Mother of one of Lisa Irwin’s half brothers speaks out

[davehead21]

:waiting: I've been through this custody battle thingy on the board with ron cummings. He was a horrible parent, never married the mother and got full custody.

Whoever has physical custody of the child at the time of filing usually winds up the winner. It takes thousands and thousands of dollars to get an attorney to fight. Somtimes, all it comes down to is who has the most money. I am getting the impression that jeremy's family has money. Jeremy may have presented the court with house ownership (his parents gift). We may be looking at a better schooled and funded parent in this battle.

As in the Cummings case, jeremy had a place to live, a job, insurance and his parents may have told the courts they would babysit the child while he worked...dollars to donuts, he had an attorney.

Don't assume just because the mother didn't get custody that she did something bad.....not necessarily.

BBM--

Is it known as fact that the house was gifted to JI?

 

[In da Middle]

Debbies ex has not seen his son in 2 years. Jeremys ex hasnt seen her son in 2 years. I suppose This all started happening when debbie and jeremy hooked up. Hmm! moo. :waitasec:

That is something we can hmmmm about IMO. DB did not have anything to do with the actual custody issue though. But visitation is a sure maybe.

 

[luckyme]

I heard 2 years about SB, and "years" about RR- do you have a link stating that it was precisely 2 years?

IIRC, he's had full custody for 3 years, and DB has lived there for 2. Who knows, anything is possible.

No link. thats why i put moo!!:seeya:

 

[In da Middle]

BBM--

Is it known as fact that the house was gifted to JI?

The house was NOT gifted to him. He has a REAL mortgage and has had since 2002.

 

[grandmaj]

OK let me explain what our rules say about people who come forward.

We can discuss them as far as what they say in the media or what the media prints about them. But, we don't go further than that unless there is indication in the future that they are more of a player.

So lets not micro sleuth this person please.

Discuss what the article says and what your impression is. But all the rest is rumor. Thanks.

 

[davehead21]

The house was NOT gifted to him. He has a REAL mortgage and has had since 2002.

Thanks!! I thought that was the case but I wasn't sure if I missed something along the way.

 

[katshep]

What is perhaps telling is the timeline of this article. She got an interview days after Lisa's disappearance, but the video was off of a cell phone. Perhaps the producer rejected this and the article was shelved, then reignited with the boys being interviewed on Friday. She was called and talked to on Wednesday, but her attorney said no camera interview so they had to go with the cell phone footage, IMO. What may be going on is that she NOW has an attorney. A notable thing she said on Wednesday is that she is worried about her son. Worry = problem, and perhaps part of the solution to that problem is that she wants custody, and so got an attorney for this. MOO. I am hopeful this is the case.

Speculation: It should not be overlooked that this custody battle in 2008 was right about when Debbie entered the picture. It is not a given that the viciousness was originating from Jeremy, perhaps he was just the lapdog boyfriend doing what his girlfriend told him was best. MOO.

If you look at the case docket for their custody proceeding in 2008-2009, mother had the same attorney who is quoted in this article. Mother filed a motion for custody in the summer of 2008. Father contested with his own motion.There was a contested hearing in October 2008 at which both parents were represented by counsel. It is all apparent from the court docket.

 

[tlcya]

I have a feeling that there is a lot more to this whole JI has full custody thing. The fact that this young woman's lawyer says she will not be speaking any further about the situation and a statement will be coming later causes me to think my feeling on the matter is right. MOO - court documents that were linked early on in this case showed that the bio mom defaulted in the court battle and has not pursued her parental rights since. There is usually a back story that goes with that sort of situation and I imagine that holds true in this case. As this lady is not a POI or related to the Baby Lisa matter, I with withhold further comment or speculation so as not to unnecessarily victimize or vilify her with my own theories on the whys of the custody situation.

 

[Rooster27]

Why would you hope that? We know absolutely nothing about her, for all we know she could have been a horribly neglectful mother, she could have been abusive, she could have been an addict; we just don't know exactly what the circumstances were. As grandparents, my DH and I fought with everything we had to gain custody of our grandchildren after our son was killed in an accident. Their mother was a severe addict, she was homeless and living from pillar to post, at one time in a travel trailer with no heat , water, or electricity in below zero conditions in the dead of winter. She blew through over 100,000.00 in life insurance in less than 6 mo. didn't buy a home or vehicle and put nothing away for the children's future...she put it all up her nose or in her arm. The children were exposed to dozens of men in her life, dozens of addicts in her life and they missed so much school that they all had to be retained. They had over 2 dozen addresses in less than a year and attended 5 different schools. Needless to say the children were in a very bad situation...but it wasn't bad enough for a judge to award us custody. I can tell you from experience that children are not easily removed from their mothers! I'll reserve judgement of Jeremy until we hear his side of the story.
BTW mom has now gone through rehab and is finally providing a decent home for her children, we have gone above and beyond to help her for the sake of our grandchildren.

BBM
you're right. When I watched the short cellphone interview I noticed that she said, in reference to a "chid" missing "I thought it was mine" (this is paraphrased or maybe exact) instead of using her son's name. Maybe she was told to keep her son's name out of the interview for privacy? If she had used it though, it could have been "bleeped." We all get hit by different things giving us hints, and this was one for me. To me it seemed slightly impersonal. But we do not know enough at this juncture although most of us, who love our children more than life, cannot imagine not seeing them and in our minds, we create scenarios for this that are extreme. We do know that the father of the other boy in the home is in the military and some members intimated that he was deployed and that is why he hasn't seen him son, but that last part is not a fact yet. The two scenarios do sound different to me. So we really do not have all information, just our instincts. Staying neutral here.

JMO

PS Terrible story you told us there. I feel so badly for you, but wonderful you have so many grand kids and hope their futures are bright now.

 

[grandmaj]

OK let me explain what our rules say about people who come forward.

We can discuss them as far as what they say in the media or what the media prints about them. But, we don't go further than that unless there is indication in the future that they are more of a player.

So lets not micro sleuth this person please.

Discuss what the article says and what your impression is. But all the rest is rumor. Thanks.

:bump:

This woman is not to be sleuthed! NO sleuthing.

 

[Emeralgem]

We all have faults. I haven't met a saint yet. lol

There is nothing that I could find that he's a bad dad, substance abuser, child abuser. Everything reported on MSM was quite the opposite. He own a house at age 18, he raised a son on his own for at least a year (before he met DB), he has a good job, no friends or coworkers, employers or even ex friends who have come forward to say he is a terrible guy. No checkered past that we're aware of. No criminal records that we're aware of.

So,,,,,,,,,,imo, he's not a saint but there is no indication that he qualifies for worst daddy of the year award either.

I don't recall ever stating he is the worst dad ever... I'm more inclined at the present time to believe he just may be as co-dependent as HELL-O...JMHO.


Thus far I'm hearing on this thread people are assuming the mother of his son is a no good mother, an addict... reason being she didn't get custody.....

Seems to me since DB has readily admitted she got drunk, and also took pills that may have contributed to her passing out, she may have some addiction problems too....JMHO

ETA...One thing for certain... Seems JI is not the marrying kind...JMHO

 

[katshep]

Before we throw that "ruthless" comment around too much more, let's all remember that that was Peter Alexander that used that particular word, and therefore, we have no way of knowing if it was a direct quote from the ex's family, or if it was a paraphrase by a reporter.
JMO.

As to why RR has not seen her son in so long, let me remind you that most of us here know our rights. Many people don't, and it is rare for a judge to take the extra time to fully explain what his ruling means and any recourse available. As for the attorney, do we know how long she has had this attorney? Possibly her family retained him for her, as they were afraid of something even worse happening to her through the system if she was forced to have contact with JI through the courts again.

According to the court docket in the case filed in Clay County, Kansas, RR was represented throughout the proceedings by the same counsel quoted in this article. She lost at the custody tria in October 2008 apparently. The attorney moved to withdraw as counsel in February or March 2009.

 

[Wanting2Help]

A parent with sole custody should not abruptly terminate contact with a significant other whom the child has bonded unless something wretched has occurred. This is done because a parent must do whatever is in the best interest of your child and put their own needs second to the child's. The ability to bond (form attachment to others) and the feeling that he (the child) is loved will be the building block from which all his other healthy emotions develop. When this building block is damaged, the emotional health of the child is damaged. This damage might be permanent.

Do we know that it was done abruptly?? How do we know mom wasn't an "absent" mother even while living in the home with JI?

 

[Mojen]

RR filed a Family Access Motion and Motion for Temp Custody which she failed to follow through on. It was dismissed for failure to prosecute, which means she and her attorney filed and then didn't take the steps to resolve the case. In Clay County a court date is not automatically set, you have to call the Court to get a court date and file a notice of hearing to be put on the docket for your case to be heard.

Her attorney attempted to withdraw from the case but didn't file it properly (no notice or order was filed) so that went nowhere.

Jeremy did not file nor dismiss the child support action. That was done by the State and dismissed in open court.

 

[carole]

I don't recall ever stating he is the worst dad ever... I'm more inclined at the present time to believe he just may be as co-dependent as HELL-O...JMHO.


Thus far I'm hearing on this thread people are assuming the mother of his son is a no good mother, an addict... reason being she didn't get custody.....

Seems to me since DB has readily admitted she got drunk, and also took pills that may have contributed to her passing out, she may have some addiction problems too....JMHO

ETA...One thing for certain... Seems JI is not the marrying kind...JMHO

BBM

For what it's worth, he can't marry Deborah even if he wanted to - she's already married.

 

[mrye4709]

I have an ex SIL that claimed my daughter would not allow him to see his daughter for the first two years of her life. It wasn't true, I even begged him to see her. He told it to make himself look better when people asked if he got to see her. He still has supervised visitation at his mothers (we wanted her to know the rest of her family), but he hardly ever goes to see her. She does get to see the entire rest of the family. Unless the court denied her visitation, she could see her son.

 

[Quiche]

Well, I sure feel for this woman (and DB's husband, too). It must be a special brand of the he11, they already experience, to be distant at a time when you'd otherwise be holding your child tighter than ever. I don't care what the circumstances are, jail, drugs, lack of money... it's simply cruel (to parent and child) to sever that natural bond, because it doesn't work! Sorry JI and DB-- those kids will likely obsess about their "absent" parent at some point.

...and now add to that, their little sister. I think those boys should have been able to "help" from the very beginning. It would be good for their little souls. mo

:furious:

 

[pinkfly]

Upstream somewhere (didn’t click on it because I was trying to catch up) someone pondered that JI might have been referring to his ex when he made the comments that someone who could cheat on their husband could do this. That is making a lot of sense to me because he seems under DB’s spell. Surely he would have told LEOs right away if he suspected this or thought she still had a key from when she lived there.

 

[Brooke]

.....something is very wrong. Why isn't he fuming at DB. She got wasted while watching his children and one is missing. Instead he is holding her and supporting her and telling us she doesn't know anymore than he does....and how does he know? I bet the estranged mother of his child could give us an earful, but she has to be careful. I'm thinking she is afraid of him. I know I am.

BBM

It does not sit well with me that a father would fight for sole custody of a son (and by some accounts, "ruthlessly"), ostensibly based on the unsuitability/unfitness of the mother, yet support his current girlfriend/mother of his baby when she admits she drank enough to black out during the time their baby goes missing.

Just does not sit well with me.

 

[mck16]

I don't know if this has been asked and answered or not, but how much was this lady paid for her interview? Maybe she wasn't paid at all so I am just asking. Thanks.