student kills self after webcam spying UPDATE: Conviction Overturned

[john's mom]

Here's a link to a NJ paper. Such a sad, sad story. May you RIP, Tyler.

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2010/09/rutgers_student_tyler_clementi.html

 

[Velouria]

These young people who did this could be any young person who made a bad judgement call on facebook, they didn't intend for this man to jump off of a bridge. That was his choice, however tragic it may be. I'm sorry that he chose to end his own life but I hope people take time to look at themselves instead of getting so angry at two university students who thought they were playing an joke-however imature it was. They have their whole lives ahead of him and God will forgive them if they repent of their sin... which we all have.

I'm curious - just what would YOU suggest we do with these two fine young people?

Repentance is one thing, our justice system is another.

 

[grayjay]

I agree, Izzy, that we've seen it all too often: a holier-than-thou person who condemns and is later exposed for the very thing. Self loathing is one thing, but imposing it on others is another. I wondered the very same thing out loud over lunch today, about the perverted behaviors of Ravi.

 

[T-Rex]

I've been following this on Gawker, and just noticed it here. After reading his posts on JustUsBoys (annoyed, but not overwhelmed), there just seems to be a missing piece.

 

[whiteangora]

http://abcnews.go.com/US/suicide-ru...yler-clementi-stuns-veteran/story?id=11763784


Body in Hudson River Identified as Rutgers 'Spy Suicide' Tyler Clementi
Clementi Apparently Reached Out to Gay Website for Help in Days Before Death


A body that was pulled from the Hudson River has been identified as Rutgers University freshman Tyler Clementi, who leaped to his death after his roommate allegedly secretly filmed him during a "sexual encounter" and posted it live on the Internet, ABC News has learned.

(Snipped)

This is so very sad. I can't even imagine how hurt and humiliated he must have felt after that horrible invasion of his privacy.
I hope he is at peace. :rose:

 

[Bree0372]

One more post! :crazy:

So we know that he talked to the RA and the two people above the RA, sending them a letter of what happened - I wonder if the reason he was so distraught was because Ravi was made aware of the complaint? Tyler seemed upset about Ravi watching him but he seemed ok about going to the RA in hopes of getting everything worked out.. If he was so distraught about the actual video that he was going to kill himself then why would he go through the process of contacting the RA, writing out the entire thing and emailing it to the RA and the people above the RA? Wouldnt he have just killed himself?

I just wonder if Ravi was notified about the complaint and then either told everyone in the dorm that Tyler had told on him - so that now not only would people know that He was gay, that a video of him was having sex was on the net and also that he was a 'snitch'.

It just doesnt make sense that if you were going to kill yourself because of a video online that you would go through the embarrasment of having to detail that info and email it to people.

I used to work in the Residence Life/Housing office of a university and I can assure you if a resident discussed this type of situation with the RA, more would have been done that it appears was done here. The RA, in this type of situation, should have gone to see their supervisor immediately (and it appears he/she may have). At a large university, you have the RA (just a student themself), a GA (Graduate Assistant..grad student) and a RLC (Residence Life Coordinator...Masters Level Professional), then more people up the chain.

We approved many "emergency" room changes (some to a private room) to ensure a students privacy and safety for much less than this. I can't believe that Tyler was told that a room change could not be approved until a week later. With that said, the other student/roommate would have been called in and had a disciplinary meeting. Sometimes both roommates would have been called in for mediation, but not for this type of incident. However, anonymous reports could be made to the Student Conduct Office of any violations of Housing and/or University rules and regulations.

My opinion, if Tyler went to his RA and IF it was handled appropriately, then the idiot roommate should have been removed from the room, or removed from housing (forfeiting his room costs). At least I believe this is what our director would have done. We had a large LGBT Association on campus and this type of incident would not have gone over very well.

I have a friend who works in Housing at Rutgers. I have emailed them to find out what the atmosphere is like in campus housing. I can only imagine that the Residence Life staff will be having some serious training very soon.

RIP Tyler

ETA: I just read T-Rex's post and I agree...seems like there is a missing piece. What drove Tyler to commit suicide? Did he meet with his RA, GA or RLC and then return to his room? Somethings missing...what happened between this time and his post about jumping off the bridge?

 

[grayjay]

ETA: I just read T-Rex's post and I agree...seems like there is a missing piece. What drove Tyler to commit suicide? Did he meet with his RA, GA or RLC and then return to his room? Somethings missing...what happened between this time and his post about jumping off the bridge?

SBM

I'm not surprised that he tried to sound more upbeat in his posts on the forums than he actually felt in real life. Like none of us would do that? I certainly edit myself, and still need help from the mods from time to time.

 

[jjenny]

These young people who did this could be any young person who made a bad judgement call on facebook, they didn't intend for this man to jump off of a bridge. That was his choice, however tragic it may be. I'm sorry that he chose to end his own life but I hope people take time to look at themselves instead of getting so angry at two university students who thought they were playing an joke-however imature it was. They have their whole lives ahead of him and God will forgive them if they repent of their sin... which we all have.

I think it's a pretty sad state of affairs if people think taping someone having sex without consent and then posting it on the internet is a joke.
Well actually it is not a joke. It is a crime punishable by up to five years in prison.

 

[jjenny]

I used to work in the Residence Life/Housing office of a university and I can assure you if a resident discussed this type of situation with the RA, more would have been done that it appears was done here. The RA, in this type of situation, should have gone to see their supervisor immediately (and it appears he/she may have). At a large university, you have the RA (just a student themself), a GA (Graduate Assistant..grad student) and a RLC (Residence Life Coordinator...Masters Level Professional), then more people up the chain.

We approved many "emergency" room changes (some to a private room) to ensure a students privacy and safety for much less than this. I can't believe that Tyler was told that a room change could not be approved until a week later. With that said, the other student/roommate would have been called in and had a disciplinary meeting. Sometimes both roommates would have been called in for mediation, but not for this type of incident. However, anonymous reports could be made to the Student Conduct Office of any violations of Housing and/or University rules and regulations.

My opinion, if Tyler went to his RA and IF it was handled appropriately, then the idiot roommate should have been removed from the room, or removed from housing (forfeiting his room costs). At least I believe this is what our director would have done. We had a large LGBT Association on campus and this type of incident would not have gone over very well.

I have a friend who works in Housing at Rutgers. I have emailed them to find out what the atmosphere is like in campus housing. I can only imagine that the Residence Life staff will be having some serious training very soon.

RIP Tyler

ETA: I just read T-Rex's post and I agree...seems like there is a missing piece. What drove Tyler to commit suicide? Did he meet with his RA, GA or RLC and then return to his room? Somethings missing...what happened between this time and his post about jumping off the bridge?

Where did you find the information that Tyler was told he had to wait a week for a new roommate? What's alleged here (taping someone having sex and broadcasting it on the internet) is a crime, so I'd think for this kind of incident police should have been contacted.

 

[Hucklepie]

Am I the only one who thinks that Ravi seemed to be overly interested in the concept of gay sex? I've read, over the years, that gay men who are in the closet, can often be extremely discriminatory to those who are out or are in the process of coming out. Just a thought.
(snipped)

I thought the same thing, to an extent. It's likely that someone this cruel would have had the same glee at humiliating his roommate regardless of who the roommate was hooking up with, but I've definitely seen the gay-bashing by those who are afraid to come out. I teach a high school creative writing class, and one student in particular has been in trouble several times already this year for writing nasty, homophobic things. I took away his cell phone about a week ago after he wouldn't stop playing with it in class, and when the touch-screen lit up after I jostled it accidentally in my desk drawer, nude photos of men appeared on the screen. I've suspected for a while that this student might be gay, and although that doesn't confirm it, it makes me think those suspicions might be true. If he IS gay, I hate to think that he feels the need to be so condemning of homosexuality just so people won't suspect it of him. There shouldn't be any shame in a person's sexual orientation.

I hope Tyler's roommate and his co-conspirator get the maximum penalty for their hatefulness. Going away to college is rough enough without having a roommate that drives you to such a tragic extreme.

 

[Charlie09]

http://gawker.com/5651659/

more details.....

 

[Lovejac]

What at horrible thing to do to someone! It doesn't matter to me if he was gay or not. It's against the law, what those two did, whether it was a hetero or encounter.

Many prayers for Tyler's family and all who loved this young man.

I want to know what the missing piece of the puzzle is. What happened between his last post on just the boys dot com about contacting his RA and when he jumped off the bridge???

Taunting from others? Not being taken seriously by the RA? Did someone threaten him? What happened? Something is missing here, IMO.

 

[looneymama]

I hope it's okay to post this. Ellen talking about this http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=592846987806

 

[Filly]

They were college students, not some criminals with a code of not to tell, so I can't imagine why he would be upset that people believed he was "snitching."

On the contrary. My friends DD had to leave N***** last year after a roomie in her suite purposely broke her TV. Each of the four girls brought along a specific appliance or electronic. The chick from get go didn't have enough room in the fridge she had purchased. My friends DD is no wall flower and can hold her own. She made a little room in the fridge for her yogurt and came back from class to find it smeared all over her bed.

Being young girls a clash was on. That evening Miss Fridge promptly walked in and changed the TV the girls were watching. A Phillies game actually. The four other girls were afraid of her and my friends DD up and switched it back and told her "You can't share your fridge you got no dibs on this TV it's mine and you're ignorant". She woke for class the next morning to find a noose in the bathroom with her name on it.

Then she complained. Not one of the other girls took her back. Why? Snitches get stitches. She took photographs as well and asked for a room change. That she was told could take some time. She had trouble sleeping but finally fell asleep only to wake while Miss Fridge was cutting off some of her hair. My friend immediately told her she was coming home. Getting threatened like that was not worth staying. Staff, school authorities and the RA were all sympathetic but basically didn't do jack squat and said it would all take time.

These kids are lethal. It's not just that one school. Freshman year my DD said one of the roomies had alcohol in the room. For some reason the RA found the alcohol. Nobody had told but my DD said it was brutal for almost everyone as Miss Alcohol had her big bruiser boyfriend visit the next few weekends and threaten the snitch was gonna get stomped.

Definately a code of ethics. Plus the pathetic excuse for a human being that masterminded this plan was probably the odd duck back home in high school and pulling something like this endeared him to all the other a-holes in the dorm.

 

[Bree0372]

Where did you find the information that Tyler was told he had to wait a week for a new roommate? What's alleged here (taping someone having sex and broadcasting it on the internet) is a crime, so I'd think for this kind of incident police should have been contacted.

In the attached screenshot (bottom paragraph), Tyler had posted on a message board that "they won't start filling requests until next week". Room change requests, that is.

I, too, would think that Campus Police should have been called in. And, they may have been.

One thing that I didn't post was we had "safe rooms" for times when a roommate felt threatened by their roommate. It may be 2am, but the RLC on-call would get called out and so would the campus police. An incident report would be completed and the trouble making roommate would be made to go to Student Conduct (thus it goes on your student record). The next morning, the student that was moved to the safe room would go to housing for a room change.

I agree with Filly though...snitches get stitches. College life (dorm life in particular) isn't all fun and games.

 

[MoonFlwr]

http://gawker.com/5651659/

more details.....

Thanks for the link....

 

[Filly]

In the attached screenshot (bottom paragraph), Tyler had posted on a message board that "they won't start filling requests until next week". Room change requests, that is.

I, too, would think that Campus Police should have been called in. And, they may have been.

Thank you Bree. The same thing basically happened as to what I posted above. Just last week my gentleman friends niece who is a Freshman also requested a room change. Nothing as serious as any of the above or Tyler's case, but she was told it would take two weeks.

Gentleman friend's niece goes to me "Ain't that great? I get to hear her and her visiting from back home boyfriend have sex for the next two weeks Thursday through Monday".

 

[Lovejac]

I hope it's okay to post this. Ellen talking about this http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=592846987806

Thank you so much for sharing this. It was a beautiful, heartfelt message from Ellen.

 

[jjenny]

What at horrible thing to do to someone! It doesn't matter to me if he was gay or not. It's against the law, what those two did, whether it was a hetero or encounter.

Many prayers for Tyler's family and all who loved this young man.

I want to know what the missing piece of the puzzle is. What happened between his last post on just the boys dot com about contacting his RA and when he jumped off the bridge???

Taunting from others? Not being taken seriously by the RA? Did someone threaten him? What happened? Something is missing here, IMO.

He clearly posts he didn't think it was recorded to his knowledge.
If he later found out it was recorded and broadcast that's quite a different level of public humiliation, isn't it?
One thing to think his roommate witnessed something, quite another to find out it is out on the internet, if that is what happened.

 

[jjenny]

In the attached screenshot (bottom paragraph), Tyler had posted on a message board that "they won't start filling requests until next week". Room change requests, that is.

I, too, would think that Campus Police should have been called in. And, they may have been.

One thing that I didn't post was we had "safe rooms" for times when a roommate felt threatened by their roommate. It may be 2am, but the RLC on-call would get called out and so would the campus police. An incident report would be completed and the trouble making roommate would be made to go to Student Conduct (thus it goes on your student record). The next morning, the student that was moved to the safe room would go to housing for a room change.

I agree with Filly though...snitches get stitches. College life (dorm life in particular) isn't all fun and games.

I'd think this situation was rather urgent. But his post is really about the general policy, so we don't know what specifically he was told about the roommate change.