NC - Mom of 3 who vanished 24 years ago while Christmas shopping found ‘alive and well’.

[BeginnerSleuther]

She wasn't reported missing for two weeks. That's very telling to me,

Maybe she would love to have contact with her kids, but if she did that then someone else would find out where she was. I won't judge her as she could've been running from an awful situation.

But she left her kids in that awful situation. I think I'd have more sympathy for her circumstances if she had faked her death or if she had let law enforcement know she was safe but would not be returning (though I wonder if child abandonment laws would apply in that case). Basically, give the kids some resolution. She inflicted lifelong trauma on them, and while I am sympathetic to a potential awful situation, I can't help but think that she made life much, much harder for her children, both by leaving them in that situation alone without her protection (if such situation existed) and by making them wonder for 20 years whether mom was dead or alive, hurt and needing help, being beaten or tortured. I just can't get past the harm that does to a child, even an adult child, to think your parent could be out there in the world needing your help and you're not able to help them.

MOO.

 

[BeginnerSleuther]

I disagree, she has a right to disappear if she's in fear for her life. She obviously knew that her kids were safe (which they were), but it's possible that she didn't feel safe staying.
Women shouldn't have to stay in an abusive situation just because they have kids!!
Jmo

They are responsible for the safety of their children. If there was abuse in the household, it is her responsibility as the mother, to protect her kids. If she needs to disappear, then she needs to arrange for the kids to come with her or she needs to press charges to get the abuser out of the picture. Abandoning your children is not the answer, even in abuse, because you are leaving them in the situation you're escaping and you have no way of knowing how safe they will be once you're gone.

MOO.

 

[BeginnerSleuther]

She left because of "domestic issues " so it's a reasonable guess that it was because of abuse. If she had contacted her kids, she would've had a visit from him.
Maybe you don't understand the risks women face when leaving an abusive man.
Jmo

There's no evidence at all that this was a case of abuse. Domestic issues has a world of implications. It could just be that there was conflict in the home. It could also be that she didn't want to be a mom or that she didn't want to be married or that she was having an affair or that her husband was unfaithful. We don't know that she was in a DV situation. But I also will say that even if she was, it's still not an excuse to abandon your children who are helpless.

MOO.

 

[Sessiebo]

I just feel sorry for her children having to miss their mom for so long, not knowing why.

 

[lisette]

But she left her kids in that awful situation. I think I'd have more sympathy for her circumstances if she had faked her death or if she had let law enforcement know she was safe but would not be returning (though I wonder if child abandonment laws would apply in that case). Basically, give the kids some resolution. She inflicted lifelong trauma on them, and while I am sympathetic to a potential awful situation, I can't help but think that she made life much, much harder for her children, both by leaving them in that situation alone without her protection (if such situation existed) and by making them wonder for 20 years whether mom was dead or alive, hurt and needing help, being beaten or tortured. I just can't get past the harm that does to a child, even an adult child, to think your parent could be out there in the world needing your help and you're not able to help them.

MOO.

Amanda, the daughter that was 14 when she left, has said that it was not an “awful situation” for them before she left. She said their father was a good man and hoped that people would not accuse him of being something he wasn’t. https://people.com/missing-mom-found-after-24-years-said-she-left-due-to-domestic-issues-11912535
I don’t think we should assume that this woman’s “domestic issues“ comment means that he was abusive… and run with it to destroy his reputation. Maybe the “domestic issues“ had to do with her more than him.