Found Deceased NY - Robert, 73, & Mary Ross, 72, Perinton, 30 Jan 2018

[Abigail]

https://www.pressconnects.com/video...-couple-would-home-time-he-arrived/110326468/

in this clip, son Robert said that before they went missing, the couple were getting phone calls around the clock from concerned friends who'd just found out about the cancer diagnosis, and this was wearing them out, so they had set the phone to go straight to voice mail. He said at first he'd thought they just needed to get away for a little while, but the cats were left unattended, and he also said he checked their emails, and nothing there like reservations for someplace or anything.

 

[ElementalLaura]

I don't think it's voluntary, and I hope I'm wrong. Although choosing to depart this earth on one's own terms is a possibility, I can't see doing so by mysteriously disappearing (vs, say, leaving a letter) and leaving the pets without care.

If he decided to forego treatment and live the remainder of his (likely shortened) life to the fullest, he's an adult and can refuse medical treatment. I don't see why he or they would feel the need to disappear.

Robert was last seen Jan. 30 at a medical appointment. I get the impression his treatments had recently started, or Jan. 30 may have been the first one? I wonder if it's confirmed that Mary did NOT accompany him. Sometimes there is a waiting room outside of the radiation treatment center, and the patient will proceed in by himself while companions wait (IME, companions can usually accompany patients to chemotherapy treatments, but I'm not sure in this case). In one of the first articles posted, it states that they left their home the morning of the 31st but never made it to the medical appointment. Was the ATM activity on the 31st? How do they know they went missing the 31st vs the 30th other than the medical appointment?

 

[Abigail]

Robert was last seen Jan. 30 at a medical appointment. I get the impression his treatments had recently started, or Jan. 30 may have been the first one? I wonder if it's confirmed that Mary did NOT accompany him. Sometimes there is a waiting room outside of the radiation treatment center, and the patient will proceed in by himself while companions wait (IME, companions can usually accompany patients to chemotherapy treatments, but I'm not sure in this case). In one of the first articles posted, it states that they left their home the morning of the 31st but never made it to the medical appointment. Was the ATM activity on the 31st? How do they know they went missing the 31st vs the 30th other than the medical appointment?

One article mentioned Robert was seen leaving Strong Hospital after the appointment on Jan 30, but no mention of Mary being with him. In the area where radiation treatment is given at Strong, companions generally wait in waiting room.

ETA: diagnosis of terminal brain tumor for Robert made in mid-January. Given 6 to 18 months to live. They'd been getting non-stop phone calls from friends, which was sorta driving them nuts -- maybe a reason to get away for a little while...but they left the 4 cats at home - they were nearly starved when police got to house about a week later.

Not clear on what day ATM activity -- I think articles just say "end of January."

Mary made a phone call to the hospital (or doctor's office?) around 3 PM on Jan 31. Her phone pinged to Lake Avenue in Charlotte, right where the boat launch area is. ETA - son said there was a sighting of their car that day in Charlotte.

For those not familiar with the area, Charlotte is nowhere near where they would have been going for a doctor appointment. If they were going from their home in Perinton to the hospital, they would have traveled northwest for about 13 miles to Brighton where the hospital is (and doctors offices in that area as well). Charlotte is about 9 miles due north of the hospital area (following the river up). It's on the shores of Lake Ontario -- not on the way TO anywhere..except the beach and river.

 

[Abigail]

Scuba divers back out today in area of boat launch in river, and also in river from Pattonwood bridge on up to the lake. Much better weather today -- snow melting and ice breaking up.

I swung by Turning Point park on way home from work. There WAS a white SUV in the parking lot but the license plate was wrong, and there was a young guy doing something with one of the rear tires. I wanted to take a look at that wide path that goes down from the parking lot to the river -- it is wide enough for a car, but there is a gate there -- the kind of gate where there's room for people to get through but not a vehicle. I wondered how easy it would be to open the gate, but didn't take time to check it out as had to get home before the school bus. The path has about 4 inches of snow that hasn't melted yet, with lots of footprints, but didn't see any evidence of a vehicle going down the path. Several other cars in parking lot today, but a beautiful day today, nice for walking - the park would have probably been empty or nearly so on Jan 31, as it was cold, in upper 20's, and the snow would have been deep on the paths as we'd gotten a big storm not long before.

 

[ElementalLaura]

Thanks, Abigail. That makes sense. I wonder whether Mary's phone call was before or after Robert's scheduled medical appointment. Did the call go through? Did she call to cancel the appointment? I know these are likely rhetorical questions. I'm not local, but I did look up the driving routes based on the media information. As you mention, if they had a car accident that caused their vehicle to go into the river, it seems like that would have happened closer to the hospital, which brings us back to why they would have been in Charlotte.

I hate to say it, but one possibility could be that they did want to end their lives together without it being seen as suicide for religious or other reasons. This thought makes me quite sad, even though I personally believe it should be an individual right for those who are terminally ill.

 

[Abigail]

http://13wham.com/news/local/investigators-scuba-team-searching-genesee-river-for-missing-couple

Search crews found a vehicle in the Genesee River on Wednesday afternoon during a search for a missing couple from Perinton.

The couple's son tells 13WHAM News that investigators believe the vehicle could belong to his parents - Robert and Mary Ross.

 

[Abigail]

Live report now. Car (they're almost sure it's their's) found just next to Pelican's Nest restaurant. There's a boat launch just next (south) of the restaurant. Believed they drove off there, and then the current carried them down a little bit until the car sunk and stuck in mud just next to Pelican's Nest. The restaurant is closed in the winter, so no one would have likely been around that day.

Plan is to extract the car tomorrow. Too late in the day now -- will be getting dark soon.

ETA: apparently haven't confirmed if anyone in car, but they asked the media NOT to film the car being extracted tomorrow, out of respect for family.

 

[AzPistonsGirl]

how sad and scary, no matter what IMO. Maybe the call to the doctor was to let them know their intentions and the doctor was not allowed to say anything (until they were found) due to privacy laws... idk... it's just such a sad day at WS...

I am not saying I think this was suicide... just tossing out ideas...

 

[ElementalLaura]

My respect to the divers who continued searching through such difficult circumstances. I'm assuming there's a strong likelihood they've found them.

I just noticed in a recent article that ran a missing alert that Robert was described as "may not be able to communicate efficiently." What a terrible blow his diagnosis, and, even more so, his impending dependency upon others, must have been for someone with 30 years in the Navy, followed by an engineering career with Xerox.

Rest in peace, Robert and Mary.

 

[houndpounder]

I don't think it was voluntary, he had brain cancer I do not know what part of his brain was mostly affected. But his behavior may be far from normal as well as motor skills, speech, reading, etc. He probably should not have been even driving. I had a friend with brain cancer he never stopped at a red light and rammed another car from behind, his motor skills did not allow him to stop. Thank God no one was hurt. After that he realized he shouldn't be driving.

Robert could have drove into the water without even realizing what he was doing. So sad.

 

[Abigail]

Robert could have drove into the water without even realizing what he was doing. So sad.

If it were somewhere else...maybe. Like a place to just sit and look at the water, and then...

But...where the Pelican's Nest is...it's really quite private, especially in the winter, when the restaurant is closed...but there's a sort of a private parking area surrounded by an embankment, and there isn't really anything else there, and you can't really see the water from the parking lot because the restaurant building is in the way...so, what I'm saying is that there's not really a good reason to go down there into the parking lot to begin with when the restaurant is closed.

The boat launch is right at the end of the restaurant building, and then there's another building (that I think is owned by the Pelican's Nest) just on the other side -- so the launch is just like 6 feet or so of a slip, wedged in between 2 buildings. They said that they'd have to have been entering the water at a fair rate of speed because they had to get 30 feet or so out from the shore, because on the river side of the restaurant, there's docks going out (people coming and going from the lake can tie up their boats and eat at the restaurant), and the car they found got past those docks...

So, the question is why did they go to Charlotte to begin with? And why did they take that little road down to the Pelican's Nest parking lot? The parking lot most likely was full of snow -- I doubt it gets plowed in the winter, when the restaurant is closed. It all seems a rather intentional plan. Especially given the terminal brain cancer, and Mary apparently having some sort of condition where she had been depending on Robert as a caregiver.

 

[Seajay]

Was he the one driving the vehicle or was she?

 

[houndpounder]

Robert had terminal brain cancer.
-He should not have been his wife's care giver.
-He should not have been driving.

This entire incident could have been caused by his brain cancer. IN VOLUNTARILY not knowing where he was going or what he was doing.
He had terminal brain cancer.

The following symptoms and warning signs are the most common of brain cancer:

• Paresthesias,
• Clumsiness,
• Difficulty walking, with weakness and/or fatigue of arms and legs
• Seizures

Other nonspecific brain cancer symptoms and signs include the following:

• Altered mental status: changes in concentration, memory, attention, or alertness and/or mental confusion
• Abnormalities in vision (for example, double vision, blurred vision, loss of peripheral vision)

​

In many people, the onset of these symptoms is very gradual and may be overlooked by both the person with the brain tumor and the person's family members, even for long time periods. Occasionally, however, these symptoms appear more rapidly. In some instances, the person acts as if he or she is having a stroke. .

 

[Gardener1850]

[h=1]Missing Perinton couple’s SUV lifted from Genesee River[/h]

Divers went into the water Thursday morning and were able to confirm the license plate reads ‘BLUSTERY’ because Robert used to be a weatherman in the Navy.
Dive teams and investigators have lifted the SUV belonging to Robert and Mary Ross, the missing Perinton couple, from the bottom of the Genesee River.
Divers went into the water Thursday morning and were able to confirm the license plate reads ‘BLUSTERY’ because Robert used to be a weatherman in the Navy.
The medical examiner is on scene. It’s unclear at this time whether Robert or Mary Ross were in their SUV when it went into the water nearly two weeks ago.

http://www.monroecopost.com/news/20180215/missing-perinton-couples-suv-lifted-from-genesee-river

 

[AzPistonsGirl]

Robert had terminal brain cancer.
-He should not have been his wife's care giver.
-He should not have been driving.
[/FONT]

RSBM: If i recall, his diagnosis was relatively recent, so he had been her caregiver until then, when the roles reversed a bit out of necessity.

 

[moonriverfarm]

Just heartbreaking.

 

[Gardener1850]

[h=1]Baxter: Bodies inside vehicle believed to be Robert, Mary Ross of Perinton[/h]

Two bodies have been found in the submerged car of a missing Perinton couple — a Kia Sorrento that was lodged in the muck of the Genesee River and pulled to shore Thursday.

The bodies are believed to be Robert and Mary Ross, who have been missing since late January. However, Sheriff Todd Baxter said Thursday, the identities have yet to be confirmed.

"It appears to be Mr. and Mrs. Ross, but obviously we cannot confirm that until the medical examiner confirms that for us," Baxter said.
Members of the Monroe County Sheriff's Office scuba team located the vehicle Wednesday while searching the Genesee River near the Pelican's Nest restaurant in Charlotte.

https://www.democratandchronicle.co...est-charlotte-investigation-update/340030002/

So sad. RIP Mr and Mrs. Ross :rose::rose:

 

[Abigail]

There's a lighthouse on the bluff overlooking the Pelican's Nest restaurant, the river and the lake. And that lighthouse has a "weatherbug" camera in it that takes time lapse photos. Here's a link to the lighthouse photos for this evening:

https://www.weatherbug.com/weather-camera/?cam=RCGLH

This camera has an archive of photos...one per hour. So, this article shows photos taken of the parking lot at 10 am, 11 am, noon, 1 pm and 2 pm. In the photos there's a white SUV in the parking lot that appears to be the one in question. And, in the 10 am shot, a couple appear to be standing by the car. So, if this was the Ross vehicle, it was parked in the parking lot for hours before it went into the river.
http://www.whec.com/news/image-show...n-of-missing-perinton-couple/4789950/?cat=565

 

[PetDetective]

Didn’t she make a phone call at 3pm?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[ElementalLaura]

I’m not sure why they would spend three+ hours in the parking lot. Can they tell whether they were in the car (or if the car was running) for the photos where they aren’t visible standing outside? Honestly, the only thing I can think is that they were deciding what to do and that the location had some meaning to them that their son didn’t know about. My thoughts only.

I don’t know how many would choose this as their end. If I were clear-minded and considering this, I would at least want to have my life companion be sedated (and myself!). Still so much mystery.