Found Deceased NY - Avonte Oquendo, 14, Long Island City, 4 Oct 2013

[Max17]

Body parts found along the shore of the East River in Queens have been matched by DNA to Avonte Oquendo, the teen who went missing more than three months ago, the NYPD confirmed Tuesday.

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/loca...to-Missing-Teen-Avonte-Oquendo-241322861.html

 

[rachaellouise]

Poor baby. My heart goes out to his family, especially his mother and brother who relentlessly searched for him, never giving up.

 

[Wolf Dreamer]

I'm relieved that his poor family at least will have Avonte home with them. Hope that they can get some answers as to his fate.

RIP Avonte.

 

[nycgrl]

RIP Avonte

 

[sidneyia]

Re: his shoes being tied tightly - I am mildly autistic and I had to have my shoes laced extremely tightly as a child because being able to feel my feet moving around inside my shoes triggered my sensory defensiveness. In addition, a lot of sensory-defensive kids would prefer not to wear shoes at all, so tying them super tight might be a safeguard against him kicking them off and losing them.

This is such a hearbreaking case. I really hope the discrepancies with the shoes and underwear turn out to have innocent explanations.

 

[SheWhoMustNotBeNamed]

RIP Avonte.

 

[ohhieliz]

My deepest condolences to Avonte's family. I'm heartbroken to hear that he was found deceased. Rest in peace, sweet boy.

 

[margarita25]

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/loca...to-Missing-Teen-Avonte-Oquendo-241322861.html

From this link:
"The flow of the East River, which is actually a tidal strait and not a river, changes direction with the tide, so it could have flowed from nearby Avonte's school to the place where the parts were found."
*******

"Perecman has a press conference scheduled for later today."

 

[hot cawfeee]

My most heartfelt prayers for this little guy and for his family.

 

[kimi_SFC]

I raced to this thread upon receiving this alert, my stomach in knots, my heart in my throat. It isn't Wednesday yet, I thought. It can't be! People have been posting RIP Avonte since the remains have been found, but my denial was already kicking in. No, not yet, it's too soon. Even though logic has been whispering in my ear as word of the forensic findings have been posted in MSM, the mother in me refused to process what the sleuther in me knew would likely be true.

Through tears and a pain in my heart and soul I cannot even begin to describe, I type these words to you here, knowing you share in my grief - for a beautiful, precious, priceless young child who disappeared out the front doors into broad daylight never to be seen again. My heart, or what's left of it, is shattered for his family, who have tirelessly fought against all odds to be reunited to a living, breathing Avonte.

Today, those dreams were extinguished, with such immeasurable finality that I find myself breathless. I cannot find any measure of closure for them in this moment. There are too many unanswered questions for that. I can only hope they find some semblance of peace at being able to bring their baby home.

Fly high Forever Angel Avonte!
:rose:


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[mck16]

I also want to acknowledge what you said Brian-teaching a child who has Autism is hard. It's dang hard. And it's draining. I have had kids hit me, kick me, spit on me, head-butt me, run their fingers through their butt-crack and wipe it on me, run from me, and completely ignore me.Sometimes I want to cry. But foremost in my thoughts at every moment is the idea that this child is someone's baby. Out in the world. Under my care. And I have a responsibility for not only their learning, but their safety.

Please understand I am asking this question because I have absolutely no idea how to care for an autistic child. I have read so many posts here about behaviour that is so dangerous as well as outrageous (bolded above), that I am wondering if there is any punishment acceptable to stop this behaviour or at least convey the danger and incorrectness of it. tia

 

[margarita25]

One of my autistic students went on a family holiday to the Coastline last Christmas. I gave him a stern lecture on not going near the water alone after he expressed an interest to me in "deep sea fishing". His response to my lecture was so cute and sweet....he said something along the lines of "oh, no, don't worry, I'm going to get to see my baby cousin and I'm going to be busy watching him & keeping him safe". :heart:

Another one of my autistic students ran full speed through the woods last year. His family got to him just in time. He had jumped into a frozen lake.

Just the other day, the same student whom I mentioned above who talked about "deep sea fishing" said he likes to go deep in the woods to look for rare, precious metals. That they exist deep in the trees. I had a stern lecture with him about not going in the woods alone. He said he "never goes off the trails".

Thank you for posting the dogs for autism link above.

I hope Avonte's tragedy will help bring about more awareness.

 

[AshleyZ86]

This is so sad. I hoped he would come home safe. This really hits home because I have an autistic little cousin.

 

[Teche]

RIP Avonte! Prayers for his family.

 

[HauntsForHope]

The memorial service will be HUGE!

 

[Hejlena]

Please understand I am asking this question because I have absolutely no idea how to care for an autistic child. I have read so many posts here about behaviour that is so dangerous as well as outrageous (bolded above), that I am wondering if there is any punishment acceptable to stop this behaviour or at least convey the danger and incorrectness of it. tia

It's a fair question. And I'm certainly no expert, but I am a firm believer in helping students with Autism learn that these kinda of behaviors are not ok. I'd say the majority of students who I've seen display these behaviors are young and nonverbal. IMO, many times these lashing out behaviors stem from an inability to communicate. We had a sweet seven year old come to us this year who would flip out a kick and scream and hit and then try to run out of the room for-we thought-no reason. We realized quickly that she was doing this when she had to pee. We systematically taught her to take a "bathroom" tag that was velcroed to the wall and bring it to us when she had to go. She has since worked very hard to learn to say, "I want bathroom". No more bathroom fights.

We have a time out chair. We have social skills practice. And we learn how to quickly get out of the way

Eta: it's a hard question to answer because every child is different and there are so many aspects to behavior.

 

[Nugget]

RIP Avonte. May your family find answers. You're home now, baby boy. :sick:

 

[Roselvr]

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/loca...to-Missing-Teen-Avonte-Oquendo-241322861.html

Really wish the people writing the stories would be considerate of his family reading; did we really need to reread everything? Couldn't they express condolences somewhere?

I have heard that some schools will change undergarments if they become soiled, and sometimes keep a supply on hand (not always supplied by parents - or properly matched to the correct child after laundering) -- I realize this is broad speculation, but perhaps the underwear can be attributed to the school rather than a predator

I should have copied some of the discussion too when I quoted the post; because it's probably what happened but as far as we know; there is no log of them changing him. Could be why he bolted too.

I'd be surprised to hear he doesn't have his own clothing there to change into. I would think the school would ask for a change or 2 of clothing in case of accidents.

I raced to this thread upon receiving this alert, my stomach in knots, my heart in my throat. It isn't Wednesday yet, I thought. It can't be! People have been posting RIP Avonte since the remains have been found, but my denial was already kicking in. No, not yet, it's too soon. Even though logic has been whispering in my ear as word of the forensic findings have been posted in MSM, the mother in me refused to process what the sleuther in me knew would likely be true.

Through tears and a pain in my heart and soul I cannot even begin to describe, I type these words to you here, knowing you share in my grief - for a beautiful, precious, priceless young child who disappeared out the front doors into broad daylight never to be seen again. My heart, or what's left of it, is shattered for his family, who have tirelessly fought against all odds to be reunited to a living, breathing Avonte.

Today, those dreams were extinguished, with such immeasurable finality that I find myself breathless. I cannot find any measure of closure for them in this moment. There are too many unanswered questions for that. I can only hope they find some semblance of peace at being able to bring their baby home.

Fly high Forever Angel Avonte!
:rose:

Beautifully said.
I was surprised it came back today too; thought the same thing. I wish they could have given his mom one more day to prepare for the news. As hard as it is for us to hear one day early; as a mother; I can't imagine her pain right now.

I'm relieved his family is now able to lay him to rest; but really sad for the way everything happened. I hope Avonte can rest a little "easier" now; until answers come.

 

[lillygator]

is foul play suspected?

 

[Roselvr]

It's a fair question. And I'm certainly no expert, but I am a firm believer in helping students with Autism learn that these kinda of behaviors are not ok. I'd say the majority of students who I've seen display these behaviors are young and nonverbal. IMO, many times these lashing out behaviors stem from an inability to communicate. We had a sweet seven year old come to us this year who would flip out a kick and scream and hit and then try to run out of the room for-we thought-no reason. We realized quickly that she was doing this when she had to pee. We systematically taught her to take a "bathroom" tag that was velcroed to the wall and bring it to us when she had to go. She has since worked very hard to learn to say, "I want bathroom". No more bathroom fights.

We have a time out chair. We have social skills practice. And we learn how to quickly get out of the way

Eta: it's a hard question to answer because every child is different and there are so many aspects to behavior.

I'm surprised that tablet PC's aren't used more. They are giving many people voices that can't communicate.