moo:

I used to believe child services were there to help families. I used to regularly encourage parents to go to them for help. I was so naive and stupid. They're the last people I'd recommend parents go for help now.

It's easy to say "get a babysitter" when we don't have to find a babysitter, make sure they're vetted (because how many times have we heard about parents leaving their kids with babysitters who hurt them), schedule them, have money to pay them, and a partner who is supportive of hiring a babysitter.

Perhaps mom was ill. Perhaps one of the children was ill or for some other reason she didn't get much sleep the night before. Perhaps mom suffers from depression.

Instead of jumping right to "lazy," my mind first goes to all those other things that may have factored in before I jump right over to lazy. I like to give pe
A. ople the same benefit of the doubt that I appreciate being given. Accidents do happen. If evidence comes to light which indicates more or if the investigation shows negligence then sure. But I'll withhold judgement.


Now to my semi off topic rant:

I suffer from lifelong depression. I've had pharmacists question me when I filled my anti-depressant without insurance. I asked if they ask their uninsured diabetic customers if they're sure they really need their insulin or if that is reserved for customers with mental illness?

Reminds me of a cartoon I read recently. It was titled "what if we treated all illnesses like mental illness?" there was a woman telling another woman, "I know you have food poisoning and all, but you could make an effort." and a man with a recently severed hand is told, "you just need to change your mindset."

 

[Gigi-G]

I've been a single mom of 4 kids for 12 years. I have had to pay everyone who has watched my kids for me - including my family members. I have heard criticism over the state of my house over and over again. I hear criticism over my parenting skills and my kids' behavior. And I hear nobody offering me help, ever. It's unfortunately very possible that this woman had no one to call to ask for help.

I hear ya!

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[Gigi-G]

What a tragic situation. My condolences on your loss.

I had late-onset PPD--my son was about three when it hit out of nowhere. Back then nobody knew anything about it. It was the grace of God and the love of Mr. Carbuff that kept me from being the subject of one of the threads in here. Yeah, brick wall. I just about walked out with nothing but a gym bag with my street clothes and an umbrella.

Bless ya. No one understands how dark you can get unless theyve been there done that.
People are too quick to criticize than to look at the whole picture n think i wonder if she'd like a hand..
Very often ppl are too proud to ask.. a lil can i help ya with that. Can make a heck of a difference.

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[LaborDayRN]

Actually, it was Oliver, one of the twins that was hospitalized three weeks before this incident. Here is an article with photos of Oliver in the hospital. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ne-spent-week-hospital-near-fatal-injury.html
From comments I've read (rumor) Oliver was attacked by the family dog. The fact that the attack happened could have been a freak occurrence. The children dying locked in a truck also could be a freak occurrence. But both happening within weeks of each other, to me seems like more. My hope is that the welfare of the older child living in the home is being investigated. He needs to be in a safe environment, with someone who is looking out for him and his safety. RIP Oliver and Aria. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

 

[LemonCloud]

If you haven't been in the grip of severe postpartum depression, it's all but impossible to imagine how paralyzed you can become. There were times when if the house had caught fire, I would have sat there and watched it burn me and the baby up because I could not, literally physically could not, summon enough will to move, let alone make a phone call.

(Note, not saying she necessarily has depression of any kind, but it wouldn't surprise me.)

Thank you for sharing this.

Peace and love

 

[LemonCloud]

I lost mine in a late ectopic. Placed on a maternity ward... after 2 operations in as many days. Listening to babies cry.
You hit a brick wall eventually. And dont know what to do. I was on morphine for a good while. Helped. But meh.
Depression is so often mis diagnosed.

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:heart::heart: hugs