SIDEBAR #50 - Arias/Alexander forum

[coffeejunkie]

Oh sweet CJ :hug:
It doesn't seem to matter how old our children are, we as mothers still want to make everything alright. It's just in our nature, I suppose. It's heartbreaking that we can't just "love them" into recovery. I will keep you and your son in my prayers, and ask that you do the same for my daughter and I.

I accidently :wink: stumbled upon one of my daughter's little "take home bottle's" of Methadone from the clinic in a box... in her room... in her drawer, underneath a bunch of other things. (In Plain sight) :giggle: She is taking 80 milligrams ! No wonder she talks so much and frikken slow. That's equal to 8 10mg's of pain pills! :scared:

Dear KY Neighbor ((((hugs)))) you know I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers. It is true, if we could 'love them' into recovery...then none of us would have these problems!

 

[coffeejunkie]

We now have 2 babies!!

Momma sits on the nest the first 5 days or so, keeping her babies warm and safe. She just leaves the nest to gather up food for them and comes back and sits again. I watched her feed them this morning! They are so helpless, so tiny, transparent, ugly little birds...

One more egg to hatch. I bet by later this evening the last egg will hatch!!

 

[Bernina]

If you only knew the dysfunction in my family, you might not. We were raised off and on by our great grandmother until we moved to Texas when I was seven. Everything in the world changed, and not for better. After several moves and more uncertainty, I asked my eight year old brother if he wanted to go back to Oklahoma to grandma Cora's with me. Zuri and Bernina, I have a confession to make. I am a horse rustler. My plan was to walk to the riding stables about a mile away and get horses and go back to Oklahoma.

I woke my brother up around two in the morning, and we took off down the road to the stables. I hadn't planned on the horses being behind a padlocked gate, so we walked back to the house (you couldn't really call it a home), and I made new plans for the next night. There was a neighbor that had two horses down the street and we'd go there. So we did, and we got caught, and taken back home. I was nine years old.

We really didn't get in trouble. We really didn't get much of anything. We took care of each other and still do. One of us can ask each other for help or money and it's there, no questions asked.

I told Anna a few years ago that I never heard my mother or father say they loved me. Wow, that takes a load off my shoulders.

Sounds like you've got some interesting adventures to tell us about!:happydance: Never ran into any horse rustlers around here because Arizona had "hauling cards" for decades, but they pulled the plug on those about 15 years ago. Seriously, if you ever want to share, I'd be more than fascinated!

I have the same relationship with my lil' bro. Had the same issue with my mom & dad too, but dad finally said it, and I believe he meant it, 9 days before he died. Really messes with your head, no matter how you slice it.

 

[Zuri]

If you only knew the dysfunction in my family, you might not. We were raised off and on by our great grandmother until we moved to Texas when I was seven. Everything in the world changed, and not for better. After several moves and more uncertainty, I asked my eight year old brother if he wanted to go back to Oklahoma to grandma Cora's with me. Zuri and Bernina, I have a confession to make. I am a horse rustler. My plan was to walk to the riding stables about a mile away and get horses and go back to Oklahoma.

I woke my brother up around two in the morning, and we took off down the road to the stables. I hadn't planned on the horses being behind a padlocked gate, so we walked back to the house (you couldn't really call it a home), and I made new plans for the next night. There was a neighbor that had two horses down the street and we'd go there. So we did, and we got caught, and taken back home. I was nine years old.

We really didn't get in trouble. We really didn't get much of anything. We took care of each other and still do. One of us can ask each other for help or money and it's there, no questions asked.

I told Anna a few years ago that I never heard my mother or father say they loved me. Wow, that takes a load off my shoulders.

I am sending virtual hugs to your nine year old self. Your tale brought tears to my eyes. I hope you are proud of your nine year old self for overcoming such a tumultuous beginning to life. This is just testimony to what an incredible human being you are.

 

[Zuri]

I have a question: How do you break up with a friend?

The reason I am asking is because a poster near and dear to all of us, has been friends with a person for over 15 years. When said poster found true love in an unconventional manner and subsequently got married recently, this "friend" has not wished said person well, has not joined in any of the Celebratory activities, has not "liked" one FB post or picture. Nothing.

The "friend" has not extended herself in any way to be nice, avoids discussion about the romance topic like the plague, and is talking behind our dear poster's back in the ugliest manner possible. This "friend" has never met the poster's now husband, but criticizes any way to anyone who will listen.

So what do you do? It is very painful for our friend. Since we all have her back, what would you wise folks do? Or say, if anything?

 

[Bernina]

I have been staying off the SB board last few days as I deal with losing my son again. When he isn't drinking, he is my best friend I had him for 2 years and I miss that son! I know what you all say is spot on and I know I should not answer his calls...I will be fine. I just need a bit of time, I need this time for mourning the loss of my son again. I have you, my dear SB friends, I have my family, and I have God. :loveyou: :grouphug:

ANNOUNCMENT

I am a Birdma!! We have 1 newly hatched baby robin. Momma is staying close and feeding that little ugly thing Can't wait see the other two. Will take pics once Momma leaves the nest for more than a few minutes.

Coffeejunkie, we can only do so much for are kids, and then it's on them. We do the best that we can and then we have to let them go. It really sucks. All you can do is go forward. It just hurts like hell.:grouphug:

Totally cool about the baby peep!!!!:happydance:

 

[Zuri]

Bernina I gathered another interesting fact regarding foals born bay, that turn gray. If the foal is born with black legs, coming out of the mare, it will turn gray. If the legs are lighter when born, the foal will be bay. Foals that have black points when born, are not necessarily bay. I thought that was interesting.

ETA: I don't know if you saw my post regarding "ticking".

 

[coffeejunkie]

For our SB Horse Loving Friends

Fewer than one percent of births of twin horses are successful. But after three weeks of constant care and comfort, these twin foals are heading home! What a miraculous story.

http://www.pawmygosh.com/horse-rare-birth/

 

[Spellbound]

I have a question: How do you break up with a friend?

The reason I am asking is because a poster near and dear to all of us, has been friends with a person for over 15 years. When said poster found true love in an unconventional manner and subsequently got married recently, this "friend" has not wished said person well, has not joined in any of the Celebratory activities, has not "liked" one FB post or picture. Nothing.

The "friend" has not extended herself in any way to be nice, avoids discussion about the romance topic like the plague, and is talking behind our dear poster's back in the ugliest manner possible. This "friend" has never met the poster's now husband, but criticizes any way to anyone who will listen.

So what do you do? It is very painful for our friend. Since we all have her back, what would you wise folks do? Or say, if anything?

I probably would do nothing. Is "recently married" bothered by this? Knowing her heart, probably --- but she also knows how to move on. Seems our truest friends support us, whether they agree with our choices or not, or at least wish us well. Said "poster" does not sound like much of a friend, perhaps just hung on to the skirt tails for the excitement of the "ride"? I probably would never confide anything to "said poster", just because I know how she treated this dear friend. Sad when a marriage can come between dear friends in this way, but it happens. Perhaps "poster" feels pushed down the friendship ladder by "newly married" .

Reminds me of the poem, "A reason, A season, or a lifetime.".

 

[coffeejunkie]

I probably would do nothing. Is "recently married" bothered by this? Knowing her heart, probably --- but she also knows how to move on. Seems our truest friends support us, whether they agree with our choices or not, or at least wish us well. Said "poster" does not sound like much of a friend, perhaps just hung on to the skirt tails for the excitement of the "ride"? I probably would never confide anything to "said poster", just because I know how she treated this dear friend. Sad when a marriage can come between dear friends in this way, but it happens. Perhaps "poster" feels pushed down the friendship ladder by "newly married" .

Reminds me of the poem, "A reason, A season, or a lifetime.".

That was what I was thinking too. But, you said it so much better than I ever could. Thanks

 

[Dmacky]

We now have 2 babies!!

Momma sits on the nest the first 5 days or so, keeping her babies warm and safe. She just leaves the nest to gather up food for them and comes back and sits again. I watched her feed them this morning! They are so helpless, so tiny, transparent, ugly little birds...

One more egg to hatch. I bet by later this evening the last egg will hatch!!

I would love to have your view cj. One year a mama robin made a nest on the downspout of my gutters. I loved watching those little baby birds with their wide mouths open, even if mama was not feeding them :smile: I thought they were precious BUT they were up high enough that I couldn't get an actual look at them like you are able to! The downspout they were nesting in was on the side of my house where the my concrete driveway was. I woke up one morning and 2 of them were already gone. For the next 3 days I watched the last one that was up in the nest. I wanted so badly to see the baby fly out. Then I started worrying about the concrete below. I was so afraid it would tumble to it's death! So I went in and got an old bed pillow out of the closet and laid it under the nest on the driveway...on top of a lot of bird poop. That's the part I hate about a nest being so close. Whole lotta poopy. Anyway, I left the house for 15 minutes and when I got back the baby was gone! :gaah:

But, it was entertaining for me to watch them hop around the yard while they are learning to fly.

 

[coffeejunkie]

I promise you Dmacky I will get pictures posted up here as soon as feel it is safe. Momma Robin is really good about we humans being around her and the nest (within 8 ft) but, if we approach nest she flies off. She has learned that we mean no harm and trust us some We can sit out on the deck and she stays in her nest.

 

[Bernina]

I have a question: How do you break up with a friend?

The reason I am asking is because a poster near and dear to all of us, has been friends with a person for over 15 years. When said poster found true love in an unconventional manner and subsequently got married recently, this "friend" has not wished said person well, has not joined in any of the Celebratory activities, has not "liked" one FB post or picture. Nothing.

The "friend" has not extended herself in any way to be nice, avoids discussion about the romance topic like the plague, and is talking behind our dear poster's back in the ugliest manner possible. This "friend" has never met the poster's now husband, but criticizes any way to anyone who will listen.

So what do you do? It is very painful for our friend. Since we all have her back, what would you wise folks do? Or say, if anything?

Life is too short. We can try to correct misunderstandings, and apologize for stepping over bounds, but (not recently married friend) creating drama when it's just silly or because someone doesn't have the same standards is an exercise in futility.
Zuri, you as many other peeps on this thread, deserve to be around positive and constructive people. About all you can do is tell this "friend"(not recently married) that their behavior is affecting you negatively, it's turning into an unhealthy relationship, it's causing hurt and division, and it's time to thin the herd.
If this "not recently married friend" feels so strongly about whatever ugly baloney he/she is throwing around behind this poster's back, they should have the cajones to say it directly to the recently married friend, just put it on the table and be done with it.

I don't have a clue if that helps or just makes things more confusing!:facepalm:

 

[Bernina]

Bernina I gathered another interesting fact regarding foals born bay, that turn gray. If the foal is born with black legs, coming out of the mare, it will turn gray. If the legs are lighter when born, the foal will be bay. Foals that have black points when born, are not necessarily bay. I thought that was interesting.

ETA: I don't know if you saw my post regarding "ticking".

Yep, I caught it! Zuri is just one of 4 of Zubaz's foals that have "turned"/haven't "stuck" to their born color. His other 26 foals "stuck" to their bay or sorrel color they were born with. Out of those 30, he's only sired 2 colts, one went gray, the other stuck as a bay (both out of the same sorrel mare). Then you have Zubaz's full sister that stayed bay. Zubaz's sire and dam were both gray (sire/born bay, damn/born sorrel). I gave up on even trying to figure out the color genes after his 5 foal. Mental gymnastics!!! Zuri is not turning like half siblings have, I don't think she will dapple, then freckle (I think that's the "ticking") like the rest did.Looks like she's going to roan out.
The real surprise is going to be when Star has her foal because Evie doesn't have a clue about Star's background, mustang and all. She is black, but has a small white lower lip marking and 1 white sock. The herd she was pulled out of had a few paints and buskins. She was real early term pregnant when she was caught, BLM didn't know, and had a buckskin filly about 9 months after her first owner's got her.

 

[Dmacky]

I am on a posting roll it seems. I have a question of anyone that may have gone through the following:

A married couple, whom we have been friends with for 25 years, are going through an acrimonious time. They are very wealthy and the husband has just filed a PFA against the wife, siting abuse. The PFA contained some statements that are true, but some statements that are also false.

Long story short, the husband has a manipulative girlfriend on the side that the wife found out about. She confronted her husband and a lot of screaming matches insued. She is a fiery Italian and loves her husband and just wants to keep her marriage together. The husband, well, he is turning 65 and kind of in a crisis.

They go to Court on Friday at 10:30 in front of a Comissioner in Family Court. I have been asked by her to go, and possibly testify. I would have to answer honestly, and I don't think neither of them is going to like what I have to say as they both are behaving badly.

Ok. What do I do? This is totally ridiculous if you ask me. Like First World, Rich People's problems. I love them both and can see both sides.

Quite a dilemma, Zuri. If you are prepared to lose friends, then by all means go ahead and be there. Just be aware, if neither feels you are siding with them, they may turn some of their anger against you. Maybe only temporary, and they will come around. Of course, if you were subpoenaed, you would have no choice.

Zuri, I'm not sure what a PFA is, but I'm assuming it is what we call in Ky. a Emergency protective order. (EPO) ??

Just a few thoughts off the top of my head ~
If I found out my husband of 25+ years had a girlfriend on the side, he might need to get a EPO out on me too. :wink: I'm sure if she somehow attacked him it was from an adrenaline rush of hurt, betrayal, jealousy, abandonment etc.

* Was he wealthy when she married him X years ago? Or worse yet, did she marry him when he had nothing and they went through the lean years together, as he worked his way up?

I'm sure that whatever decision is made Fri. is going to affect several lives, not just theirs. So I'm with Spell on this Zuri.

Especially since you said you care about them both, and BOTH are behaving badly. I just don't think I would want to be in the middle.
She is clearly thinking you will side with her completely. I'm just glad it's you that has to make that decision, because I know how hard it would be for me to say no to a very good friend.
Either way you choose, we are all 100% behind you. And you can mark my words on that sister :smile:

 

[Dmacky]

We now have 2 babies!!

Momma sits on the nest the first 5 days or so, keeping her babies warm and safe. She just leaves the nest to gather up food for them and comes back and sits again. I watched her feed them this morning! They are so helpless, so tiny, transparent, ugly little birds...

One more egg to hatch. I bet by later this evening the last egg will hatch!!

I just found this video of baby robins being fed. So darn cute!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQwyxlFFPPA

 

[Niner]

Morning/Afternoon all! :wave:

first - I just talked with my little bro and he said he has a very lousy primary doctor; he just didn't want to do anything to help him!!??!! :gaah: so he called up UCLA Medical (he lives down in Southern Calif.) and they said come on in!! So he'll be going down there Friday, I believe he said. He's right now trying to get SSD and SSI (he just turned 62) and maybe State help. He said he is bloated and his feet are swollen at times. Has a great appetite. Just hurts when he tries to stand or sit down. He said he'd keep me updated on "what" UCLA has to say! Hoping for a better resolution than that primary care doctor! So keep your fingers crossed and prayers would be good too! :loveyou:

okay - Bernina and Zuri - ??
..Bay or sorrel color... will dapple, then freckle.... roan out... few paints and buskins.... :waitasec: :lol: don't know what you all are talking about!! :silly: but sounds interesting!

coffeejunkie - :waiting: for those pictures of baby Robins...

Zuri - re internet friends... :gaah: LOL! I agree with what Bernina said - "life is too short"!! I believe I can guess "who" this married friend is, but not the other one...

Feeling better now that I've talked with my little bro... :sigh:

and WHERE is YESorNO??? Haven't seen her lately...

later! :seeya:

 

[Dmacky]

Morning/Afternoon all! :wave:

first - I just talked with my little bro and he said he has a very lousy primary doctor; he just didn't want to do anything to help him!!??!! :gaah: so he called up UCLA Medical (he lives down in Southern Calif.) and they said come on in!! So he'll be going down there Friday, I believe he said. He's right now trying to get SSD and SSI (he just turned 62) and maybe State help. He said he is bloated and his feet are swollen at times. Has a great appetite. Just hurts when he tries to stand or sit down. He said he'd keep me updated on "what" UCLA has to say! Hoping for a better resolution than that primary care doctor! So keep your fingers crossed and prayers would be good too! :loveyou:

okay - Bernina and Zuri - ??
..Bay or sorrel color... will dapple, then freckle.... roan out... few paints and buskins.... :waitasec: :lol: don't know what you all are talking about!! :silly: but sounds interesting!

coffeejunkie - :waiting: for those pictures of baby Robins...

Zuri - re internet friends... :gaah: LOL! I agree with what Bernina said - "life is too short"!! I believe I can guess "who" this married friend is, but not the other one...

Feeling better now that I've talked with my little bro... :sigh:

and WHERE is YESorNO??? Haven't seen her lately...

later! :seeya:

Hi Niner :wave:
Our Sidebar mother to the "Queen" is taking a much needed break. I'm hoping she comes back soon, I miss her informative posts :frown: She is quite the little sleuther :sleuth:

I am hoping to hear good news about your brother! I am sending prayers, and I have my fingers crossed as well as my eyes that he finds a good Dr. to take care of him.

 

[ILikeToBendPages]

I have a question: How do you break up with a friend?

The reason I am asking is because a poster near and dear to all of us, has been friends with a person for over 15 years. When said poster found true love in an unconventional manner and subsequently got married recently, this "friend" has not wished said person well, has not joined in any of the Celebratory activities, has not "liked" one FB post or picture. Nothing.

The "friend" has not extended herself in any way to be nice, avoids discussion about the romance topic like the plague, and is talking behind our dear poster's back in the ugliest manner possible. This "friend" has never met the poster's now husband, but criticizes any way to anyone who will listen.

So what do you do? It is very painful for our friend. Since we all have her back, what would you wise folks do? Or say, if anything?

Zuri, could your friend be jealous ,and feel like she'd been dumped after years of friendship? Or could
she see her longtime friend being manipulated and isolated by an abuser?

 

[Spellbound]

Yay for Niner's brother! I am glad he is taking charge of getting what he needs to beat this. Hope all works out well. I am glad you talked to him, Niner.