Parents keep child's gender secret

[gitana1]

Sounds like the parents have, ahem, problems to me.

My opinion only

Maybe the kid was born with ambiguous genatalia and this is there way of dealing with that. Otherwise...

Some people come up with some of the dumbest ideas while trying to be ultra hip and cool.

And I notice that they dress their kids in gender neutral clothes for the most part and gender neutral hairstyles. But daddy sure dresses like a man and mommy sure dresses like a woman so what gives?

Their oldest boy has braids. Are they native American? Nope. It would be different if he wanted his hair that way but I think they are using their kids to get attention, be different and make some sort of point. Silly. :crazy:

 

[DairyGirl]

Maybe the kid was born with ambiguous genatalia and this is there way of dealing with that. Otherwise...




And I notice that they dress their kids in gender neutral clothes for the most part and gender neutral hairstyles. But daddy sure dresses like a man and mommy sure dresses like a woman so what gives?

Their oldest boy has braids. Are they native American? Nope. It would be different if he wanted his hair that way but I think they are using their kids to get attention, be different and make some sort of point. Silly. :crazy:

I agree they have some kind of agenda. BTW, I don't see the boys hairstyle as neutral at all. I thought it was a little girl at first. It is as if they aren't encouraging neutrality at all but cross dressing.

 

[cluciano63]

I sorta wish I cared what this family is trying to prove...but I don't.

 

[kgeaux]

It's obvious to me that the kid is a boy. They had two boys and had no problem assigning them their appropriate gender. They hoped for a girl, and instead have decided to play mad scientist with their third child. I know...because I have three sons, and when people would question the gender of my fourth child in utero, I would answer, "They tell me it's a girl, but if not, I'm raising it as one anyway!" Jokingly, of course! (I love each and every one of my children...and I actually didn't "try" for a girl. My third son was a blessed surprise!)

Would you say to a child, "You can eat with your ears, and hear with your mouth?" Just wait and see how that all works out? No....we teach them as littles how wonderfully and perfectly our bodies are made. Let them figure out what tastes and sounds they prefer, but biologically, they must hear with ears and eat with their mouths. Likewise, this child should have the same biological background of it's genetic makeup.

Borderline child abuse, IMHO.

I very quickly glanced over the article, and maybe I missed what I consider to be the most important aspect to this "experiment" but does the child in question know if he/she is a boy/girl? This experiment is bound to result in some unhappy kiddos, in my own very, very humble opinion. And it smacks of borderline child abuse to me, too.......in fact, I think it IS some type of abuse to hide a child's gender.......what is WRONG with being a little boy? Or a little girl? And why would any healthy parent involve their children in secrecy and complicity?

I love how you called children our "littles." I think I am going to adopt your terminology, T4Tide.....!

 

[kgeaux]

I agree they have some kind of agenda. BTW, I don't see the boys hairstyle as neutral at all. I thought it was a little girl at first. It is as if they aren't encouraging neutrality at all but cross dressing.

I may have shared this story before, please forgive me if this is a repeat!

My husband is from France, and when I met him he had hair down to his shoulder blades----he still does, at age 60. :blushing: Anyway, we had five sons, and he did not want them to have the typical "little boy haircut" so we did not cut their hair until they turned three.....not sure now why we compromised on that age!......when my youngest was 18 months old, he (in his own words) followed some other mommy's legs out of a grocery store. My ten year old was supposed to be holding on to baby's hand, but 10 year old got distracted looking at candy bars strategically placed next to the check out, so he "forgot" to hang on to the baby. I (trusting soul that I used to be) stood quietly and calmly while $3 or $4 hundred dollars worth of groceries were rung up and bagged, and then I turned to face my little boys to lead them to the car. Oh NO! Baby was gone!!!! The store called an Adam Alert, and everybody is running around looking for a baby boy while I sob and 10 year old looks guilty......minutes and minutes go by (it felt like FOREVER) and then a store employee asks me, "Are you SURE you are missing a little boy? Because we found a little girl out in the parking lot!" Well, having been well acquainted with little boys by then, I was pretty sure I was missing a little boy. DUH! My baby had followed another mommy's legs out of the store, and since his hair was way longer than "normal" for a boy, the security guard thought he had found a baby girl! I cut that baby's hair that same day! Enough gender bending for ME!

 

[Charlie09]

I very quickly glanced over the article, and maybe I missed what I consider to be the most important aspect to this "experiment" but does the child in question know if he/she is a boy/girl? This experiment is bound to result in some unhappy kiddos, in my own very, very humble opinion. And it smacks of borderline child abuse to me, too.......in fact, I think it IS some type of abuse to hide a child's gender.......what is WRONG with being a little boy? Or a little girl? And why would any healthy parent involve their children in secrecy and complicity?

I love how you called children our "littles." I think I am going to adopt your terminology, T4Tide.....!

Yes he knows...(I'm assuming it's a boy)

 

[oh_gal]

There are no words.

I know what I'm thinking, but if I try to post it here....

There are no words.

 

[oh_gal]

I am really having a hard time, keeping my fingers off the keyboard.

When did it become "bad" to be a girl or a boy? Girls and boys are different. There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with that concept. While some people would have everyone believe there's nothing wrong with a girl acting like a boy and vice versa, for the other side, I'd like to say that there's nothing wrong with a girl acting like a girl, and a boy acting like a boy. When did this become undesirable?

 

[Knox]

I wrote and erased my post three times afraid that my words might offend someone with an alternate viewpoint.

But here goes ... I believe in the nuclear family as God intended it to be. That said, I also taught my children to be respectful of all people.

We have the right to express our opinion and raise children in the way we see fit. But in this instance, I wonder if the children will truly benefit from what the parents are trying to teach them?

The other thing that crossed my mind is how do you keep a five year old from telling what sex the baby is? Most five year olds love to "tell", seems to me this would put a lot of pressure on the child to keep a "secret". :twocents::twocents:

 

[blue_the_puppy]

are the parents really doing this for the benefit of the child, or to push their own agenda for their own benefit?

 

[Fairy1]

are the parents really doing this for the benefit of the child, or to push their own agenda for their own benefit?

I definitely believe they have ulterior motives.

Aside from the potentially damaging psychological effects this silly "experiment" may have on all their children, these parents should be alerted to the simple fact that we do not have the option of "assigning" our children's gender.

 

[Ssejors]

Ha. I have a very good friend of mine who is transgendered who would have a field day with this story and thread. I think the whole thing is taking it way too far. But if I know kids, and I have one of each, a little boy who is 3 and a little girl who is 19 months, then I know that it won't be long before it is obvious what sex the child is. Boys and girls are completely different. They play with toys different.

Daughter w toy vacuum. Ladee daa pushing a vacuum. "mommy! Look!"

Son w toy vacuum. Smash smash smash. Vacuum meet wall! Evil laughter!

 

[tlcya]

I definitely believe they have ulterior motives.

Aside from the potentially damaging psychological effects this silly "experiment" may have on all their children, these parents should be alerted to the simple fact that we do not have the option of "assigning" our children's gender.

Or a lack thereof

 

[Fairy1]

Ha. I have a very good friend of mine who is transgendered who would have a field day with this story and thread. I think the whole thing is taking it way too far. But if I know kids, and I have one of each, a little boy who is 3 and a little girl who is 19 months, then I know that it won't be long before it is obvious what sex the child is. Boys and girls are completely different. They play with toys different.

Daughter w toy vacuum. Ladee daa pushing a vacuum. "mommy! Look!"

Son w toy vacuum. Smash smash smash. Vacuum meet wall! Evil laughter!

So true. My kids were the same when they were little. I really didn't want to give them only what would be considered "gender specific" toys, but they generally gravitated toward them anyway. Some characteristics are just inherent..

That said, when one of my nephews was really little, he always wanted to play the princess and was drawn to more girlie toys. My BIL was freaking out, but didn't make a big deal out of it. Nephew grew out of that stage and is now ALL about football!

It's perfectly fine to want your babies to figure out WHO they are as they go along in life. It's something else entirely to force them to question WHAT they are. IMHO

 

[mysteriew]

The mother of Storm Stocker, the Canadian baby being raised with only a few people knowing his or her sex, defended her family's choice to raise their child without regard to gender.
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/gender...m-defends-choice-reveal-sex/story?id=13718047

Even the grandparents don't know the child's sex. The baby's two older brothers are being raised to choose their own gender choices.

 

[athy]

snipped for space

Daughter w toy vacuum. Ladee daa pushing a vacuum. "mommy! Look!"

Son w toy vacuum. Smash smash smash. Vacuum meet wall! Evil laughter!

lol i have to laugh at this. i had 3 daughters only the middle one would have played with the toy vacuum as intended. the other two would have been more the smash smash evil laugh type.

 

[RLynne]

An interesting take, in the fiction world, is here: [ame="http://www.amazon.com/Maybe-Baby-Tenaya-Darlington/dp/0316000752"]Amazon.com: Maybe Baby (9780316000758): Tenaya Darlington: Books[/ame] . I bought and read the book when it came out (the author used to live in my city, I enjoyed her articles in the local alt-weekly paper), but I wasn't blown away by the book. It did raise some interesting questions about gender, and how our expectations influence kids. An interesting read, in any case.

 

[mysteriew]

I keep thinking about when this kid grows up and gets married. If it's a little boy, what if he wants to get pregnant and carry a baby? How are the parents going to help him with that?

I raised my DD that she could do anything little boys could do. But yes there are some traditions that they will eventually have to stick to. When she was old enough to go to the BR by herself for instance, she had to use the girls. She's a tomboy now, but she does know she is a woman.

 

[Donjeta]

The mother of Storm Stocker, the Canadian baby being raised with only a few people knowing his or her sex, defended her family's choice to raise their child without regard to gender.
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/gender...m-defends-choice-reveal-sex/story?id=13718047

Even the grandparents don't know the child's sex. The baby's two older brothers are being raised to choose their own gender choices.

It sounds like one unfortunate consequence of the need to keep the baby's gender a secret limits its interactions with relatives and friends. They can't let the grandparents babysit the child until it's old enough to go to the toilet on its own and lock the door behind himself/herself.

"The strong, lightning-fast, vitriolic response was a shock," said Kathy Witterick in a letter. "The idea that the whole world must know our baby's sex strikes me as unhealthy and voyeuristic."

Dunno but I think the whole world wouldn't know and care that their baby exists if they had just said "it's a boy" or "it's a girl" and left it at that. Why give interviews about your baby and its undisclosed sex if you don't want any attention on your baby's undisclosed sex?

 

[andrea]

While I think it is a strange decision by the parents, I also think there is some food for thought apart from calling them crazy or even dangerous. I mean, there will be at least 12 or 14 years before the child's gender makes any real difference in his/her life, so why does everyone get so upset by not knowing?

I will give the idea to spare the child the typical gendered comments some merit*. But putting the "case" in the media like this kind of renders the basic idea useless in my eyes.

*Have you ever heard the difference in tone when people say something about a child - like "He's a wild one!" as opposed to "she's a wild one!"?

I (as a girl) was "a wild one", and while my parents were supportive of my somewhat boyishly behaviour (innocent things, like preferring toy cars to dolls, or jeans to dresses), I got so many "A girl doesn't do this" comments in school and from other relatives that I just hated being a girl. Eventually, I grew out of it (my hate of being a girl, not preferring cars to dolls or jeans to dresses.)