BBM
I don't think he really wants to die, IMO- he just wants to stop hurting and the pain has become unbearable; life is hopeless at this time for him, and he thinks this period of pain in his life will never end or never change. I'm not saying you shouldn't be concerned- take it seriously as a warning and talk to him about it some more. Talk about all the alternatives to his dying- the medical help he will receive; tell him that he may not believe it now, but the way he's feeling will change when the pain is in control. Let him talk about his pain and feelings so he feels less alone- even if you have heard all of it before. Reassure him that help is available and that the suicidal feelings are temporary and let him know that his life is important to you- try to restore hope in him in any way you can. Ask him "If we got your pain under control, would you still feel this way?" .
Maybe you can ask him to teach you how to cook as a distraction, so you don't have to have take-out all the time. It might be a funny adventure for him and for you too.
I do think if he has a "plan" again (like the exhaust), you should definitely get professional help for him, as I think this goes beyond just the idea of killing himself.
Pain is a terrible thing and just drags a person to the lower depths of life. In addition to the pain meds the MD has given him, maybe he needs anti- depressant meds also for his depression until he 's feeling better? If he is taking depression meds already, maybe they need to be adjusted/changed?
He needs effective pain management first and foremost. There are healthcare professionals that just specialize in pain. The stress of his pain is triggering his depression, IMO, and the hopelessness that results from it can be treated with the right meds.
Oh, Niner, I feel for you. Please take care. It would be tragic if he made a permanent decision about a temporary problem that could be treated, IMO.
Tell your husband that I said: the dead look terribly dead when they're dead (and that's "from scratch

).
BTW: why is he not able to hold down his food? too much pain???
:therethere:
:blowkiss: