Actually, being happy to see one's father after an absence might be considered to be within the normal range emotionally and developmentally. So would feelings of abandonment on the part of the children that he was no longer a part of their daily living.
The reality is that most families with average or better functionality are able to work through such changes--which occur frequently, whether due to divorce, or work requirements, or military placements and the like.
What we are seeing in these children is not only that they were not overjoyed to see their father (and your assumption that he expected joyous responses I believe is coming from Mom's camp--I have not heard those indications from Dad or his attorneys), but they had been scheduled to the hilt so as to make any minimal contact ("visitation") difficult, and they lived in a Mom-controlled/provided environment in which Dad's very presence was regarded first as a danger (claim that he was a "flight risk" and wanted to kidnap the children and take them to Israel) and second as a burdensome obligation (requiring multiple communications through attorneys and GAL just to schedule) to someone who is incompetent (Mom's frequent suggestions that not only is he violent, angry and a danger, but also that he cannot even make plans for what to do with the children without her ongoing approval of every detail). Their oft-repeated shunning (as documented by numerous professionals and the parenting supervisor) of their father bespeaks not a fear typically associated with abuse (which does not typically impact attachment--resulting in kids with a tendency to protect their abuser and take on feelings of guilt associated with the abuse), but rather an entitled space in which they demonstrate that they hold an upper hand in relationship to their parent--that in his presence, they are in charge. Recall the tantrum thrown by the second child when he was left with the father in the father's apartment (in the presence of the parenting supervisor). Someone finally set a limit, making it clear to him that he was NOT in charge, and that his mother could not back him up (that is until she trotted him off the the ER to claim abuse).
When children are encouraged to disrespect the authority of a parent, it ultimately carries over into other encounters with authority--as we saw in their courthouse behavior, when they made clear to multiple adults, included Sheriff's Deputies, that they could do what they wanted. And their mother stood by and watched. Frankly, when poor and minority kids show out like that in front of a judge and others, nobody gives a second thought to them being removed from their parents and placed in detention. And they don't get a pass just because they have good grades.
A divorced father ought not have to place his career on hold and change the location of his residence in order to have a relationship with his children. The fact that this one was willing to do so--following years of trying lots of other things--and go the extra mile of requesting full custody speaks not only to his own sense of responsibility, but also to his ultimate assessment of what his ex-wife is capable of.
Here's an example of a child-led dynamic and consequences.
Many years ago I had a roommate who was a recently divorced father of a 8-9 year son. Mom had full custody, lived several states away, and they had an agreement the son would spent summers with dad and that was it.
Both worked full time as professionals in very competitive fields, both were more absorbed in their careers than in raising their son, separately or together.
So the son came to live in a household with 3 adults, all of us sharing a happy enough roommate kind of friendship/coexistence. Within a week he was having full scale angry meltdowns. As in, one night he was angry with his dad, but came after ME with a chair. He hit me with it twice - hard whacks- before I could gather my wits and realize his father was standing there watching, not intervening.
The dad's response? To tell him- "well (son), you know that wasn't very nice. Say you're sorry."
(NO!!!!!!! I won't!!!!!!!).
" Well OK, I know you must be. Why don't you just go play outside for awhile? " Like that. Really.
Two weeks later of multiple out of control incidents came this day. His son had a a runny nose, ordered his dad to give him a tissue, and I do mean ordered, and his dad ran to get a box.
His son pulled out a few tissues, blew his nose, then threw the snot covered tissues on the floor, right at his dad's feet. And told his dad--- pick them up. Now.
And his father DID.
I avoided the son as much as I could after that. I'm appalled and shocked to this day, decades later, by what I saw that day.
But I've always been more saddened than appalled because of what happened next.
His father had to work one weekend and begged me to look after his son, which I did. Within minutes of his father leaving this little boy ran out the front door, circled around to the back, came running through the patio doors back into the house past me near the door, yelled to me, ran that whole circle again, yelling to me as he passed, over and over.
What was he yelling? " I hate myself!!!!" and "I am a very very bad person."
He was out of control, pushing and pushing and begging for boundaries, none to be had. He was denied a childhood, that holy precious too brief time when he had a right to feel protected by his parents, secure with them, but always the child. Not an equal, much less responsible for any decision larger than potatoes or French fries, milk or juice.
