GUILTY NH - AH, 14, North Conway, 9 October 2013 - #12

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  • #681
You said it. This is why LE in this case so desperately needs a PR person. They have no idea how to word things in a way that puts people at ease and stops so many rumors and speculation. I will not comment on LE's ability in this case to solve the crime or figure out what happened, but I will comment on the fact that their public relations are terrible.

Some people here say that their only job is to work on this investigation, but that is just not true. A large part of any police department's work in a high profile case is dealing with the public, especially when they have repeatedly asked for the public's help. The way they are wording things, along with the very unprofessional sketch of a guy, who I guess is bad??? I am still confused by that, two days later. It all just makes me shake my head.

But if LE wants to conduct themselves this way, then I suppose that is their choice. I am merely pointing out to them that if they want the public's help, then they should keep the public in their good graces. No I do not mean spilling every part of the investigation. I mean very basic stuff, like carefully crafted statements that do not seem so sketchy to everyone, or releasing a sketch that has been done by an actual profession police sketch artist, or when asking for public help, giving the public the information they would actually need in order to help.

Again, they can do as they like, but if they keep handling the case like this, then I swear they will not get a lot of help the next time they release a sketch.

LE is in a no win situation. No matter what they say their comments will be picked apart and people will still be searching to know what they meant. Why can't people just take what LE says at face value? No reading between the lines, no questioning why they used this word instead of that one, and if they don't want to comment then I'd guess they have a damned good reason for it. I know from experience that when speaking to a large group of people some topics you are just not prepared to discuss, be it for good reasons or bad. Perhaps they thought it was such a ridiculous question they hadn't prepared an answer. A good public speaker will not discuss things they are not fully versed in for fear of not saying the right thing. Now that takes some PR skill not to get sucked into that situation. Not everyone views their statements as sketchy, I am certain they are carefully worded to say exactly what they want. It's those that are not satisfied with their answer that find the comments sketchy.

And what's the problem with the artists sketch? It looks like every other one I have ever seen. Think for a minute what a photograph quality drawing would result in. There may be one person on earth that it looks like and they get no tips. The features that stand out to the witness are the features that will stand out to others and should result in more potential look a likes. Those prominent features as described by a witness will look exaggerated in the sketches but will also draw the attention just as they did to the witness. That is the information they believe will allow the general public to help them. Asking for more is just asking for details they are not yet prepared to release or that they do not know yet. Why can't that be enough for now?

I honestly believe that anyone who would consciously decide NOT to help someone in need because they weren't massaged enough by some PR specialist last time, to be the lowest form of human being on the planet. You help because you are human, not to get the details.
 
  • #682
I know...but not everyone pays attention. My family in upstate NY had no clue. My sisters in TX had never heard of her. Just saying, I think we tend to think that most people pay attention than actually do. Jmo

You're totally right. I live in Chicago with cousins in Boston and various areas across the East Coast: I excitedly shared the news on my Facebook, and all of my cousins noted that they'd never heard of it.
Doubly annoying, as I share "missing" posters on fb, so they inadvertently admitted not reading them lol

Via Kindle, like a true Amazon junkie
 
  • #683
LE is in a no win situation. No matter what they say their comments will be picked apart and people will still be searching to know what they meant. Why can't people just take what LE says at face value? No reading between the lines, no questioning why they used this word instead of that one, and if they don't want to comment then I'd guess they have a damned good reason for it. I know from experience that when speaking to a large group of people some topics you are just not prepared to discuss, be it for good reasons or bad. Perhaps they thought it was such a ridiculous question they hadn't prepared an answer. A good public speaker will not discuss things they are not fully versed in for fear of not saying the right thing. Now that takes some PR skill not to get sucked into that situation. Not everyone views their statements as sketchy, I am certain they are carefully worded to say exactly what they want. It's those that are not satisfied with their answer that find the comments sketchy.

And what's the problem with the artists sketch? It looks like every other one I have ever seen. Think for a minute what a photograph quality drawing would result in. There may be one person on earth that it looks like and they get no tips. The features that stand out to the witness are the features that will stand out to others and should result in more potential look a likes. Those prominent features as described by a witness will look exaggerated in the sketches but will also draw the attention just as they did to the witness. That is the information they believe will allow the general public to help them. Asking for more is just asking for details they are not yet prepared to release or that they do not know yet. Why can't that be enough for now?

I honestly believe that anyone who would consciously decide NOT to help someone in need because they weren't massaged enough by some PR specialist last time, to be the lowest form of human being on the planet. You help because you are human, not to get the details.

Well, I guess I could take at face value that investigators do not know whether Abby was kidnapped or not. I suppose I could assume that they really are still baffled at this point. I mean, they have the victim right there, she obvious can communicate information (the sketch), and yet they have not solved the mystery of a yes or no question. Instead I am going to go ahead and not take that at face value, because it does not make any sense. I am going to conclude that they are lying.

And no, I would never not help because the PR is bad. However, when information is being disseminated in a confusing and contradictory manner, I might just start to think that someone is yanking my chain, and because I am not a saint, I do not help people I think are emotionally manipulating me.
 
  • #684
How is the NH AG and NH state police emotionally manipulating the public? They are protecting the integrity of the investigation. They are protecting ABBY, her mom and sister.... They are doing their job. Investigating, following up on leads and trying to ID this guy, find him and question him.
 
  • #685
I know...but not everyone pays attention. My family in upstate NY had no clue. My sisters in TX had never heard of her. Just saying, I think we tend to think that most people pay attention than actually do. Jmo
I would think that most any individual with decent and righteous intentions, who found an unknown teen in his/her midst, would take a little time to do a web search for missing teenage girls in their region.

JMO
 
  • #686
I would think that most any individual with decent and righteous intentions, who found an unknown teen in his/her midst, would take a little time to do a web search for missing teenage girls in their region.

JMO


Unless they were convinced she was in danger in some way, if she went home. Or she moved around. Anyway just guessing and thinking.
 
  • #687
I would think that most any individual with decent and righteous intentions, who found an unknown teen in his/her midst, would take a little time to do a web search for missing teenage girls in their region.

JMO

You would think!
But I'm afraid more often than not they don't.
I have a close friend who is currently housing a 16 year old boy because, according to the boy and her son, he was kicked out.

Years and years ago another close friend of mine had a younger brother... The brother, age 17...found while at the mall a fourteen year old girl. She was a runaway. I know she wasn't from around here because she had an accent ( southern) They took her in. The brother and this girl have been married for years & have children together...I still do not know her real indentity.
 
  • #688
You would think!
But I'm afraid more often than not they don't.
I have a close friend who is currently housing a 16 year old boy because, according to the boy and her son, he was kicked out.

Years and years ago another close friend of mine had a younger brother... The brother, age 17...found while at the mall a fourteen year old girl. She was a runaway. They took her in. The brother and this girl have been married for years & have children together...I still do not know her real indentity.

Times have changed a lot in the past 10 years or so. When I was a teenager (mid to late 90's), we had kids in the town where my dad lived who were minors that just hung out on the street, crashed on people's couches, and got money from odd jobs and food stamps (and some other stuff I am sure). Under the law they should have been living with their parents and been in school. Some of them even got arrested from time to time. People just did not think about that stuff even in the 90's the way they do now. Those kids were runaways whose parents had neglected them and refused to care for them. No one cared back then.
 
  • #689
Ok, if I understand the posting about the law above, even if a minor willingly leaves, if a person knows LE or family is looking for them, and refuses to let LE know where the person is, that is illegal, correct??? So even if the minor did not want to go home, or did not want contact with family, the person helping them would need to let LE know that, and then I guess social services or a child advocate or whatever would step in and help mediate the situation? Just trying to understand. I do know of teenagers that have left home, and lived with a friend's family, but I 'think' most had an idea of where the child was. I know in our area that a teenager was sneeking another teenager onto school property for lunch because the child had run away, and was living in their car, and was hungry. Unfortunately, instead of helping, the school officials and LE charged both kids with some crime. IMO, the child was a hero for helping his friend get food. But at any rate, laws are laws I guess. What I'm truly wanting to know though, if Abby decided to leave on her own, and whoever was helping her knew she left on her own, are they still guilty of a crime since she's a minor? What is she refused to go home? Would that still be a crime? I guess the person should have told LE? I'm just thinking that if someone came to me in need of help, and whether their viewpoint was real, or real only to them, and they truly wanted my help, I would provide it. BUT, once the person is reported as missing, then I assume at that point LE must be notified of their whereabouts no matter the circumstances. Correct? One reason I'm asking, it was many years ago, but one of my kids was called by their friend, and they needed a place to stay. Both parents were alcoholics, and would get phyically and verbally abusive when drunk. We did pick the child up, who stayed with us for a week. Neither parent reported them missing, and I don't know if they knew the child was staying with us or not. We debated involving the police for several reasons, one being that we knew the child would go back home, and if LE was involved, no telling what the child would endure. In the end, we didn't notify, and the child did go back home, and parents never said anything about it to us. I don't know if we made the right decision or not. It was summer, so the child wasn't missing school. The child wasn't hid from anyone. The child was free to go back home whenever they wanted. But I guess in hindsight, maybe we should have notified the police?? BTW, this was over 10yrs ago, so I can't change how we responded now. But this case has made me think.

My neighbor had a similar situation where she took in her daughters friend as a teen. She eventually adopted her but had to search for her mother, who was living on the streets of Baltimore as a heroin junkie, and have her sign her rights away. Her mother was so sick that she never once searched for her missing daughter. Instead she sold all of the furniture in the home and used it to buy drugs and then became a homeless junkie.

JMO here but most kids who run away have got to be in abusive, broken homes. The parents DON'T look for them. Many kids run away and say 'I'm leaving bye!' At least the parent knows it was by choice. If the parents do actually look for them then they will atleast know it was voluntary and they kid is probably at a friends house and probably OK. This is totally different from a kid from a seemingly happy family, with no drug abuse issues, no suicidal thoughts, nothing weird, just totally disappearing off the face of the earth.
 
  • #690
Times have changed a lot in the past 10 years or so. When I was a teenager (mid to late 90's), we had kids in the town where my dad lived who were minors that just hung out on the street, crashed on people's couches, and got money from odd jobs and food stamps (and some other stuff I am sure). Under the law they should have been living with their parents and been in school. Some of them even got arrested from time to time. People just did not think about that stuff even in the 90's the way they do now. Those kids were runaways whose parents had neglected them and refused to care for them. No one cared back then.

It's still the same in certain areas of cities. Every year, I buy thrift store coats, hats and gloves and make a drop or too.
There are still runaway shelters for teens. savvy teens know where they are, the rules for length of stay and know how to rotate shelters and travel around.
 
  • #691
My neighbor had a similar situation where she took in her daughters friend as a teen. She eventually adopted her but had to search for her mother, who was living on the streets of Baltimore as a heroin junkie, and have her sign her rights away. Her mother was so sick that she never once searched for her missing daughter. Instead she sold all of the furniture in the home and used it to buy drugs and then became a homeless junkie.

JMO here but most kids who run away have got to be in abusive, broken homes. The parents DON'T look for them. Many kids run away and say 'I'm leaving bye!' At least the parent knows it was by choice. If the parents do actually look for them then they will atleast know it was voluntary and they kid is probably at a friends house and probably OK. This is totally different from a kid from a seemingly happy family, with no drug abuse issues, no suicidal thoughts, nothing weird, just totally disappearing off the face of the earth.

Totally agree.
 
  • #692
My neighbor had a similar situation where she took in her daughters friend as a teen. She eventually adopted her but had to search for her mother, who was living on the streets of Baltimore as a heroin junkie, and have her sign her rights away. Her mother was so sick that she never once searched for her missing daughter. Instead she sold all of the furniture in the home and used it to buy drugs and then became a homeless junkie.

JMO here but most kids who run away have got to be in abusive, broken homes. The parents DON'T look for them. Many kids run away and say 'I'm leaving bye!' At least the parent knows it was by choice. If the parents do actually look for them then they will atleast know it was voluntary and they kid is probably at a friends house and probably OK. This is totally different from a kid from a seemingly happy family, with no drug abuse issues, no suicidal thoughts, nothing weird, just totally disappearing off the face of the earth.

I agree.
 
  • #693
I know...but not everyone pays attention. My family in upstate NY had no clue. My sisters in TX had never heard of her. Just saying, I think we tend to think that most people pay attention than actually do. Jmo

Abbie has relatives in Texas, but I heard of her missing on the national news and then came to Websleuths for details.
 
  • #694
I know...but not everyone pays attention. My family in upstate NY had no clue. My sisters in TX had never heard of her. Just saying, I think we tend to think that most people pay attention than actually do. Jmo

I live and work in NH. Less than six coworkers knew about Abby. I don't think the average person pays much attention.

I also want to add that I never saw one missing poster, sign, etc. obviously I saw her story on the news, but that's it.
 
  • #695
I live and work in NH. Less than six coworkers knew about Abby. I don't think the average person pays much attention.

I also want to add that I never saw one missing poster, sign, etc. obviously I saw her story on the news, but that's it.

That is the scary truth. A missing person could very easily blend in. I am sure that Abby could have moved openly around Los Angeles for the past 9 months and no one would have ever noticed.

Brandi Stahr lived openly and a held a job and it took 7 years before anyone to recognize her.
 
  • #696
Abbie has relatives in Texas, but I heard of her missing on the national news and then came to Websleuths for details.

But you are interested in missing persons and pay attention. Most people aren't and don't. I live a few hours from where Dylan Redwine's body was found and no one around knew about him, though he was on our local news all the time that year. Once I prompted them, i.e the boy in Colorado, staying with his dad, etc. it might ring a bell. But certainly not to where they would recognize him. Jmo
 
  • #697
But you are interested in missing persons and pay attention. Most people aren't and don't. I live a few hours from where Dylan Redwine's body was found and no one around knew about him, though he was on our local news all the time that year. Once I prompted them, i.e the boy in Colorado, staying with his dad, etc. it might ring a bell. But certainly not to where they would recognize him. Jmo

Agree.

I'm interested in missing persons so I do research but until Dylan Redwine was on Dr. Phil my family hadn't heard of him. I'm sure they haven't heard of Abby. And I've not seen anything in the news or newspaper here in the Midwest regarding Abby. Or most missing persons actually.
 
  • #698
But you are interested in missing persons and pay attention. Most people aren't and don't. I live a few hours from where Dylan Redwine's body was found and no one around knew about him, though he was on our local news all the time that year. Once I prompted them, i.e the boy in Colorado, staying with his dad, etc. it might ring a bell. But certainly not to where they would recognize him. Jmo

We used to live in Northern VA. It was shocking how many people never heard of Morgan Harrington.
 
  • #699
We used to live in Northern VA. It was shocking how many people never heard of Morgan Harrington.

And sad. People are so busy with their own stuff...if it does not pertain to them directly, seems like not much gets through. Jmo
 
  • #700
I would think that most any individual with decent and righteous intentions, who found an unknown teen in his/her midst, would take a little time to do a web search for missing teenage girls in their region.

JMO

Honestly, there are unknown teens around all of the time in my town. With a military base here, people frequently move in. Then we have kids who are here visiting/splitting time with their other parent. My youngest son (15), has 2 friends who live alone- 1 16 and 1 17. Their parents have moved to be with a mate, and have left the kids. There is only one high school, with 3300 kids- even my husband who teaches there does not ever meet them all.
 
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