SIDEBAR #55 - Travis Alexander forum

[ILikeToBendPages]

1958 - Tears on My Pillow - Little Anthony & The Imperials




[video=youtu;uxjQ3M_v7xc]http://youtu.be/uxjQ3M_v7xc[/video]

 

[GigiG]

Thanks for the article. I bookmarked it for reading later on today. :tyou:

Just getting back into town, so catching up. Did you read it? It was very long, but really an extraordinary tale of tragedy and how so many lives can be inextricably intertwined as a result. Also some irony and other weirdness thrown in to boot. I can understand why it was nominated for a Pulitzer.

ETA: The epilogue only goes back to 2007 (or 08?) which is when the story was originally written. Makes me wonder what's happened since then...

For anyone else who might want to read it, here is the link again: http://thecrossingstory.com/chapters/1.html

 

[GigiG]

Niner, you have me now simply in tears. I am glad you found your daughter and that you learned that she grew up a happy, artistic child to adult. It must be so reassuring to know. My respect for you deepens each day as I cannot imagine all that you have faced, not only daily, but in your lifetime. Your strength of spirit is so inspiring and your light and goodness shine through each and every post.

Ok. Thyroid. Please go get it checked. The last thing I want to read here is that you had a heart attack and needed a pacemaker too. I am encouraged the hematologist is in charge of his care as that is totally appropriate. It sounded like a free for all for a while and I was getting frantic. Stress can trigger your thyroid, so please just call the office and see if they can call the lab test into the lab so you can just go get it done. Check. Off the list. One less thing. Leaving the rest of us to worry about the other 1001 things you have going on.

Yes, I worry about Niner, too. Hard to believe she's always so cheerful with all the BS and hardships she's dealing with!

Niner, you said before that you smoke, but what exactly are you smoking? haha!

 

[GigiG]

Pages, I don't even want to think about what is instilled in my carpet and padding. With messy children, dogs, cats, an exploded furnace, the carpet has got to be ripped up and out. German Shepherds shed in tumbleweeds of hair and it is everywhere, despite my meager attempts to brush them and vacuum as I could do it all day and never get it all up.

I would like to replace the upstairs cRpeting with laminate flooring that looks like hardwood and put area rugs down instead of wall to wall carpeting. I have read people don't like that because they want softness under their feet. What do you think? My children are grown and I only have one still living here. You can't see her floor anyway because of the clothes....

I have hardwood throughout the first floor with oriental rugs which seem easier to keep clean. Those floors need to be refinished, but that is the last thing to be done as we have to leave for several days and the way the house looks now, there is no way it will be any time soon. They were refinished about 5 years ago and the guy did such a bad job, the finish wore off in 3 months and the urethane he used made the special walnut color look orangey before it wore off.

I can't believe your dust ruffle caught on fire! OMG how scary! I haven't used dust ruffles or a bed skirt because my bed sits high and when I tried one, it looked ridiculous. Glad to know your daughter had good luck with her bed buying it online. I spend so much time in bed I figured I couldn't go wrong with another Tempur Pedic that has been improved. My present Tempur Pedic will go in the guest room my son will use as his mattresses/room was probably what set my lungs off in the first place.

This last bought of viral/bacterial pneumonia that took away almost my entire lung breathing capacity was a good wake up call in a sense. I just had no idea I wasn't as well as I thought I had fooled myself into thinking I was in. Now that I know, and my DH knows, we are far more cognizant of our surroundings and "stuff" that has accumulated over 25 years. Purging now will eliminate months of my surviving family members doing it should I die. Hopefully not soon as there is still a huge mess lol.

This time I was scared. Not to die, but watching my DH become overwhelmed, exhausted, and trying to manage it all between work and me. I have never seen him like that before as he is always in control, very methodical and Type B. Sometimes I think we tell ourselves everything will be fine when we go, but I am not so sure at the moment. Have you ever thought about it or am I being too morbid? Xo

Well, I think I can speak on behalf on many here when I say WE WERE SCARED, TOO! Didn't want to bother you as you needed your rest, but please know you were never far from our thoughts.

Purging is a good thing. You'll be surprised at how comforting it is to get rid of stuff you don't need/use. You know that relaxing feeling when you walk into your room in a really nice hotel? Kinda like that.

BUT, as they saying goes, "nature abhors a vacuum." Clearing out stuff is great, but making that serenity last means not letting more stuff come in to fill the void. Vigilance!

So glad you're finally back to your old self, kinda/sorta, and so good to have you back. It's not the same here without you!

 

[GigiG]

A little music for a lazy Fall day: (so we have snow, but it's not sticking and I can only hope :facepalm: )

[video=youtube;7moHazyC9Zg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7moHazyC9Zg[/video]

I always love the music that you post, always seems to fit the mood of the day...

 

[GigiG]

CJ, hope your ride to the wedding was uneventful yet beautiful and your back held out.
Pages, Lillie is adorable and I am so very proud of Little Mama. Peds is not for the faint of heart.

GGG, my BFF is at the High Point Furniture Marketl looking at furniture to replace everything I owned. I went with your color suggestions for the kitchen. You are amazing.

I got more boxes today. Yay! No idea why I ordered a bed skirt but I got one. My bed from QVC gets delivered next week. Who in their right mind buys a bed off TV? Well, it is a Tempur Pedicure and it is an upgrade to the one I have now. I just get a chuckle every day at the boxes as "Life is like a box of chocolates".

You all are the best and please know that although I haven't posted much, I have been reading and send you much love and "Jingles".

That is so exciting! Can't wait to see some "after" pictures!

 

[YESorNO]

a hundred times!! This is my SIXTH time trying to post!!!!! This better post...

Morning all! :wave:



Oh Zuri - didn't mean to make anyone cry!

All came out okay! and Thank you for the compliment! :blush: you are too kind!

Ok - will get my thyroid checked out! Lost another 2 pounds, so I know the weight is going too quickly! First thing Monday morning!! Oh, wait... I have to take the Huz to the hospital Monday morning for his bone marrow extraction - better make a note to myself to the set the alarm clock!

I do have a direct line to a lady down at the clinic, so will call her when I get home from that!

Yes, it was like a "free for all" in the beginning - but I was out there

fighting for my Huz! This is the second time I've had to do something! First, was 4 years ago when he didn't have insurance, and he had a 50/50 chance of surviving! Got him his medical insurance!! But that's story for another day!

ILikeToBendPages - no, never heard of "ButterBox Babies"!!! The home I went to wasn't bad... another story, for another day!

YESorNO - isn't this your Wheelie??? (see picture below!) Found him on Facebook! :laughing:

Also - :snowball:

Okay - off to read my other threads - HOPING this time this posts...

Later! :seeya:

copy and pasted this from my notebook, so I don't lose my whole post!

BBM Wheely is all over the place (the little devil :facepalm: ). He needed that sweater today because it was cold all day
and it's now 24 degrees. he looks handsome/elegant in his sweater, doesn't he. :floorlaugh::floorlaugh:

 

[Spellbound]

Wondering what mischief our Bernina is up to these days. :thinking:

 

[YESorNO]

Just getting back into town, so catching up. Did you read it? It was very long, but really an extraordinary tale of tragedy and how so many lives can be inextricably intertwined as a result. Also some irony and other weirdness thrown in to boot. I can understand why it was nominated for a Pulitzer.

ETA: The epilogue only goes back to 2007 (or 08?) which is when the story was originally written. Makes me wonder what's happened since then...

Haven't read the whole article yet as I've been busy putting the house and garden to bed for the Winter.

I just love reading different things and some articles are amazing- they teach me so much about what life is about and they get me to thinking about a lot of different things that I would normally not think about.

I remember being on a literature forum years ago and someone asked what I was looking for when I read and I said I'm looking for the meaning of life. :thinking:

:seeya:

 

[YESorNO]

Oh just found this link:

https://balzekasmuseum.org/displacedpersons/

Thought I'd share with you all. I'm going to "Tell" my mother's story there!

hmmmm... no one here...

:seeya:

I read some of the part called The Flight

https://balzekasmuseum.org/displacedpersons/the-flight#fleeing

Mostly looked at the pics and this pic struck me as very poignant. These people are leaving their homes, friends, and family with nothing but the clothes
on their back. It makes me ashamed for all the things I have (and sometimes want more of :shame. These people (and your parents) were very brave.

 

[GigiG]

Haven't read the whole article yet as I've been busy putting the house and garden to bed for the Winter.

I just love reading different things and some articles are amazing- they teach me so much about what life is about and they get me to thinking about a lot of different things that I would normally not think about.

I remember being on a literature forum years ago and someone asked what I was looking for when I read and I said I'm looking for the meaning of life. :thinking:

:seeya:

BBM

I love that. Truly. And if you read the whole series, I think you'll find it interesting -- or maybe just confirmatory -- that "life" means different things to different people. If there is one TRUE reality, I think it's beyond the comprehension of us mere mortals. No matter how connected we feel to one another, we're all still existing in our own small realities, which for the most part are very narrowly defined...

 

[YESorNO]

Anyone watched Oprah's new program- I think it's called Belief? Suppose to be 6 parts.
Very good, IMO.

 

[GigiG]

I read some of the part called The Flight

https://balzekasmuseum.org/displacedpersons/the-flight#fleeing

Mostly looked at the pics and this pic struck me as very poignant. These people are leaving their homes, friends, and family with nothing but the clothes
on their back. It makes me ashamed for all the things I have (and sometimes want more of :shame. These people (and your parents) were very brave.

I agree. Very poignant. And looking at the children, I wonder; do they know? do they have any sense of what they're forever leaving behind? Have their parents shielded them from the sorrow, or were they all just more stoic as a people?

But yeah, sometimes I feel sorry for myself when I'm scraping ice off my car. Boo-hoo!

 

[YESorNO]

BBM

I love that. Truly. And if you read the whole series, I think you'll find it interesting -- or maybe just confirmatory -- that "life" means different things to different people. If there is one TRUE reality, I think it's beyond the comprehension of us mere mortals. No matter how connected we feel to one another, we're all still existing in our own small realities, which for the most part are very narrowly defined...

BBM I try not to be so narrow- that's why I read/research so much I guess.

When I was living in NYC and working on Wall St, I felt like an ant, with all the other people walking to and fro, juggling paper around, but when I changed jobs completely, as a nurses aide in a nursing home, I felt more alive and connected to old people. I was one with them and I joined their lives, whatever their life was at that time in their lives, and it gave me such joy and I had "meaning" to my life. Life with caring for people IS the meaning of life, IMO.

Anyway......

 

[YESorNO]

I agree. Very poignant. And looking at the children, I wonder; do they know? do they have any sense of what they're forever leaving behind? Have their parents shielded them from the sorrow, or were they all just more stoic as a people?

But yeah, sometimes I feel sorry for myself when I'm scraping ice off my car. Boo-hoo!

BBM It's coming - I hate Winter :gaah:

:floorlaugh::floorlaugh:

 

[GigiG]

BBM I try not to be so narrow- that's why I read/research so much I guess.

When I was living in NYC and working on Wall St, I felt like an ant, with all the other people walking to and fro, juggling paper around, but when I changed jobs completely, as a nurses aide in a nursing home, I felt more alive and connected to old people. I was one with them and I joined their lives, whatever their life was at that time in their lives, and it gave me such joy and I had "meaning" to my life. Life with caring for people IS the meaning of life, IMO.

Anyway......

BBM

That's pretty much what I was trying to say, albeit perhaps ineloquently. Things are different from one person to the next. There are billionaires out there who feel that their lives have greater meaning because they donate money. That's great, but their "reality" is still different from yours and mine and the people they are endeavoring to help.

My point is that reality means something different to everyone. Good intentions aside, there is no over-arching REAL reality, it's all relative to who you are at any given point in time. That's why some people commit suicide even though others would covet the lives they lead, while other people, much less fortunate, can find reasons to praise every sunrise.

But at the end of the day, yes, caring for one another is at the essence of the meaning of life. I am 100% certain about that.

 

[Bernina]

This really troubles me, since most seniors do not do a lot of traveling. their expenses are more for daily necessities, groceries, and medications, and they make do without so much. Did you know the rate of a SS increase is based on only three months of the year? The three when most people may be taking vacations and using the most gas, of course.

I'm watching pennies with my SSI-DI or whatever they're calling it now days.........so being "unattached" has a price, it'll take months to dig myself out of a financial hole that I allowed the ex to put me in :gaah:but I can do it!
So..I applied for food stamps "online" something my Docs have always told me I'm approved for......yeah, right, a whole $20 a month. Hadn't applied even once over the last 26 years being disabled. With a cord of firewood being $200 this year, I thought it would help. Even the case worker thought it was pretty bad, and re-did the application 3 times. Oh well, $20 can help.

Had a great weekend, will give an update tomorrow, tired but happy!:happydance:

 

[GigiG]

I'm watching pennies with my SSI-DI or whatever they're calling it now days.........so being "unattached" has a price, it'll take months to dig myself out of a financial hole that I allowed the ex to put me in :gaah:but I can do it!
So..I applied for food stamps "online" something my Docs have always told me I'm approved for......yeah, right, a whole $20 a month. Hadn't applied even once over the last 26 years being disabled. With a cord of firewood being $200 this year, I thought it would help. Even the case worker thought it was pretty bad, and re-did the application 3 times. Oh well, $20 can help.

Had a great weekend, will give an update tomorrow, tired but happy!:happydance:

BBM

Yes, you can! But if you need some help, we're here for you.

 

[ILikeToBendPages]

RE: my waterbed catching on fire

It was the start of a five year run of what will happen to ILikeToBendPages when dh goes fishing for a week, but not as bad as the decade of death, or the horrible year of 2005.

Dh didn't have a relationship with his father - his mother discouraged him having one - but for some reason my father like him, and treated him like he did my brother, and took him on some very nice fishing trips twice a year at a friends marina down at Toledo Bend. They had done two overnight trips up to Texhoma, but the Toledo Bend was the furthest and the longest he'd been away since we met and I was a little apprehensive with two small children, even though his mother and grandmother lived across the street ( she didn't spoken to me for five years.), it was still going to be a lonely time for the three of us.

Now these trips started Monday morning, which to my father was 12:01am, and they get back the next Sunday evening, so we're in five days in, Friday the thirteenth of June and I put the kids to bed around nine, and settled down for another night when it would be hours before I could go to sleep. I got tired and went to bed around midnight, and hour later I woke up to flames and smoke and my waterbed on fire, which then jumped to my curtains, so I jumped out of bed screaming, then ran and got a towel and put it out. The house was full of smoke, and the smoke detector that would go off if I baked cookies, never sounded a beep, and it had a new battery, so I get the kids back to bed, and watched TV where I learned how to make pizza crust out of rice until it signs off for the night. Remember when all TV went off for the night? They also showed wanted posters. One was for a man nicknamed Chrome Dome because he was bald, and they played America the Beautiful and showed the flag.

Anyway I call the marine at about five and left a message, but they were already on the lake, and dh called back a few hours later when they came off the lake, and he told me to call our insurance company which I did and they asked what my claim was for and I told them that my waterbed had caught on fire, burning the wood sides, the hardwood floor, and scorched a wall. There was a moment of silence and they said hold on a minute and never came back on the line. We picked out our new waterbed mattress and frame and the news came over the radio that Candy Montgomery had been acquitted of whacking Betty Gore forty one times with an ax. Everyone was stunned. It was strange that she killed Betty on Friday the thirteenth, and my waterbed fire, and getting my waterbed stuff the day she was acquitted.

Anyway, one year down, twelve more to go. The next two years a sewer backing up and fighting with a plumber who insisted we needed new cast iron pipes and dh saying that we already had them, and the one after that a transformer blew during a storm and we didn't have power all day. My father teased dh that maybe he should have all the utilities turned off until they got back. I broke my little toe on a door frame as he was packing to leave. I delivered a baby, Anna woke up crying and in terrible pain and burning up with fever as their truck rounded the corner, she had pneumonia. I fell carrying out a tray of peanut butter and jelly to make an outside lunch as we swam and tripped, falling on the broken jelly jar and having stitches in my right hand and I'm right handed, things like that, It ended in 1992 when my father's cancer came back and his health getting more frail and he didn't want my brother and dh to have to deal with him getting worse or dying back to Dallas.

DH and I did take him on a few fishing trips and I have left several expensive rods and reels in lake Cypress Springs and Lake Fork. Once when he bought me a new Shimano reel (top of the line and expensive one) and I was having trouble casting only a little further than the boat, and he told me not to side arm it when I casted but turn my hand and cast, which I did and my wrist twisted and the rod and reel went flying out of my hands, and he just shook his head. His last fishing trip was with our ten year old son and my brother. My son caught the first, and the biggest and proudly stood next to him showing off his fish.

 

[daisymae]

Thinking of my dear mother on this day, which would have been her 95th birthday. 10-19-20. I can only hope she and my dad are together eternally.