SIDEBAR #51 - Arias/Alexander forum

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I am not trying to take away from other peoples troubles and heartache on here, but...be one bad night!

I am a strong women and I try my best at being a good person and do what I right. My son Ryan called around 12:30 am this morning and I have been up since. He was crying, begging me help him. That he is sorry he is drunk and that he loves me. We talked for a long bit, or rather I listened to his rambling on in a drunken state. Not the first time this has happened, nor will be the last. Been reflecting that I had my loving son back for 2 years; in a blink of an eye, he is gone! I have cried, stomped the floor, prayed, asked God why. I am broken this morning. I hurt so bad and can't turn my mind off and move on. I am so tired of it all. I am just one person, a Mother who is hurting, who only wants the best for her children. I usually can handle his outburst, but for some reason...this is different (don't know why) and I don't know what I can do, make me stronger.

Please say a little prayer for me (or send good thoughts my way), so I can move pass this and be strong again... handle the next round of a crazy, hurtful, rip your heart out, viscous life of being the Mother of an Alcoholic.

Thank You and God Bless.

:grouphug:
CJ...I'm so sorry. Sometimes life just gets too hard. I've been there and feel for you. I am at this moment praying for you to receive peace and calm. Love many times hurts and those who love with all their hearts are usually the ones hurt the most. Try to take things one day at a time and if that doesn't work go for an hour at a time. (((Hugs)))
 
I am not trying to take away from other peoples troubles and heartache on here, but...be one bad night!

I am a strong women and I try my best at being a good person and do what I right. My son Ryan called around 12:30 am this morning and I have been up since. He was crying, begging me help him. That he is sorry he is drunk and that he loves me. We talked for a long bit, or rather I listened to his rambling on in a drunken state. Not the first time this has happened, nor will be the last. Been reflecting that I had my loving son back for 2 years; in a blink of an eye, he is gone! I have cried, stomped the floor, prayed, asked God why. I am broken this morning. I hurt so bad and can't turn my mind off and move on. I am so tired of it all. I am just one person, a Mother who is hurting, who only wants the best for her children. I usually can handle his outburst, but for some reason...this is different (don't know why) and I don't know what I can do, make me stronger.

Please say a little prayer for me (or send good thoughts my way), so I can move pass this and be strong again... handle the next round of a crazy, hurtful, rip your heart out, viscous life of being the Mother of an Alcoholic.

Thank You and God Bless.

:grouphug:

I'm so sorry that you are going thru a ruff patch right now and I will pray for you and your son. :therethere:

I hope that you accept that you are powerless over your son, who is an alcoholic. You didn't cause your son's addiction and you can't control or cure it- only he can control it. He is battling a disease- you just can't tell him to stop as that would be like telling a cancer patient or diabetic to "get over it." He had no more control over alcohol than other people have over tumors or insulin.

Your son has the freedom to make his own choices and you cannot help him. He has to follow his own path. He is no longer that little baby you held in your arms or that toddler you helped to navigate his world.

But, of course, watching your son destroy himselves would make any mother crazy and it's it's not an easy road at all, to watch someone you love destroy themselves. I'm so sorry for you. :hug:

Have you tried to help yourself by joining Al-Anon? You will find that you are not alone in your feelings of guilt, shame, or any other feelings you have. Al Anon people will understand precisely what you're going through and will work with you so you can take the focus off of him and live your own life with peace of mind despite what he does. You may need some professional help also, IMO. You are not the one responsible for your son's recovery out of alcohol, if and when he decides to stop drinking.

Unfortunately you can't help him until he wants to help himself. And when he does want to get help, you can help then, and only then, by encouraging & supporting him in recovery.

I hope that may one day you may be free of your sorrow and guilt about your son's alcoholism. In the meantime, :hanging:

Anyway- check out Al Anon- they will work with you on how your son's alcoholism is affecting YOU. That you can do for yourself, IMO.

10882201_788979741151337_712706944882168277_n.jpg

Link: https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot...=330d6e474866859e72763739841f9dc8&oe=5616DDF1
 
Hi neesaki I like Nate also, Lazy Hazy, Days of Summer ! to all I try to thank but button wont work. Letters don't pprint right either.
Pages , I hope the baby is doing better. They take a person to surgery to remove a hickman Port also. My son had one twice. Reason.
that goes into an artery. Keep us iinformed
O/T I hope they find Sweat soon. I am so afraid he will kill an innocent person. :seeya:
 
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Link: http://www.glitters20.com/funny/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Good-Afternoon-1.gif
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One down- one to go:

Escaped N.Y. Murderer Richard Matt Shot Dead

"...Richard Matt was shot and killed at 3:45 p.m. EDT by federal agents near Lake Titus in Franklin County, N.Y., about 300 miles north of New York City and 20 miles south of the Canadian border, said people familiar with the investigation. The agents had spotted a man in a wooded area near here, state police said...."

http://www.wsj.com/articles/one-of-...shot-by-police-in-upstate-new-york-1435351681

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Link: http://a.abcnews.com/images/US/150626_dvo_spec_inmates_16x9t_384.jpg
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Surviving Inmate Still on the Loose After 1 Escapee Killed

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/...ly-shot-ny-woods-run-32067571?singlePage=true
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The Opinion Pages | OP-ED CONTRIBUTOR
The Allure of the Prison Break


"IN my time as a rookie prison officer at Sing Sing, in Ossining, N.Y., I had to pass through 10 locked gates to reach the housing block where I worked. I would think about how I might escape if I were a prisoner there...."

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/27/opinion/the-allure-of-the-prison-break.html
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Hannah Graham murder suspect’s trial set for July 2016

"CHARLOTTESVILLE — The man who allegedly killed University of Virginia sophomore Hannah Graham is scheduled to go to trial in July 2016, after a local judge set the trial date Thursday.
Albemarle County Circuit Court Judge Cheryl V. Higgins also declined to recuse herself from the case against Jesse L. Matthew Jr. Matthew, 33, who faces the possibility of a death sentence on charges related to the disappearance and slaying of Graham, an 18-year-old from Fairfax County who disappeared in September.
Video surveillance from that night shows Matthew and Graham walking together; she was never again seen alive..."

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime...-suspect’s-trial-set-for-july-2016/ar-AAc97zP

WS thread: http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sh...ged-in-2005-Fairfax-County-Rape-Case-2/page16
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Parole pondered for killer of California man buried alive

"SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Gov. Jerry Brown was deciding Friday whether to block parole for the killer of a developmentally disabled California man who was buried alive.
Brown has until midnight to decide whether to release 52-year-old David Weidert, or block the parole already granted by a state panel because he believes Weidert is too dangerous.
Weidert was sentenced to life in prison for killing 20-year-old Fresno-area resident Michael Morganti in 1980 to hide a $500 burglary..."

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime...ler-of-california-man-buried-alive/ar-AAc9ouu
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The Avengers star Patrick Macnee dies aged 93

"Patrick Macnee, the actor best known for playing John Steed in the 1960s television series The Avengers, has died at the age of 93.
His family were at his bedside at his home in Rancho Mirage, California, his son Rupert said in a statement published on Thursday on Macnee’s website..."

http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2015/jun/25/avengers-star-patrick-macnee-dies

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Link: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/94/f1/63/94f163695f2ab4857e8a10188cbc42af.jpg

RIP :candle:
 
"A music legend fights Alzheimer's disease on his unforgettable farewell tour. CNN Films Presents: "Glen Campbell: I'll Be Me," Sunday, June 28 at 9 p.m. ET...."

http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/23/us/iyw-glen-campbell-ill-be-me-alzheimers-help/

Glen Campbell's Daughter Ashley Details Dad's Declining Health

"As CNN prepares to air his moving documentary this weekend, the legend's Alzheimer's and aphasia have worsened — yet "he still likes to make people laugh"...

Glen Campbell: Ill Be Me premieres Sunday, June 28th at 9:00 p.m. ET on CNN, and will be presented with limited commercial interruptions. An encore of the film will follow at 10:48 p.m. ET."

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/n...ashley-details-dads-declining-health-20150626

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[video=youtube;JMh78jF-fMQ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMh78jF-fMQ[/video]
 
Hey all! :wave:

It's going to be a HOT one here!! 100!! :hot: UGH!! Staying inside today!

The Huz finally got some more pictures of Louie and Kimi - attached! :)

Looks like I better get over to the Holmes trial... thanks for the reminder YESorNO

see you all later!

Here's a few pictures of my kittens!

:seeya:

I just love those little kittens- they are adorable. :happydance:
 
I am not trying to take away from other peoples troubles and heartache on here, but...be one bad night!

I am a strong women and I try my best at being a good person and do what I right. My son Ryan called around 12:30 am this morning and I have been up since. He was crying, begging me help him. That he is sorry he is drunk and that he loves me. We talked for a long bit, or rather I listened to his rambling on in a drunken state. Not the first time this has happened, nor will be the last. Been reflecting that I had my loving son back for 2 years; in a blink of an eye, he is gone! I have cried, stomped the floor, prayed, asked God why. I am broken this morning. I hurt so bad and can't turn my mind off and move on. I am so tired of it all. I am just one person, a Mother who is hurting, who only wants the best for her children. I usually can handle his outburst, but for some reason...this is different (don't know why) and I don't know what I can do, make me stronger.

Please say a little prayer for me (or send good thoughts my way), so I can move pass this and be strong again... handle the next round of a crazy, hurtful, rip your heart out, viscous life of being the Mother of an Alcoholic.

Thank You and God Bless.

:grouphug:

As a mother of a heroin addict, lots of hugs going your way.
You can't change anyone, you can only be there to support them when they decide to change.
We will hurt far more than the alcoholics/addicts themselves ever will.
The biggest hurt is walking away.
^That^ is the biggest hurdle you have to get through.
This is your son's choice.
Now it's the time for you to make a choice. No one wants to hear that, no one wants to do that, but it's the only way to stop the insanity.
Time to get off the crazy train, CJ.
We're here, and you know we'll be here to support you!:grouphug:
 
Any late nighters tonight? Well, for any that are, here's a little music. I just love Nat King Cole. Blessings to everyone, hope you all have a great weekend. :loveyou:

[video=youtube;_fWOrBkkEL8]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fWOrBkkEL8[/video]

Thanks for posting that YTube- it's my favorite of Natalie Cole's songs (with her father). :blowkiss:
 
Coffee junkie I have a drug addicted daughter and know your hurt and pain. Everything Bernina said is true. Tough love is extremely hard. Hope you find some peace soon.
 
I am not trying to take away from other peoples troubles and heartache on here, but...be one bad night!

I am a strong women and I try my best at being a good person and do what I right. My son Ryan called around 12:30 am this morning and I have been up since. He was crying, begging me help him. That he is sorry he is drunk and that he loves me. We talked for a long bit, or rather I listened to his rambling on in a drunken state. Not the first time this has happened, nor will be the last. Been reflecting that I had my loving son back for 2 years; in a blink of an eye, he is gone! I have cried, stomped the floor, prayed, asked God why. I am broken this morning. I hurt so bad and can't turn my mind off and move on. I am so tired of it all. I am just one person, a Mother who is hurting, who only wants the best for her children. I usually can handle his outburst, but for some reason...this is different (don't know why) and I don't know what I can do, make me stronger.

Please say a little prayer for me (or send good thoughts my way), so I can move pass this and be strong again... handle the next round of a crazy, hurtful, rip your heart out, viscous life of being the Mother of an Alcoholic.

Thank You and God Bless.

:grouphug:

Oh CJ, collectively we have more love, care and compassion for everyone to last a lifetime. I am so sorry you are going through this. Addiction is a beast that is not easily slayed, and it is a fight for sobriety and survival daily. Prayers to you and yours, especially your son. Hopefully, he will get back in AA and his sponsor can help too. You are loved.
 
My daughter was driving me to the paint store to get some kitchen color paint samples, when we came across a car crash. We were the third car to stop as it happened in front of us. I get out, and go twerking up to the car as fast as I can. I open the car door and check on the female driver, making sure she is ok. I look in the back seat and there are 3 little children :o. I quickly opened the back doors to find a 9 month old, a 2 yo and an UNRESTRAINED 4 yo. The mother said she was up all night with the two little ones and was falling asleep at the wheel.

This mother seemed to be under the influence of something. She totaled her car. Kids seemed ok. Whoever called 911 failed to mention that kids were in the car, one was unrestrained. I am out there in the rain, directing traffic, waiting for the cops. Twenty minutes later I had someone call 911 again, telling them that there were 3 kids involved, one unrestrained. Cops and ambulance were there in 5 minutes.

I told the mother, no matter how tired she was, that car does not move without the children safely buckled in. The 4 yo did not have a car seat... I hope the cops made her go to the ER with the kids. I left as they were on scene and the ambulance arrived. I had the mother call her father, who was yelling at her on the phone, making her upset, while I was standing there. OMG. I truly don't understand people sometimes and the decisions they make. She was on a winding, hilly road, with lots of traffic. And falling asleep.
 
My daughter was driving me to the paint store to get some kitchen color paint samples, when we came across a car crash. We were the third car to stop as it happened in front of us. I get out, and go twerking up to the car as fast as I can. I open the car door and check on the female driver, making sure she is ok. I look in the back seat and there are 3 little children :o. I quickly opened the back doors to find a 9 month old, a 2 yo and an UNRESTRAINED 4 yo. The mother said she was up all night with the two little ones and was falling asleep at the wheel.

This mother seemed to be under the influence of something. She totaled her car. Kids seemed ok. Whoever called 911 failed to mention that kids were in the car, one was unrestrained. I am out there in the rain, directing traffic, waiting for the cops. Twenty minutes later I had someone call 911 again, telling them that there were 3 kids involved, one unrestrained. Cops and ambulance were there in 5 minutes.

I told the mother, no matter how tired she was, that car does not move without the children safely buckled in. The 4 yo did not have a car seat... I hope the cops made her go to the ER with the kids. I left as they were on scene and the ambulance arrived. I had the mother call her father, who was yelling at her on the phone, making her upset, while I was standing there. OMG. I truly don't understand people sometimes and the decisions they make. She was on a winding, hilly road, with lots of traffic. And falling asleep.

:gaah:
You need to have a license to get a dog, but any dingbat can have a child.
Zuri, you nut! I hope your daughter was out in the rain with you. Geesh!
Now put that super hero cape away for a while, and the nurse's uniform too! It's a weekend, and I think you've gone above and beyond (unless you're catching up on your monthly total, lol!).
super-hero2-smiley.gif
 
I posted about Eric Clapton this week and reading back over his life. One thing stuck with me and was how much of his music I missed in only hearing,but not listening to it.

He wrote this song, which is a testimony of faith. It's the first song he wrote all the lyrics for.

BLIND FAITH
"Presence Of The Lord"
(Eric Clapton)

I have finally found a way to live
Just like I never could before.
I know that I don't have much to give,
But I can open any door.

Everybody knows the secret,
Everybody knows the score.
I have finally found a way to live
In the color of the Lord.

I have finally found a place to live
Just like I never could before.
And I know I don't have much to give,
But soon I'll open any door.

Everybody knows the secret,
Everybody knows the score.
I have finally found a place to live
In the presence of the Lord.
In the presence of the Lord.

I have finally found a way to live
Just like I never could before.
And I know I don't have much to give,
But I can open any door.

Everybody knows the secret,
I said everybody knows the score.
I have finally found a way to live
In the color of the Lord.
In the color of the Lord.


In his autobiography, Clapton elaborates on the beginnings of his prayer life — that 1987 rock-bottom moment at the rehab treatment center.

"I was in complete despair," Clapton wrote. "In the privacy of my room, I begged for help. I had no notion who I thought I was talking to, I just knew that I had come to the end of my tether … and, getting down on my knees, I surrendered. Within a few days I realized that … I had found a place to turn to, a place I'd always known was there but never really wanted, or needed, to believe in. From that day until this, I have never failed to pray in the morning, on my knees, asking for help, and at night, to express gratitude for my life and, most of all, for my sobriety. I choose to kneel because I feel I need to humble myself when I pray, and with my ego, this is the most I can do. If you are asking why I do all this, I will tell you … because it works, as simple as that."

He married a young woman that that worked in a small shop and didn't know who he was. They have three daughters two years apart. I wish him well.

Coffejunkie? have you taken your hands off of him, and handed him over to the Lord? here Lord save my son, no matter what it takes? and accept the way God chooses to?

My favorite book is Hind's Feet on High Places. I have been in, and have reached many of the places as Much-Afraid had. It's hard letting go and trusting something you can not see, but you know It's there. In His wisdom and love for her, He gave her two companions, Sorrow and Suffering to help her on journey up to the high Places, where she becomes Grace and Glory, and Sorrow and Suffering become Joy and Peace. I have been in many places in her journey, the Furnace of Egypt, the Forests of Danger and Tribulation, the Sea of Loneliness, and I'm sure you have too. I'll keep your son in all of my prayers.
 
Afternoon all! :wave:

Whew... finished up the McStay Timeline and posted!! :happydance:

Good thoughts coming your way coffeejunkie!! :hug:

I love it Bernina - Super Hero Zuri!!

off to read some of my other cases now that the weekend is here! :pcguru:

later! :seeya:
 
Catching up after a few days away. Coffeejunkie, I am going through a similar situation. I refuse to stay on the phone with my son when he has been drinking, and he is aware I will hang up if I have to. I keep those calls very short. I totally get your pain, sweet lady. You won't ever get over it, but it helps to separate yourself from certain situations and set limits. I wish you well and hope you can "let go and let God".
 
Catching up after a few days away. Coffeejunkie, I am going through a similar situation. I refuse to stay on the phone with my son when he has been drinking, and he is aware I will hang up if I have to. I keep those calls very short. I totally get your pain, sweet lady. You won't ever get over it, but it helps to separate yourself from certain situations and set limits. I wish you well and hope you can "let go and let God".


Glad to see you back my friend. How are you doing? We had a cold front move through yesterday evening. It started with a humongous thunderclap from out of nowhere. Then it rained all night. It was a nice gentle rain. One you'd enjoy.



[video=youtube;ApQ8eyvUVKk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ApQ8eyvUVKk[/video]
 
I am not a super hero lol. Too funny! Super hero's hair doesn't frizz in the rain!

Turns out, my DH MD was on his way home tonight, when the kid in front of him spun out and flipped his car several times. This was on a busy 4 lane highway with lots of stoplights and businesses. It has been raining all day with gusty winds, so not the best time to speed.

My DH was directly behind him and saw him go sideways before he flipped and he was in the process of braking. He pulled over and ran to the car, pulled the kid out because the car was smoking. He checked the kid out and put him in his car while they waited for the cops and ambulance. The engine had separated from the car as it flipped. The kid was fine! Seatbelt saved him. The car was a Dodge Avenger? and the roll cage was completely intact. That kid was lucky!

So driving in my daughter's putt putt 2008 4 cyl Jeep Compass today, which is totally beat from having had 3 kids drive it and bang into things, drop soda, just trashed, but paid for; that her car spins out in back when she accelerates from a stop. I am a little concerned that this car might not be the safest car on the road, even with good tires. She wants a Bernina Truck: Diesel, Cummins, Long Bed, 250. We live in the suburbs and she wants to "roll coal". Bernina, can she come work for you?
 
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