Here is a passage from an on article on new research regarding perfectionism in and suicide:
"Adaptability seems to be the outstanding difference in the link between perfectionism and suicide. As was mentioned earlier, four defining characteristics emerged from Kiamanesh’s research: 1) success-driven personality, 2) fear of failure, 3) keeping up false appearances, and 4) rigidity.
Just under the surface of their successful façades was a maelstrom of emotional conflict and turmoil.
Now, by all accounts, family and friends who were interviewed described their deceased loved ones as high-functioning, successful, personally well-adjusted men right up until the moment they killed themselves. But the research reveals that something far more dark and insidious was at work. Just under the surface of their successful façades was a maelstrom of emotional conflict and turmoil.
At this intersection between expectation and performance, adaptability becomes vital for the perfectionist, especially regarding lowering standards where necessary. Noticeably missing from maladaptive perfectionist’s common features is the mental flexibility needed to overcome interpersonal challenges associated with perfectionism."
Bears....you don't have to hide how you feel. And don't be embarrassed about oversharing - there is no such thing!!