Scathing Obituary For 80-year-old Woman

[Rocco]

They proved that they were just as awful as the things that they accused their mother of. They did not have to write an obituary. They have failed the 'discretion is the better part of valour'. These would be people in their sixties. I have to wonder, who brought them up with such bitterness.

Their maternal grandparents brought them up. Looks like they didn't have anything good to say about her either. When NO ONE has anything good to say about a person, maybe there's nothing good to say so people just go with the truth.

 

[2Hope4]

"People don't generally speak ill of the dead," Soper told The Washington Post. "But not always. There are plenty of obituaries that have been very honest and truthful about the hurt someone has caused — or the misdeeds they have committed."

The Daily Mail quotes Kathleen's son, Jay Dehmalo, who changed his last name to distance himself from his family, as saying that he and his sister knew there would be backlash, but they are glad to have published what they say is the truth about their mother.

"It helped us [to write this]," Dehmalo said. "We wanted to finally get the last word."
'She Will Not Be Missed': Children Deliver Harsh Send-Off In Mother's Death Notice

 

[Rocco]

They have had probably five or more decades to heal. Men do that all the time, leave for another woman and leave their family, but it seems that a woman who does it cannot be forgiven, even after 50 years. Such a double standard here.

So you think if their father had deserted them as children they'd write a glowing obituary for him? I doubt it.

 

[Jennifer17]

Their maternal grandparents brought them up. Looks like they didn't have anything good to say about her either. When NO ONE has anything good to say about a person, maybe there's nothing good to say so people just go with the truth.

Where was their father in all of this. He gets a free pass?

 

[Jennifer17]

So you think if their father had deserted them as children they'd write a glowing obituary for him? I doubt it.

No, they would not write any obituary for him. He didn't hang around either it seems.

 

[2Hope4]

The 58-year-old said for years he and his sister had no idea that after their mother abandoned them and moved to California, she had given birth to two other sons with her husband’s brother.

“We didn’t have so much as a card from her. I remember she came home twice and on one occasion she was showing pictures of her and her kids playing cards, drinking beers,” Mr Dehmalo added.

“Gina and I were standing in the room, just standing there and she didn’t even acknowledge us. It’s like we didn’t exist … How can you do that to your own children?”

Both Jay and Gina said given the chance again, they would publish the same obituary.
https://www.snopes.com/news/2018/06/05/minnesota-womans-family-runs-caustic-obituary/

 

[Rocco]

Here's an obituary about a father, along the same lines:

"The family of Leslie Ray 'Popeye' Charping, of Galveston, Texas, was similarly elated at his passing last year and maintained no enduring concerns about speaking ill of the dead.

According to CNN, they posted a scathing obituary on the Carnes Funeral Home website, shortly before cremating Charping and unceremoniously placing his ashes in a barn.

"Leslie's hobbies included being abusive to his family, expediting trips to heaven for the beloved family pets and fishing . . . With Leslie's passing he will be missed only for what he never did; being a loving husband, father and good friend."

 

[Jennifer17]

Two bitter malicious people. How many people have gone through marriage break ups and don't carry their maliciousness on into their sixties? What they 'went through' is no different to many, many people.

 

[Valerio]

Some great men and women have risen above their tormentors. It was because of their tormentors that they became great men and women. Isaiah 48:10 See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.
(sorry....that is just the preacher in me)

 

[Rocco]

Where was their father in all of this. He gets a free pass?

He was probably busy cutting the images of his brother out of the family photos.
The topic of the thread is the obituary of the mother.

 

[DakotaMayi]

I can't believe that anyone here would say that they can't be any better than this so called "Mother" for writing this obit. Jesus. Good for them. She didn't deserve good words. She didn't deserve no words either. She deserved these words to be written about her. And if it helped them to write it, who are we to pass comment? I won't be surprised if my DH & his siblings are writing the same type of things for his parents obit when they pass.

Bad parents are just that. Bad. Bad people deserve these things. If she had been a better human, she might have had a better obit. What goes around, comes around.

 

[Valerio]

Oh I am sure it made them 'feel better' to write it. No doubt. I did not even read the obituary because I have heard it all before. You will never really ever know the whole story anyway. The 'dash' between the date you were born and the date you die on your tombstone is the story of your entire life as they say. Anyway.....I smell bacon cooking....gotta go.

 

[Slawsb]

As someone whose own mother walked out on her five kids (ages 13 years- 5 months) I understand where this comes from. Being abandoned by your mother has deep, lasting psychological implications. It NEVER goes away. Ever. You grow up but you never outgrow the pain of your mother choosing (insert person/ place/thing) over you- her own child.

I ran across a picture the other day from shortly after it happened to us. And fifty years later- it still hurts.

So don't be too harsh in judging the victims of her selfishness- they've had to live with it all these years.

 

[Slawsb]

Sorry you all had to go through that

 

[Rubyreddigger]

So sad!

 

[1&2&3]

I can guarantee you there is much more to this story. These siblings have probably lived a tough life knowing their own mother walked out on them.

Like adoptees, some have a difficult time upon learning they are adopted. Some never locate their bio parents and some who do are terribly disappointed.

These children knew who their mother left with, an uncle, who maybe they were very close to. It sounds like the mother ignored them their entire life. If one hasn’t been through the torment and agony these children suffered, they did what they felt like they had to at the end of her life.

My brother and I went through something similar at 8 and 4 years old. We did not hear from my dad for forty years! A long story, but in maturing realized our mother was wacko and an abuser, so we understood many things.

 

[PinkPrincessPoop]

Yes, I think that comparing a scathing writing paragraph to being an abusive mother is quite dramatic and over-the-top!

I am so over the whole "decorum to protect abusers" deal. No thanks. Reveal people for who they truly were in this life.

 

[ilovematt]

I’m far estranged from my mentally, physically and most of all emotionally abusive parents. You all pass judgement and say how dare they, but if you haven’t been urinated on or had to drive your daralict father home when you were 12 then IMO you should count your blessings that you have so many glowing obits to write. It doesn’t sound like the old mean lady cared much what anyone thought of her, in that case, RIP. They have the right to express their ill gotten opinion just as you have the right to print happy memories.

 

[MillenialMeg]

I don’t have the best relationship with my mother but WOW. That was sad to read. I’m not going to judge her children but yikes.... certainly bizarre

 

[flourish]

Meh, I didn't think it was that harsh, really. Death rituals are for the living, anyway.