SIDEBAR #20- Arias/Alexander forum

[Ricki]

thank you so much everyone for your kind words, you are all so sweet!

i went back to doc today and i'm still measuring at 6 weeks w/no heartbeat so basically it's inevitable that i am going to miscarry. dr said he'd like my body to pass the tissue (i feel weird calling it that just using his words), naturally before doing a D&C but he's going to give me until next friday to do so, if not I will have to have D&C early that next week due to infection risk. He sent me home with pain meds in case it starts and i have bad cramps, if not i can save them for after the D&C. As i said earlier and i truly mean, I am really not that upset. Maybe that will change but I just am so focused on my two young children right now that I haven't really processed it. I expressed this to my doctor and he said that a lot of women do feel that way but not to be suprised if my feelings change once the actual physical aspect of the miscarriage starts so we'll see. It really is true about woman's intuition. I had a feeling since the get-go that something wasn't right with this pregnancy, I guess I'm just grateful that we caught it early and not later when it might have been more emotionally difficult. Thank you all for listening/reading/showing your support, you all rock!

Molly, I really do not know what to say except I am sorry this is happening.
I hope that when nature takes its course that it will go smoothly, without pain and hopefully no emotional upheaval.

 

[ElleElle]

thank you so much everyone for your kind words, you are all so sweet!

i went back to doc today and i'm still measuring at 6 weeks w/no heartbeat so basically it's inevitable that i am going to miscarry. dr said he'd like my body to pass the tissue (i feel weird calling it that just using his words), naturally before doing a D&C but he's going to give me until next friday to do so, if not I will have to have D&C early that next week due to infection risk. He sent me home with pain meds in case it starts and i have bad cramps, if not i can save them for after the D&C. As i said earlier and i truly mean, I am really not that upset. Maybe that will change but I just am so focused on my two young children right now that I haven't really processed it. I expressed this to my doctor and he said that a lot of women do feel that way but not to be suprised if my feelings change once the actual physical aspect of the miscarriage starts so we'll see. It really is true about woman's intuition. I had a feeling since the get-go that something wasn't right with this pregnancy, I guess I'm just grateful that we caught it early and not later when it might have been more emotionally difficult. Thank you all for listening/reading/showing your support, you all rock!

:seeya: Hang in there. I am not certain of your age, but right now your body thinks it's pregnant. Once it is not, your hormones will go into roller-coaster mode. Get plenty of rest and do/take something to ease off the edge; even if it's simply a walk, bubble bath and a comforting beverage of some sort.

I am in a similar boat, being 39 and now knowing for sure I will never carry a child. I try not to think about it, but it is tough.

All of you are wonderful to share your experiences and it is a warm, fuzzy feeling knowing we are not alone. :hug:

 

[ElleElle]

Yes, I did ask. What I got was, both candidates were impressive but the 2 men that interviewed me on interview 2, offered the job to the other candidate. The woman who interviewed me and sent me the email said she did not know what the deciding factor was.

Sounds like it's a good thing... "she did not know what the deciding factor was"?

That sounds like an organized company IMO. If it came down to 2 candidates, you should be provided a reason as to why you were not the successful candidate.

Sorry, not trying to be pessimistic, but it upsets me when there is perceived laziness on an employers part. *rant*

 

[Ricki]

Sounds like it's a good thing... "she did not know what the deciding factor was"?

That sounds like an organized company IMO. If it came down to 2 candidates, you should be provided a reason as to why you were not the successful candidate.

Sorry, not trying to be pessimistic, but it upsets me when there is perceived laziness on an employers part. *rant*

IDK. Maybe she just did not want to elaborate, but it would sure help to know. Whatever it was, me knowing, could help me improve. Right?

 

[ElleElle]

IDK. Maybe she just did not want to elaborate, but it would sure help to know. Whatever it was, me knowing, could help me improve. Right?

Certainly. On the many job interviews in my life I always asked for direct feedback.

On a side note, i've learnt to "sell myself" more while interviewing. Smiling lots and just genuinely happy.

As a matter of fact, I have an interview on Tuesday for an internal position! ack

 

[LinasK]

thank you so much everyone for your kind words, you are all so sweet!

i went back to doc today and i'm still measuring at 6 weeks w/no heartbeat so basically it's inevitable that i am going to miscarry. dr said he'd like my body to pass the tissue (i feel weird calling it that just using his words), naturally before doing a D&C but he's going to give me until next friday to do so, if not I will have to have D&C early that next week due to infection risk. He sent me home with pain meds in case it starts and i have bad cramps, if not i can save them for after the D&C. As i said earlier and i truly mean, I am really not that upset. Maybe that will change but I just am so focused on my two young children right now that I haven't really processed it. I expressed this to my doctor and he said that a lot of women do feel that way but not to be suprised if my feelings change once the actual physical aspect of the miscarriage starts so we'll see. It really is true about woman's intuition. I had a feeling since the get-go that something wasn't right with this pregnancy, I guess I'm just grateful that we caught it early and not later when it might have been more emotionally difficult. Thank you all for listening/reading/showing your support, you all rock!

I've done both miscarried naturally and had D&C's. Trust me, you want the D&C. The cramping is horrible, you don't want to have an infection, the miscarriage is a given, and the D&C wasn't bad. Worst part was vomiting afterwards from the anesthesia.

 

[Ricki]

Certainly. On the many job interviews in my life I always asked for direct feedback.

On a side note, i've learnt to "sell myself" more while interviewing. Smiling lots and just genuinely happy.

As a matter of fact, I have an interview on Tuesday for an internal position! ack

I did smile a lot, and thought I was selling myself. The president was impressed with my questions. The CEO, although very nice, seemed more cool. He was more about do you need insurance, did you have paid time off at last position. IDK maybe it had to do with money. I will drive myself crazy if I keep trying to figure out why. Would of been nice if they would just say.

I wish you luck on your interview.

 

[gcharlie]

Molly, I really do not know what to say except I am sorry this is happening.
I hope that when nature takes its course that it will go smoothly, without pain and hopefully no emotional upheaval.

Molly, feel my hugs, as Mom would say.

You remind me of me, being practical, because this is how I would have looked at it. I like the way that Rickki phrased things and so I echo them back to you.

Someone else made a good point about hormonal changes and how you might feel differently after your body completes the miscarriage. I have plenty of hugs for you now and later, girlfriend.

Must feel strange knowing what is going on in your body and waiting to see if nature will take its course or not?

:hug:

 

[ElleElle]

I did smile a lot, and thought I was selling myself. The president was impressed with my questions. The CEO, although very nice, seemed more cool. He was more about do you need insurance, did you have paid time off at last position. IDK maybe it had to do with money. I will drive myself crazy if I keep trying to figure out why. Would of been nice if they would just say.

I wish you luck on your interview.

Aha! It could be a financial thing, especially now with the US in the "unknown". I think maybe companies are scared to hire right now.

I know in Canada, alot of companies hire "on-call", "temporary", and part-time so they are not obligated to pay out benefits.

It's like they expect us to be self-sufficient, but alot of have health issues and families to take care of.

 

[Mollyandme]

Molly, feel my hugs, as Mom would say.

You remind me of me, being practical, because this is how I would have looked at it. I like the way that Rickki phrased things and so I echo them back to you.

Someone else made a good point about hormonal changes and how you might feel differently after your body completes the miscarriage. I have plenty of hugs for you now and later, girlfriend.

Must feel strange knowing what is going on in your body and waiting to see if nature will take its course or not?

:hug:

yes it is very strange. im almost afraid to leave the house b/c im worried it will start while i'm out or something, it's been rainy here the past few days and is supposed to rain the next two days so thats an excuse to stay in w/the kids. dr said i can call if i want to have a d&c sooner, so i might call tmw and see if we can schedule it for early next week. he said i would be asleep or twilight sedation or something so he has to schedule it with the O.R. at the hospital. Im such a hypochondriac that i'll be so paranoid of infection if i don't have a D&C so i'd rather just do it and get it over with, especially if they are going to put me asleep.

 

[LinasK]

yes it is very strange. im almost afraid to leave the house b/c im worried it will start while i'm out or something, it's been rainy here the past few days and is supposed to rain the next two days so thats an excuse to stay in w/the kids. dr said i can call if i want to have a d&c sooner, so i might call tmw and see if we can schedule it for early next week. he said i would be asleep or twilight sedation or something so he has to schedule it with the O.R. at the hospital. Im such a hypochondriac that i'll be so paranoid of infection if i don't have a D&C so i'd rather just do it and get it over with, especially if they are going to put me asleep.

That was my feeling and I got the "twilight sedation", it was an IV cocktail with Phentanyl in it. I was awake, but soo out of it. Phentanyl is a "happy drug"! I felt Euphoric, and would have thought it was hilarious if you told me the sky was blue.

 

[ElleElle]

yes it is very strange. im almost afraid to leave the house b/c im worried it will start while i'm out or something, it's been rainy here the past few days and is supposed to rain the next two days so thats an excuse to stay in w/the kids. dr said i can call if i want to have a d&c sooner, so i might call tmw and see if we can schedule it for early next week. he said i would be asleep or twilight sedation or something so he has to schedule it with the O.R. at the hospital. Im such a hypochondriac that i'll be so paranoid of infection if i don't have a D&C so i'd rather just do it and get it over with, especially if they are going to put me asleep.

Have you ever had surgery? I believe they will give you a "twilight" medicine to keep you 1/2 awake so you will not need anyone to drive you home, versus "going under".

I did not get a D&C when I miscarried and I think I should have. You will know once you start spotting and cramping will be more intense.

 

[franquerolane]

That was my feeling and I got the "twilight sedation", it was an IV cocktail with Phentanyl in it. I was awake, but soo out of it. Phentanyl is a "happy drug"! I felt Euphoric, and would have thought it was hilarious if you told me the sky was blue.

Sounds like pot from the 70's.

 

[gcharlie]

Sounds like pot from the 70's.

Not the Nebraska weed that I did not inhale...:floorlaugh::floorlaugh:

 

[m1279]

Ricki and Meghan, I'm SO sorry for what you're going through. Enormous hugs to both of you.

Ricki, I've been in your shoes and trust me, I know how frustrated and scared you are. There's a difference between job searching while you're still employed (when you can take your time and find the "right" job) and while you're out of work and NEED something asap. You start feeling desperate and vulnerable almost. Keep on hanging in there...something WILL happen for you!

Mollyandme...nothing to say other than big hugs and positive thoughts to you my dear!

 

[m1279]

Have you ever had surgery? I believe they will give you a "twilight" medicine to keep you 1/2 awake so you will not need anyone to drive you home, versus "going under".

I did not get a D&C when I miscarried and I think I should have. You will know once you start spotting and cramping will be more intense.

I'm going to chime in here and say that if (god forbid) I were to miscarry again I'd prefer a D&C. I've gone through it naturally and surgically, and surgically I felt I was able to process the healing and grieving quicker. Physically it was relatively painless and I was home in no time. Going through it naturally I was much more emotional and the physical pain was more intense. I hope none of that sounds cold or too frank.

Just my :twocents: , but whatever you choose you know we're all here for you!

 

[Mollyandme]

Have you ever had surgery? I believe they will give you a "twilight" medicine to keep you 1/2 awake so you will not need anyone to drive you home, versus "going under".

I did not get a D&C when I miscarried and I think I should have. You will know once you start spotting and cramping will be more intense.

yea i have been under twilight once and fully under twice, i was loving life haha

 

[Mollyandme]

I'm going to chime in here and say that if (god forbid) I were to miscarry again I'd prefer a D&C. I've gone through it naturally and surgically, and surgically I felt I was able to process the healing and grieving quicker. Physically it was relatively painless and I was home in no time. Going through it naturally I was much more emotional and the physical pain was more intense. I hope none of that sounds cold or too frank.

Just my :twocents: , but whatever you choose you know we're all here for you!

thank you! i agree with you, I think it would be better to get teh D&C, and no it doesn't sound cold i appreciate the advice

 

[m1279]

I have two questions for all of you:

1. When not on the Sidebar here, on what forums do you spend your WS time?

I spend the majority of my WS time now in the Missing and Located forums. I'm not much of a sleuther so I really just read along. It's baffling, terrifying, and heartbreaking how people can just up and vanish. I joined a little over a year ago when our sweet Iowa girls Liz and Lyric disappeared, and until then I guess I was pretty naive.

2. How does a member become "banned," or "inactive?" I've noticed on some older threads (but some as recent as 2 years ago) that underneath some user names it shows them as banned or inactive members.

Just questions I've been pondering and finally got around to asking!

 

[Ricki]

I have two questions for all of you:

1. When not on the Sidebar here, on what forums do you spend your WS time?

I spend the majority of my WS time now in the Missing and Located forums. I'm not much of a sleuther so I really just read along. It's baffling, terrifying, and heartbreaking how people can just up and vanish. I joined a little over a year ago when our sweet Iowa girls Liz and Lyric disappeared, and until then I guess I was pretty naive.

2. How does a member become "banned," or "inactive?" I've noticed on some older threads (but some as recent as 2 years ago) that underneath some user names it shows them as banned or inactive members.

Just questions I've been pondering and finally got around to asking!

I go to the missing and located forums also. I do not post much there. I also like the jury room where there are many topics, some funny, some serious, some poster looking for advice. It is a friendly place. I also visit the prayer forum and I still go check the Caylee Anthony thread.

You can get banned for breaking TOS, not following the rules, fighting with a poster...that sort of thing.