OH OH - Roberta 'Bobby' Snider, 70, Hartville, 4 Jan 2018 *Guilty*

  • #341
Sorry, I’m rambling. But I keep thinking of things.

Another thing that confuses me is hasn’t LE indicated they do believe he dumped her in the river? Is that what they really think or is it more placating PS to get more info?

If they do think she’s in the river, then I have to accept that PS at least drove her dead body around for at least a couple of days, regardless of manner of death.

Also, a question that’s puzzled me, did they have reservations at the hotel right across from Graceland? Doesn’t sound like it because he used Bobby’s credit card. And why use her card. But what I wondered is, is Graceland not that big of a tourist pull, or maybe only during certain times of the year, that if you wanted to stay right across the street you don’t even need a reservation? Just take your chances there’ll be a room?

IMO


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  • #342
Does anyone know where the obit was published?

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  • #343
Seejay- I can totally relate to your father doing dangerous things. My sister loved to cook, but towards the end of her living with us, I couldn't allow her to do it. Several times she would start cooking, then sit on her computer and post away on social media sites, meanwhile, dinner would be burning on the stove. One of my children was home at the time and was able to get the burning pot off the stove and the entire house was filled with smoke- meanwhile, she didn't even notice or smell the burning pot!

Another time, I let her cook while I was there- she was mixing odd ingredients together, then when she taste tested it, said it was gross and said she had no idea what was in it, but it was gross and she threw it away. The next time- she drained the potatoes and put them back on the stove and started mashing them, with the burner still on high, and almost burned the potato masher's cord! When I told her to take it off the stove because she would not only burn the potatoes but that the potato masher was about to catch fire, she claimed she did this all the time and to stop harping on her (she never did that before). So many different scenarios I could give. Her short term memory was shot, at best. She lost her cell phone for a couple of months, but whenever her kids would try to call her, she would tell them on FB in a private message that her battery was dead and she didn't get the call. It turns out, she put it in a purse that she never used (it was a gift that she hated, but she refused to throw it out) and had no idea how it got there.

She would buy some of her own food that she enjoyed and eat it all, such as an entire cake, then say that we ate it on her. She was really angry and belligerent, claiming we were liars, yet she would eat anything and everything of ours without issue, and it was fine and dandy, even if I bought something special for my kid- she would eat it all before they had a chance to have some, and then she would deny eating it even though we saw her eating it! One time, she bought coconut ice cream- a huge tub of it and ate it all. Then freaked out on us, saying we were pigs, how dare we not leave her any. None of us like coconut ice cream- as a matter of fact, we all hate coconut ice cream and I can honesty say, it's the one thing the entire family agrees on in terms of ice cream, but yep, we were accused of being liars and eating all of it. A lot of battles with her was with food, of all things. I had to get a second refrigerator because she kept loading up our first one with food sometimes she wouldn't even open- yet if we tried to throw it away because it was past the expiration date, she would literally freak out on us. Unless it was completely moldy, we could not throw it away.

She wasn't at a point yet where she would talk about people that didn't exist like my grandmother did, but she was confusing the past and present a lot. Stating things as facts when they didn't happen. Adding details from another story.

Seeing that I was her primary caretaker those years, she would get real angry if I went out with my husband or did something with one of my children. She constantly clung to me, had to be with me all the time, and if I went to take a shower downstairs, she would panic and ask my family where I was, even though I was still in the house and she had just talked to me moments before. This is why none of this makes sense to me. If his wife was with him daily, I would imagine it would have affected him terribly if she died on that road trip. It would throw his whole world off balance within an hour or two, at least.
 
  • #344
Does anyone know where the obit was published?

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I don’t think so flute4peace. I’m going to go back to find the post about it but I don’t believe it’s ever been clarified.

I wonder what rules, if any, govern an obituary posting? I mean if I’m mad at my best friend, can I just submit an obituary to the paper without any proof

(He really made me angry at Christmas and if I’d thought of this then, I might have done it. Less jail time than actually killing him, sorry just kidding).


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  • #345
My heart hurts for what you went through with your Dad, I’m sorry for that.

But it made me remember that a family friend of ours who developed dementia in her eighties became extremely violent toward the end. She had to be restrained physically to keep from hurting staff.

This was the nicest, sweetest, tiniest little old lady and she became this fighting, biting, spitting, cursing hellcat. That made me sadder than anything.

This made me wonder, if PS does have dementia, could it have made him violent enough to harm Bobby? But wouldn’t his condition have to be really advanced before violent symptoms became evident? I admit I don’t know enough, but our friend didn’t become violent until her disease had greatly progressed and she’d already been hospitalized for some time.

And I would imagine family would notice violent episodes long before he got to the point of flat out murder???

Every question makes more questions.

MOO


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That is so sad about your family friend- I have seen this happen myself, working in the field years back, Family would be astounded at how their loved one who never swore or said anything inappropriate, would start swearing and talking about sex like a teen would with a friend. It's also brutal for family to watch a gentle and kind soul become violent. It happens sporadically, too, without triggers most times, so it's not like you could say that the color yellow upset them and someone brought yellow flowers and it triggered the anger- it's just so random and unpredictable. They can go for days without incident, be talking kindly to a loved one, then all of the sudden, become angry at something that on they can see and hear in their minds.

Some of the take all their clothes off and run outside butt naked, even in the winter, like my poor cousin's Dad- my uncle was such a perfect gentleman, and we just loved and adored him. Yet in the middle of the night, he did that several times. They tried everything to keep him in the house at night, but somehow, he managed to get out without waking them!

Some of them take off on buses and trains, thinking they're going shopping or visiting old friends or family that has already passed away, get confused, and then a stranger has to help them out while they track down family. That was a tough decision for a friend of mine to make for her husband- she had no choice but to put him in a home for Alzheimer's patients after he found the keys to her car that were well hidden, he drove about 20 miles away to pick up something at the hardware store (he was not going to fix anything at the house, but in his mind, he thought he was), and some gentleman saw him wandering around aimlessly in the parking lot, looking for the car. He thought he rode in his old car from back in the 70's, so he went past her car several times without a shred of remembering that he came in her car. By the way, he was deemed unfit to drive, and this just happened randomly that day. The gentleman was concerned because he kept talking to himself and was obviously upset, but he had no ID on him, so it took awhile for the police to track my friend- she was at the hospital getting treatment herself.

So many sad stories out there- dementia is brutal not only for the person that has it but for the loved ones and friends that watch these changes and are powerless to stop it's progression.
 
  • #346
I've had reason to research dementia lately for my own personal life. The latest information says that the first indications of dementia are actually behavioral and not memory related.

A new set of tests have been developed to check for behavioral issues ahead of memory issues in detecting the early stages of dementia.

This was not how it was done on my family member a year and a half ago. And so she was diagnosed with early cognitive dysfunction, and no meds. However, scary things have been happening, and so I am going to schedule another appointment.

Anyway, I think this shows that despite the fact that he could find his way to Graceland and back, he could still actually have dementia.

https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/866652

"Alzheimer's disease and dementia may not just be a memory disorder, and we need to stop thinking about Alzheimer's disease as just a memory problem," Dr Carrillo told*Medscape Medical News.

"There are behavioral deficits that are associated with it. It may start with depression or anxiety or disorientation or aggression. I think [clinicians] have to think of behavioral symptoms as a potential [harbinger] of dementia and not just dismiss them or just prescribe a medication," she added.


And yes, it does note that some of these symptoms can be shared with other psychological disorders. The checklist is linked in the article as a pdf.

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  • #347
I don’t think so flute4peace. I’m going to go back to find the post about it but I don’t believe it’s ever been clarified.

I wonder what rules, if any, govern an obituary posting? I mean if I’m mad at my best friend, can I just submit an obituary to the paper without any proof

(He really made me angry at Christmas and if I’d thought of this then, I might have done it. Less jail time than actually killing him, sorry just kidding).


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They've been so vague with details. We don't even know what the man looks like- it would help if they posted a picture of him, maybe it would trigger a memory of someone that saw him on that trip- gas station, hotel customers, restaurants, etc that could help them put together some kind of timeline during the trip, and whether or not he was with someone else or was alone. Someone might even remember seeing a truck with garbage bags in it- any clue is better than no clue at this point. Why aren't they declaring him a POI at this point and posting his photo? He has already broke a law in Tennessee for disposing a body in the river. I know they don't have proof yet that this happened, but it is in his own words that he did that.

One way or the other, this man needs help. Whether medical or mental, something isn't right with him and for Bobby's sake and her family, it's time to take another direction in this case.
 
  • #348
Wow, just wow. What a case.

Like so many others, I have experience with a parents with dementia and a FIL with Alzheimer's. Those of you who have weighed in on what it is, what it does, how it manifests itself wth each individual parting is right on. Bring back so many memories of heartbreaking incidence.

At 70. PS could certain joy have it and it would tie into his stories and all the confusion.

He also can be a cunning murderer who thinks he can get away with it. Who knows? I'm sure LE is on top of this, checking out what they can verify. Dementia, terminal cancer, etc. it takes time.

In the meantime, it has come up in discussion about the kids not watching over hr,, family not involved in their care, especially if she was terminal and he has dementia.

My husband passed away in April. I asked my two children for a year to see how I do on my own. They both live in another state. After losing my husband, I did not want to give up my home, my friends, my life.

6 months after he passed, I discovered a lump in my breast. I have cancer. I am alone. My kids started circling the wagons, wanting me to leave my home, my doctors, my life.

I am in the beginning of my chemotherapy. Had my first round last week. They are in constant contact with me, Ready and alert to pull me out of here and move me to a God forsaken state I will hate.

I want my independence as long as I can have it without it being an inconvenience to anyone else. I have friends checking in on me, taking me to appointments, picking up meds.

I don't want my kids to give up their lives if they don't have to. They would in a minute, but I don't want the added guilt I would feel that I am causing them anything but the kind of lives I wanted for them. They know when I'm done, I'm done, I will tell them.

So maybe his is how it was for the Sniders. FWIW

You are in my prayers. I understand both your feelings and your children's feelings. worrying is easier for children if the subject of their concern is close by, can be seen and touched. Be strong, but know when you need to make a decision. Sending love your way.
 
  • #349
  • #350
Neurological syndromes which can be mistaken for psychiatric conditions

http://jnnp.bmj.com/content/76/suppl_1/i31

Note that several of these seem to have a sudden onset at 50-60+ age.

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  • #351
Parts of this discussion could be really useful to people who are just now going through this with family and friends, or wondering if this might be happening to someone they love.

So I have started an informational and support thread that I hope to get pinned in the jury room. I would appreciate if some of you could add your relevant bits, minus this case, to it at some point to help others, whether it's information on the disease, or personal experience that may help someone else.

https://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?t=364162

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  • #352
As far as I can tell, the only obit that exists is a photo someone posted in a FB comment, which normally wouldn't be considered evidence of much of anything here. The post does not say anything about the paper that the obit may have appeared in. The person who posted it does not post publicly to his FB account. He does state in his profile that he lives in Hartville, OH. If anyone has further information as to how this person is connected with the case or where he obtained the mysterious obituary photo, please share. Perhaps he'd be willing to become verified here?
 
  • #353
My heart hurts for what you went through with your Dad, I’m sorry for that.

But it made me remember that a family friend of ours who developed dementia in her eighties became extremely violent toward the end. She had to be restrained physically to keep from hurting staff.

This was the nicest, sweetest, tiniest little old lady and she became this fighting, biting, spitting, cursing hellcat. That made me sadder than anything.

This made me wonder, if PS does have dementia, could it have made him violent enough to harm Bobby? But wouldn’t his condition have to be really advanced before violent symptoms became evident? I admit I don’t know enough, but our friend didn’t become violent until her disease had greatly progressed and she’d already been hospitalized for some time.

And I would imagine family would notice violent episodes long before he got to the point of flat out murder???

Every question makes more questions.

MOO


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With my Dad, that's what it was like for awhile. He got violent. Then he got through to the other side of it, although while in the hospital he did have to be restrained but mostly that was so he wouldn't pull out any tubes that were attached to him. He threw daily/hourly fits about that. But by the time he was I never that phase, he didn't have a lot of the strength to follow through with any of his ideas.
 
  • #354
Seejay- I can totally relate to your father doing dangerous things. My sister loved to cook, but towards the end of her living with us, I couldn't allow her to do it. Several times she would start cooking, then sit on her computer and post away on social media sites, meanwhile, dinner would be burning on the stove. One of my children was home at the time and was able to get the burning pot off the stove and the entire house was filled with smoke- meanwhile, she didn't even notice or smell the burning pot!

Another time, I let her cook while I was there- she was mixing odd ingredients together, then when she taste tested it, said it was gross and said she had no idea what was in it, but it was gross and she threw it away. The next time- she drained the potatoes and put them back on the stove and started mashing them, with the burner still on high, and almost burned the potato masher's cord! When I told her to take it off the stove because she would not only burn the potatoes but that the potato masher was about to catch fire, she claimed she did this all the time and to stop harping on her (she never did that before). So many different scenarios I could give. Her short term memory was shot, at best. She lost her cell phone for a couple of months, but whenever her kids would try to call her, she would tell them on FB in a private message that her battery was dead and she didn't get the call. It turns out, she put it in a purse that she never used (it was a gift that she hated, but she refused to throw it out) and had no idea how it got there.

She would buy some of her own food that she enjoyed and eat it all, such as an entire cake, then say that we ate it on her. She was really angry and belligerent, claiming we were liars, yet she would eat anything and everything of ours without issue, and it was fine and dandy, even if I bought something special for my kid- she would eat it all before they had a chance to have some, and then she would deny eating it even though we saw her eating it! One time, she bought coconut ice cream- a huge tub of it and ate it all. Then freaked out on us, saying we were pigs, how dare we not leave her any. None of us like coconut ice cream- as a matter of fact, we all hate coconut ice cream and I can honesty say, it's the one thing the entire family agrees on in terms of ice cream, but yep, we were accused of being liars and eating all of it. A lot of battles with her was with food, of all things. I had to get a second refrigerator because she kept loading up our first one with food sometimes she wouldn't even open- yet if we tried to throw it away because it was past the expiration date, she would literally freak out on us. Unless it was completely moldy, we could not throw it away.

She wasn't at a point yet where she would talk about people that didn't exist like my grandmother did, but she was confusing the past and present a lot. Stating things as facts when they didn't happen. Adding details from another story.

Seeing that I was her primary caretaker those years, she would get real angry if I went out with my husband or did something with one of my children. She constantly clung to me, had to be with me all the time, and if I went to take a shower downstairs, she would panic and ask my family where I was, even though I was still in the house and she had just talked to me moments before. This is why none of this makes sense to me. If his wife was with him daily, I would imagine it would have affected him terribly if she died on that road trip. It would throw his whole world off balance within an hour or two, at least.

My Dad was like that with my Mom. He wouldn't let her out of his sight. She fell and broke her neck and was pretty much bedridden and he would ask a million times a day where "momma" was. I'd take him in there to see her, he'd demand she get up and make him something to eat. He'd try to pull her out of bed when she wouldn't get up, hurting her. It was a mess. We constantly had to keep them apart but he always wanted to be with her.

You are right that if Philip was that far gone with dementia, he wouldn't let Bobbie out of his sight. She was his lifeline, his sanity. Unless he couldn't realize she had passed, I could see him hauling her all over the place but at some point, he did know she had passed and dumped her. He knew she was dead. I would think that would have sent him int a grievInt, polarizing no panic he couldn't even move from, let alone get strength and wherewithal to shop for bags, lift her in them and dump her over the side of a river.
 
  • #355
As far as I can tell, the only obit that exists is a photo someone posted in a FB comment, which normally wouldn't be considered evidence of much of anything here. The post does not say anything about the paper that the obit may have appeared in. The person who posted it does not post publicly to his FB account. He does state in his profile that he lives in Hartville, OH. If anyone has further information as to how this person is connected with the case or where he obtained the mysterious obituary photo, please share. Perhaps he'd be willing to become verified here?

I could have sworn I read it in an article, that the obituary was posted. I know I saw the obituary, that's how I found out they had two sons. I honestly don't remember it being a FB post. Please know I am not doubting you at all, and it could be my own memory is lacking right now with this.
 
  • #356
  • #357
My Dad was like that with my Mom. He wouldn't let her out of his sight. She fell and broke her neck and was pretty much bedridden and he would ask a million times a day where "momma" was. I'd take him in there to see her, he'd demand she get up and make him something to eat. He'd try to pull her out of bed when she wouldn't get up, hurting her. It was a mess. We constantly had to keep them apart but he always wanted to be with her.

You are right that if Philip was that far gone with dementia, he wouldn't let Bobbie out of his sight. She was his lifeline, his sanity. Unless he couldn't realize she had passed, I could see him hauling her all over the place but at some point, he did know she had passed and dumped her. He knew she was dead. I would think that would have sent him int a grievInt, polarizing no panic he couldn't even move from, let alone get strength and wherewithal to shop for bags, lift her in them and dump her over the side of a river.

Something my sister did towards the end of her living with us that unnerved my husband quite a bit- we would be sleeping, and once or twice a night, she would open up our door and just stare at us. Then she would shut the door and go back to her room. One night he asked her why she was doing it, and she said she wanted to make sure that I was ok. He told her not to worry, if anything was wrong with me, he would take care of me. She still did it anyway- we ended up locking our door at night as it really bothered him- believe me, nothing phases this man. We could hear her trying to turn the knob every night, then hear her shuffle off to her room, other times she would knock on our door, to my husband's frustration. One time, she knocked so loud, she woke my son up across the hall, and he yelled at her because he was woken up out of a sound sleep and didn't realize what she was doing- he thought someone was breaking into the house. So even when I was sleeping, she was trying to find me.
 
  • #358
As far as I can tell, the only obit that exists is a photo someone posted in a FB comment, which normally wouldn't be considered evidence of much of anything here. The post does not say anything about the paper that the obit may have appeared in. The person who posted it does not post publicly to his FB account. He does state in his profile that he lives in Hartville, OH. If anyone has further information as to how this person is connected with the case or where he obtained the mysterious obituary photo, please share. Perhaps he'd be willing to become verified here?

Thinking back to this post about FB obituary- I wonder why someone else would post it? If it wasn't her husband, children, or other family members, then who? That seems a bit fishy, doesn't it? Does anyone know if the post is still on this thread, or was it removed?
 
  • #359
Even stranger....I found no follow up anywhere but in the comments under this post, there's a photograph of a newspaper obit for her. I couldn't find it online.
Real head scratcher here.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10157031799804922&id=41236779921

Bringing this forward. Please see comment by JY to this link. I haven't seen that this has appeared in MSM or that anyone has been able to find the original source, but I may well have missed a post. I'll continue going through the thread.

ETA: the post with the photo is still on FB.
 
  • #360
Here is a thread for discussions re dementia and related issues: https://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?364162-Alzheimer%92s-and-Dementia-thread

A lot of sleuthing was done to try to find out where the obit was punished, all to no avail. Could it be a spoof, for lack of a better word?

Because I agree, it certainly gives pause to any leniency I was giving to the Mr.

My money is on LE knowing a lot more than we do.
For a minute I thought this was a thread started before mine that I had somehow missed in my search!

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