Sheri Coleman, sons Garett and Gavin murdered 5-5-09, Columbia, IL. Pt3

[who knew?]

AFTER SUNSET:
one of the most true statements I've read in here...been there...experienced that along with a gun put to my head...and yeah...I was scared to leave...took me 12 years to get my ducks in a row...make a backup/escape plan and get out safely with my children and the clothes on our backs and little material things...
oh yeah and no one (especially my family) knew what went on behind our closed doors...I was full of shame and did not want anyone to know...even my best friends...it was only when (I could no longer hide) the physical abuse (leaving marks/bruises/etc on my face and neck) things really started to fall apart...
just saying....


I agree - very few abusees tell anyone, not even family. In my case, NO ONE knew because I was embarassed and ashamed. Because of the way I left, my family took my ex's side- they eventually realized the truth. (It took years.)

 

[who knew?]

Kiki, I know what you are saying. When I called 911, LE came to my house. There were several, ven the police chief. We were a fairly high profile couple in the community. All the officers did was take him outside to calm him down. One officer stayed inside with me who lectured me on being a good wife and not doing things to set him off. WTH!

He was powerful, I wasn't. There are those who still defend him even after his shenanigans caught up with him and it was plastered all over the news media! Such a charmer......

AMEN......Isn't it weird - a lot of us have a similar past. Just shows how much abuse is out there and unreported.

 

[SeriouslySearching]

The fact they were as a couple active either with the boys, in their church or in their community tells us little or nothing about what went on behind closed doors. It's not only possible, but predictable that a person fitting the profile described should maintain appearances. We do know there was deception (which is abusive if you're the spouse being deceived and lied to) and that any spouse w whom you're still intimate who is not sexually faithful is being reckless and endangering your health and wellbeing. I'd give anything to have a few flies on the wall step forward too but trust me, we'll have a tough time finding "witnesses" (especially w the boys both gone now) to any abuse that may have occurred within the home (there was no appropriate response even when I cried out for help w/in my church community which is alot more than most women find the courage to do) which is why it's so often allowed to continue w/out intervention... and ends tragically.

arrot:

I strongly disagree. The boys being murdered with Sheri will cause the opposite affect on anyone with knowledge of any kind of abuse. They would be more inclined to come out against Chris in an effort to bring justice to the children and Sheri. Their anger and outrage over the murders would make them eager to speak up.

I am not saying it didn't happen or isn't possible. I am only saying we have no proof yet. No matter how perfect the family appears...there is always a person on the outside that either suspects or knows things are amiss.

 

[who knew?]

I saw this posted earlier and meant to reply but got side tracked.

There are 3 Coleman sons in this order... Chris (oldest), Brad (middle), Keith (youngest)
Keith lives in Arkansas and is married to Emily. Brad is not married.
Brad lives in Chester diagonally across from his parents.
I don't know the ages of the younger Coleman boys.

Keith may have been one of the brothers in the deer strangling video. It is very possible that Keith comes up to Chester to deer hunt. Randolph County is a hot spot for hunters that live here and don't live here. (it is possible that Keith was talked to by LE because maybe he was also in the deer strangling video - they may have want his insight into why they chose to post the video on UTube and why they chose to strangle the deer instead putting another arrow into it)

There is another Coleman in Chester named C. Coleman who lives on the other side of town I don't know if they are part of the same family but they most likely are. It may be the grandfather of the boys and maybe who Chris was named after if that persons first name is Christopher also.

I thought Brad was married to Jennifer? Are they divorced?

 

[kiki the parrot]

While I do appreciate what you went through and what you are saying, we do not have any indication anything of the sort was happening with Sheri and Chris. We know things were not perfect with the affair and other things going on inside the home, but I am not ready to charaterize it as abuse yet.

Sheri was not being controlled to the point of no friends, not being allowed to talk to her family, or where others in the community noticed problems evidently. There are signs even in a family where no one speaks about it and the abuse isn't done out in the open. Someone would have seen something or Sheri would have said something to a close friend/confidant.

SS I really do appreciate reluctance to let this discussion become centered around this before this has been "proven." I'm interested in exploring all possible angles so while I myself am not leveling any accusations of physical abuse, please allow me to clarify that there really are in fact indications, signs of financial controlling we can identify which are in and of themselves predictors or characteristic of a controlling and abusive person for which reason some feel this warrants discussion. Abuse obviously does not need to be physical and in fact many prefer to abuse in ways which do not leave telltale signs which could also therefore be construed as "illegal" or just "immoral" (God forbid). It would be fine w me to move on for the time but I think a few here already recognize some of the more familiar warning signs (neon flashing lights, buzzers and whistles) especially financial ones associated with a controlling personality kwim?

arrot:

 

[OrdinaryLife]

While I do appreciate what you went through and what you are saying, we do not have any indication anything of the sort was happening with Sheri and Chris. We know things were not perfect with the affair and other things going on inside the home, but I am not ready to charaterize it as abuse yet.

Sheri was not being controlled to the point of no friends, not being allowed to talk to her family, or where others in the community noticed problems evidently. There are signs even in a family where no one speaks about it and the abuse isn't done out in the open. Someone would have seen something or Sheri would have said something to a close friend/confidant.

SS, I respect your opinion and thoughts. I will share that unless you have lived part of this kind of life, you cannot understand total manipulation of another. Thankfully, I gather you have had the gift of not having this particular experience.

 

[waltzingmatilda]

AMEN......Isn't it weird - a lot of us have a similar past. Just shows how much abuse is out there and unreported.

Yes it is! I am so grateful for you and others sharing your story. I don't feel so alone. It is a difficult cycle to break and get out of and dangerous too.
Speaking out and standing up to him prolly saved me and my kids. But gathering the courage to do it was the most difficult. All the threats and intimidation are ways to controll the victim. For instance, I was offered a scholarship and of course had to discuss it with him first. His response was. "Do you really think you are smart enough to pass?" Sociopaths squash the psyche of their victims.

 

[cleo612]

We can speculate there was abuse in the home, but I haven't heard anyone who knew them voice this opinion. As a couple, they were active with the boys, the church, and the community. I would expect people to be coming out of the woodwork to tell tales of suspected abuse from Chris be it mental, verbal, or physical. We don't know he controlled Sheri. I wish someone who interacted with them on a regular basis would talk and fill in some details.

Hey, SS.

I, too, have wished that someone who interacted with the Colemans would speak up publicly to tell us what they knew about the Colemans' relationship. However, I have a feeling that most of their social relationships revolved around other people who followed JMM or who proscribed to the same religious beliefs that the Colemans did.

If my feelings are correct, those friends would never speak up; rather, they would probably make excuses (in their own minds) that anything they saw/witnessed was part of the marital relationship and just a "minor" problem that could be dealt with by prayer. I doubt that any of those friends would have been privy to the Colemans problems--those types of things are considered private and between husband and wife.

If those friends knew that Chris was having an affair, they still would not speak up, because they would have figured that Sheri was not doing her part as a wife, or was not working hard enough on keeping her "loving husband" happy at home. "Pray about it and make yourself a more accessible and loving wife, and your husband will stay at home."

Wives are to be submissive to their husbands, as the man is the head of the household and will only do what is best for his family. The wife should never question the husband's "rules" as the man knows best. People who do not proscribe to the same religious beliefs are "no good" and should not be trusted--they can wreak havoc on a marriage and the husband would do his utmost to discourage and stop those "outside" friendships. They are taught this through the church and it becomes rote.

Sheri, Garrett and Gavin did nothing to deserve any of this--in fact, they lived their lives as they were taught according to the word of God as it was taught to them. Unfortunately, with the cult-like mentality behind those doctrines, the words get twisted, and the power often goes to those least capable of dealing with it.

"Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely," is a quote by John Emerich Edward Dalberg Acton. Eric Hoffer followed that by stating, "Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power."

May God bless Sheri, Garrett and Gavin--innocent victims of a warped man. I truly hope that somehow Sheri's family will one day find peace, and that they see justice doled out swiftly and severely against the monster who stole their loved ones' lives. My thoughts and prayers are with them.

 

[who knew?]

Yes it is! I am so grateful for you and others sharing your story. I don't feel so alone. It is a difficult cycle to break and get out of and dangerous too.
Speaking out and standing up to him prolly saved me and my kids. But gathering the courage to do it was the most difficult. All the threats and intimidation are ways to controll the victim. For instance, I was offered a scholarship and of course had to discuss it with him first. His response was. "Do you really think you are smart enough to pass?" Sociopaths squash the psyche of their victims.

And consistent with "abusees" - it's easier to talk about on a thread like this because we can remain fairly anonymous. The fear and shame doesn't just go away when you leave the jerk and, at least in my case, I just don't like to talk about it to anyone.

SO............moving on now ..............................

 

[Lindadanette]

I don't understand. If he was the blackmailer and he was receiving threats and gave those threats to LE, why wasn't he arrested for blackmail?

Hmmmm, If he was intent on getting something on JMM, and he was security at the compound, what better way to gain access and, at the same time, eliminate any suspicion she might have had, than too make himself a victim of the threats as well. She would have quite naturally believed that he was hypervigilant inher behalf. (While all along he was. . . .????) No one would have known he was the villian - till now.

 

[panthera]

Just checking in to see if there was an arrest. Guess not. Was secretly wishing they would do it during church...

I hear you! I do think it will be soon though.

 

[who knew?]

I hear you! I do think it will be soon though.

I hope - the sooner the better!

 

[pferrin]

Sorry pferrin - I'm not dissing SC. She was a wonderful and beautiful lady. CC was lucky she gave him the time of day. I just know that while I'm religious, God fearing and was married to a control freak (Yes - everything was in his name) - I ended up having an affair. The man helped me get out of my he$$ish marriage. Did I use him? Probably. Desperation makes us do desperate things - but murder was not an option I considered. :furious:

I am still religious, and very ashamed for what I did. I had a difficult time dealing with what I'd done - But my minister told me that God works in mysterious ways. So the fact SC was a loving and devoted wife - and I believe she was - having an affair or even a one time event doesn't make her a bad person. On the other hand, I'm not saying she did this. She was a much better person than I was as she stayed with CC and tried to make it work.

I know what you went thru was he!!. You have already paid for what you did. Extreme situations do require extreme behavior. God has forgiven you..now you forgive you. Don't blame yourself anymore!!!!:blowkiss:


I do believe that each of us that have gone thru this kind of situation and horror have our on survival techniques. Don't know what Sheri's were. Sounds like she loved working with others.

We will find out some of the ugly stuff that went on...nothing will compare to what he did and is still doing. I better shut up or I will start cussing.:furious:

 

[kiki the parrot]

Yes it is! I am so grateful for you and others sharing your story. I don't feel so alone. It is a difficult cycle to break and get out of and dangerous too.
Speaking out and standing up to him prolly saved me and my kids. But gathering the courage to do it was the most difficult. All the threats and intimidation are ways to controll the victim. For instance, I was offered a scholarship and of course had to discuss it with him first. His response was. "Do you really think you are smart enough to pass?" Sociopaths squash the psyche of their victims.

ITA. And if we are disproportionately represented here it is no mere coincidence that it is on a crimesolving website. Afterall, I'd hazard another guess to say that many of us developed a preoccupation/interest in crime after being victimized in one manner or another... even our dear NG lol. Those experiences if nothing hone and sharpen our sense of injustice and is what's made victims' advocates out of so many of us...

Speaking of which when I signed guestbook for Sheri's family, there was a beautiful album, photos of Sheri and the boys, that just broke my heart... Whomever is responsible has a heart of stone, no soul and no conscience. Can't even wrap my little mind around a husband and father--a protector of that same family--being capable of anything so horrendous but pretty much feel this is an arrest watch at this point...

arrot:

 

[SeriouslySearching]

SS, I respect your opinion and thoughts. I will share that unless you have lived part of this kind of life, you cannot understand total manipulation of another. Thankfully, I gather you have had the gift of not having this particular experience.

I won't go into my personal life, but I am well versed on the subject.

People have their own opinions about what went on in the Coleman household and while I do suspect there probably was some abuse...I would like to hear it from the inner circle. Someone knows something. It may be that they have already spoken to LE and it will all come out eventually. If not, I would encourage them to run as fast as they can to tell LE of any suspicions or facts they do have on the subject.

 

[Texas Mist]

AMEN......Isn't it weird - a lot of us have a similar past. Just shows how much abuse is out there and unreported.

You are so right...and it only has to be verbal, mental, emotional & spiritual abuse to keep someone under control...all the easier, IMO, when there are strong religious ties due to the shame & embarrassment.

As far as bruises, etc, my WASband told me as he was pounding my head with his fists that he did the same to his first ex-wife -- so the bruises wouldn't show.

He had an entirely different "face" for friends & family than he did when we were alone, or even when people weren't looking at parties or family get-togethers....he had no problem coming up to me when no one was around saying things like "why were you smiling at him"...WTH -- it's a party!!

I tried only once to tell - and only related the verbal abuse - the pastor's wife...she told me to "pray about it".....(I will always believe that I'd have heard the same response from her had she heard the whole story as I don't believe she would've done any differently had she been in the same situation herself....this was years ago but I don't think things have changed much in small communities.)

So yes - it's possible *noone* knew if CC was terrorizing her.

I'm not knocking religion or churches, and certainly not saying that I *know* these things to be true in Sheri's life, just offering possibilities as to why some things could have happened as they did.

 

[RR0004]

another rumor on the STLtoday comments board...

Sheri's family is in the area... They asked for access to the Columbia house and were turned down by the Coleman family.

This info supposedly came from KTVI Fox news on Saturday. I personally did not see the news yesterday to confirm this info but more than one person over there say they saw it also on the news.

My thoughts below...

It sounds like they went to Columbia PD to find out how to get access to the home and maybe a call was made to the Coleman's in Chester, IL.

I think Columbia PD let the family know that they have no rights to anything in the Columbia home since Sheri's name was not on the deed/title. The only way Sheri's family is going to get anything of Sheri's is if CC agrees to it.

But ya know what? That's not really true. They were married and there are rights that would have been afforded to her whether she was on the deed or not. It all depends on the law of the state. If this is true...that they can't gain access to retrieve some of her belongings, it's just plain wicked.

 

[kiki the parrot]

I strongly disagree. The boys being murdered with Sheri will cause the opposite affect on anyone with knowledge of any kind of abuse. They would be more inclined to come out against Chris in an effort to bring justice to the children and Sheri. Their anger and outrage over the murders would make them eager to speak up.

I am not saying it didn't happen or isn't possible. I am only saying we have no proof yet. No matter how perfect the family appears...there is always a person on the outside that either suspects or knows things are amiss.

And as others have agreed, spoken as someone who has never lived through quite these circumstances. You are missing the point, my own children were the ONLY ones who BELIEVED what was going on inside the home...because THEY were INSIDE the home. Again if you read my post again you will notice I'm not referring to strictly physical battering but to financial control and there is no QUESTION this was occurring. What witnesses are needed? What further "proof" is required when all the baffling and really bad financial facts here have now been brought out in the open I mean whadya want... lol... sorta...
:waitasec:

arrot:

 

[who knew?]

I remember reading somewhere on this thread that CC had taken out a life insurance policy on SC in December 2008. Was this ever verified?

 

[OrdinaryLife]

I remember reading somewhere on this thread that CC had taken out a life insurance policy on SC in December 2008. Was this ever verified?

That was one of my questions earlier. Also, were there any on the two boys.