SIDEBAR #55 - Travis Alexander forum

[GigiG]

Hi Niner , your story is not shameful! You did the right thing. You did what was best for both. Never feel shamed. ((((hugs)))) :blowkiss:

I can remember my mother crying (as a stoic, New Englander, that didn't happen very often), when she told me about a friend who had given up a baby for adoption. She was appalled that other people were censorious towards her friend. She felt that under most circumstances back then, it was an act of courage and selflessness, and was perhaps the greatest act of of love a mother could do for the welfare of her child...

 

[ILikeToBendPages]

Lily is seven months old today. You ought to see her blow kisses and dance. And talk! If you try to get her to be a little quieter she gets louder. Little mama has entered nursing school to become a pediatric icu nurse.

 

[Spellbound]

Lily is just so adorable, and photogenic! And congrats to Little Mama. Wishing her a lot of success.

 

[Spellbound]

I can remember my mother crying (as a stoic, New Englander, that didn't happen very often), when she told me about a friend who had given up a baby for adoption. She was appalled that other people were censorious towards her friend. She felt that under most circumstances back then, it was an act of courage and selflessness, and was perhaps the greatest act of of love a mother could do for the welfare of her child...

It happened to a cousin when I was very little. I remember how the times were and the girls were made to feel it was the best thing they could do so the child would have two parents and the financial support needed. The girls were not expected to have jobs, but to marry and raise family. Seems the unmarried pregnant ones were kept "hidden" or shipped off to relatives to give birth, so they would not bring shame to the family. Am I recalling that right? What a horrible stress it must still be for so many of those young girls from that era who have had to endure this loss. I am sure there are times adoption is the best decision to make, but other times ...... maybe not necessary.

 

[daisymae]

I'd like to say I was adopted as an infant at 3 days old. And being adopted, I feel strongly the birth parent or parents should not contact their grown children, but that is my opinion. I think I would have been extremely unhappy had she searched for me. It was on my terms and interests that I contacted her, which I did. Yes, it was wonderful to have all my questions answered and to finally see a blood connection. For my entire life I wondered about her, what she looked like, and every other possible thing you can imagine, and knew I had to meet and see her to satisfy myself and I'm glad to have searched and found. But after 2 meetings I had no desire to have contact with her, and clearly would not have wanted her to find me under any circumstances. The emotions run extremely high for both parties but not the same emotions at all. There is I guess an invisible line a birth parent cannot cross to satisfy their needs. This is just all my opinion! I'm not wishing to start a debate on this subject, but please know reunions can be wonderful and some can be very painful. Like I said the child and the parent don't share the same emotions. Niner - she will contact you if and when she wishes. I do think female adoptees are more interested in a reunion. I would prefer not to answer questions here in publc so take them privately if you wish... and the reason for that is because some of you may have adopted children and might be extremely uncomfortable should a bio mom or dad try to contact the adoptees family. Keeping in mind there are several parties in this situation and emotions would run very high. The end!

 

[daisymae]

I love her, page bender!

 

[YESorNO]

Link: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HAzYnLmtqtQ/VX50ddOJyCI/AAAAAAAAAUg/15ptVa5xBzo/s640/Happy+monday.jpg
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Murderer's appeal Update:

Looks like her lawyers are not accepting the response from the COA :denied: to "disqualify :blah::blah::blah: and another motion is afoot to "reconsider" :boohoo:

117. 6-Oct-2015 FILED: Reporters Transcript (03/19/13 [Robin Bobbie])
118. 7-Oct-2015 FILED: Response to Motion to Disqualify the Court of Appeals; Certificate of Service (Appellee)

119. 8-Oct-2015 ORDERED: Motion for Extension of Time to File Transcripts (Terry Masciola) = GRANTED. Due date EXTENDED from Thursday,
10-01-2015 to Friday, 10-23-2015 for transcript of proceeding held on 02/18/2009 or OSC on 11/04/2015. Hon Samuel A
Thumma - Author
120. 13-Oct-2015 FILED: Reporters Transcript (07/11/14 [Patricia Kotarba])
121. 13-Oct-2015 FILED: Reporters Transcript (04/10/13 [Barbara H Stockford])
122. 14-Oct-2015 FILED: Reporter's Transcript -- Oral Argument -- 11/07/2012 (Denise Vaishville)

123. 14-Oct-2015 ORDERED: Motion to Disqualify the Court of Appeals (Appellant) 07/Oct/2015 FILED: Response to Motion to Disqualify the Court
of Appeals (Appellee) = DENIED. Hon Maurice Portley - Author

124. 15-Oct-2015 FILED: Motion to Reconsider Re: Motion to Disqualify; Certificate of Compliance with Rule 31.18(d), ARCP; Certificate of Service
(Appellant) :boohoo:

http://apps.supremecourt.az.gov/aacc/1ca/1capartyindex.htm
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[YESorNO]

'He should be treated as a human': death row conditions in Virginia improve

"State’s policies quietly overhauled recently after months of legal challenges as the seven men awaiting execution are granted more privileges...

Now, the seven men awaiting execution get an extra half-hour of recreation each day, and officials are building a new yard with a basketball court and exercise equipment. They can hang out with up to three other death row inmates for an hour daily, and the state is building a room where they can watch TV, make phone calls, play games and send emails. They can hug and hold hands with relatives when they visit..."

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/oct/16/virginia-death-row-inmates-win-more-privileges
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Foul play not suspected in death of hiker in Maine

"AUGUSTA, Maine — Bringing a somber close to a baffling case, Maine authorities said Friday that the remains had been found of Geraldine Largay, the hiker who vanished from the Appalachian Trail in western Maine in July 2013...

Maine Warden Service Lieutenant Kevin Adam said at a news conference that he did not suspect foul play. However, he said, he could not say for certain until the medical examiner’s office released its report..."

http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/20...found-maine/bX4Fna5A2AGkUeQjCUKbIJ/story.html

WS thread: http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sh...---------------------------------------------

 

[YESorNO]

The States Where Women Are Most Likely To Be Murdered By Men

"A new report offers a terrifying glimpse into domestic homicide in America

More than 1,600 women in the U.S. were murdered by men in 2013, according to a new report released Tuesday by the Violence Policy Center. Black women were killed at a rate two and a half times that of white women.

The annual report, titled "When Men Murder Women," analyzes incidents in which one man kills one woman -- generally a sign of domestic homicide. It's a detailed and sobering look at lethal violence against women in the U.S. ..

See the top 10 worst states in 2013 below, as well as a map of the U.S. showing where women are most likely to be killed by men over the past decade..."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry...315e4b0c2077efc3713?ncid=newsltushpmg00000003
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America's Most Admired Lawbreaker

"Over the course of 20 years, Johnson & Johnson created a powerful drug, promoted it illegally to children and the elderly, covered up the side effects and made billions of dollars. This is the inside story..."

http://highline.huffingtonpost.com/...ewsltushpmg00000003&ncid=newsltushpmg00000003
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Arizona inmate sentenced to life for raping prison teacher

"...Jacob Harvey, already serving a 30-year-sentence for rape, received a life sentence from a Pinal County Superior Court Judge Kevin White for the January 2014 attack at the Eyman prison complex in Florence, about 60 miles southeast of Phoenix.

Harvey pleaded guilty in August to rape, aggravated assault with a weapon and kidnapping in what the head of Arizona’s prison system called a “despicable and cowardly act.”

Harvey also was sentenced to 23 years for kidnapping and 16 1/4 years for aggravated assault, said county attorney spokeswoman Tiffany Davila...."

http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/09/15/us-usa-prison-rape-idUSKCN0RF01K20150915

Link: http://mattodynski.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/TMBSITW-THUMB.jpg
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The Child Who Could Become a Monster

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/miche...ecom_b_7686688.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592
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[YESorNO]

'They're my babies': The extraordinary moment broody gorilla Koko uses SIGN LANGUAGE to tell trainers she has adopted two tiny cats - because she doesn't have babies of her own

"Koko, who lives in Woodside hill in California, adores babies - despite not having mothered any of her own

In celebration of turning 44 years old, the ape's trainer, Francine Patterson, introduced her to litter of kittens

Gorilla, who is famous for 'sign language', was filmed stroking them gently before picking one up for cuddle
She then gestured for one cat to be placed on her head, before later signing that the animals are her babies
Koko, who was born at San Francisco Zoo, has now adopted two of the kittens; it has 'energized her world'..."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ens-cuddles-fondly-heart-warming-footage.html

[video=youtube;gR6MeFFzqQ8]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gR6MeFFzqQ8[/video]

 

[YESorNO]

A Conversation With Koko The Gorilla - PBS Nature (1999)

[video=youtube;teB-Icrog6E]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teB-Icrog6E[/video]

 

[YESorNO]

Government: No benefit hike for Social Security next year

"WASHINGTON (AP) — Older Americans got a double dose of bad news Thursday: There will be no cost-of-living increase in Social Security benefits next year, and Medicare bills are set to soar for many..."

http://news.yahoo.com/millions-social-security-recipients-learn-cola-fate-073323042--politics.html

Lower gas prices means no Social Security increase next year

http://www.stripes.com/news/us/lower-gas-prices-means-no-social-security-increase-next-year-1.372784
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Why Elephants Don't Get Cancer

http://www.nbcnews.com/health/cancer/why-elephants-dont-get-cancer-n441141

4 cancer breakthroughs that could save your life

"...Here’s the scoop on the latest treatments...."

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2015/10/16/4-cancer-breakthroughs-that-could-save-your-life/
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Britain’s National Health Service Approves 'Groundbreaking' Clinical Trial To Test Cancer-Sniffing Dogs

“We should not be turning our backs on these highly sensitive bio-detectors just because they have furry coats.”...

Earlier studies have suggested that dogs’ incredible sense of smell can detect subtle odors known to be associated with many cancers, such as melanoma and cancers of the breast, bladder and lung. In the case of prostate cancer, Guest says initial tests have shown trained dogs to have a detection accuracy rate of more than 93 percent..."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry...54de4b093be51bbc4bc?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592
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[YESorNO]

A Letter to My Daughter With Down Syndrome on Her Wedding Day

http://themighty.com/2015/08/to-my-daughter-with1-down-syndrome-on-her-wedding-day/

:cake:
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[YESorNO]

Raiders of the Lost Web
If a Pulitzer-finalist 34-part series of investigative journalism can vanish from the web, anything can.

"The web, as it appears at any one moment, is a phantasmagoria. It’s not a place in any reliable sense of the word. It is not a repository. It is not a library. It is a constantly changing patchwork of perpetual nowness.

You can't count on the web, okay? It’s unstable. You have to know this..."

http://www.theatlantic.com/technolo...e-lost-web/409210/?&ncid=newsltushpmg00000003
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Yes or No, thanks for all the really great articles you post!

This article is quite interesting in itself, but the story that was lost (and eventually rebuilt) on the web is fascinating. It's quite lengthy, but pulls you in right from the start.

Here's the link: http://thecrossingstory.com/chapters/intro.html

Thanks for the article. I bookmarked it for reading later on today. :tyou:

 

[YESorNO]

Joan Leslie, a Hollywood Girl Next Door, Dies at 90

"Joan Leslie, an actress remembered for fresh-faced ingénue roles in movies of the 1940s, including “High Sierra,” “Sergeant York” and “Yankee Doodle Dandy,” died on Monday in Los Angeles. She was 90...."

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/16/movies/joan-leslie-a-hollywood-girl-next-door-dies-at-90.html?_r=0

Link: http://www.filmfansite.org.uk/actress/l_actress/l_actress_pictures/leslie_joan_1.jpg

[video=youtube;UaKcxx_uQEc]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaKcxx_uQEc[/video]

RIP :candle:

 

[Niner]

Morning all! :wave:

Government: No benefit hike for Social Security next year

"WASHINGTON (AP) — Older Americans got a double dose of bad news Thursday: There will be no cost-of-living increase in Social Security benefits next year, and Medicare bills are set to soar for many..."

http://news.yahoo.com/millions-socia...-politics.html

Lower gas prices means no Social Security increase next year

http://www.stripes.com/news/us/lower...-year-1.372784

BOOOOOOO!!!!! Excuse me, but didn't food go up?? And there are no low gas prices here - I watched it go up 6 cents in one day... but federal employees ARE getting a raise - what's with that!! :maddening:

Sorry daisymae to bring up adoption! You see, the reason I went searching was I really didn't know IF she knew she was adopted... and I wanted to know IF she was alive and living well... I know there are adoptees that do not want to know their birth parents; I was encouraged to search by an adoptee. I'm really glad I did search. I have peace of mind!

oh ILikeToBendPages!! Lily is SO cute!! Love that smile!

Well, we sure had weather last night!! I woke at about 3am with lightning and thunder!!! The kittens were running around wondering what the heck was happening! LOL! I calmed them down though! :kitty: :kitty:

Still overcast and it's been predicted with more rain today! Good! Today I had to water my plants, glad mother nature took care of that chore!

Okay - off to get ready to go visit the Huz! :seeya:

and a "sharing" picture!

 

[zoey]

Aw, Niner. I apologize if my question meant you're having to talk about uncomfortable stuff again, especially if you've already put it out there.

I hope that given a bit of time your daughter might reconsider. If only she could know that her birth mother was such a sweet and caring person. I think she would be proud and honored... and want to be in touch with you...

My SIL gave up her son because my brother (@ that time) was uncomfortable about it the possibility of raising another man's child--they got engaged when she was pregnant and shuffled to our city. This was 1978/77? And it was "shameful". I know my parents played the embarrassed adults. It was scandalous among the Baptist church-but my brother stuck by her. (Her own family did not visit or see the baby).

A while back my brother located the adopted son. They have met and I guess he is part of their family (my family is kinda weird--some family member is always wrote off--i)

 

[ILikeToBendPages]

I'd like to say I was adopted as an infant at 3 days old. And being adopted, I feel strongly the birth parent or parents should not contact their grown children, but that is my opinion. I think I would have been extremely unhappy had she searched for me. It was on my terms and interests that I contacted her, which I did. Yes, it was wonderful to have all my questions answered and to finally see a blood connection. For my entire life I wondered about her, what she looked like, and every other possible thing you can imagine, and knew I had to meet and see her to satisfy myself and I'm glad to have searched and found. But after 2 meetings I had no desire to have contact with her, and clearly would not have wanted her to find me under any circumstances. The emotions run extremely high for both parties but not the same emotions at all. There is I guess an invisible line a birth parent cannot cross to satisfy their needs. This is just all my opinion! I'm not wishing to start a debate on this subject, but please know reunions can be wonderful and some can be very painful. Like I said the child and the parent don't share the same emotions. Niner - she will contact you if and when she wishes. I do think female adoptees are more interested in a reunion. I would prefer not to answer questions here in publc so take them privately if you wish... and the reason for that is because some of you may have adopted children and might be extremely uncomfortable should a bio mom or dad try to contact the adoptees family. Keeping in mind there are several parties in this situation and emotions would run very high. The end!

Lot of talk about mothers. My oldest sister had a friend that got pregnant at fifteen. Her father was a pastor of a pentecostal church, and she gave the baby up for adoption. She lived at home, kicked out of school, shunned until the baby was born, and even after. I remember seeing her at the bowling alley (I grew up in a bowling alley, my dad was the manager at one time. I spent too many nights - all night - there or another bowling alley, or at someone's house while they would shoot dice and play poker.), and my father jumping on my sister because she talked to her best friend in public. Even after she gave up the baby she didn't go back to school. You didn't do things like that back then, and that was in 1963. You didn't go back to school, you got a job and hoped a man would marry you because you were considered loose, used goods or a .

My other sister's best friend also got pregnant at sixteen in 1966, and she kept her baby, (about everyone in town knew who the father was , a boy she had a crush on and dated a few times - he never acknowledged her or his child, and you didn't go for child support back then - you'd be branded a and it wasn't their child- so you again hoped a good man would come along and marry you and raise your child.


I got on birth control when I turned eighteen. The pill had come out several years before, and I decided if I was going to be sexualy active I wasn't going to get pregnant.

I never really knew my mother. We lived together since I was born, but that was about it. I would go for days and not see her. She worked nights. She worked at Texas Instruments, the up and coming semi-conductor company, and they did a lot of government contracts. She'd worked there for over eight years, up until 1966. Midnight to eight am , five to six days a week, until one night she got to work and the door to her locker had been removed, and the FBI was waiting to talk to her about my father.

 

[Spellbound]

A Conversation With Koko The Gorilla - PBS Nature (1999)

[video=youtube;teB-Icrog6E]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teB-Icrog6E[/video]

I really enjoyed this, Y/N. Gorillas are probably the creature that most fascinates me.

 

[Niner]

Hey! :wave:

Yes, daiseymae there are a LOT of emotions going through you! When I wrote the first letter to my daughter, I could not believe ALL the memories that came back to me! WOW! Some stuff I had just completely forgotten! I actually remember the song that was playing when I left the adoption agency - We'll Sing in the Sunshine by Gale Garnett.
And some one (sorry!) mentioned above about the child having 2 parents; I thought of this too, plus she had a hole in her heart, and considering I had NO medical insurance, it would have been very difficult time, with no job, no schooling... her heart did eventually close on its own when she turned 15!! I'm glad I did find out more about her;

her amom told me about her childhood and her talent in the arts! The "arts" runs in my family! And I could not get over "who" she looked like!! A cross between me and one of my twin sisters!! Oh my Gosh! Anyone looking at her would know she's my daughter!

ILikeToBendPages, you mentioned birth control - nope, none available for "single" women, only married women got to have those!

There is a really good book called The Girls Who Went Away by Anne Fessler. I could have been one of those girls in that book, yes... I went away...

anyway, just

♪♫♪♫♪ I'm just singin’ in the rain… ♫♪♫♪♫

RAINING!!! Did I say we had lightning and thunder last night!!

So, I hear there is going to snow in the North East...

YESorNO!!

and this is our Bernina:

also

Okay - off to read my :book:
Later! :seeya: