- Joined
- Jul 30, 2024
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I wanted to stop by and post something supportive that may save lives.
I am a 41 year old man with CTE who has been ostracized and subjected to a lot of taunting and adversity in America that has gone on since my mid 20s, because when I was young the CTE and untreated ADHD was setting in and I exhibited bizarre, erratic behavior while being featured in adult films as a career.
Over the years the bad treatment in society could make me very angry and hurt. In 2024 I got some software and started channeling my psychological insanity into music. By 2025 I was already making chart quality music and have been making many bangers while on disability. This is very therapeutic and given my health issues it will serve as a creative legacy after I’m gone, in the event that I succumb to the central apnea or the CTE.
It got me thinking that… society has been rough on men in the last couple decades. I will go on a limb and say especially white men have been subjected to a lot of silent, implied blame for injustices, but the men society is taking it out on today aren’t the Milton Friedmans or Stock Market geniuses who broke the social contract in the 70s and led to seemingly permenant downward trajectory. Instead the men who are often ostracized and ridiculed and economically stuck are men in their 20s and 30s who live on $350 per week and wear hoodies, men of all races too.
Because of the mounting pressures on men, and the heightened blame and assumptions on men’s character, this pattern has coincided with escalating rates of random lone wolf gun violence when men are pushed to the brink with no outlet.
Given the therapy and amazing sonic universe I have designed with the time I have on my hands in a paradigm in which I have few friends and low income, I have found this to be a life saving feature I’m very blessed to have access to for 18 months now. And unlike violence, the bizarre bangers allow me to express my deranged psychology and will leave a legacy that anthropologists can study in 200 years about bad socioeconomic conditions of the early 21st century
So if you know anyone struggling or exiled from mainstream life, I strongly recommend downloading a DAW like Ableton or Reason 13. These DAWs have all the software sounds and effects needed to produce chart quality music, and being exiled you’re free to make the weirdest music you want to and there’s no reputation damage the weird music can cause if you’re already down and out: it can only improve your life. 10 or 20 years ago it cost thousands of dollars to access chart quality production tools, but in 2025 these DAWs are democratized and you can get full access for figures like $20 per month for Reason or $70 a year for Ableton.
You can get a trusty Behringer XM8500 microphone for $35 that is perfect for recording vocals in an untreated space, no need yet for an expensive mic. The only piece of equipment I am a stickler on is the reference headphones: you don’t want to cheap out on those or your sound won’t be accurate. I use the Audio Technica ATH-R50X which are sexy and comfortable and produce very high end sound accuracy. A standard laptop is enough to get started, and powerful laptops can be had for $500. I recommend a mid grade NIMO windows laptop from Amazon.
Someone who doesn’t have experience producing music can easily learn by using Chat GPT to ask how to work the various effect and mixing tools in the software to produce professional sounding music.
You probably won’t be famous overnight, but you leave a legacy to be studied. You don’t have to distribute on Landr or CR baby right away if you don’t want but you can start by making a SoundCloud or YouTube channel. You can use CapCut to make videos you film with your phone and free stock video clips from pexels.com to produce with. but if
someone keeps producing bangers and channeling rage or psychosis into their music, it can be soothing and likely prevent being pushed over the edge. Especially accessible option for young men on disability or unemployed and living with parents like me.
It was important to me to share this wonderful blessing I’ve had and I’m convinced it could save lives if passed along
Barbara AKA Sherman AKA Alice Douglas
I am a 41 year old man with CTE who has been ostracized and subjected to a lot of taunting and adversity in America that has gone on since my mid 20s, because when I was young the CTE and untreated ADHD was setting in and I exhibited bizarre, erratic behavior while being featured in adult films as a career.
Over the years the bad treatment in society could make me very angry and hurt. In 2024 I got some software and started channeling my psychological insanity into music. By 2025 I was already making chart quality music and have been making many bangers while on disability. This is very therapeutic and given my health issues it will serve as a creative legacy after I’m gone, in the event that I succumb to the central apnea or the CTE.
It got me thinking that… society has been rough on men in the last couple decades. I will go on a limb and say especially white men have been subjected to a lot of silent, implied blame for injustices, but the men society is taking it out on today aren’t the Milton Friedmans or Stock Market geniuses who broke the social contract in the 70s and led to seemingly permenant downward trajectory. Instead the men who are often ostracized and ridiculed and economically stuck are men in their 20s and 30s who live on $350 per week and wear hoodies, men of all races too.
Because of the mounting pressures on men, and the heightened blame and assumptions on men’s character, this pattern has coincided with escalating rates of random lone wolf gun violence when men are pushed to the brink with no outlet.
Given the therapy and amazing sonic universe I have designed with the time I have on my hands in a paradigm in which I have few friends and low income, I have found this to be a life saving feature I’m very blessed to have access to for 18 months now. And unlike violence, the bizarre bangers allow me to express my deranged psychology and will leave a legacy that anthropologists can study in 200 years about bad socioeconomic conditions of the early 21st century
So if you know anyone struggling or exiled from mainstream life, I strongly recommend downloading a DAW like Ableton or Reason 13. These DAWs have all the software sounds and effects needed to produce chart quality music, and being exiled you’re free to make the weirdest music you want to and there’s no reputation damage the weird music can cause if you’re already down and out: it can only improve your life. 10 or 20 years ago it cost thousands of dollars to access chart quality production tools, but in 2025 these DAWs are democratized and you can get full access for figures like $20 per month for Reason or $70 a year for Ableton.
You can get a trusty Behringer XM8500 microphone for $35 that is perfect for recording vocals in an untreated space, no need yet for an expensive mic. The only piece of equipment I am a stickler on is the reference headphones: you don’t want to cheap out on those or your sound won’t be accurate. I use the Audio Technica ATH-R50X which are sexy and comfortable and produce very high end sound accuracy. A standard laptop is enough to get started, and powerful laptops can be had for $500. I recommend a mid grade NIMO windows laptop from Amazon.
Someone who doesn’t have experience producing music can easily learn by using Chat GPT to ask how to work the various effect and mixing tools in the software to produce professional sounding music.
You probably won’t be famous overnight, but you leave a legacy to be studied. You don’t have to distribute on Landr or CR baby right away if you don’t want but you can start by making a SoundCloud or YouTube channel. You can use CapCut to make videos you film with your phone and free stock video clips from pexels.com to produce with. but if
someone keeps producing bangers and channeling rage or psychosis into their music, it can be soothing and likely prevent being pushed over the edge. Especially accessible option for young men on disability or unemployed and living with parents like me.
It was important to me to share this wonderful blessing I’ve had and I’m convinced it could save lives if passed along
Barbara AKA Sherman AKA Alice Douglas