SIDEBAR #57 - Travis Alexander forum

[Hatfield]

Would knowing that the deceased was wealthy and the BFF is not affect your response?

I have known some really messed up family situations so IMO, it still would depend on all the circumstances.

 

[GigiG]

Would knowing that the deceased's family went on another vacation while she was missing affect your response?

Was their last name "Arias?"


ETA: Seriously, that would make me feel less sympathetic for the family and more likely to wonder about their possible involvement...

 

[Hope4More]

Would knowing that the deceased was wealthy and the BFF is not affect your response?

No, at least not without knowing more context. Gigi is suggesting that the question is solely whether or not the family SHOULD repay her. I thought you asked whether or not any us WOULD repay her. And it is a different question whether or not she feels the family should repay her.

More info, please? I've already answered I would repay her, and she wouldnt have to ask (really no need to explain to me what emotiins are involved in such a search, or about closure). Whether or not the family SHOULD depends on the circumstances .

 

[ILikeToBendPages]

Would knowing that the deceased's family went on another vacation while she was missing affect your response?

Also, the deceased had siblings of similar wealth.

Well life does go on, not everyone will put theirs on hold if a loved one is missing. Was the second vacation already planned? You can miss your loved one from anyplace ......, but if it was me, I'd want to be in my home around things that bring comfort while I waited.

 

[Zuri]

Was their last name "Arias?"


ETA: Seriously, that would make me feel less sympathetic for the family and more likely to wonder about their possible involvement...

There was no family involvement at all...

 

[GigiG]

No, at least not without knowing more context. Gigi is suggesting that the question is solely whether or not the family SHOULD repay her. I thought you asked whether or not any us WOULD repay her. And it is a different question whether or not she feels the family should repay her.

More info, please? I've already answered I would repay her, and she wouldnt have to ask (really no need to explain to me what emotiins are involved in such a search, or about closure). Whether or not the family SHOULD depends on the circumstances .

Yes, you're right, Hope. I was reading it as "should" even though Zuri used the word "would." But I would do the same in either case, because I would feel like I should.

If my recollection is correct, this was a case on WS, so perhaps we'll get to the link for that at some point. Seems to me that Zuri is doing a crowdsourcing thing?

Perhaps I am already a tainted juror since I remember reading about the case...

 

[Hope4More]

Zuri- I have no idea whether or not you are referring to a specific case, asking in general, know the searcher....

Without context, answering the question whether or not the family SHOULD repay.

In the abstract, yes, I believe the family is morally obligated to pay whether they are wealthy or not. I think the fact the family has money is irrelevant to the obligation.

I also think it is important, though, whether or not the seeker acted of her own volition in searching, all the more so if the family had the means to search but did not. Did she search because they didn't? Did she talk with them, have the family blow her off and she went searching? Context really does matter.

 

[Zuri]

No, at least not without knowing more context. Gigi is suggesting that the question is solely whether or not the family SHOULD repay her. I thought you asked whether or not any us WOULD repay her. And it is a different question whether or not she feels the family should repay her.

More info, please? I've already answered I would repay her, and she wouldnt have to ask (really no need to explain to me what emotiins are involved in such a search, or about closure). Whether or not the family SHOULD depends on the circumstances .

Your response was perfect as it was. Should the family or the estate of the deceased recompense the BFF because it would be the seemingly right thing to do?

 

[Hope4More]

Yes, you're right, Hope. I was reading it as "should" even though Zuri used the word "would." But I would do the same in either case, because I would feel like I should.

If my recollection is correct, this was a case on WS, so perhaps we'll get to the link for that at some point. Seems to me that Zuri is doing a crowdsourcing thing?

Perhaps I am already a tainted juror since I remember reading about the case...

OK....Clueless. I feel like I'm playing a game but don't know the rules. I thought this was a personal situation. Bowing out until I understand.

 

[Hope4More]

Your response was perfect as it was. Should the family or the estate of the deceased recompense the BFF because it would be the seemingly right thing to do?

Well, there is should and there is should. Yes, the family should in the sense that it is the right thing to do. I imagine most decent folks wouldn't find that a difficult question.

But are they obligated to? That's a different question.

 

[Zuri]

Yes, you're right, Hope. I was reading it as "should" even though Zuri used the word "would." But I would do the same in either case, because I would feel like I should.

If my recollection is correct, this was a case on WS, so perhaps we'll get to the link for that at some point. Seems to me that Zuri is doing a crowdsourcing thing?

Perhaps I am already a tainted juror since I remember reading about the case...

You all have such great opinions and your answers have really helped with a difficult thought process. Much appreciated.

 

[Zuri]

[video=youtu;ifCWN5pJGIE]http://youtu.be/ifCWN5pJGIE[/video]

Here is some beauty in a world that can be so ugly at times...

 

[atthelake]

OK, I need a Focus Group Consensus:

This past summer, a woman went missing in another country while on vacation. Her BFF got on a plane and went over to help find her as the local LE hadn't really done anything. She found her deceased unfortunately after 5 weeks of searching. This BFF took time off from her life and job and used her own resources while searching.

If you were this woman's family, would you reimburse the BFF?

Ok I have found the original post.

Not enough information for me to make a decision sorry.

 

[neesaki]

[video=youtube;8XFBUM8dMqw]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XFBUM8dMqw[/video]

Something to make you smile!

LOL, that's hilarious, is that for real? That guy actually knew the lyrics to this song? And here I am never even heard of it, LOL. :floorlaugh:

 

[Zuri]

http://www.websleuths.com/forums/sh...ean-61-Aberfeldy-17-May-2015-American-visitor

This is the case... So very sad...

 

[neesaki]

Voila! Instead of being home by myself getting depressed I have turned it around and made cookies for all my neighbors... Also For Everybody here on the sidebar that needs a little sweetness and good smelling stuff and Christmas music and camaraderie.

Happy holidays to you all and I do understand how sometimes this time of the season gets depressing do something for others... I had fun tonight doing this for everyone.... hope everyone finds something to make them feel better this holiday season.

Putting out a scented candle... putting on old music.. doing something for a neighbor..

Xoxoxoxo sidebar !

That's awesome and they look yummy too And I agree, doing things for others makes me feel much better too. BTW, what kind of cookies are those if I might ask. :seeya:

 

[Zuri]

08-20-2015, 10:52 AM #732 Zuri's Avatar Zuri Zuri is online now
Registered User
Join Date
Feb 2013
Posts
7,140
One of the takeaways from this tragedy for me is the bond of friendship we form over our lifetime with an extraordinary person whom we refer to as our BFF. Lumberjill and Susan obviously had that unbreakable bond, stronger than blood or family ties/relationships. It was a sisterhood that withstood the test of time and geographical limitations. To me, It was the bond of a love so strong that Lumberjill would go to the depths of the Universe to find Susan and bring her home.

I have a best friend. She is my heart and part of my soul and the world is always right when I am with her. She is there when I need her and even when I don't know that I do. And I am there for her, without question or reservation.

I shared this incredible journey and tragedy with her yesterday, through tears, and I told her that even with my limitations, whatever they might be in the moment, nothing would ever prevent me from finding her, reaching her, bringing her "home" to me. I am forever hers as she is mine and the bond is unbreakable.

The beauty in this tragedy is that we can reflect on our best friend and know, without a doubt, the bond that ties us together supersedes all obstacles, no matter how great. Our BFF is the one person we can depend on through thick and thin, he'll or high water.

Susan and Lumberjill's sisterly bond of friendship has served as an inspiration for me to love more, be more, give more, share more with my BFF and let her know that I, too, would go to the ends of the Earth to find her and bring her home.

LJ, thank you for being such an inspiration to all of us. Xo


I wrote this on the Susan McLean thread months ago. What an amazing friendship these women had. Just wanted to share what I learned from that thread.

 

[neesaki]

OK, I need a Focus Group Consensus:

This past summer, a woman went missing in another country while on vacation. Her BFF got on a plane and went over to help find her as the local LE hadn't really done anything. She found her deceased unfortunately after 5 weeks of searching. This BFF took time off from her life and job and used her own resources while searching.

If you were this woman's family, would you reimburse the BFF?

I would think so, with one exception. If I (the family) didn't care if she was found or not. Could that be the case? I know what case you're talking about Zuri, very strange, the family, IMO.

 

[neesaki]

Would knowing that the deceased's family went on another vacation while she was missing affect your response?

Also, the deceased had siblings of similar wealth.

Ok, this I didn't know, is this true, they went on another vacation while she was still missing? OMG, how horrible

 

[neesaki]

There was no family involvement at all...

Not directly involved, but I question the husband and his actions or words that possibly are what drove her over the edge. Especially if he knew her mental state of mind. Something about that man doesn't set right with me, I can sure say that. JMO