GUILTY PA - Kenneth Himrod, 28, shot to death, Union City, 20 Nov 2007

[MeoW333]

I was wondering if ya'll remembered the case on here recently where a grandmother had shot the abusive father of her granddaughter and then killed herself? It got me thinking, that a least this son will grow up knowing that his father loved him so much, that is why he did what he did for him, out of love for his son.

 

[SeekingJana]

:clap: :clap:
Great post. I am not understanding the statements about " I would kill them too" at all. If it's just words, then maybe it's time to step back and express emotions such as love and protectiveness for our children more clearly.

If it truly is what a person believes they would do, I hope very much that they will think about what it means to be on trial for murder and probably being convicted and imprisoned for the rest of their lives because of a reaction to another criminal's actions. Mr. Sherlock will probably face a much harsher sentence for murder than the accused molester would have if he had been tried for his probable crimes.

The judicial system is entrusted to mete out justice to abusers and others who prey on our loved ones in this world, and God has promised us that His judgment is swift and mighty for eternity. None of us is more powerful than the CJ system or God.

I think Filly and JanetElaine make an excellent point here.

Although I certainly understand the strong feelings, maybe we need to stop indulging ourselves with wild statements about how we would take the law into our own hands. At least around children. It isn't good for them for a lot of reasons.

 

[Taximom]

Sorry, Taxi, you are right. I should have been clearer that there's a big difference between venting at WS and exploding in front of a child.

Please don't be sorry, Nova. I understood where you were coming from.

 

[OneLostGrl]

I was raped 9 years ago and my mother still attempted to take it into her own hands.

First of all, I knew my attacker and my family knew my attacker. After spending several hours at the hospital and several more being asked questions by the police, I went home. When I came into the house the phone was ringing, it was my step-father calling to tell me that my mother had just left the house in a rage and was headed to where the attacker lived. I knew that meant bad stuff was about to happen.

By the time I got to my attackers home, the police where there and attempting to arrest my mother for breaking and entering and a bunch of other junk. When she got there, the attacker wasn't home (was in jail!) so she broke into his home, took all of his clothes, his grooming needs and his tools that he needed for work. Leaving behind a note on his bed giving her name, address and phone number- daring him to come get his stuff.

I am grateful the police showed up before she had had a chance to do anything else! I needed my mother then, probably more than I had ever needed her in my life. What I didn't need was to be standing outside of that house, watching my mother being taken away in handcuffs less than 24 hours after I had been raped!

She thought what she was doing would fix things, she would hurt the thing that had hurt me, but it only added to it. She tries to do the right things, she really does but she lets her emotions lead her and more times than not she ends up causing more of a problem.

Sometimes the most important thing we can do for our children is to simply be at their side. We can't un-do what has been done to them but we can be there to share in their grief and support them in their recovery. I assure you, you can't be much of a supporter from jail!

 

[Taximom]

Duly noted, OneLostGrl. I'm so sorry you went through what I think is the worst thing that can happen to someone. I hope you got the care you needed, as well as your mom.

 

[JanetElaine]

I What I didn't need was to be standing outside of that house, watching my mother being taken away in handcuffs less than 24 hours after I had been raped!

She thought what she was doing would fix things, she would hurt the thing that had hurt me, but it only added to it. She tries to do the right things, she really does but she lets her emotions lead her and more times than not she ends up causing more of a problem.

Sometimes the most important thing we can do for our children is to simply be at their side. We can't un-do what has been done to them but we can be there to share in their grief and support them in their recovery. I assure you, you can't be much of a supporter from jail!

Exactly my feelings. :blowkiss: :blowkiss: [[[[OneLostGirl]]]].

 

[Nova]

I was wondering if ya'll remembered the case on here recently where a grandmother had shot the abusive father of her granddaughter and then killed herself? It got me thinking, that a least this son will grow up knowing that his father loved him so much, that is why he did what he did for him, out of love for his son.

I"m sorry, but I don't believe that's the way human psychology works. The son may eventually conclude that, but in the meantime he'll spend years feeling he was abandoned by his father and also that he was the cause of his father's demise. If there's a "silver lining" in this case, it's decades in the future.

 

[Nova]

...Sometimes the most important thing we can do for our children is to simply be at their side. We can't un-do what has been done to them but we can be there to share in their grief and support them in their recovery. I assure you, you can't be much of a supporter from jail!

This is one of the wisest posts I've ever seen.

My children are 36 and 41 now, and OneLostGrl's words are STILL true.

 

[OneLostGrl]

I"m sorry, but I don't believe that's the way human psychology works. The son may eventually conclude that, but in the meantime he'll spend years feeling he was abandoned by his father and also that he was the cause of his father's demise. If there's a "silver lining" in this case, it's decades in the future.

Absolutely- the kid will grow up thinking it's his fault his dad is in prison.

At times victims of sexual abuse may doubt themselves, question themselves.. their reactions to the abuse itself and sometimes they feel the abuse may have been their "fault". The psychologic effects are devastating! Right or wrong, now, on top of this he will feel his dad is in prison because of him!

I cannot imagine what the poor kid is feeling.

 

[MeoW333]

Absolutely- the kid will grow up thinking it's his fault his dad is in prison.

At times victims of sexual abuse may doubt themselves, question themselves.. their reactions to the abuse itself and sometimes they feel the abuse may have been their "fault". The psychologic effects are devastating! Right or wrong, now, on top of this he will feel his dad is in prison because of him!

I cannot imagine what the poor kid is feeling.

You both are right, i thought about it.. He should have punched the pervert and left it at that.. I hope the boy gets counseling to help him through this..

 

[OneLostGrl]

You both are right, i thought about it.. He should have punched the pervert and left it at that.. I hope the boy gets counseling to help him through this..

Me too, Gosh me too!! I pray someone gets help for this poor spoul.

 

[Filly]

You both are right, i thought about it.. He should have punched the pervert and left it at that.. I hope the boy gets counseling to help him through this..

Knocking a few of his teeth out when he punched him wouldn't have been too bad. That or had someone jump out of a tree on him and give him some of the same he did to this poor boy. That way dad could be there for his boy at a time he most needs him.

 

[Linda7NJ]

All I know is if I were on that jury I would be unable to convict him.

 

[White Rain]

That's exactly why I never told my parents. They would have been so outraged they'd have done things. I couldn't afford to lose them. I couldn't be the cause of all the chaos that would happen. To have that happen on top of the pain, anger, sadness and humiliation. That is one reason why my DD knows (even though she probably thinks I am nuts for telling her stuff like that) that whatever happens to her, I promise to always be there for her and not turn into a raving lunatic. I hope this will always remain a theory though.

I never told my parents either until I was 25. I knew what my dad would do and that mom could not support us alone.
Unfortunately, my molester went on to re-offend, 2 other girls that we KNOW of so I have alot of guilt stemming from not telling.

 

[believe09]

White Rain-I am so sorry for what you went through, but you should not for a moment carry any of the burden that belongs to your offender alone. You do not know that you could have effected any change, so why measure yourself with that yardstick?

 

[txsvicki]

Hopefully since the dad was asking for help he will get either no sentence or something light like Mary Winkler in a mental facility. At least the pervert is dead and he will definitely hurt no more children. If he had lived, he would have gotten out of jail and went on to hurt more kids even if an older man. The law needs to give these freaks life with no parole or death so that people can feel that justice is done and not be afraid to tell or of what the perverts will do once they get out, that is, if they are even sent to jail in the first place.

 

[White Rain]

White Rain-I am so sorry for what you went through, but you should not for a moment carry any of the burden that belongs to your offender alone. You do not know that you could have effected any change, so why measure yourself with that yardstick?

thank you....I just can't help my feelings....what if I COULD have made a change?

 

[philamena]

thank you....I just can't help my feelings....what if I COULD have made a change?

I am sorry also for what you went through.
You asked what if you could have made a change?
I say make it now! If the creep who did this to you and at least 2 others hasn't been outed...out him. Volunteer to help other abuse victims on a hot line or legit internet support site. YOU can still make a difference.

 

[OneLostGrl]

thank you....I just can't help my feelings....what if I COULD have made a change?

Because at the time you couldn't have- you did not have the capacity to. You were left alone within your own damaged psyche unable to help yourself, how could you possibly help anyone else?!

I can understand how you may feel that way but You did nothing wrong, ok?!

 

[Filly]

thank you....I just can't help my feelings....what if I COULD have made a change?

White Rain my heart breaks for you. I can absolutely empathize. I blamed myself for not telling and others were hurt. One LostGrl is on the nose. We couldn't. We didn't have that capacity. I learned that in a crisis center. It really helps. I am again so sorry for your pain.