SIDEBAR #14- Arias/Alexander forum

[AuburnSchnauzer]

I suck at casual dating...absolutely suck at it. But I didn't in the 80s. I just can't seem to do it anymore. So I have friends and pauses while I'm still holding the flame for true love.

Believe me, I wish I was better at what you describe above, I'm just not. Ugh!

Yes that intuition "gift of fear" thing is just something to be respected in all areas!

Hey, Sistah! What is the definition of "casual dating"? I don't recall ever casual dating. Probably because I didn't. I hung around with and had sex with guys when in my teens. Led Zeppelin days please do understand...

But now I know - I live in the South and met a wonderful Christian Man that served our Great Country 1968-1971 while I was acting like a dam idiot...

 

[katiecoolady]

I agree 150%, thank you. I don't even know what else to say, other than you're totally right. It doesn't matter if he's done something wrong, but the fact that I'm feeling this way tells me that either I'm not ready to be in a relationship or he isn't the right person for me.

Again, thank you all for your replies. I really needed it tonight.

Believe me, there are some things I know something about but relationships, you might think I do as I've had far too much experience floating in and out of them, BUT I have these kinds of notions for lack of a better word which is about the best I can do.

That kind of ambivalence you are describing in this fella would make me feel very off balance and anxious. I think when a guy is really in to you, you just know it. And if he's holding out for something else, he's either got big issues about intimacy or he's just not the right one for YOU.

I think the best relationships are where the woman truly feels cherished and like the "prize" and it's demonstrated in a whole lot of ways. That's my idealized philosophy anyway and I just can't settle for less.

 

[katiecoolady]

Hey, Sistah! What is the definition of "casual dating"? I don't recall ever casual dating. Probably because I didn't. I hung around with and had sex with guys when in my teens. Led Zeppelin days please do understand...

But now I know - I live in the South and met a wonderful Christian Man that served our Great Country 1968-1971 while I was acting like a dam idiot...

LOL! I guess I'll just come right out and say it. Casual sex.

 

[katiecoolady]

Maybe it's not you, maybe you just haven't meet the right guy yet? They always say when your not looking is when the right one comes along.

Ya know what, every true thing in my life, including the few truly incredible relationships I've had (and I don't count my husband on that list...not a bad situation at all, just not "incredible") has happened when I least expected it, often with really bad timing.

Job wise, house wise, things like that. I've had a lot of good fortune that has landed in my lap so I'm holding out for a magical experience like that. I've just been waiting a while. Sometimes the waiting gets...well, frustrating.

I've just been a lot of care taking and busy-ness lately and sometimes I just get weary but not weary enough to settle for something less than extraordinary. :seeya:

But yes, I agree with you in case it doesn't appear that way. lol

 

[Mrs G Norris]

One other man fact I learnt: If he's really into you he'll state it repeatedly over and over again, there's no mistaking it. There is no such thing as a grey area, if a guy who is right for you pulls back, he's already stated his interest in no uncertain terms and will state his need to pull back in no uncertain terms too. They are not uncomplicated creatures, but all men need space, they also need to be the one directing the speed and flow of the relationship, meaning arranging dates, making calls etc.

OK that's a general rule, but it worked for me.

 

[TartLemon]

Really getting a giggle thinking of Jodi immediately put into virtual solitary after the tornado of media she liked so well.

 

[AuburnSchnauzer]

LOL! I guess I'll just come right out and say it. Casual sex.

Gross!!! It was unprotected Dangerous sex. Though Casual. Those were the ghonnoreah times! :facepalm:

 

[katiecoolady]

One other man fact I learnt: If he's really into you he'll state it repeatedly over and over again, there's no mistaking it. There is no such thing as a grey area, if a guy who is right for you pulls back, he's already stated his interest in no uncertain terms and will state his need to pull back in no uncertain terms too. They are not uncomplicated creatures, but all men need space, they also need to be the one directing the speed and flow of the relationship, meaning arranging dates, making calls etc.

OK that's a general rule, but it worked for me.

Do you take credit cards? I can see I'm gonna need you down the road. lease:

 

[Mrs G Norris]

LOL! I guess I'll just come right out and say it. Casual sex.

I prefer to call it 'making like a Geisha' :floorlaugh:

 

[katiecoolady]

Gross!!! It was unprotected Dangerous sex. Though Casual. Those were the ghonnoreah times! :facepalm:

We were all having a lot of fun before AIDS landed. I had my share of fun that's for sure. (is this tmi?).

 

[katiecoolady]

I prefer to call it 'making like a Geisha' :floorlaugh:

You make everything sound so elegant. lol

 

[Tenaciousdae]

One other man fact I learnt: If he's really into you he'll state it repeatedly over and over again, there's no mistaking it. There is no such thing as a grey area, if a guy who is right for you pulls back, he's already stated his interest in no uncertain terms and will state his need to pull back in no uncertain terms too. They are not uncomplicated creatures, but all men need space, they also need to be the one directing the speed and flow of the relationship, meaning arranging dates, making calls etc.

OK that's a general rule, but it worked for me.

:seeya: Great advice Mrs. G!

 

[AuburnSchnauzer]

Really getting a giggle thinking of Jodi immediately put into virtual solitary after the tornado of media she liked so well.

I cannot stand CMA and I hope it shows !!! :drumroll:

Edit: If I said something wrong, mods, please delete.

 

[Mrs G Norris]

You make everything sound so elegant. lol

Have you watched Dangerous Liasons 100 times? I swear I watched that movie daily in my early 20's, all wisdom is contained therein :floorlaugh: Here's a hint, the best player in the game was the Michelle Pfeiffer character ..

 

[jacalyn]

You know what I think is still affecting me is this film I saw last night called The Reluctant Fundamentalist. This guy was just tested over and over and over again and maintained his resiliency and sense of his core self. It really touched me. Now THAT character has a true testimony that makes sense to me. The other fluffy stuff is just sometimes ...ugh! Where is my dang wine already???

this is the film:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2032557/

Oh Oh, guilty your dang wine is located in my tummy! It's said God only gives you as much as you can handle. There was a time in my life I disagreed, took my alarm, held it up in the air, shouted God WAKE UP, your giving me more than I can handle. Funny thing after, things changed, yes for the good. Kind of have the attitude now, if you don't have bad days, how do you know when you have good days. However, your past days are not classified as bad days, more like a nightmare. You've really had it hard and don't blame you wanting to know why you, and your family was faced with such unfairness. Sending you a hug, night KCL.

 

[katiecoolady]

Have you watched Dangerous Liasons 100 times? I swear I watched that movie daily in my early 20's, all wisdom is contain therein :floorlaugh: Here's a hint, the best player in the game was the Michelle Pfeiffer character ..

How about Valmont? I watched that recently and I still suck! lol

 

[AuburnSchnauzer]

We were all having a lot of fun before AIDS landed. I had my share of fun that's for sure. (is this tmi?).

Full Stop here...

 

[Mrs G Norris]

How about Valmont? I watched that recently and I still suck! lol

Madame de Tourvel played him, she's the one to watch in that movie, love Valmont .. great movie!

 

[katiecoolady]

Madame de Tourvel played him, she's the one to watch in that movie, love Valmont .. great movie!

Annette Bening right?

 

[m1279]

Anyone else love these? Chicken in a Biskit.....seriously the bomb.