Found Deceased NJ - Mark Schlegel, 57, Oradell, 13 Aug 2017

[Songbird171]

I'm so sad. Why Mark why? His poor family. But also him. He must have been in so much pain. Unless it wasn't suicide but...ugh just awful.

 

[Gone Girl]

I agree Bears..this is why I hate when people say a victim would never do such and such. In my experience, it is not easy to truly know what anyone would do, even oneself

 

[bears10]

Very true and he may have taken the 2 bus passes in an effort to throw off his wife so he wouldn't be found immediately. This entire situation is sooo sad and depressing.

He def could have taken two to throw her off. Or he could have truly had 8 and she was just grasping at straws trying to keep her mind from wandering to the more negative outcomes. I have a feeling something happened on that vaca and she knew the truth deep down inside but understandably pushed the thoughts from her head. I can't blame her. It was super strange that she said he made the comment about the laundry and then out of nowhere he was gone. Very telling that he seemingly slipped out of the house and didn't say anything to his wife about leaving. Even to lie and say he was taking a walk, heading into the office to get a head start on his emails before the work week starts, etc, just to buy himself some time. Kind of chilling to think about his neighbors say he was walking with a purpose. So sad.

 

[Jilliekay68]

I've been following Mark's disappearance closely, I don't have very much to add except to say it's very, very strange that they didn't find him sooner knowing the area and how heavily it's traveled. I'm shaken by this story and quite frankly confused. This is such a sad and tragic ending...there is obviously a lot we don't know about this situation.

 

[DQN]

His wife never said he took 2 bus tickets. She said 2 were missing from his 10 pak so she assumed he did, but she did not actually see them in his hand or on his person when he left.

 

[bears10]

I agree Bears..this is why I hate when people say a victim would never do such and such. In my experience, it is not easy to truly know what anyone would do, even oneself

I hate it too. I think a lot of times families say that because 1) they don't want to believe that could be the outcome and 2) they don't want people to take the case less seriously if they think it's a suicide

I could be depressed, a drug addict, in an abusive situation, etc and my coworkers, clients and neighbors wouldn't know if I'm good at putting on a show - which many people in those situations are pros at doing. People can be very good at putting on a happy face even when their lives are less than happy. I urge everyone to please never assume that someone would "never do that"- be it suicide, abandoning their family, committing a crime, etc.

 

[bears10]

His wife never said he took 2 bus tickets. She said 2 were missing from his 10 pak so she assumed he did, but she did not actually see them in his hand or on his person when he left.

Correct but she was insistent that he would not have only had 8 so there must have been 10 and he took two with him.

ETA I don't recall her ever saying there was a 10 pack. does NJT even sell 10 packs? I never commuted to the city via bus. I recall her saying that he was the type of person who would have made sure he had 10 tickets so he was set for the full week and never would have only bought for 4 days.

 

[DQN]

I'm so sad. Why Mark why? His poor family. But also him. He must have been in so much pain. Unless it wasn't suicide but...ugh just awful.

It's very sad and painful for his family and people that knew him. When someone has depression problems, on our worst day x 50 we still wouldn't be in their state. Imagine the sadness of it that they want to take their own lives. I don't think we can even imagine.

 

[DQN]

Correct but she was insistent that he would not have only had 8 so there must have been 10 and he took two with him.

ETA I don't recall her ever saying there was a 10 pack. does NJT even sell 10 packs? I never commuted to the city via bus. I recall her saying that he was the type of person who would have made sure he had 10 tickets so he was set for the full week and never would have only bought for 4 days.

That's true I referred to it as a pak because he bought them in 10's for the week, not sure if they actually come in paks.

 

[Sunshine1984]

Six months ago my cousin shot himself in the woods near his home. The only one who knew about his depression was his sister, who was sworn to secrecy as he did not want others to know. She of course never guessed he would take it so far. Looking back, he may not have been jumping for joy at gatherings, but never ever did he let anyone guess he was depressed. At all.

Please be kind, as Mark's family may read this thread at some point. No need to add to their burden by posting pure, and very negative, guesses at why this happened.

So much love and light to all of Mark's friends and family at this heartbreaking time. Godspeed, Mark. 💟💟💟

 

[Songbird171]

Correct but she was insistent that he would not have only had 8 so there must have been 10 and he took two with him.

ETA I don't recall her ever saying there was a 10 pack. does NJT even sell 10 packs? I never commuted to the city via bus. I recall her saying that he was the type of person who would have made sure he had 10 tickets so he was set for the full week and never would have only bought for 4 days.

Yes NJ Transit sells 10 packs at a discount. Common among the 5 days a week commuters. There are also monthly passes but not everyone uses those because unless you commute nearly every day including weekends it doesn't make sense.

 

[yonay]

He def could have taken two to throw her off. Or he could have truly had 8 and she was just grasping at straws trying to keep her mind from wandering to the more negative outcomes. I have a feeling something happened on that vaca and she knew the truth deep down inside but understandably pushed the thoughts from her head. I can't blame her. It was super strange that she said he made the comment about the laundry and then out of nowhere he was gone. Very telling that he seemingly slipped out of the house and didn't say anything to his wife about leaving. Even to lie and say he was taking a walk, heading into the office to get a head start on his emails before the work week starts, etc, just to buy himself some time. Kind of chilling to think about his neighbors say he was walking with a purpose. So sad.

Yes. for instance I thought it odd that she said in one article, that she felt he went to and from the city, that she felt he was close to home and that she thought he stopped in the city first. that "first" always concerned me. First before what? first before going missing? it seemed odd.

 

[Spider92]

Such a sad sad ending to this case. I was holding out hope that he just needed to get away for a breather. Ive got a fair amount of life experiences with those suffering from mental illnesses but have never seen what seems to be a serious case go completely undetected. I wonder if there was a trigger and I wonder if LE can trace his activities to determine when he made such an awful decision.
As for the long delay in finding him, I've seen a lot of recent cases on WS where "exhaustive" searchs completely missed the missing person....cases in ME, MA and PA. And I think the tracking dogs are useless. In fact, I've seen cases where the dogs misdirect LE, resulting in delays like the one we've seen here. In any event, so sorry for Mark and his family and I'll be scratching my head over this one for a while. Ive seen way too many cases end this way lately.

 

[LoveXinfinity]

MS probably had been acting different for some time, but his wife and children probably wrote it off as stress at work or as his wife had mentioned his stressful commute. The signs usually are there, but realistically who wants to face the fact that their family member is chronically depressed or unhappy? Sometimes we are so caught up in the everyday rigors of working, paying bills, raising a family or just surviving for that matter that it's easy to overlook the signs. My mother and I were just speaking about how women are more apt to seek help with depression than men, which I find to be a true statement. Men are raised to be strong physically, mentally, and told boys don't cry- I guess men might view seeking help as being not manly. For all we know he could have suffered years of on & off chronic depression and just dealt with it. With that being said it's very possible that nothing happened on the trip and they had a great time, but MS was a ticking time bomb dealing with depression. He may have even planned before the trip to commit suicide after the trip. From my personal experience I always preach to people about how you never know what someone is going through. The happy go lucky person with the nicest demeanor and always a kind word and smile on their face can easily be the person battling an emotional war inside.

 

[LoveXinfinity]

Such a sad sad ending to this case. I was holding out hope that he just needed to get away for a breather. Ive got a fair amount of life experiences with those suffering from mental illnesses but have never seen what seems to be a serious case go completely undetected. I wonder if there was a trigger and I wonder if LE can trace his activities to determine when he made such an awful decision.
As for the long delay in finding him, I've seen a lot of recent cases on WS where "exhaustive" searchs completely missed the missing person....cases in ME, MA and PA. And I think the tracking dogs are useless. In fact, I've seen cases where the dogs misdirect LE, resulting in delays like the one we've seen here. In any event, so sorry for Mark and his family and I'll be scratching my head over this one for a while. Ive seen way too many cases end this way lately.

As much as I'd like to say law enforcement dropped the ball, they did the best to their abilities. I was telling my boyfriend who lives in the south about the story and he was astonished how law enforcement missed the body in the search. He mentioned maybe during the initial search the body wasn't there which is possible, but let's be real, how often does the Oradell PD or any other PD in a surrounding jurisdiction deal with legit missing person cases? I'm sure with the low crime rate the most they deal with is a routine traffic stop.

 

[TruthIsStranger]

Last week or so a man named Ken Draper was found in his affluent neighborhood under a neighbor's bush. He was missing a week or so. The smell alerted the homeowner. He'd left his house with no cell, wallet, keys, too, and apparently they'd searched the area, too. The wife says she had no hint that anything was wrong. Successful family guy, too. The homes were nice but close together, so it's oddly similar.

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[LoveXinfinity]

Last week or so a man named Ken Draper was found in his affluent neighborhood under a neighbor's bush. He was missing a week or so. The smell alerted the homeowner. He'd left his house with no cell, wallet, keys, too, and apparently they'd searched the area, too. The wife says she had no hint that anything was wrong. Successful family guy, too. The homes were nice but close together, so it's oddly similar.


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The beginning of last year a co-worker was the victim of a murder-suicide. Her husband shot her in her sleep, called the cops and then shot himself. Everyone said they didn't see it coming and that they were a beautiful couple always seen together holding hands and walking their dogs. Later in the year another co-workers husband committed suicide. In that situation also they never saw it coming.

Unfortunately with depression many people suffer in silence😢.

 

[TruthIsStranger]

I agree that he seemed so nice and happy and adored from the outside at least. His wife seemed cool and fun and well-suited to him with her theatrical background, his adult kids seemed well-adjusted, successful (and beautiful/handsome to boot). It seems like he would have had such a nice future ahead of him with grandkids and more trips and paling around with his Manhattan theatre clients and friends (and doing yoga). What a mystery! All I can think is that he had a mental illness that had previously been well-contr. olled and now wasn't (sometimes other countries don't allow certain meds--maybe he had to go off then for the trip?) Or, he came home and got some really devastating news. His wife speculated that he'd gone into the city and back with the two bus tickets (tying up loose ends at work?). No matter what theory I think of, it still doesn't make sense given his character and background. He left with no word, no phone, no keys, etc. and a bag (so exercise seems out of the question) so it seems like something emotional was driving him.

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[esldanmac]

Wow I had a bad feeling about Mark this morning and I dreaded looking at the site tonight. So sorry songbird i know you joined the site just for Mark. As far as not finding Mark it is amazing how you can walk by something hidden in the bushes and never see it unless you walk on it. But I can't say i am surprised that LE didn't conduct an "extensive search" because they never do for missing adults until after a few days. I am betting Mark went just far enough away that he could be somewhat easy to find. I am glad his end wasn't violent. I am devasted for his wife that their last convo was about a dirty laundry room. But when you are depressed all you see is the bad. I wish it were different. Xo D

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[pamelado2]

So strange that he was found right off a main road when a more wooded area was right behind the Care One building

http://www.northjersey.com/story/ne...ent-agent-found-oradell-police-say/599459001/

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