It definitely sounds like whatever starting manifesting occurred after he left the military. And that is not uncommon with PTSD. What they perceived would be a way to slow down in life and reduced stress, became more stressful.
I dont know if I understand correctly but I dont think leaving the military was his choice, I know he went from fulltime to part time,but was that because he didnt make the cut in ranger school?
Even good stress, new house, new community, more time with family can still be interpreted by the body as stress. I am sure income levels changed, the prescription and paternal life of the enlisted, the community and colleagues gone, pandemic isolation, did they suddenly have to home school, lack of employment, feeling like a failure etc...again his whole life changed...I am not sure they totally realized as a couple how much stress, grief, and loss this could cause. I also haven't read anywhere that it was total chaos all the time.
I dont think it was chaos all the time, I'm sure there were some good times. but as stressors built maybe the chaos got worse.
waking her up to yell at her, or to soak the bed would be chaos, his erratic and unpredictable outbursts would be chaos.
Im sure not making the rangers, might have turned into more chaos ( for others) ,
his coping skills or lack of would likely mean chaos( for others)
the kids were calling home crying over problems at the vists (something about him and the way he treated the dog?) ,
and puting them in situations where they know they are not suppsed to be ( sleeping at the barracks) and expecting them not to tell their mom, or expecting thm to keep secrets is chaos also.
its just enough already.
it is like walking on a floor made of eggshells.
Uggh, now Im even starting to be mad about it, so Im not even going to think about what a mess he was.
I am mad at the whole situation, how walking on eggshells can make someone afraid to speak up. She must have been scared to death, between her instincts and trying to maintain peace. I dont know if she was being nice cause she wanted to help him, I bet it was because she was scared to death of what would happen if she didnt.
Sounds like he was reaching out for a connection with someone, brother dad, and I don't know what happened with that. He hadn't spoken to his brother in years ( why?) , and the relationship with the pastor he talked to for hours a day ended abruptly. (why?)
Does he have a short fuse? Does he hold grudges? There's more info to be had before we can understand.
wonder what the bullying at work was about?
I understand how someone can only take so many hits before they cant take it anymore. I'm sure Whitney was his sounding board and without her it would have been difficult for him but that's no life for her either. He sounds like he was a ticking time bomb