Ron's Incident With The Gun Spark Investigation was opened by DCF.

[KOOL LOOK]

JMO.....If you've seen one abuser, you've seen them all.

It's hard for me to be able to see one and all the same. Though I don't dispute this post. Gives me something to think about. Along with your siggy. May I ask kindly, who is that in your avie? Thank you for your response and provoking thoughts that have come from your post.

 

[Whisperer]

I hope the rat wasn't a pet...but I don't think he went out and picked up one in the woods..so...*sigh*

 

[Trident]

BTW, whatever happened to the rat incident? Does Ron go to court for it, or has it been swept under the rug again? Also, what happened to his assault on Tommy? Has that disappeared too?

 

[curvecuti]

JMO.....If you've seen one abuser, you've seen them all.

I was once married to one. But I try to not let that cloud my judgement. It did for awhile, but I have tried to see people as who they are,not what I project onto them. It took alot of time and work for me to get to that point.

 

[Whisperer]

Maybe some victims of abuse over-compensate...IDK. I have seen this on here before and I am always surprised that they extend themselves with compassion for somebody who could possibly be involved in the crime. It is as if they have over analyzed the behavior and are willing to do whatever it takes to not think the person could be bad, JUST in case they aren't. The victims of abuse sometimes will bend over backwards to give the possible perp the benefit of the doubt.

 

[LisaNY]

Does anyone know if DCF has finished conducting the investigation pertaining to the gun incident? Also, are the reports accessible?

 

[Flossie JMO]

I don't think DCF provides their reports to the public, jmo

 

[curvecuti]

Maybe some victims of abuse over-compensate...IDK. I have seen this on here before and I am always surprised that they extend themselves with compassion for somebody who could possibly be involved in the crime. It is as if they have over analyzed the behavior and are willing to do whatever it takes to not think the person could be bad, JUST in case they aren't. The victims of abuse sometimes will bend over backwards to give the possible perp the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe some of them, I can just speak for myself. I tended project my experience onto people. I didn't have alot of compassion for anyone that might seem what I believed to be an abusive personality. Like I said it took me a long to to get past it and just take people at face value until I got to know them. It was also many years ago when I was too young and didn't have alot of life experience, so I think that has helped along w/ my CJ training, it is what keeps me on the side of innocent until proven guilty, I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt until I have something concerete. If the tables were turned I would want people to do that for me. I guess for me I had to learn to have a more open mind, everyone expresses themselves differently, it doesn't necessarily make them abusive.

 

[LisaNY]

I don't think DCF provides their reports to the public, jmo

My mistake then, I thought Fla Sunshine Laws make everything available to the public. I also thought the reports between CS / RC were made public. In any case, does anyone know if the allegations were officially "unfounded"? No rumors or opinions please.

 

[Flossie JMO]

My mistake then, I thought Fla Sunshine Laws make everything available to the public. I also thought the reports between CS / RC were made public. In any case, does anyone know if the allegations were officially "unfounded"? No rumors or opinions please.

Not DCF afaik, that's kept confidential

The earlier allegations lead to an investigation which was closed with no evidence of abuse

the new allegation we have not heard any findings from DCF about

 

[kamky]

I applaud you and others of your open-mindness. I have been following both the Haleigh case and Caylee case very closely and I do have my own formed opinions, whether they are based on fact, rumors, or my own instincts. I think when it comes to children, especially those that can't speak for themselves, I would rather people tell me later that my negative opinion was wrong and that they weren't lying or covering the truth, then to find out that it was correct to think the worse and now another child may be in harms way.

I know I wouldn't let any of these characters babysit my child. Would you?

moo

Probaby not, LisaNY, because I would only trust somebody that I knew well and felt to be above reproach.

Although, I have to admit that I have known people in my life that I though to be reliable, only to find out otherwise later. In general, I'm a pretty good judge of character, but we're all human and sometimes people do fool us.

 

[sleepingheart]

It's hard for me to be able to see one and all the same. Though I don't dispute this post. Gives me something to think about. Along with your siggy. May I ask kindly, who is that in your avie? Thank you for your response and provoking thoughts that have come from your post.

(BBM)
Well good ; that's why it is my "siggy"....to hopefully give some something to think about; I'm glad it helped...Thank you! ...And what I meant by "if you've seen one abuser, you've seen them all", is this.....all abusers have basically the same characteristics. When a battered woman goes into a shelter, the staff usually even gives her a check-list of these characteristics so that she can mark the ones that she has experienced. I hope that clarifies what I was saying a bit.

 

[sleepingheart]

I was once married to one. But I try to not let that cloud my judgement. It did for awhile, but I have tried to see people as who they are,not what I project onto them. It took alot of time and work for me to get to that point.

All abusers have the same characteristics is what I meant, like: jealousy, controlling behavior, blame shifting for problems & feelings, isolation, cruelty to animals, hypersensitivity, breaking and/or striking objects, quick involvement(married/engaged/etc. in less than 6 mos.), alcohol & substance abuse, "Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde", threats of violence, etc., etc.....Knowing that simple fact makes one a wise woman...not one with "clouded judgment". Moo .

 

[kiki the parrot]

All abusers have the same characteristics is what I meant, like: jealousy, controlling behavior, blame shifting, isolation, cruelty to animals, hypersensitivity, etc., etc.....Knowing that simple fact makes one a wise woman...not one with "clouded judgment". Moo .

ITA. Truer, wiser words were never spoken (or posted lol). I'm only too familiar w these after being involved w ARMS (Abuse Recovery Ministry Servs) which offers support and resources for those who have experienced domestic violence or any type of abuse (physical, emotional, verbal, spiritual et al) And it is one of the first things victims of abuse are taught: to identify the shared characteristics abusers have in common. Good for you speaking up, by sharing anything that can raise awareness and help to alert others to the warning signs and red flags.
arrot:

 

[kiki the parrot]

Just want to thank you again, sleeping, for those words of wisdom. :blowkiss:

As I've shared, we're instructed how to handle people in various states. We are to "admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak." As Dr. Jon Townsend, pastor and author says, "To reverse these is tragic. Encouraging the unruly is like a watchdog making friends with the burglar." Hiding from Love. So much of our challenge, then, becomes one of discerning and determining in which of these states a given person is. (Bumping).

We are warned about the dangers of all grace and no confrontation. Whether or not he has further knowledge of Haleigh's disappearance it's my own personal belief this is the situation RC seems to have been enjoying for some time now.

arrot:

 

[curvecuti]

All abusers have the same characteristics is what I meant, like: jealousy, controlling behavior, blame shifting for problems & feelings, isolation, cruelty to animals, hypersensitivity, breaking and/or striking objects, quick involvement(married/engaged/etc. in less than 6 mos.), alcohol & substance abuse, "Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde", threats of violence, etc., etc.....Knowing that simple fact makes one a wise woman...not one with "clouded judgment". Moo .

No offense, judging people you do not know personally based on a few snippets of their reactions to their child being abducted, does not make one a wise woman. We cannot label someone we do not know an abuser, I'm sorry, it's just not right. My ex who was abusive was not jealous, controlling, isolating, cruel to animals nor quick w/ involvement. I am unwilling to lump people together based on second hand information that may or may not true, and things they have said in anger when in the midst of a child abduction.

 

[KOOL LOOK]

No offense, judging people you do not know personally based on a few snippets of their reactions to their child being abducted, does not make one a wise woman. We cannot label someone we do not know an abuser, I'm sorry, it's just not right. My ex who was abusive was not jealous, controlling, isolating, cruel to animals nor quick w/ involvement. I am unwilling to lump people together based on second hand information that may or may not true, and things they have said in anger when in the midst of a child abduction.

I know I'm not going to be appreciated for this. But, here goes. I'm watching Somer's grandmoter right now on HLN news, she's speaking. Her voice, tears, gasps, broken speech through tremoring cries sounds just like Mistys voice in that interview with the dotted hoody and Mama Lisa on the sofa. The same to me, not the same words, but same voice inflections, losing breath in between words. When viewing Misty's video on the sofa, those tears are real to me. They flowed. I have seen fake crying and know the difference between whining, crying, wailing, weeping and the crying done without tears, the wiping away with a tissue, and no tears are there to wipe. Anyone else that can tell the difference? I'm missing one other term used for crying that I'm looking for.

I bring this up as Ron is being discussed about how he acted, sounded and what he said during the 911 call and immediately afterwards. So in viewing this grandmother now on tv, it brought misty's voice to mind in hearing hers. sorry for the o/t.

 

[Novice Seeker]

JMO - a 911 call from someone who's child is missing is in no way an indication of a temper of any sort imo.

the emotions heard during a 911 call regarding a child who is missing tends to be that of fear and a deep sense of pain not that of anger that involves verbal abuse toward the person reporting the call nor threats of dealing with this on his own. That's the difference

Novice Seeker

 

[sleepingheart]

No offense, judging people you do not know personally based on a few snippets of their reactions to their child being abducted, does not make one a wise woman. We cannot label someone we do not know an abuser, I'm sorry, it's just not right. My ex who was abusive was not jealous, controlling, isolating, cruel to animals nor quick w/ involvement. I am unwilling to lump people together based on second hand information that may or may not true, and things they have said in anger when in the midst of a child abduction.

Well, first of all, I'm not judging him...I'm discerning. Second of all, I'm not basing my discernment on "things he said in anger when in the midst of a child abduction", or his "reactions to his child being abducted" only. I stand by my post & my list & the fact that I'm a wise woman and still believe that every abuser has most, if not all, of these characteristics...but that is okay, we can agree to disagree .

(bbm)
I never said it did...those are your words/claims

 

[curvecuti]

the emotions heard during a 911 call regarding a child who is missing tends to be that of fear and a deep sense of pain not that of anger that involves verbal abuse toward the person reporting the call nor threats of dealing with this on his own. That's the difference

Novice Seeker

I don't think we can dictate what emotions one might feel when their child is abducted unless we has been in their shoes. Thank God I have not but I can see myself reacting w/ anger, even rage towards the person that "let my daughter get stoled."