Found Deceased OR - Owen Klinger, 18, University of Portland, 6 Oct 2019

[Kittybunny]

Right, but what is the timeline here? He leaves his dorm, goes and takes out $150 and 2 weeks later is found downstream from a bridge notorious for people choosing to take their lives by jumping from it.

So what happens between taking out the money and jumping from the bridge? Was it a straight shot? Do we know what he did in between those two things?

The obvious, though not foregone, conclusion is that whatever happened occurred the same night he went missing. However, the $150 might give one pause that perhaps that was not the case. (Not me, though, I think it just has taken this long to find him because of the original searches not in that area).

 

[crhedBngr]

I'm heartbroken after following this one closely. I had hoped this would not be the outcome, but suspected it would be.

Although I still think there's a good chance that he met with foul play after taking the money out in order to buy something/pay for a service of some kind, I don't think suicide is farfetched despite the ATM withdrawal. I think it's very possible he withdrew the money to give away, but didn't empty the whole account because some of the money was supplied by his parents. Maybe the $150 is what he saw as 'his' money, versus what they'd given him. He might have reasoned that the rest was not really his to give away.

Also, as someone who has struggled with suicide ideation since childhood ... I'd ask that anyone who has picked up the quip about 'permanent solution to a temporary problem' try to banish it from your vernacular. Although it's true that SOME people die by suicide as an immediate reaction to a circumstance, for many people who die that way, it is NOT a temporary problem. It's something they've been struggling with for years. As catchy as the phrase is, it implies shortsightedness or weakness when the truth is that the person might just have finally decided enough was enough after years of pushing through extreme distress with resilience few people will ever understand. If I ever don't outlast a dark episode, it will not be shortsightedness--because I know every time that it's NOT going to end. There are respites, but they are not permanent. It'll be that a terminal illness finally got me, just like someone might die of cancer after a long illness.

Everything I've read makes me think that Owen and I are very similar. Deeply sensitive and compassionate, introspective but also uninterested in burdening others with our problems. My parents had no clue I'd been struggling with suicide and self-harm since grade school until they got a call from me while I was away at college, age 20. I asked them to come get me because I wasn't okay. I called because I had a good friend like Owen's roommate--but he had the additional insight of a suicide attempt in his past, he saw troubling signs and told me I could call my parents or he would call them for me. If suicide was Owen's end, I'm only very sorry chance didn't happen to throw a barrier in his path long enough to slow him down so someone could help him.

I am so very sorry that you have struggled with this. Sending thoughts of strength and healing.

 

[PixieStix]

So very sorry to hear about Owen. I know we don't have confirmation from LE yet, but after looking at the family's FB page for Owen, they seem pretty sure and have made no more posts about it today.

I am not sure what to think about why he died, whether self-inflicted or something else. Some things lead me in both directions. Owen had virtually no SM presence that I could find, which is highly unusual for a seemingly outgoing 18-year-old guy in his first year of college. I think that might be the most telling as to what was going on inside him.

The other things that give me pause as to something else happening to him could also easily be explained and support him taking his own life too. Taking out the $150 in cash is strange, but he could have used that money to treat himself before. As details come out, it will be interesting to see if they find his backpack and phone etc. and if that sheds any more light.

 

[doyoulovemepfg]

So very sorry to hear about Owen. I know we don't have confirmation from LE yet, but after looking at the family's FB page for Owen, they seem pretty sure and have made no more posts about it today.

I am not sure what to think about why he died, whether self-inflicted or something else. Some things lead me in both directions. Owen had virtually no SM presence that I could find, which is highly unusual for a seemingly outgoing 18-year-old guy in his first year of college. I think that might be the most telling as to what was going on inside him.

The other things that give me pause as to something else happening to him could also easily be explained and support him taking his own life too. Taking out the $150 in cash is strange, but he could have used that money to treat himself before. As details come out, it will be interesting to see if they find his backpack and phone etc. and if that sheds any more light.

BBM. This is definitely highly unusual. Facebook isn’t as common anymore with the younger college set, but if he’s not on Instagram I would raise alarms.

 

[inmyhumbleopinion]

[RSBM]

Also, as someone who has struggled with suicide ideation since childhood ... I'd ask that anyone who has picked up the quip about 'permanent solution to a temporary problem' try to banish it from your vernacular. Although it's true that SOME people die by suicide as an immediate reaction to a circumstance, for many people who die that way, it is NOT a temporary problem. It's something they've been struggling with for years. As catchy as the phrase is, it implies shortsightedness or weakness when the truth is that the person might just have finally decided enough was enough after years of pushing through extreme distress with resilience few people will ever understand. If I ever don't outlast a dark episode, it will not be shortsightedness--because I know every time that it's NOT going to end. There are respites, but they are not permanent. It'll be that a terminal illness finally got me, just like someone might die of cancer after a long illness.

[RSBM]

Welcome to Websleuths, RaisedUnderdark. I just wanted to say as someone who has been diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder and major depressive disorder, I completely agree with you, especially the paragraph above.

Education is key to understanding mental illness and reducing the stigma surrounding it, IMO.

I’m so glad your roommate was there to help you and that you are here today.

ETA: For those who may be interested:
Understanding Dysthymia | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness

Depression | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness

 

[Elliot_Alderson]

The obvious, though not foregone, conclusion is that whatever happened occurred the same night he went missing. However, the $150 might give one pause that perhaps that was not the case. (Not me, though, I think it just has taken this long to find him because of the original searches not in that area).

I understand that it probably happened the same night and I'm not questioning that. My point was that nobody really knows exactly what happened between the time he left his dorm or the last location he was seen at and his presumed committing of the act.

 

[RaisedUnderdark]

I am not sure what to think about why he died, whether self-inflicted or something else. Some things lead me in both directions. Owen had virtually no SM presence that I could find, which is highly unusual for a seemingly outgoing 18-year-old guy in his first year of college. I think that might be the most telling as to what was going on inside him.

I would hazard a guess that this means he had a SM presence but kept anonymous. That would not be unusual for a young man who seemingly was there for everyone else, but seldom asked for support himself. Whatever support structure he actually availed himself of to any degree may have been online with 'strangers'. Also possible that he had interests he was ashamed of for whatever reason.

 

[PdxErn]

I'm heartbroken after following this one closely. I had hoped this would not be the outcome, but suspected it would be.

Although I still think there's a good chance that he met with foul play after taking the money out in order to buy something/pay for a service of some kind, I don't think suicide is farfetched despite the ATM withdrawal. I think it's very possible he withdrew the money to give away, but didn't empty the whole account because some of the money was supplied by his parents. Maybe the $150 is what he saw as 'his' money, versus what they'd given him. He might have reasoned that the rest was not really his to give away.

Also, as someone who has struggled with suicide ideation since childhood ... I'd ask that anyone who has picked up the quip about 'permanent solution to a temporary problem' try to banish it from your vernacular. Although it's true that SOME people die by suicide as an immediate reaction to a circumstance, for many people who die that way, it is NOT a temporary problem. It's something they've been struggling with for years. As catchy as the phrase is, it implies shortsightedness or weakness when the truth is that the person might just have finally decided enough was enough after years of pushing through extreme distress with resilience few people will ever understand. If I ever don't outlast a dark episode, it will not be shortsightedness--because I know every time that it's NOT going to end. There are respites, but they are not permanent. It'll be that a terminal illness finally got me, just like someone might die of cancer after a long illness.

Everything I've read makes me think that Owen and I are very similar. Deeply sensitive and compassionate, introspective but also uninterested in burdening others with our problems. My parents had no clue I'd been struggling with suicide and self-harm since grade school until they got a call from me while I was away at college, age 20. I asked them to come get me because I wasn't okay. I called because I had a good friend like Owen's roommate--but he had the additional insight of a suicide attempt in his past, he saw troubling signs and told me I could call my parents or he would call them for me. If suicide was Owen's end, I'm only very sorry chance didn't happen to throw a barrier in his path long enough to slow him down so someone could help him.

Thank you for your insightful words on why the phrase “a permanent solution to a temporary problem” are not appropriate. The phrase had been bothering me as well but I wasn’t able to put words to it as eloquently as you were. If Owen did die by suicide we may never know how long he had been suffering and how hopeless he may have been feeling. As you pointed out, he was the kind of kid who didn’t rock the boat (his mother’s words). He may have been suffering in silence for years.

 

[Marilynilpa]

It would be interesting to learn if any of the $150 was found on his body.

 

[PixieStix]

I would hazard a guess that this means he had a SM presence but kept anonymous. That would not be unusual for a young man who seemingly was there for everyone else, but seldom asked for support himself. Whatever support structure he actually availed himself of to any degree may have been online with 'strangers'. Also possible that he had interests he was ashamed of for whatever reason.

It would be unusual for him not to have a public SM presence is what I meant. I know lots of young adults that have a public SM and also private. No FB or Instagram etc. that I could find. What I meant was it was telling that that he didn't seem to have a public presence.

 

[RaisedUnderdark]

It would be unusual for him not to have a public SM presence is what I meant. I know lots of young adults that have a public SM and also private. No FB or Instagram etc. that I could find. What I meant was it was telling that that he didn't seem to have a public presence.

I certainly agree there--it is noteworthy. The only thoughts I would have to offer are SO speculative they're not worth mentioning.

 

[PixieStix]

I certainly agree there--it is noteworthy. The only thoughts I would have to offer are SO speculative they're not worth mentioning.

Most of what we do here is speculate!

 

[RaisedUnderdark]

Most of what we do here is speculate!

No public social media presence would suggest to me (enter the super-speculation zone) that Owen was not comfortable with his public identity and didn't want to be seen that way by anyone, and thus chose not to be who everyone else thought he was online, but wasn't sure how to address that in his real life.

 

[LAborn]

I am. Thank you for asking. My mental illness is chronic, so I will be in treatment the rest of my life, circumstances allowing. I am fortunate to have always had resources, access, and family support (once I told my parents what was going on). I take medication and my treatment is managed by a therapist and a psychiatrist. That phone call to my parents was 15 years ago. So far, so good. Owen likely would have also had access to assistance, though I'm not sure HOW wealthy his parents are, he would have still needed to ask them for assistance seeking treatment. I was solidly middle class, and I can tell you that the worst time I ever had securing treatment was while I was a student at another university in Portland. It's a very long story, but suffice to say that they talk a big game about 'there's always help available' in heartfelt emails from university administration when students die by suicide but there's very little ACTUAL assistance available to college students on the university health plan.

I'm so glad to hear you're getting support and help. It's disheartening to hear the lack of services for college students for mental health, especially when those years are often when things surface (and sometimes most intensely). I found out recently that teenagers don't need parental consent in Oregon to seek treatment, but it's likely if the child is still on their parent's health plan, they would learn about it. Unless they paid it out of pocket. Anyway, you are revealing a hole in the system that needs to be fixed for sure, especially since living in our society just keeps getting more and more pressure-filled and isolating. All the best to you.

 

[doyoulovemepfg]

No public social media presence would suggest to me (enter the super-speculation zone) that Owen was not comfortable with his public identity and didn't want to be seen that way by anyone, and thus chose not to be who everyone else thought he was online, but wasn't sure how to address that in his real life.

I was kind of thinking the same. Not going to speculate in this case because we would probably never know, but many of my friends without easily findable social media have either had issues with stalking and bullying or are LGBTQ+ and closeted/struggling to come to terms with that.

 

[Deleted member 718]

Owen had a youtube account.

 

[RaisedUnderdark]

I'm so glad to hear you're getting support and help. It's disheartening to hear the lack of services for college students for mental health, especially when those years are often when things surface (and sometimes most intensely). I found out recently that teenagers don't need parental consent in Oregon to seek treatment, but it's likely if the child is still on their parent's health plan, they would learn about it. Unless they paid it out of pocket. Anyway, you are revealing a hole in the system that needs to be fixed for sure, especially since living in our society just keeps getting more and more pressure-filled and isolating. All the best to you.

Indeed. I have experienced seeking mental health treatment on ten or so plans by now. The worst were all plans provided by higher education. During the most vulnerable time of a persons' life, they offer the worst mental health coverage. I actually pushed back once on a 'help is always available' email after a fellow student's suicide, trying to explain to them exactly how empty those words were on their campus. I was asked if I would share my experience with the university president. I said yes, and never heard back to schedule. I've attended three different universities, mental health coverage at every one of them was frankly appalling. Often they are equipped to handle transient challenges like homesickness or study stress, but not long term chronic mental illness. They have policies that make it HARDER for students with chronic mental illness to seek outside help. I would not have successfully navigated all of that if I had not had my parents to do it for me while I focused on staying alive day to day. If Owen was struggling, my heart goes out to him so much ... he would have needed so much support he had not yet found the self-love to ask for.

 

[Curiousobserver]

So very sorry to hear about Owen. I know we don't have confirmation from LE yet, but after looking at the family's FB page for Owen, they seem pretty sure and have made no more posts about it today.

I am not sure what to think about why he died, whether self-inflicted or something else. Some things lead me in both directions. Owen had virtually no SM presence that I could find, which is highly unusual for a seemingly outgoing 18-year-old guy in his first year of college. I think that might be the most telling as to what was going on inside him.

The other things that give me pause as to something else happening to him could also easily be explained and support him taking his own life too. Taking out the $150 in cash is strange, but he could have used that money to treat himself before. As details come out, it will be interesting to see if they find his backpack and phone etc. and if that sheds any more light.

Regarding the $150. A friend of my wife ended his life last summer. On the day of the "event" he went over to the home of another friend and paid for some raffle tickets she was selling for the school. He owed her $20 and didn't want to go without clearing his ledger. It seemed strange to buy raffle tickets you were never going to use, and then worry that you hadn't paid for them yet.

Owen maybe owed someone some money, wanted to have a really good last meal, or perhaps he gave it away as last act of kindness.

Perhaps his family will find out all the nitty-gritty details. It won't make things any easier for them though.

 

[10ofRods]

Owen had a youtube account.

Sad find. There's just one video (and 4 subscribers). Owen's Japanese is amazing to my English ears. It compares Grant HS in Portland with high school experience in Japan.

 

[Occam's Zebra]

That video makes me so incredibly sad. It sounds like a cliche to say that he was a bright young man with his life stretched out before him... but it's true. RIP Owen.