Mother of one of Lisa Irwin’s half brothers speaks out

[Deleted member 718]

It's also possible that both JI and DB are covering for someone else.

I'm trying to keep an open mind to all possibilities, so who might it be? Another child is the only one I could fathom.

 

[Mountain_Kat]

I'm trying to keep an open mind to all possibilities, so who might it be? Another child is the only one I could fathom.

If DB was passed out cold, it's certainly possible that someone else in that house might have felt they HAD to be the person responsible for a crying baby.

(And that's all I'm going to say on that subject.)

 

[Jaxson]

These threads are becoming really scattered. I can't keep track of where I am even. This is supposed to be a thread for the interview of Jeremy's ex Rasleen Raim. I am not chastising, mind you but conversations get lost in the wrong threads and then stuff gets deleted by mods and we miss huge chunks of viable info...just saying!

 

[Wendy101]

If DB was passed out cold, it's certainly possible that someone else in that house might have felt they HAD to be the person responsible for a crying baby.

(And that's all I'm going to say on that subject.)

Also, this would totally make sense of why both parents are behaving the way they are....IMO...

(I'm done talking about this subject now )

 

[1&2&3]

It all makes me question if Jeremy has two sides - the quiet shy side to outsiders and a short temper, demanding, controlling, abusive side inside the house?

 

[DLT88]

I had wondered where the 8-year-old's mother was and if her parental rights were terminated. It appears that this is not true, but Jeremy has full custody of the eight-year-old and Jeremy has not allowed the boy's mother to see him in two years. There have been no supervised visits allowed either.

This says volumes of negative things to me about Jeremy. That custody battle was likely wretchedly traumatic for his eight-year-old son and likely still causes that little boy sadness. Deborah moved in shortly after this event or during the end of this battle.

I also think he says a lot about Jeremy. I've never written this here, but I do not get a good vibe from him. But I had no facts to base that feeling on. I have always felt him to be sort of......shifty looking.

 

[EllaMae]

I had wondered where the 8-year-old's mother was and if her parental rights were terminated. It appears that this is not true, but Jeremy has full custody of the eight-year-old and Jeremy has not allowed the boy's mother to see him in two years. There have been no supervised visits allowed either.

This says volumes of negative things to me about Jeremy. That custody battle was likely wretchedly traumatic for his eight-year-old son and likely still causes that little boy sadness. Deborah moved in shortly after this event or during the end of this battle.

No parent can legally keep a child from the non-custodial parent if there is a court order for scheduled visitation. Many non-custodial parents claim that they have been kept away from their children, but in reality they may not be making the effort to see their children. This mother could file a contempt case in civil court, and if found guilty with interference of visitation, Jeremy would be in some trouble. He could also be liable for the court costs and her legal fees.

There's probably something about that visitation issue that she's left out....like why she's not raising all kind of heck about being alienated from her child. I would never sit by for 2 years and allow anyone to keep me from interacting with my child.

 

[EllaMae]

Sole physical custody means that a child shall reside with and be under the supervision of one parent, subject to the power of the court to order visitation. If a child lives with only one parent, that parent has sole physical custody and is said to be the custodial parent. The other parent is said to be the non-custodial parent, and may or may not have visitation rights with his/her child. If Jeremy wanted his child to spend any time with his mother, (even supervised visitation) he could ask for changes in visitation.

The comment from Raim's parents (first few days after Lisa disappeared) was that Jeremy was ruthless in seeking custody of the eight-year-old.

IIRC....it was not determined if that was a true quote by the maternal grandparents, or if the word "ruthless" was the reporter's expression.

It is not Jeremy's responsibility to ask for visitation. That is determined during the custody case, and in many cases the judge makes that call if there is a problem. There is more than likely a very good reason this woman doesn't have visitation with her son. Judges are usually very determined about protecting the rights of children, and they want to protect the child's relationship with both parents whenever possible.
If she wants visitation, then it's up to her to file. She didn't show up for the court proceedings, so it's on her to file for an amendment.
There's a very good reason she hasn't seen her son, IMHO, and I doubt it's because Jeremy is the real problem.

 

[LEFT-COASTER]

We all have no idea why he has custody nor will we prolly ever know..
But i will say this .. My ex hubby had 3 children from his 1st marriage.. He is actually a very mild mannered man and not a mean streak in him.. But as for when he was going after custody.. Ruthlessly persuing it would have been putting in mildly.. It was not done out of meaness or any such thing only protection of the children.. ..
I just think its wrong for us to read too much into that word being used, for we have no idea why the custody was an issue.
Im not sticking up for anyone.. as I have no idea what happened or who is involved.. (time will hopefully tell us this). But there could be very good reason that he wanted and was granted .

In the case of my ex hubby .. his first wife (the mother of his children) was bi-polar with pysco tendencys and she only had limited supervised visitations.
So I would guess that the boys mom.. had visitation of some sort.. that she just didnt push or didnt take advantage of..

*note im not saying she was anything like my ex's ex.. just that there would be some sort of visitation.. ..

 

[frankie069]

SBM
BBM
34 minutes sounds like about the perfect amount of time to call. that means they had time to look all around the house, they also went to the neighbors just in case she was there. And we don't know he got home exactly at 3:30. It could have been a few minutes later.

Question first. Where did it say they went to the neighbors house before calling the police? I didnt see that anywhere.

Comment.. I think 30 minutes is a long time with a 10 month old, might not be with a 10 year old during the day because they might be home late from their friends house etc, then you find out they were taken on the way home but at 10 months old, where was this baby supposed to go in the middle of the night. Its a very long time to me. I would have called the police and then looked later. Or looked while I was calling them.

OT Question now.. What in Gods name is BBM and SBM. I am so confused..:waitasec:

 

[EllaMae]

It all makes me question if Jeremy has two sides - the quiet shy side to outsiders and a short temper, demanding, controlling, abusive side inside the house?

The mother did not show up for the custody hearing. Jeremy is not responsible for that. He would have no control over whether or not she showed up for a custody hearing. It's a little extreme to question his character because the of the mother's failure.
The child was apparently not a priority to this mother. I don't understand how you can place blame on Jeremy for being a responsible parent, and for wanting to raise his son. He did the right thing, and somehow it's seen as detrimental?

If the mother had shown up for court, the judge would have given her consideration as well. She didn't, so she has to live with the consequences of her inaction.

 

[passionflower]

It all makes me question if Jeremy has two sides - the quiet shy side to outsiders and a short temper, demanding, controlling, abusive side inside the house?

I keep comparing this to the Haleigh Cummings disappearance.
Drinking has been admitted, what about drugs?
Father demands child from bio mom, yet leaves his own kids with
a woman who likes to get drunk that he is not married to attend to
his children and hers????

 

[Pensfan]

The mother did not show up for the custody hearing. Jeremy is not responsible for that. He would have no control over whether or not she showed up for a custody hearing. It's a little extreme to question his character because the of the mother's failure.
The child was apparently not a priority to this mother. I don't understand how you can place blame on Jeremy for being a responsible parent, and for wanting to raise his son. He did the right thing, and somehow it's seen as detrimental?
If the mother had shown up for court, the judge would have given her consideration as well. She didn't, so she has to live with the consequences of her inaction.

The above statement is not necessarily true. The bio mother may have known that she didn’t stand a chance of receiving custody or visitation if Jeremy (or Deborah) had previously played the "nuclear option CPS card" on her. SEVENTY ONE percent of intentionally false reports to CPS come from contentious custody battles. Unsubstantiated and false CPS reports happen thousands of times every single day. For an indigent parent, who will be assigned a financially-struggling tax attorney as their public defender, the result can be the loss of their parental rights within 15 months if they are not savvy to CPS tactics.
http://www.nolanchart.com/article27...al-abuse-allegations-in-custody-disputes.html

If you believe CPS caseworkers are government child saviors that are never gullible in contentious custody battles, read here:
http://scholarship.law.duke.edu/cgi...source cps unsubstantiated divorce site:.edu"

 

[grandmaj]

Can anyone tell me why we continue to discuss court records on this mother when we aren't sleuthing her?

 

[gitana1]

Jeremy has full custody therefore, Jeremy gets to decide where his son goes and who his son will visit. Apparently, Jeremy didn't allow his son to visit his mother (not even a supervised visit) after he was given full custody.

BBM. This is untrue.

I am very upset by the fact that this mother did not show up for the court proceeding and has not had any, as in zero visitation with her son.. Jeremy Irwin cannot be blamed for what this mother has NOT done in attempting to keep, have, renew a relationship with her son.. Jeremy had custody but this woman infact still had rights to her son that she has chosen NOT TO PURSUE! that hasn't anything to do with Jeremy and Jeremy could not have kept this mother out of her son's life even if he attempted to.. It is by no choice but her own(this boy's mother) that she has not seen her son in years.. PERIOD!

There are many reasons why a parent would not pursue custody or visitation. They could have a substance abuse problem, mental health issue or flat be out-lawyered and/or not have the funds to pursue the same level of litigation and simply give up after a while. Or, they could have been lied to about the date for the hearing, which happens ALL the time, regardless of whether the other side filed a proof of service or not.

Also, some parents are very good at alienating their children such that the other parent decides to walk away rather than causing more stress to the child. I would never give up but some people are not as strong or are totally baffled by the court system, lied to by opposing counsel about their rights, misinformed, etc.

In Missouri, when you file for custody of a child, the child resides with the parent who files first. However, in recent years joint custody is the baseline by law for all cases. No matter who the child physically lives with. It does seem to be a monumental event that a parent gets restricted custody.

It is very expensive for mothers to afford defense if they were SAHM, reliant on fathers, and have little income. I've known many cases where the father makes the money; therefore, can afford a legal battle. Whereas the mother is left without the means to do so. Prime territory for abusers.

I have also felt that this county, including SS would not know a female narcissist if they smacked them in the face and have seen fathers taken to the cleaners by manipulators.

I would not jump the gun on the idea that this woman lost custody for being a "bad mom", it is possible; however, common if the fathers are abusers to get away with "legal abuse" IMVHO.

Most of the paternity case, and custody information has been removed on case.net in Missouri.

If you care to view go to:
https://www.courts.mo.gov/casenet/cases/searchCases.do?searchType=name
Search with the name; Rasleen Raim (check include alias)

You can do this with Jeremy Irwin and Deborah Bradley -- or anyone else in MO for that matter. It's public record.

In California, parents without the ability to pay for an attorney can receive an award of attorney's fees from the other parent, if the other parent is able to pay. Is that not the case in Missouri? Such awards aren't always enough for the less wealthy parent to retain counsel throughout the entire litigation , or to have the best quality counsel, but it can help.

 

[not_my_kids]

Question first. Where did it say they went to the neighbors house before calling the police? I didnt see that anywhere.

Comment.. I think 30 minutes is a long time with a 10 month old, might not be with a 10 year old during the day because they might be home late from their friends house etc, then you find out they were taken on the way home but at 10 months old, where was this baby supposed to go in the middle of the night. Its a very long time to me. I would have called the police and then looked later. Or looked while I was calling them.

OT Question now.. What in Gods name is BBM and SBM. I am so confused..:waitasec:

It's in the transcripts in the compare the parents statement to the media thread. Jeremy said in one interview and only one, that ran to the neighbor's, Lisa wasn't there, and then he was searching outside while DB searched inside. I can't say for sure if this was before or after LE was called.

 

[Whisperer]

BBM--

Is it known as fact that the house was gifted to JI?

I read that it was his parent's house before he moved in at the age of 18...the parents bought another home nearby. One may assume it was gifted or one can assume he qualified for a mortgage at the age of 18.

 

[Mojen]

He has a mortgage on it with US Bank dated 11/22/92.

I don't know if this link will work; but it's the Clay County Recorder of Deeds.

http://recorder.claycogov.com/iRecordClient/REALSummary.aspx?INSTRUMENT_PK=20020062045

 

[In da Middle]

Question first. Where did it say they went to the neighbors house before calling the police? I didnt see that anywhere.

Comment.. I think 30 minutes is a long time with a 10 month old, might not be with a 10 year old during the day because they might be home late from their friends house etc, then you find out they were taken on the way home but at 10 months old, where was this baby supposed to go in the middle of the night. Its a very long time to me. I would have called the police and then looked later. Or looked while I was calling them.

OT Question now.. What in Gods name is BBM and SBM. I am so confused..:waitasec:

This was stated by a different neighbor on the news when the story was first breaking. Said he woke several neighbors up with his panic yelling' please tell me you have the baby' over and over again when he ran to his neighbor that was his friend.
several minutes apiece looking around the house, running to neighbors, deciding to call 911.....
I think it would be far more suspect if they called right away like they already knew before hand the baby was gone. No I dont' have a link. look in the media thread for stuff in the very first hours.

 

[JustPeachy]

I read that it was his parent's house before he moved in at the age of 18...the parents bought another home nearby. One may assume it was gifted or one can assume he qualified for a mortgage at the age of 18.

If the house was not gifted by his parents, they could be carrying the loan themselves. In my former life (before I retired and became a beach bum) I was a mortgage lender, and I just don't see how JI would have qualified at 18.
He would need a couple years of full time employment and a couple years of good credit.