SIDEBAR #20- Arias/Alexander forum

[Ricki]

BBM~ :floorlaugh: Sorry I read that funny. Were either of you wearing s skirt?

LOL. I was not. I had on black dress pants and a nice, stark white sweater and black heels.

 

[ILikeToBendPages]

Which is why you never discuss your marital status or dependents in an interview.

It is off limits in an interview unless you bring it up. Don't open that door!

I've worked in upper management positions, so it would be very surprising if I got asked these kinds of questions in an interview. Still, I could see some places asking them when hiring for lower level positions. I'm not always so fast on my feet trying to turn around the questions that should never have been asked in the first place...maybe other people here can offer some answers.

It is really important to know what kind of questions prospective employers cannot ask when hiring and to understand the things not to bring up during the chit chat part of the interview.

True, but in the course of that interview they will know if you're married and have kids. It'll be through casual conversation, and most won't be aware since it's not a direct question. They try to put you at ease and seem friendly and interested, and human nature being human nature many will say something about their family or lives. It's psychological of how you appear to people. If you're aggressive they will be more uptight and tight liped, but a friendly face? You're gonna tell.

 

[m1279]

Ok, so I lied....can't sleep so I'm back on here reading along.

Ricki, have you registered with every temp/staffing agency in your town? I live in Des Moines, so not a "big" city, and we have tons of those agencies. My sister just moved here from Miami, FL and found a job in payroll/HR through a staffing agency. I've used these agencies many, many times in the 8 years that I've lived here.

Maybe you should relocate to Des Moines, IA and be my roommate while you job search Now that my sister has moved out I'm actually a little lonely!

In all honesty though, is relocation an option for you? The economy varies from city to city.

 

[Ricki]

True, but in the course of that interview they will know if you're married and have kids. It'll be through casual conversation, and most won't be aware since it's not a direct question. They try to put you at ease and seem friendly and interested, and human nature being human nature many will say something about their family or lives. It's psychological of how you appear to people. If you're aggressive they will be more uptight and tight liped, but a friendly face? You're gonna tell.

The CEO made me feel comfortable at first, not so much as the interview went on. The president made me feel comfortable throughout the whole interview and seemed very interested in me. Some of the conversation was very light and friendly. The president even did start asking about salary requirements and was not ruffled when I told him the range I would like. I took that as a positive thing.

 

[ElleElle]

They did ask if I met the other administrative assistant. I said yes, she was pleasant and we had grandchildren in common. Maybe that was a mistake.

Not a mistake per se. But I would of answered kept my answer to a simple yes or no.

I received feedback from a job interview. They said the more I talked the more nervous I became.

I scale my answers back now, and love those awkward moments when there is dead silence after there is nothing left to say.

It's a sink or swim world out there. No more Ms. Extra Sugary Nice for this chick!

 

[Ricki]

Ok, so I lied....can't sleep so I'm back on here reading along.

Ricki, have you registered with every temp/staffing agency in your town? I live in Des Moines, so not a "big" city, and we have tons of those agencies. My sister just moved here from Miami, FL and found a job in payroll/HR through a staffing agency. I've used these agencies many, many times in the 8 years that I've lived here.

Maybe you should relocate to Des Moines, IA and be my roommate while you job search Now that my sister has moved out I'm actually a little lonely!

In all honesty though, is relocation an option for you? The economy varies from city to city.

LOL. A change of atmosphere might be nice but don't you have long cold winters.
Seriously, I am registered with a staffing agency and just applied for a job tonight through another. Did not have luck with the first. I am registered with multiple job boards to and constantly get emails from them regarding jobs but most are not a fit, even though I posted what I am looking for. For intance:data entry, I get jobs for data analyst. IT tech I have even gotten emails for..get this..Border Control. What!!! It is a long and tedious chore to weed through the jobs.

 

[Nore]

i will usually read along and follow with whatever the latest big case is like when Alexis Murphy went missing or the Hannah Anderson case, the others i check on a regular basis are Kyron Horman, Elaina Steinfurth, Jon Benet Ramsey, Amanda Knox, and lately Madeline McCann. I don't really post much just read. I have an unpopular opinion on Kyron Horman (dont think Terri was involved at all) and so i gave up trying to post bc everytime i would it was just shot down immediately. Tried posting about amanda knox but i really am not as knowledgable on it as most of the posters so I kinda just read along now. I really mostly post in here and lurk everywhere else.

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Hi, Molly you and I have things in common as far as sleuthing goes. I read a lot! I follow the jessica Ridgeway~Sigg trial. I want to see him off to prison throw away the key. Elaina S. is another one I follow. Neither doing much at this time. I think the boyfriend killed her, the poor baby. She NEVER smiled. That says a lot to me. I peek on others too. Then there is little Lisa, so adorable. I think they tried to cover an accident . Haleighy Cummings I still am out on that one! Alexis the same, just arent sure. I stay signed in so many times it looks like I am on when I'm not.:seeya:

 

[gcharlie]

With job interviews and the idle chit chat part, I usually talk about the place where I'm interviewing, focusing the conversation on the job an workplace. It's either an interesting old building or modern and clean. Easy to drive to. People seem really friendly here. Try to remember the first person you spoke to when you walked in the door and make a compliment about them and ask how long that person has worked there...blah, blah, blah. That kind of stuff so that I have steered the conversation towards the workplace and that I am observant. I steer clear of the personal talk, but try to let my personality come through. Friendly, courteous and with a good sense of humor.

I'm hopeless in terms of my sense of direction, so when I'm given the tour, I always make some lame joke about that.

Gosh, aren't interviews fun?

 

[ElleElle]

With job interviews and the idle chit chat part, I usually talk about the place where I'm interviewing, focusing the conversation on the job an workplace. It's either an interesting old building or modern and clean. Easy to drive to. People seem really friendly here. Try to remember the first person you spoke to when you walked in the door and make a compliment about them and ask how long that person has worked there...blah, blah, blah. That kind of stuff so that I have steered the conversation towards the workplace and that I am observant. I steer clear of the personal talk, but try to let my personality come through. Friendly, courteous and with a good sense of humor.

I'm hopeless in terms of my sense of direction, so when I'm given the tour, I always make some lame joke about that.

Gosh, aren't interviews fun?

Exactly. It's almost a game. It took me many years to separate business from personal and I still do it on occasion.

I'm so quirky and goofy and try to make people laugh also. The best thing is to roll with it and be confident in yourself.

I have no idea how many candidates i'm up against next week, but I most certainly will make sure they remember me. I think skills and experience are important but so is the unique qualities each one of use possess and allow that to shine through.

 

[Ricki]

With job interviews and the idle chit chat part, I usually talk about the place where I'm interviewing, focusing the conversation on the job an workplace. It's either an interesting old building or modern and clean. Easy to drive to. People seem really friendly here. Try to remember the first person you spoke to when you walked in the door and make a compliment about them and ask how long that person has worked there...blah, blah, blah. That kind of stuff so that I have steered the conversation towards the workplace and that I am observant. I steer clear of the personal talk, but try to let my personality come through. Friendly, courteous and with a good sense of humor.

I'm hopeless in terms of my sense of direction, so when I'm given the tour, I always make some lame joke about that.

Gosh, aren't interviews fun?

Good advice. All of it and I did most of those things. The woman who greeted me was nice. I told her the place was nice and very quiet. I told the woman interviewing me (1st interview) the drive took me no time at all. Asked her how long she was employed there. Told them they provided a good service. I said I liked the company culture. Ask what a typical day for that particular position looked like. Stuff like that. Yes, there was a bit of personal talk but not much.

I don't know. All I know is that I am exhausted and am going to turn in.
Hope you all have a restful sleep.

 

[SwampMama]

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nat...den-spoon-abuse-court-rules-article-1.1480975

Spanking child with wooden spoon is not abuse, Calif. court rules

SAN JOSE, Calif. — A state appeals court on Tuesday tossed out child abuse findings against a frustrated Northern California mother who spanked her 12-year-old daughter with a wooden spoon.

This case has nothing to do with the convicted killer known as JA but it is interesting that a court in California said spoon smacking wasn't abuse. I'm not one for hitting kids but personally I think Jodi wasn't smacked hard enough or often enough.

It'd be funny if this ruling for California was brought up in JA's trial just to let the jury know that JA's pathetic spoon beating story does NOT constitute abuse.

 

[azwriter]

Just set an appointment with the dermatologist, first opening is 23rd, but at least I can get some more ointment. I have some expired ointment left to use for now.

The heating/a.c. guy came Friday and yesterday. He fixed the unit so it works, but it is still leaking and will short circuit again.

I just sent a fax to the landlord about it still leaking and about the mold growth. I do not think they will send anyone to fix the mold, I have no idea. The building is very old (1910) and is full of mold, so I doubt the firewall material being moldy will bother them. I did include that it is causing allergic reactions, and it is getting difficult to breathe in there. It got better when I left for work. I turned on my room size air filter, hoping that will help. The skin allergies didn't start until I moved into this apartment. (Always had allergic rhinitis though.) I didn't think the apartment was the cause as I've lived in worse places, but now I think it is, and my lease just renewed on the 1st for another year. Carpet, dust mites, mold in walls. :sigh:


Thanks for the info. I hope the landlords do something about it, I don't know if I can spray bleach in there, but I included in the fax that if they recommend something I can spray in there, I will get to it immediately.

I feel for ya. I'm allergic to two types of molds. One in the soil here in AZ which means staying indoors during our dust storms. The other comes with molds growing from leaks indoors. I use a good old can of Lysol spray in the areas of the leak. It works for me and cuts that musty smell. Try it and I hope it helps.

 

[Carpe Pacem]

Molly and Ricki ~

Especially now, be good to yourselves howsoever you can!

 

[Ricki]

Good Morning,

I slept well, but still tired. I went over my interview in my head several times and came to the conclusion that it was the money that held me back. It was at that time (when money was being brought up) that the CEO got a little cool and he and the pres were going back and forth a bit. I wish I was versed in the art of negotiation. I would of taken less to get in that place.

 

[LambChop]

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nat...den-spoon-abuse-court-rules-article-1.1480975

Spanking child with wooden spoon is not abuse, Calif. court rules

SAN JOSE, Calif. — A state appeals court on Tuesday tossed out child abuse findings against a frustrated Northern California mother who spanked her 12-year-old daughter with a wooden spoon.

This case has nothing to do with the convicted killer known as JA but it is interesting that a court in California said spoon smacking wasn't abuse. I'm not one for hitting kids but personally I think Jodi wasn't smacked hard enough or often enough.

It'd be funny if this ruling for California was brought up in JA's trial just to let the jury know that JA's pathetic spoon beating story does NOT constitute abuse.

I believe JA has convinced her parents this all happened because it was their fault due to the punishment she received as a child. She has convinced them they were abusive and should have found a more constructive way to raise her. jmo

 

[Mollyandme]

Exactly. It's almost a game. It took me many years to separate business from personal and I still do it on occasion.

I'm so quirky and goofy and try to make people laugh also. The best thing is to roll with it and be confident in yourself.

I have no idea how many candidates i'm up against next week, but I most certainly will make sure they remember me. I think skills and experience are important but so is the unique qualities each one of use possess and allow that to shine through.

i'm the same way. i worked for a big county for awhile and switched departments so when i did that i had to have an interview, but the people already knew all about me, knew i was pregnant with my first child, etc so it was a little easier also because i still kept my same vacation time, benefits, etc, it was a lateral move. when i first graduated college and got my first job, the lady who interviewed me was also a Penn State alum so we talked about that. Both offices were also basically all women so I think they wanted someone nice and friendly that they thought would "fit in." it also wasn't the most professional of places as I found out when they tried to screw me out of taking time off for drs appts when i was preggo w/my son, which is why i eventually left and the administrator (who i think i spoke with once the whole time i worked there, she was not nice) got in trouble from the personnel department. The interview i had for my new job i start in a few weeks was somewhat similar but it was through a staffing agency and the girl interviewing me was younger than me lol, plus it's the type of job they always need people for (im working part time while going back to get a second degree in nursing) so it wasn't difficult. I will be working with kids who have behavioral issues in their school and at their homes and implementing behavioral plans with the families. This is a job there is always a need for, so if anyone is interested in this line of work and has a bachelors degree it's something to look into.

i would say a smile goes a long way, but definitely the culture of the company is important too. i have also never been interviewed by a man so i dont know if that changes things. i saw a show once i forget what channel it was on, but it was all about how interviewers will try in subtle ways to get the important stuff out of you. like even offering to walk you down to your car just to see if there are car seats in it so that they don't have to ask the question directly...pretty slimey if you ask me!

my best friend is a high school teacher and on her first interview they asked her if she had a facebook (this was 7 years ago). she said "yes" they said "we tried to access it but your account is private, can you please pull it up for us and show us your page?" she said yes and thank god everything on there was ok, and she ended up getting the job, I didn't even know it was legal for them to do that. I deleted my facebook months ago bc i just think it's a waste of time and everyone seems to be faking how wonderful their lives are on there lol, but that's another thing to always be careful of when interviewing.

 

[Mollyandme]

Good Morning,

I slept well, but still tired. I went over my interview in my head several times and came to the conclusion that it was the money that held me back. It was at that time (when money was being brought up) that the CEO got a little cool and he and the pres were going back and forth a bit. I wish I was versed in the art of negotiation. I would of taken less to get in that place.

you might be right. maybe the other person had less experience so they could easily justify paying her less. maybe that's why they can't come out and tell you what the exact reason was? i'm not sure of what the correct response is when they ask you what your salary expectations are, Gcharlie would probably know!

I wouldn't think having grandchildren would be an issue. If anything, unless they wanted someone younger for whatever reason, I would think that would help you. I mean, they don't have to worry about you going out and getting pregnant and having more kids and maternity leave and all that (which would end up costing them money and productivity). You have already raised your kids so the "my kids sick i have to take a sick day" and all that stuff wouldn't be an issue as it is for a lot of women who have young kids. That is what happened to me towards the end of my old job. my daughter had just started daycare and got sick all the time the first 6 months of day care, plus i had just gotten pregnant again and had to use a few hours of sick time every few weeks for drs appts, etc. There were also 4 other pregnant woman in the office at the same time and they gave us all hell, it was horrible. I probably could have sued them but I am not the type to do that so I just never came back after maternity leave. I wrote a very long detailed complaint to personnel (i am a very good writer) with the appropriate terminology to let them know they better fix the situation or there would be issues. The issue was fixed the next day and I am proud to say will never be an issue for anyone else who gets pregnant while working there because I took the time to inform the personnel department of the laws they were breaking. Thank god my supervisor was a sweetheart who told me to still use her for references and everything (she was appalled at how the upper management was treating me and the other girls but she couldn't do anything about it).

 

[Mollyandme]

I believe JA has convinced her parents this all happened because it was their fault due to the punishment she received as a child. She has convinced them they were abusive and should have found a more constructive way to raise her. jmo

i agree. she is very manipulative and her family are the perfect prey for her

 

[Ricki]

I receved an email from my sis. She is 5 years younger and she fills in at the schools around here as a sub or in the office or library. She has a college education and has been trying to get in the school system full time for a few years. She said there was a sub position opened that would go the entire year. They gave it to a young girl, who is said to be a friend of someone in the board of ed. No one has ever seen this girl before, so it is not like she has been filing in. My sis is also disappointed and mad as heck.
Really, I don't know what the older worker is suppose to do. These places certainly make us feel useless, when in fact we are not. We are willing and able to work for many more years, but are not given the chance.

 

[Mollyandme]

I relieved an email from my sis. She is 5 years younger and she fills in at the schools around here as a sub or in the office or library. She has a college education and has been trying to get in the school system full time for a few years. She said there was a sub position opened that would go the entire year. They gave it to a young girl, who is said to be a friend of someone in the board of ed. No one has ever seen this girl before, so it is not like she has been filing in. My sis is also disappointed and mad as heck.
Really, I don't know what the older worker is suppose to do. These places certainly make us feel useless, when in fact we are not. We are willing and able to work for many more years, but are not given the chance.

i agree, i can imagine that must be really frustrating. if i was an employer i would think i would want an older person. a lot of times it means less drama, less time they would need to take off for reasons i listed in a previous post, etc... also a great work ethic. i feel like my generation doesn't have the same work ethic as my parents generation (not everyone but just in general i feel that way)