SIDEBAR #14- Arias/Alexander forum

[Zuri]

Why are you suspicious of everything he says? Do you trust him? Let him have a great weekend with his kids and don't worry so much! :seeya:

I get where she is coming from. The old adage "Once a cheater always a cheater" which is not always true. When relationships are new, you are suspicious when things kinda change without reasons given. I am sure that after Fathers Day, things will resume back to normal. I get it.

 

[AuburnSchnauzer]

Hope everyone's having a great weekend. :hug::wave:


A Whiter Shade Of Pale - Procol Harum - YouTube

Hey, Neesaki - Think I need to check out for a few days. We will be out of town for a few days for health reasons. Keep everyone in check, OK?

 

[thefragile7393]

I don't think his ex has anything to do with it...he's never said anything negative about her and I know she's great with their custody arrangement.

He was distant a few weeks ago and when I confronted him (yeah, this wasn't the first time), he texted back that "he wasn't sure what he was thinking, some days things seemed great, other days something seemed to be missing." So we agreed to go with the flow. And things were good after that, he said he felt good about things. But now he's doing the same thing. I DO know he's crazy busy at work, but if you care about someone you make time for them (either in person or on the phone).

I can't help but feel he's seeing someone else. I swear I won't go all JA on him and hack into his computer or start stalking him! I don't know if I'm just being paranoid or if there's some validity to my uneasiness.

Its hard to say. Listening to your gut is good...but sometimes we think our gut is talking when it isn't. I am not.you....so I don't know what to say...it is such a hard call

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Zuri]

Hey, Neesaki - Think I need to check out for a few days. We will be out of town for a few days for health reasons. Keep everyone in check, OK?

Wishing you well. Prayers for you and yours:seeya:

 

[Tenaciousdae]

Haha, you had to go all "Nancy Grace" on me I'll try to keep this short and sweet. I'm having issues with a guy I've been dating for the last few months.

So we met online. We've been out a lot, get along great and have so much fun together. I'm just getting back into dating after a 3 year break from bad and toxic relationships, getting to know myself. J really seems like a great guy....he's divorced with 2 kid, ages 11 and 8. I don't have kids. Anyway, the last 2 weeks he's been a little distant. I confronted him over the phone a few nights ago about it but he swears everything is fine and he's just busy. Last night we went out (NOT his scheduled weekend with the kids), had a great time. Had plans for tonight, but he texted earlier today and bailed, said he unexpectedly has his kids this weekend for Fathers Day. No problem I said, call me later. Haven't heard from him.

Before you say anything, I don't want to be "that girl," and have people think I'm jealous of his children. He's a wonderful, very involved dad. He's been honest with me about the reason for his divorce 5 years ago....he cheated on his wife.

I'm suspicious of everything he says. Where is the line between being suspicious and crazy, and being naïve? I just don't know what to think.

:seeya: My bit of advice, don't date only one man! Keep it fun and light! It is very hard advise to follow but if you look back one day you will see that YOU should be your only priority right now.

Zuri's comment about every dog is different rings true for men too! you have already made the jump to open yourself to dating, use it to meet a variety of men until you have meet the one you know is as honest and true as you are to him.

If you feel hurt that he didn't share his weekend plans with you, then it's ok to be upset, but keep in mind that it takes time to really know someone, and this may be something that he inevitably continues to do... :seeya:

 

[Zuri]

I don't think his ex has anything to do with it...he's never said anything negative about her and I know she's great with their custody arrangement.

He was distant a few weeks ago and when I confronted him (yeah, this wasn't the first time), he texted back that "he wasn't sure what he was thinking, some days things seemed great, other days something seemed to be missing." So we agreed to go with the flow. And things were good after that, he said he felt good about things. But now he's doing the same thing. I DO know he's crazy busy at work, but if you care about someone you make time for them (either in person or on the phone).

I can't help but feel he's seeing someone else. I swear I won't go all JA on him and hack into his computer or start stalking him! I don't know if I'm just being paranoid or if there's some validity to my uneasiness.

As much as it hurts, it may be time to flush. I agree with going with your gut. I call ******** on the crazy work excuse. He may be one. Of those guys that when he really likes somebody, he gets scared and pushes them away. Protect the heart goes both ways. Been married to a doctor for 26 years. He works 6am to 9 pm seeing patients. He is busy. He checks in at least once a day, even for 5 minutes.

You will find the right one if he is not THE one. He is lucky to have you. Period.

 

[neesaki]

And best wishes for a very "lucky" weekend.

Loverboy - Get Lucky [Full Album] [25th Anniversary edition] - YouTube

 

[daisymae]

Nice seeing some familiar insomniacs here tonight!

 

[Mrs G Norris]

I don't think his ex has anything to do with it...he's never said anything negative about her and I know she's great with their custody arrangement.

He was distant a few weeks ago and when I confronted him (yeah, this wasn't the first time), he texted back that "he wasn't sure what he was thinking, some days things seemed great, other days something seemed to be missing." So we agreed to go with the flow. And things were good after that, he said he felt good about things. But now he's doing the same thing. I DO know he's crazy busy at work, but if you care about someone you make time for them (either in person or on the phone).

I can't help but feel he's seeing someone else. I swear I won't go all JA on him and hack into his computer or start stalking him! I don't know if I'm just being paranoid or if there's some validity to my uneasiness.

My advice, let him do ALL the legwork, he may be going through that typical guy unsure phase, if so you might see less of him while he freaks out, and he'll either come back more committed or he wont, but at least in the meantime you can just get on with things more .. try not to think about it, if he pops in with a phone call or wants to take you on a date, great, if not 100% his loss.

Don't bother confronting him about being distant, just try and not let it bother you at all, he's a guy, their wiring is so different on that kind of thing. If you don't even bother contacting him or acting concerned when he hasn't you'll be elevated for it in his eyes, and stress yourself out a whole lot less too

 

[Bernina]

I don't think his ex has anything to do with it...he's never said anything negative about her and I know she's great with their custody arrangement.

He was distant a few weeks ago and when I confronted him (yeah, this wasn't the first time), he texted back that "he wasn't sure what he was thinking, some days things seemed great, other days something seemed to be missing." So we agreed to go with the flow. And things were good after that, he said he felt good about things. But now he's doing the same thing. I DO know he's crazy busy at work, but if you care about someone you make time for them (either in person or on the phone).

I can't help but feel he's seeing someone else. I swear I won't go all JA on him and hack into his computer or start stalking him! I don't know if I'm just being paranoid or if there's some validity to my uneasiness.

If you're into splitting his time between work and 2 kids, and unpredictable schedules, stick it out. Don't settle if you want more. JMO.
Cheating on his now ex-wife would take him off my list immediately, but that's just me. It's like meeting someone with "Caution" tattooed on their forehead and volunteering to be their test dummy for their new found monogamy.
"My ex-wife/girlfriend is great, but we broke up because I cheated on her....." What? :facepalm:

 

[katiecoolady]

Well I just saw on the news that a woman's murdered body was found in the street in my city...and it appears it was about a block away from my house. :/

 

[legalmania]

Who?.....

The Who - Who Are You? - YouTube

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, maybe you don't know who he is but he's the one who took the mic away from Taylor Swift at the grammys .

 

[Mrs G Norris]

Well I just saw on the news that a woman's murdered body was found in the street in my city...and it appears it was about a block away from my house. :/

Found in the street? As in left outside? :scared:

 

[legalmania]

Well I just saw on the news that a woman's murdered body was found in the street in my city...and it appears it was about a block away from my house. :/

That's awful I'm sure your going to get a good nights sleep tonight.

 

[katiecoolady]

Found in the street? As in left outside? :scared:

Yes...that's what they reported. Apparently neighbors of mine (not in my townhome complex but just outside it) heard what sounded like gun shots or something last night. THen this morning went outside and this woman's body was in the street. I don't know the exact address but they said 1/4 mi this particular direction from this particular intersection which basically describes exactly where I live. Sigh....maybe I'll just move up to Sedona. This is a nice neighborhood!

 

[katiecoolady]

That's awful I'm sure your going to get a good nights sleep tonight.

I'm sayin....an identifying item was she had braces on her teeth. I don't know why that struck me as so sad but it did.

 

[AuburnSchnauzer]

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, maybe you don't know who he is but he's the one who took the mic away from Taylor Swift at the grammys .

Why should that be important to me or others?

 

[Mrs G Norris]

If you're into splitting his time between work and 2 kids, and unpredictable schedules, stick it out. Don't settle if you want more. JMO.
Cheating on his now ex-wife would take him off my list immediately, but that's just me. It's like meeting someone with "Caution" tattooed on their forehead and volunteering to be their test dummy for their new found monogamy.
"My ex-wife/girlfriend is great, but we broke up because I cheated on her....." What? :facepalm:

Good point .. can I change my advice? Why don't you flip it on him, just use him for sex until something better comes along, and feed HIM with all sorts of BS lies, if he catches you just say you didn't realise you were all that committed with each other anyway. Seriously though, maybe he is just a 'good time guy' for you until someone better comes along, if you have kids don't introduce him to them, and don't hang out with his .. :floorlaugh:

 

[legalmania]

Yes...that's what they reported. Apparently neighbors of mine (not in my townhome complex but just outside it) heard what sounded like gun shots or something last night. THen this morning went outside and this woman's body was in the street. I don't know the exact address but they said 1/4 mi this particular direction from this particular intersection which basically describes exactly where I live. Sigh....maybe I'll just move up to Sedona. This is a nice neighborhood!

Then you only have to worry about the aliens taking you.

 

[Tenaciousdae]

If you're into splitting his time between work and 2 kids, and unpredictable schedules, stick it out. Don't settle if you want more. JMO.
Cheating on his now ex-wife would take him off my list immediately, but that's just me. It's like meeting someone with "Caution" tattooed on their forehead and volunteering to be their test dummy for their new found monogamy.
"My ex-wife/girlfriend is great, but we broke up because I cheated on her....." What? :facepalm:

Just from my own personal experience...it's also good to be weary of the ones that the ex-wife cheated on them. You may never meet her to know the truth, but ultimately there was some sort of disfunction in the relationship... But over time the puzzle pieces will fall :seeya: