South Hadley,MA Phoebe Prince 15 kills self over bullying

[stmarysmead]

http://fistfree.wordpress.com/2010/...bullying-is-and-what-stops-us-from-seeing-it/


Why haven’t the schools recognized what was going on? Because we have some misconceptions, some misleading ideas about bullying.

First, we think of bullying as being done by children in the playground, that bullying is childish. This hinders our ability to see the dangers in bullying. ”Oh, it’s just name-calling. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” ”It’s just a childish game; it’s not serious.” It’s not a game, and it is serious.

Next, we don’t think it’s bullying until someone gets hit. We ignore the devastating and damaging effects that verbal abuse and verbal violence have.

We think of bullies as thugs, big ugly brutes that beat people up. In an April 5th, 2010 online article in USA Today, Rich Hampson writes, “Educational psychologists describe a new kind of bullying. The perpetrators are attractive, athletic and academically accomplished ….” In other words, if the bully isn’t ugly, unathletic, getting poor grades and has few friends, what they say and do won’t be recognized as bullying, as excessive or unnecessary intentionally aggressive behaviour.

Bullying is about behaviour, not whose behaviour it is. We don’t need to look for the bullies; we need to recognize that what they’re doing is bullying. Again, my definition:

 

[Paladine]

"State Representative John Scibak, who represents the western Massachusetts town, said he believed there should be disciplinary action taken against school officials.
"I think if people knew about it and did not report it, this is a very serious allegation and one that really needs to be investigated," Scibak said.

From the GMA link...I like this guy...
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/phoebe-pr...ed-school-officials-charged/story?id=10237650

 

[Paladine]

I'm thinking this may have been worse than "bullying", as we know it. I've read rumors of many things...some, very ugly...and these are repeated in different places, early on, when media wasn't all over...that last day may have been more intense than we know.

Now, with court today...would more info have been revealed? Is the indictment online, in full, anyone know? Would the DA have said anything more, today? Or was it simply entering pleas? And does anyone know if we'll have cameras in court? What's MA like, in that regard?

As I said...me and US law...

 

[elle1919]

What network is nightline on again? That is one I don't normally watch. TIA

 

[Paladine]

Sharon Chanon Valesquez is photo editor for the school. Run4chocolate has info in the comments, on this link. Under "Staff" is Sharon Chanon Valesquez...

"On the South Hadley Student Newspaper website, if you click on STAFF at the upper left, and then scroll through the students, is that a photo of Sharon Chanon Valesquez?

"Yes it is, she is photo editor, if you click on the information to the top right of photo you will see her name.

the newsletter is linked from the blog...read comments for info, here...
http://run4chocolate.wordpress.com/2010/04/05/south-hadley-substitute-teacher-says-they-knew/

 

[Paladine]

What network is nightline on again? That is one I don't normally watch. TIA

ABC...around 11:30-ish est...

 

[lonetraveler]

In the past two years those of us who are avid News hounds have been exposed to all sorts of atrocious beatings, torture, gang rape ending in permanent disfiguring injuries, permanent disabling physical injuries, and many fatalities, all as a result of the “pack mentality’ of bullying. It is well past time to do something about it. The victims of bullying suffer horribly, many for the rest of their lives. Many take their own lives just to escape the merciless torture from the bullying. As I just stated, it is high time to stop ignoring the bullying. It is high time that these cruel bullies are held responsible for their words and actions against another human being. It is a total disgrace that adults have chosen to turn the other way when it comes to young people tormenting and hurting other young people. It is not going to go away, it will only get worse. I don’t care if the bullies are from wealthy families, are attractive, athletic or gifted in any other way; they must pay for the damage that they have caused. There have been way too many children hurt or killed because adults would not take on the responsibility to stop the bullying. These students should be held accountable and should receive the harshest sentence possible. You have to start sometime, somewhere and it might as well be now. Stop the harassing, raping, beating, burning; stop all bullying. Write a law if needed to make bullying the crime it is. It is never too late to save a child’s life. These bullies do not grow up to be good people. They continue to be the bullies that they are and continue to abuse people until they are stopped.

 

[Paladine]

In the past two years those of us who are avid News hounds have been exposed to all sorts of atrocious beatings, torture, gang rape ending in permanent disfiguring injuries, permanent disabling physical injuries, and many fatalities, all as a result of the “pack mentality’ of bullying. It is well past time to do something about it. The victims of bullying suffer horribly, many for the rest of their lives. Many take their own lives just to escape the merciless torture from the bullying. As I just stated, it is high time to stop ignoring the bullying. It is high time that these cruel bullies are held responsible for their words and actions against another human being. It is a total disgrace that adults have chosen to turn the other way when it comes to young people tormenting and hurting other young people. It is not going to go away, it will only get worse. I don’t care if the bullies are from wealthy families, are attractive, athletic or gifted in any other way; they must pay for the damage that they have caused. There have been way too many children hurt or killed because adults would not take on the responsibility to stop the bullying. These students should be held accountable and should receive the harshest sentence possible. You have to start sometime, somewhere and it might as well be now. Stop the harassing, raping, beating, burning; stop all bullying. Write a law if needed to make bullying the crime it is. It is never too late to save a child’s life. These bullies do not grow up to be good people. They continue to be the bullies that they are and continue to abuse people until they are stopped.

Excellent post!

 

[Paladine]

perspectiive...
"School bullying activist: I know the terror Phoebe felt" By Jodee Blanco, Special to CNN

"I know what Phoebe felt as she walked the halls as a freshman at a Massachusetts school, listening to the jeers and whispers, praying she could make it to homeroom or math class in one piece.

I know the terror that descended over her like a dark cloak every time the bell rang, signaling the beginning of the school day. And I also know that as much as she must have hated her classmates for what they were putting her through, it was what they were denying her that hurt even worse: someone to sit with at lunch, the invitations to hang out on weekends and after school, the girl talk and giggles exchanged between trusted friends, the simple joy of fitting in. Before long, it pokes holes in your soul, and you can feel self-loathing start to fill in those empty spaces.

I know because, from fifth grade through high school, I was the target of relentless bullying for much the same reason Phoebe and so many other students are: simply for being "different."

http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/03/31/blanco.phoebe.bullying/index.html

 

[Muffet]

I'm thinking this may have been worse than "bullying", as we know it. I've read rumors of many things...some, very ugly...and these are repeated in different places, early on, when media wasn't all over...that last day may have been more intense than we know.
-snip-

ITA. I just posted my thoughts in the bullying poll about how "not all bullying is equal."

It's just been getting to me, seeing all these posts on other sites and blogs from people acting like the common bullying they and so many others endured (and came out of a stronger and better person from! ) was anything like the things these poor kids like Phoebe and others have had to deal with, thus these kids are just weak, or we're rearing a generation of wusses. :no:

 

[Paladine]

ITA. I just posted my thoughts in the bullying poll about how "not all bullying is equal."

It's just been getting to me, seeing all these posts on other sites and blogs from people acting like the common bullying they and so many others endured (and came out of a stronger and better person from! ) was anything like the things these poor kids like Phoebe and others have had to deal with, thus these kids are just weak, or we're rearing a generation of wusses. :no:

I know the feeling. I've felt the same frustration reading the blogs. How can someone be against promoting kids being kind to each other? I think it's great people have overcome the adversity of being harassed at school. I also think it's great when other crime victims overcome...but that doesn't justify the crime. It doesn't make us all stonger...it weakens many, and, imo...it's soul destroying. We should be promoting each others spiritual growth...not hindering it. I want a system where the weakest among us feel safe.

IMO

 

[Muffet]

I just read this on run4chocolate:

[ed note: too early to speculate, but I suspect that most will be sent home on probation until they are 18. The guys will be treated differently because of the alleged sexual component to their charges. Mulveyhill, imho, as a non-1st offender, will face the only actual jail time but even that is not assured. He should enlist in the military and redeem himself the old fashioned way thru service to his country. ]

Interesting... Do you know what Sean Mulveyhill's other offense was?

(Also, Austin Renaud is already 18, so he might get hit just as hard, even if it was his first offense.)

 

[Paladine]

I just read this on run4chocolate:

[ed note: too early to speculate, but I suspect that most will be sent home on probation until they are 18. The guys will be treated differently because of the alleged sexual component to their charges. Mulveyhill, imho, as a non-1st offender, will face the only actual jail time but even that is not assured. He should enlist in the military and redeem himself the old fashioned way thru service to his country. ]

Interesting... Do you know what Sean Mulveyhill's other offense was?

(Also, Austin Renaud is already 18, so he might get hit just as hard, even if it was his first offense.)

I read it was shoplifting on that same blog...posted in comments, by the editor. I'm not sure what sauerkraut's (sp?) source is for that, though...but the blog has been bang on, thus far...imo.

 

[MaureenN]

I just read this on run4chocolate:

[ed note: too early to speculate, but I suspect that most will be sent home on probation until they are 18. The guys will be treated differently because of the alleged sexual component to their charges. Mulveyhill, imho, as a non-1st offender, will face the only actual jail time but even that is not assured. He should enlist in the military and redeem himself the old fashioned way thru service to his country. ]

Interesting... Do you know what Sean Mulveyhill's other offense was?

(Also, Austin Renaud is already 18, so he might get hit just as hard, even if it was his first offense.)

I believe that Mulveyhill's other offense was shoplifting (read that somewhere today, but can't remember where...)

 

[Paladine]

This AP link has photos of the proceedings, today. I didn't attach them because they are AP photos...copywrite, I'm thinking? If I'm incorrect, feel free to attach.
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jtSfPUlJn7oUv4nT-KF2Kqs7J6mQD9ETQ7AO0


ETA link to photos...
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/slideshow/ALeqM5jtSfPUlJn7oUv4nT-KF2Kqs7J6mQD9ETQ7AO0?index=1
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/slideshow/ALeqM5jtSfPUlJn7oUv4nT-KF2Kqs7J6mQD9ETQ7AO0?index=0

 

[Paladine]

A few thoughts, just a "maybe" post, please bear with me...anybody else ever think like this?

Maybe the school was between a rock and a hard place. Maybe after Phoebe's death, the parents were told about the behavior. But maybe the school never called and warned or informed the parents, previously? Maybe the parents said, "Expell my kid and I'LL sue, YOU never notified me." Maybe no warnings to stop were ever even given to some of the kids. So, maybe the school made a deal. Maybe the deal was let the kids transfer and we won't sue. Don't expell.

Just some ideas...

NOT excusing the school...but my point is, if this proves to be true...IMO, it would tell me, even after death, they sold Phoebe out to cover their own a**es...and the fact that they didn't do their job to protect the bullies from themselves, either.

 

[stmarysmead]

Just guessing here...I'm thinking little was done because these were perceived as "good kids." The Football captain, school photographer, hockey/lacrosse star.

When you assume "goodness" , you tend to downplay bullying to "relationship problems"...something that they saw as normal, no big deal.

To them, no real harm could come from these "good kids"...so the onus was on Phoebe to just put up with it.

If instead the Bullies had been some druggie crowd, someone the principal and teachers looked down on...ahh...then, Phoebe would have had intervention on her behalf.

 

[Paladine]

Just guessing here...I'm thinking little was done because these were perceived as "good kids." The Football captain, school photographer, hockey/lacrosse star.

When you assume "goodness" , you tend to downplay bullying to "relationship problems"...something that they saw as normal, no big deal.

To them, no real harm could come from these "good kids"...so the onus was on Phoebe to just put up with it.

If instead the Bullies had been some druggie crowd, someone the principal and teachers looked down on...ahh...then, Phoebe would have had intervention on her behalf.

My thoughts, exactly. I feel like she was seen as expendable, inconsequential. They weren't.

 

[Paladine]

"The arraignment briefly woke up Northampton, a low-key area of Massachusetts that people from Boston love to imagine moving to. The setting for the proceedings, which lasted about three minutes, was lovely: an old-fashioned, high-ceilinged courtroom with wood benches for the spectators, a mural on the concave center of the ceiling, and a large chandelier. A phalanx of TV reporters had to crowd in the hallway. The benches inside were mostly full of print reporters and South Hadley residents—the ones behind me were chatting about next year's high-school football season."

http://www.slate.com/id/2249957/

 

[Paladine]

"Friends said the group became jealous of Prince, who had recently moved from Ireland and reportedly dated both male suspects.

"She was new. She was pretty. She was dating the football player, and his girlfriend got jealous," Prince's friend T. B. said.

The 10-week investigation included recorded and written statements, along with computer evidence.

This seems to be about jealousy. Harassment, stalking, was the way to vent the jealousy. This isn't simple "bullying", to me...it surpassed that. It's a love triangle, or 2, with a gang of enforcers with a sadistic twist, imo.
http://www.14wfie.com/Global/story.asp?S=12265925