I think there are a combination of things here so I'll add a couple - I'm going to try to speak without offending anyone but if I do - please accept my apology in advance. I know I shouldn't go here - no Dr. Rufus but.
I agree, responsibility often equates to money, how well is the family cared for, can my wife and kids have what they need and want, how many toys can I still have and can I have the time and space to enjoy my toys ? That sounds a tad selfish but it really isn't. Boys are raised wanting and needing toys - it doesn't exactly ever go away.
Independence - as boys we are raised a bit more independently - it is a difficult aspect to surrender as it may be directly impacted by the addition of more immediate family. Some men may see the addition of a wife as a wonderful thing but as the children come, the independence and freedoms appear to decrease. Some can handle it, some can't - like everything it is what you make of it.
Strong, independent women are an incredible aphrodisiac IMO - can't speak for other fellows. Generally most aphrodisiacs wane over time however. But problems often can arise if the male ego starts feeling a bit small in comparison or challenged. This however IMO is entirely dependent on the fellow and his own sense of security with himself. Some think they can deal with a strong independent partner but find out too late they cannot. I do know guys that have trouble with their wife making more money than they do. Again, some can handle it, some can not.
Just a couple of thoughts. Don't kill me fella's.