NY - Sex offender caught in bed with friend's 7-year-old

[mikeysmommom]

kbl and AutomaticAuttie--I'm curious. Are you truly saying that you'd kill someone who abused your child? Really? Or just want to? Believe me, I understand the urge.

Being that I've dealt with that very issue (8 times over) and lived with the after effects for the last twelve years, I feel I need to caution you. Children who have been raped desperately need their families. The very last thing you want to happen is for a child's loved ones and protectors to end up in prison for murder or even assault.

Let the police, the DA's office, and the Children's Advocacy Center do what they do best. You want to be there with your child while they're healing. They need you.

I strongly advocate for calling the police and going the trial route. It's a lot more child friendly, in the long run IMO.

Very wise words..................

 

[ziggy]

If you killed someone in that situation it would not likely land you charged with murder - more like voluntary manslaughter and depending on your record, you might do very little time. I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often.

 

[Openmind]

In theory the voters determine it by electing the people making the laws. But this is not a primary concern for most voters, no one wants to fund it (like the registry is cheap) and when you start talking about locking these people up for life every case where a person who is a sex offender for exposing themselves while peeing in public is used as the posterchild case for how this will be unfair and abused.

Of course the obvious answer to not locking up a 20 year old that slept with a 15 year old who said she was 17 is to make a capital sex offender catagory that is a one strike and you are out deal.

Molest a three year old- no second chances.
Adult rapes a child 12 and under no second chances.
Violent sex crimes against any aged victim- no second chances.
Nonviolent 20 year old with a 15 year old- one chance to show you were an idiot and not a predator. We can call it the Idiot registry because sex offenders should not be out roaming about!

But again this is not a primary concern for most voters.
Apparantly what we as a public really care about is whether our legislators approve of gay marriage, have had affairs, or smoked pot in college. You know things that really effect our day to day life......

So true, so true. It would take actual work, clear thinking, and commitment to sort it out. I think it could be done, but the government is more about reacting to crime rather than preventing or solving it.

LOL -- Idiot Registry. Again, so true, so true.

 

[Missizzy]

AutomaticAuttie--I looked also at Filly's link and I don't see proof that the family knew the man was a SO. Maybe there's something she saw that she didn't link to. Filly can you expound on this?

Ziggy--I do agree with you. If that isn't a crime of passion, what is? My point is that we are expected, as parents, to do the best by our children. If they've just been raped, I think we need to be present and available for them. If we've just killed a person, we're going to be dealing with a whole lot of issues and won't be able to concentrate on the child. But I do understand and respect the urge. Trust me.

 

[lonetraveler]

The deserved to be beat - and I'm sorry that his mugshot did not reflect such a beating took place.

As for killing him - I think that would be my first instinct, but I would hope that my normal good sense would take over. Doing such a thing in front of the child, in my opinion, would cause another very complex web of emotions to open up in the child. As Filly said, we, as children, always seem to think it is our fault anyway. So if the died in front of her eyes, well..... it just couldn't be good, kwim? But beating him... oh yeah!

I'm not sure how I feel about the parents. I wonder what story they believed about the 2007 incident? The only did a year in jail - maybe the parents really thought he was innocent and so had no fear for their daughter? I don't know - but if you think some dude was railroaded and yet they were convicted, and you are going to let them sleep at your house, as a parent - it is your duty to make sure your children are safe. That means either they sleep in your room or you sleep in theirs...... do not leave them unprotected.

Salem

This seems to be just the kind of guy you would take fishing.

 

[scandi]

This seems to be just the kind of guy you would take fishing.

Hi Lonetraveler, I just counted to 10 :angel: but what a pugnatious looking pervert. God help any child who has crossed his way. xox

 

[LadyL]

and again two words are all I have

firing squad

 

[Spurser]

I have often thought how I would handle this. I have no question how my husband would. He'd kill the animal. I wouldn't want that because I know that my children need both parents at home. But I would publicly state that if any prisoner chose to punish the animal that hurt my child, I would consider him a hero. I would send him cigarettes for life and any other luxury he was allowed to have in prison. Is that a crime? Could I go to jail for that?

 

[Salem]

If you killed someone in that situation it would not likely land you charged with murder - more like voluntary manslaughter and depending on your record, you might do very little time. I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often.

I think you are right ziggy. I think, in your own house, in your child's bedroom - I don't think you would do any time at all. A true crime of passion, in this particular case, I would think.

I do agree with MissIzzy's earlier post though, that it would interfere with your ability to be present and focused for your child because you would have to answer questions, be interrogated and what have you....

But man - what a horrible situation to find yourself and your child in...:furious:

Salem

 

[kbl8201]

This seems to be just the kind of guy you would take fishing.

only if its like the way al neri took fredo fishing at the end of godfather 2.........

 

[ziggy]

I think you are right ziggy. I think, in your own house, in your child's bedroom - I don't think you would do any time at all. A true crime of passion, in this particular case, I would think.

I do agree with MissIzzy's earlier post though, that it would interfere with your ability to be present and focused for your child because you would have to answer questions, be interrogated and what have you....

But man - what a horrible situation to find yourself and your child in...:furious:

Salem

I certainly hope I'm never put into that kind of position, because I am afraid that I would not be able to control the impulse to do that person a great deal of harm.

 

[VespaElf]

Charge the parents for child endangerment & neglect(for not beating the carp out of this guy before calling LE!)

 

[Filly]

I may have totally missed it but where does it say the parents knew this guy was a RSO?

AA, It didn't.

However, at two other links it said the parents "came home" and caught their "friend" in bed with their own child. They went out and left this man alone to watch this little baby doll.

Soooooooo, one would think if it's a good friend they knew about the guys priors. Hey, maybe they didn't. I doubt that though. Even if they didn't IMO they should have checked up on the guy before leaving him full access to thier child. Especially ALONE!

That being said he could have been a sex offender and never been caught. It could have been he had been caught and nobody pressed charges. Then we have our sex offenders who never offended yet. Someone's got to be their first. Bottom line is that he is on a Registry. He's their good buddy. They allow him to have access to their child when they're out someplace. In my posts I didn't call for their heads on a platter. I've learned it was up to me as a parent to protect my child because the law sure isn't going to.

So, whatever was so impotant that both parents had to leave the child alone with their "friend" who is on a sex registry must have been extremely important and somehwere they couldn't take along a child? Maybe they didn't feel like taking her along? Who knows? Now we all know though that we have yet another repeat offender. That registry is working wonders.


http://www.9wsyr.com/content/news/o...lly-abused-7-year/knsyBrCLEkuQuB-lGiQ3CQ.cspx

 

[Openmind]

One article said he had a one year conviction in 2007 for sexual misconduct. I wonder how much of that he actually served? Even so, if he was in jail the entire year, he has not been out of jail that long. Did the parents know his background? If they didn't, they still did not know him all that well. I know I come from a different generation, but no way would an adult man baby-sit my child -- male or female -- unless I knew them better than the back of my hand. Are people that trusting, stupid, reckless, or whatever else that they indirectly allow their child to victimized by a pervert?

I know there are many times parents cannot prevent their child from being abused, but there are times the parents are just neglectful and their child's innocence is stolen.

 

[Missizzy]

Concentric--You pondered what the arrest looked like. I have too. Why, I'm just sure the couple calmly asked the gentleman to wait at the kitchen table while they called LE and asked them to stop by and have a meet and greet with the guy. Yeah.

We didn't get to see a full body shot of the man. How do we know he really does have all his parts and pieces still attached in the original locations?

For all our bluster, I would actually hope that the parents raised the roof and that one went directly to the child while the other "escorted" the man into the other room and "held" him until LE arrived. Once again, at that moment, it's gotta be totally about the child. She needed support, comfort, love and assurance that she'd done nothing wrong.

It remains to be seen if these parents were negligent or merely horribly naive. We all know, though, that pedophiles "groom" the parents first. It's entirely possible that this child enjoyed this man's company and he offered to stay with her and watch a Disney movie (that'll get Filly) to give them a much needed break.

 

[IWannaKnow]

In theory the voters determine it by electing the people making the laws. But this is not a primary concern for most voters, no one wants to fund it (like the registry is cheap) and when you start talking about locking these people up for life every case where a person who is a sex offender for exposing themselves while peeing in public is used as the posterchild case for how this will be unfair and abused.

Of course the obvious answer to not locking up a 20 year old that slept with a 15 year old who said she was 17 is to make a capital sex offender catagory that is a one strike and you are out deal.

Molest a three year old- no second chances.
Adult rapes a child 12 and under no second chances.
Violent sex crimes against any aged victim- no second chances.
Nonviolent 20 year old with a 15 year old- one chance to show you were an idiot and not a predator. We can call it the Idiot registry because sex offenders should not be out roaming about!

But again this is not a primary concern for most voters.
Apparantly what we as a public really care about is whether our legislators approve of gay marriage, have had affairs, or smoked pot in college. You know things that really effect our day to day life......

:thumb: Great post! And I totally agree, you nailed it impatientredhead. Can we elect you to an official title, now instead of the bone-heads we have? :blowkiss:

 

[Filly]

Eugene Hayes said he's sorry.

Eugene Hayes blamed drugs and alcohol.

Eugene Hayes got eight years prison time.

Big whoop.

A little 7 year old girl has to live with the memory of this creep climbing in her bed in her own home. Poor little thing. I pray she is getting the best counseling.

http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2010/07/registered_sex_offender_sent_t.html