I'm so glad you and your son got the help you both needed Linda.
One of my most crowning achievements in my eyes is that we raised five children who are exceptional children. Of course no child is perfect but all and all I cant say parenting was that hard when they were growing up. It does my heart good that they don't know what it is to suffer abuse even though they are aware that I did.
I was an overprotective mom.........I will admit that... which came from me being abused, but little by little I learned to trust them, and their decision making and gave them their wings. They never disappointed us nor betrayed that trust.
We did set ground rules that they had to follow and never gave them everything they wanted. They certainly knew that 'no' meant 'no' and there would be no further discussions.

We wanted them to know that time being spent together with family and friends is much more valuable than any material thing they could ever have.
Now they are grown and so well grounded and totally family oriented. They all have children of their own and now they teach what they were taught and it shows through our grandchildren too.
I know we have not only been lucky to have the children we do but blessed beyond words. Sometimes I wonder if it was how we raised them or if they as individuals were very self disciplined children on their own. They seem to have always set goals and kept them. They always seemed to know that telling the truth was much better than making up a lie.
I don't know if I should take any credit for how they turned out or if they themselves deserve all the accolades.