Most people do not understand the legal and psychological complexities of abuse situations, stalking, harassment, threats, mental and verbal abuse, etc.
But psychologists, attorneys, social workers, court personnel are quite familiar with these dynamics, the psychology of the victim and abuser.
1. Victims of stalking and harassment know that a call to the police may go nowhere. Victim cannot prove her ex tampered with the security system. Especially when the stalker lives out of town and is a professional, police may be reluctant to do anything. These smart stalkers know how to skirt the law.
2. Women who are victims of stalking and harassment may not always report the situation in real time. They wish to shield family and friends from bad news. They may doubt their own reactions. Victims are traumatized and may not know if they are under or over reacting for any given abuse event. The stalker keeps drawing them into their insanity, the victim begins to feel crazy too. They become more isolated, more withdrawn. Have periods when they want to pretend all is normal, and do normal things. They do not want to scare their family or friends.
3. Victim may think that the ex has never acted out on this threats. Victim may not know the stalker's life has taken a turn for the worse with many setbacks, or that drug abuse is involved. Victim has been desensitized to the threats, habituated to living with insanity. They may feel things are getting worse but feel helpless as the police may not take things seriously or there is no legal recourse. They feel more isolated, more alone. Realizing the system or family cannot protect them from harm. Even a restraining order is no protection if someone wants to harm you.