Should baby K be allowed to see TH? ***POLL***

[Calliope]

For purposes of financial support only, imo. There's nothing to show that either one of them treated J as HIS son after they were divorced except to the extent of TH bleeding him for child support.

To me, this is one of the hugest testaments to her complete lack of character. You don't want to be married to the guy anymore. Fine, move on...and get some other sucker to support your kid. Oh, wait...she did. So two non-fathers supporting the same kid. Howsa 'bout getting a job and supporting your own flesh and blood?

He adopted the child. J is his son.

And I'm not sure how this has anything to do with what I bolded and questioned --- that he is forbidden to see his son.

 

[germaine]

He adopted the child. J is his son.

right...like I said

 

[Calliope]

right...like I said

Glad we agree

So do you happen to know where it's been reported he's forbidden to see his son?

I know he stated he hasn't, but don't recall anything about not being allowed to see J.

 

[gwenabob]

Glad we agree

So do you happen to know where it's been reported he's forbidden to see his son?

I know he stated he hasn't, but don't recall anything about not being allowed to see J.

Well, you have to admit there must have been quite a chill in the air after Terri called the cops on him when he complained about the huge increase in child support. What was Terri doing to make sure J saw his father? Probably nothing. He was no longer useful to her except for the court mandated monthly check. Funny that he is the one paying the kid's bills and yet she sends J to go live with the deadbeat she accused of being a meth user and HIV positive. The one who was such a bad father she had another man take over his fatherly rights. Huh. funny. Why didn't J go live with his adopted father?

 

[Melanie]

Yup - when baby k is 18 and seeks her out Until this case is settled, I wouldn't let TH near the baby...ever.

MOO

 

[Calliope]

Well, you have to admit there must have been quite a chill in the air after Terri called the cops on him when he complained about the huge increase in child support. What was Terri doing to make sure J saw his father? Probably nothing. He was no longer useful to her except for the court mandated monthly check. Funny that he is the one paying the kid's bills and yet she sends J to go live with the deadbeat she accused of being a meth user and HIV positive. The one who was such a bad father she had another man take over his fatherly rights. Huh. funny. Why didn't J go live with his adopted father?

bbm

Well, nvm. I'll just take it point by point.

We have no idea why Terri called the authorities about him contacting her regarding the child support. Were there threats? Was he aggressive? Do we know ANYTHING about the contact made, beyond what little he has said in that one interview?

What was HE doing to make sure he saw his son? That's his job, remember?

btw, what exactly did Terri state about meth / HIV. I've read about this here, but I don't believe I've ever actually seen the documentation. Just claims that she did such.

No one made him give away his 'fatherly rights'.

Why hasn't J gone to live with his father? None of our business, really. It's between J and Terri and his father.

And still, no one has addressed my actual post LOL

So does anyone know where has it been reported that he was forbidden to see J?

 

[Donjeta]

Terri Horman is a former body builder. She is twice divorced. In 1998 she filed a restraining order against her first husband citing his drug use saying:

"No parenting time due to use of meth - use of needles - was AIDS positive - then said he's negative now."

http://www.kget.com/news/local/stor...-missing-boy-case/8PvZw6D9zUCPbeUHjfixKw.cspx

 

[Calliope]

Terri Horman is a former body builder. She is twice divorced. In 1998 she filed a restraining order against her first husband citing his drug use saying:

"No parenting time due to use of meth - use of needles - was AIDS positive - then said he's negative now."

http://www.kget.com/news/local/stor...-missing-boy-case/8PvZw6D9zUCPbeUHjfixKw.cspx

Thanks.

Good for him on getting clean and turning his life around. Seriously, most aren't so lucky. I don't understand the HIV thing; very well could have been a false-positive, or that he simply told her he was positive for whatever reason.

Is there any way to see the actual document?

ETA: The original question was regarding his dad and where is it reported he's forbidden to see his son, not the biological father who was the focus of this RO.

 

[cypress]

Tony, Desiree, and Kaine allowed Terri to remain Kyron's primary caregiver, which included driving him around, after she received a DUI -- does that make them bad parents? I don't think it makes them bad parents -- they realized Terri made a mistake, forgave her, and moved on.

If J's father was an unfit parent at the time of the filing, and he changed, should Terri continue to hold past actions against him? If he's made different and better choices and is a better person now than he was then, shouldn't he be given a chance to be a father to his son? Good relationships can emerge from situations that were at one point less than ideal. We have to allow for people to realize their mistakes, change, and make better choices in the future.

Back on track, yes, Terri should be allowed to see her daughter. By all accounts the only past action attributable to her wherein she endangered a child was an isolated incident. If and/or when the DA brings a case against her, then other evidence may come into play, but IMHO, a child/parent relationship shouldn't be severed because someone has a hunch or thinks something maybe, might be true. There needs to be some evidence to back up that hunch or belief, otherwise child/parent relationships and rights are at the whim of anyone with a grudge or who misunderstands a situation.

 

[SmoothOperator]

bbm

back up a sec, please. I've not seen anything that says he's forbidden from seeing his son.

I do not need to back up. The posts can continue to be dissected and/or nitpicked apart, it is not deflecting from the main[and most important, period]point of the dissected posts, Terri Horman has done a multitude of things that cause GREAT ALARM and EXTREME CONCERN and at this present time she has ZERO access to her young and impressionable daughter[and this is what many of us are saying that we are relieved and very much pleased about]..

It is each of our own prerogative to see Terri's actions, behaviors, etc for what we each believe them to be.. My ego is not in these discussions, therefor I have no need to have anyone agree, approve, or otherwise of MY OWN freely thought and felt opinions, views, theories, etc..

 

[OneLove]

Tony, Desiree, and Kaine allowed Terri to remain Kyron's primary caregiver, which included driving him around, after she received a DUI -- does that make them bad parents? I don't think it makes them bad parents -- they realized Terri made a mistake, forgave her, and moved on.

If J's father was an unfit parent at the time of the filing, and he changed, should Terri continue to hold past actions against him? If he's made different and better choices and is a better person now than he was then, shouldn't he be given a chance to be a father to his son? Good relationships can emerge from situations that were at one point less than ideal. We have to allow for people to realize their mistakes, change, and make better choices in the future.

Back on track, yes, Terri should be allowed to see her daughter. By all accounts the only past action attributable to her wherein she endangered a child was an isolated incident. If and/or when the DA brings a case against her, then other evidence may come into play, but IMHO, a child/parent relationship shouldn't be severed because someone has a hunch or thinks something maybe, might be true. There needs to be some evidence to back up that hunch or belief, otherwise child/parent relationships and rights are at the whim of anyone with a grudge or who misunderstands a situation.

Uhmm.....are you referring to the evidence in the custody of law enforcement and shared with only those people involved in making the judicial decision in the best interests of Baby K? Is the fact that this evidence has not been shared with the media in general or with YOU what leads you to demean its relevance to the title of "just a hunch"??

 

[miabellamoure]

Tony, Desiree, and Kaine allowed Terri to remain Kyron's primary caregiver, which included driving him around, after she received a DUI -- does that make them bad parents? I don't think it makes them bad parents -- they realized Terri made a mistake, forgave her, and moved on.

If J's father was an unfit parent at the time of the filing, and he changed, should Terri continue to hold past actions against him? If he's made different and better choices and is a better person now than he was then, shouldn't he be given a chance to be a father to his son? Good relationships can emerge from situations that were at one point less than ideal. We have to allow for people to realize their mistakes, change, and make better choices in the future.

Back on track, yes, Terri should be allowed to see her daughter. By all accounts the only past action attributable to her wherein she endangered a child was an isolated incident. If and/or when the DA brings a case against her, then other evidence may come into play, but IMHO, a child/parent relationship shouldn't be severed because someone has a hunch or thinks something maybe, might be true. There needs to be some evidence to back up that hunch or belief, otherwise child/parent relationships and rights are at the whim of anyone with a grudge or who misunderstands a situation.

Just wondering if Desiree or Tony stated anywhere this to be true? Do we even know for certain that they knew of Terri's DUI incident?

 

[OneLove]

Just wondering if Desiree or Tony stated anywhere this to be true? Do we even know for certain that they knew of Terri's DUI incident?

I would have a real hard time uming that Terri OR Kaine called them up to tell them about this egregious conviction. I just can't see it happening really. What exactly would be the point? To follow with "nanna nanna booboo, there's nothing you can do about it. Oh WAIT, maybe there IS, nevermind!"?

Of course, it could have happened. I just wouldn't ume it had.

 

[OneLove]

Tony, Desiree, and Kaine allowed Terri to remain Kyron's primary caregiver, which included driving him around, after she received a DUI -- does that make them bad parents? I don't think it makes them bad parents -- they realized Terri made a mistake, forgave her, and moved on.
If J's father was an unfit parent at the time of the filing, and he changed, should Terri continue to hold past actions against him? If he's made different and better choices and is a better person now than he was then, shouldn't he be given a chance to be a father to his son? Good relationships can emerge from situations that were at one point less than ideal. We have to allow for people to realize their mistakes, change, and make better choices in the future.

Back on track, yes, Terri should be allowed to see her daughter. By all accounts the only past action attributable to her wherein she endangered a child was an isolated incident. If and/or when the DA brings a case against her, then other evidence may come into play, but IMHO, a child/parent relationship shouldn't be severed because someone has a hunch or thinks something maybe, might be true. There needs to be some evidence to back up that hunch or belief, otherwise child/parent relationships and rights are at the whim of anyone with a grudge or who misunderstands a situation.

Do you know something, anything, that leads you to believe this?

 

[BeanE]

Uhmm.....are you referring to the evidence in the custody of law enforcement and shared with only those people involved in making the judicial decision in the best interests of Baby K? Is the fact that this evidence has not been shared with the media in general or with YOU what leads you to demean its relevance to the title of "just a hunch"??

You're assuming that LE has inculpatory evidence in their possession. For myself, there having been no arrest, and Staton saying that they are going to try to build a case that the DA can convict, tells me clearly that they do not at this time.

Because of that, I agree with the post you quoted, that it is a reasonable conclusion that LE is currently going on a hunch.

Nothing demeaning about it. It's all about objectivity.

 

[BeanE]

Just wondering if Desiree or Tony stated anywhere this to be true? Do we even know for certain that they knew of Terri's DUI incident?

Do you know something, anything, that leads you to believe this?

Personally, I don't think Kaine would lie by omission to Desiree, the mother of his child, about such a serious thing, when there would have been very serious decisions to make in regard to the care of their son, such as whether or when to let Terri drive Kyron around.

What leads you to believe that Kaine may have lied by omission, or possibly even lied to cover up, about this very serious matter to Desiree?

So far as whether Kaine forgave Terri and moved on, I would say that what he said in the interview in which he discussed it, reflects that.

And personally, I think Desiree did know about it. She was right there during the interview, and if she didn't know, I would have thought she'd have said "Oh my God! Terri had a DUI with a child in the car, and nobody told me?!"

 

[Donjeta]

Which interview are you talking about BeanE?
Desiree might have found out a lot of things about Terri after Kyron disappeared from Kaine, from the police, from the news, from the internet, from other people she's talked to. Just because there may be some interview in which she was already aware of it does not mean that she was told of it at the time it happened and Kyron was still around IMO.

 

[BeanE]

Which interview are you talking about BeanE?
Desiree might have found out a lot of things about Terri after Kyron disappeared from Kaine, from the police, from the news, from the internet, from other people she's talked to. Just because there may be some interview in which she was already aware of it does not mean that she was told of it at the time it happened and Kyron was still around IMO.

Sorry. 25 minute audio with the Oregonian. Link in the All parent interview thread in the reference forum.

 

[nosysw]

Personally, I don't think Kaine would lie by omission to Desiree, the mother of his child, about such a serious thing, when there would have been very serious decisions to make in regard to the care of their son, such as whether or when to let Terri drive Kyron around.
What leads you to believe that Kaine may have lied by omission, or possibly even lied to cover up, about this very serious matter to Desiree?

So far as whether Kaine forgave Terri and moved on, I would say that what he said in the interview in which he discussed it, reflects that.

And personally, I think Desiree did know about it. She was right there during the interview, and if she didn't know, I would have thought she'd have said "Oh my God! Terri had a DUI with a child in the car, and nobody told me?!"

Above BBM:

I am really, really not trying to be snarky or contentious here but I would not be surprised at all to find a man who began a relationship with another woman while his wife was pregnant (regardless of whether or not it was "over") to commit lies of omission. I am not bashing him but maybe he was in denial about the seriousness of the situation (DUI) and convinced himself that he had "handled" it so why add fuel to the fire of the Kaine, Desiree, Terri, triangle. I have found many men (not to bash men either) who would definitely rather avoid situations like these than address them and be in the middle of a possibly confrontational situation. Or even just to avoid rocking the boat and messing up the status quo. Don't know him well enough to say, obviously, but as I said I wouldn't be surprised at all. All IMOO and related to my life experiences...

 

[OneLove]

Above BBM:

I am really, really not trying to be snarky or contentious here but I would not be surprised at all to find a man who began a relationship with another woman while his wife was pregnant (regardless of whether or not it was "over") to commit lies of omission. I am not bashing him but maybe he was in denial about the seriousness of the situation (DUI) and convinced himself that he had "handled" it so why add fuel to the fire of the Kaine, Desiree, Terri, triangle. I have found many men (not to bash men either) who would definitely rather avoid situations like these than address them and be in the middle of a possibly confrontational situation. Or even just to avoid rocking the boat and messing up the status quo. Don't know him well enough to say, obviously, but as I said I wouldn't be surprised at all. All IMOO and related to my life experiences...

ITA. And my opinion is that it is HIGHLY unlikely that he would call Desiree up to tell her something that she could turn around and use in court to try to regain custody of Kyron.

On "lies of omission", my husband's ex failed to tell their two minor children that their stepfather had pled guilty and been convicted of trying to KILL my husband for a hefty life insurance policy. She failed to tell my husband that she left the country for a weeklong vacation, leaving a 14 year old and 10 year old without any adult supervision in the home at all. She failed to tell him that her 14 year old daughter was bulimic and suicidal. She failed to tell him his 16 year old daughter moved out of her house and in with her 16 year old boyfriend's family. The children LEARNED to "lie by omission" from their mother, who always told them their father didn't need to know these things. He had to do serious rescue for them in each one of these situations.

From my experience, when divorced parents live far enough apart for things like this to stay hidden, few go out of their way to divulge self-damaging information that might change custody (and child support).

I am truly, really, happy if your experience and/or exposure in these matters has been more positive. My work in child advocacy has, unfortunately, shown me a preponderance of negative parenting behaviors.