Terri and the gym

[Billylee]

The context being that friends had come over, helped with housekeeping and such, changing the beds, etc.

At what point should the parents have been "allowed" to sleep? Sooner or later, you don't have a choice.

I never got to see her FB stuff, was she thanking someone for helping them when she said that?

 

[gardeness]

In the immediate aftermath of Kyron's disappearance?

This isn't about when the parents should have been "allowed" to sleep. It's about where her consciousness was during this time.

I know people are all different, but under these circumstances, I can't even imagine being aware of eating, sleeping, etc. I don't think I would be doing either.

Given all the info about her emails, including the fact she didn't put Kyron's picture on her FB page until right before she took it down, I find her concerns to be very odd.

I didn't read the original FB post, and I don't know what day this was written, but IMO, TH was writing about a small comfort. I can relate to finding comfort in "the little things" whenever something life-changing is occurring...

 

[gardeness]

Not to be overly analytical, but we don't even know IF she slept that night--she might have been exhausted, she knew she needed sleep to function, and the thought of sleeping on fresh sheets might have made her feel like maybe she would be able to sleep, but...did she actually sleep? We don't know...

 

[Jo in Calif]

IMO: I have absolutely no problem with what Terri posted on FB about hitting the gym, or even that she went for that matter, or posting about the clean sheets. The problem that I had was what SHE DIDN'T POST.

 

[sarah7855]

At what point should the parents have been "allowed" to sleep? Sooner or later, you don't have a choice.

RSBM. Sleep all you want, (although most parents of missing children simply can't, they are too distraught) but posting about how nice it is to sleep on clean sheets on FB right after your stepson goes "missing" comes off as uncaring, point blank. JMO.

 

[debs]

I saw Terri thanking people, adding people to her list of friends by the dozens, posting about getting fliers, where to get fliers, and all sorts of other things regarding Kyron.

I can't imagine but that she'd need to "hit the gym" with her husband, and appreciate that someone thought to put fresh sheets on their bed.

God bless those people who took time to take care of Kyron's parents in those early days, as much as those who did what they could to get the word out about his disappearance. Terri seemed like Kyron central!

 

[Loislane12000]

In the immediate aftermath of Kyron's disappearance?

This isn't about when the parents should have been "allowed" to sleep. It's about where her consciousness was during this time.

I know people are all different, but under these circumstances, I can't even imagine being aware of eating, sleeping, etc. I don't think I would be doing either.

Given all the info about her emails, including the fact she didn't put Kyron's picture on her FB page until right before she took it down, I find her concerns to be very odd.

Why shouldn't Terri be allowed to sleep? Many people (me included occasionally) use sleep as an escape from stressful situations. Just because she doesn't appear to be acting as you would (and not pointing just at you - your post echoes a lot of others I've seen) doesn't mean it's suspicious. As you yourself state, people are different. Because Terri does not appear to have her "consciousness" where you think it should be doesn't make her guilty, or uncaring or self centered. I personally don't know what she was thinking, but I can see most of what she did as being a reaction to a very stressful situation.

Ok, that's my 2 cents worth and of course my own opinion.

 

[Morag]

My father dropped dead at the age of 57. My mother was totally devasted. I arrived home late at night that same day. When it was time, my sister and I put her to bed. In her grief, in her devastation, she still found the tiny bit of energy and courtesy to say, "Oh, the fresh sheets feel so nice. I'm glad that Mary and Georgia changed them for me."

All these years later, I still think about my tiny, grief-stricken mother who was able to appreciate such a small, graceful favor.

(And my dad didn't die on those sheets, nor sleep on them the night before.)

 

[gwenabob]

My father dropped dead at the age of 57. My mother was totally devasted. I arrived home late at night that same day. When it was time, my sister and I put her to bed. In her grief, in her devastation, she still found the tiny bit of energy and courtesy to say, "Oh, the fresh sheets feel so nice. I'm glad that Mary and Georgia changed them for me."

All these years later, I still think about my tiny, grief-stricken mother who was able to appreciate such a small, graceful favor.

(And my dad didn't die on those sheets, nor sleep on them the night before.)

But your mother knew where your father was. He wasn't possibly "out there" alone and lost and shivering in the night all by himself.

 

[MarieFaith]

My father dropped dead at the age of 57. My mother was totally devasted. I arrived home late at night that same day. When it was time, my sister and I put her to bed. In her grief, in her devastation, she still found the tiny bit of energy and courtesy to say, "Oh, the fresh sheets feel so nice. I'm glad that Mary and Georgia changed them for me."

All these years later, I still think about my tiny, grief-stricken mother who was able to appreciate such a small, graceful favor.

(And my dad didn't die on those sheets, nor sleep on them the night before.)

This is a touching story; thanks for sharing an intimate glimpse into a caring family.

And it helps me clarify in my mind what it is about Terri's remark about clean sheets that bothers me and everything else regarding her emails that are the subject of this thread.

Since it was known by then that Kyron was not comfortably hiding out at a friend's house as some kind of joke or misunderstanding, the only alternative was that he was in some kind of serious distress or trauma...either lost in the woods, or taken by who knows who.

This is a little boy...a little boy who needs immediate help and protection, who may be all alone in a life-threatening situation. This is what sets this situation apart from some other stressful circumstance (like the unexpected death of a family member) that might make an adult take refuge in sleep or the material comforts other people generously bestow.

How can a caring parent not be beside himself/herself with fear and worry, to the point of being totally divorced from everyday normal things? I'm sorry, but Terri's emails just don't give me the impression that she was in such a state of apprehension.

Plus, as I've written this, I remember that Desiree said once (sorry, I don't know when exactly, but I remember it clearly), that Terri was surprised that she and Tony were coming right away that night of the 4th to Portland, when they learned that Kyron was missing.

Now tell me, why in the world would Terri be surprised at that???

Something is rotten in the State of Denmark.

 

[Loislane12000]

But your mother knew where your father was. He wasn't possibly "out there" alone and lost and shivering in the night all by himself.

I have to ask - what difference does that make? Loss is loss, hurt is hurt, disbelief is disbelief, that horrible sinking feeling in your stomach isn't any different whether it's a death you're trying to deal with or an unbelieveable disappearnce.

And once again (and hopefully for the last time) - we all deal with stress in different ways. If TH has gone home and baked a dozen loafs of bread - would that have been better than posting on facebook? (and once again, this reply is not really directed to your post specifically - it's for all those other ones that conclude, because someone doesn't act as they believe they should, it's suspicious or indicates guilt.) I don't know what happened to Kyron - I'm still waiting for some facts to be made public.

IMO, of course

 

[debs]

I'll have to find a link, but I just read in one of the old articles, dated June 5th, where Lt Lindstrand said that Desiree and Tony were on their way up. That was the next day. Let me see if I can find that. June 5th was the date of the article, though. Now to figure out which of the stations or papers it was.....

ETA: Here's the quote:
Authorities upgrade search for missing Portland boy to major crimes investigation
By Allan Brettman, The Oregonian
June 05, 2010, 9:37AM

"An automated phone message was sent to Skyline parents about 5:30 p.m. Friday. Parents of students at other schools in the district also received that message.

Lt. Mary Lindstrand, a sheriff's spokeswoman, said the agency would have searchers out as long as needed.

The boy lives with his father and stepmother. Lindstrand said his mother, who lives out of the area, was on her way here."

 

[Aedrys]

I have to ask - what difference does that make? Loss is loss, hurt is hurt, disbelief is disbelief, that horrible sinking feeling in your stomach isn't any different whether it's a death you're trying to deal with or an unbelieveable disappearnce.

And once again (and hopefully for the last time) - we all deal with stress in different ways. If TH has gone home and baked a dozen loafs of bread - would that have been better than posting on facebook? (and once again, this reply is not really directed to your post specifically - it's for all those other ones that conclude, because someone doesn't act as they believe they should, it's suspicious or indicates guilt.) I don't know what happened to Kyron - I'm still waiting for some facts to be made public.

IMO, of course

But she told her family and friends what a great mom she was to Kyron. Her own mother believed she moved in with Kaine to take care of Kyron, that her first priority was Kyron. I know we all act differently to stress, but if she such a good mother to Kyron, why wasn't she breaking down? Why wasn't she more concerned about him? What does that say about her as a mother that working out at the gym was more important than her supposedly beloved, just like her own blood son who was missing? That is the discrepancy that bothers me.

Had so many people not come out saying what a great mom she was in her defense like she was the best mom ever to walk the earth (I still remember that one article where what a great mother she was was reiterated about fifty times it seemed like, it just bashed the reader over the head with that), I might not be so upset with her. She pretended to be something she wasn't, she lied to people about what kind of mom she was, and those people believed her and that's why they defended her. But the true Terri shone through when Kyron went missing and numero uno to Terri wasn't him and where he might be. He's a kid. He can't protect himself, he can't save himself, he can't get away from people or things hurting him, and that didn't seem to concern her at all. It was more like this missing kid thing was a huge misunderstanding than something real and terrifying to her. There is just something hugely wrong with her, this great mother of the millennium, having that kind of attitude and putting herself first when a helpless child that she supposedly loved like her own was missing.

And btw, there's more than just the gym that makes her suspicious. These things are just little pieces of the whole puzzle. She gave a plethora of things to make her suspicious until Houze muzzled her.

 

[debs]

Hmm, I recall that from about 4:30 on, Kaine and Terri were in constant company of LE, for hours and hours and hours on end. Frustration set in and Terri talked in an email about having to go in for more conversation with LE. When Kaine and Terri decided to go to the gym, the gym had just volunteered to act as a gathering place for supplies for the search for Kyron.

I imagine Kaine benefited from the gym, and the sheets. Blessed be!!!

 

[Donjeta]

FWIW Carol Moulton says in an article dated on Saturday 5th that Desiree came right away when she heard.

She said he visits his biological mother in Medford every couple of weeks and that Desiree, 38, came to Portland as soon as she heard about his disappearance.

http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/06/details_emerge_about_the_day_k.html

Are we off topic?

 

[Jo in Calif]

FWIW Carol Moulton says in an article dated on Saturday 5th that Desiree came right away when she heard.


http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/06/details_emerge_about_the_day_k.html

Are we off topic?

Kinda, sort of. We need some news.

 

[Loislane12000]

But she told her family and friends what a great mom she was to Kyron. Her own mother believed she moved in with Kaine to take care of Kyron, that her first priority was Kyron. I know we all act differently to stress, but if she such a good mother to Kyron, why wasn't she breaking down? Why wasn't she more concerned about him? What does that say about her as a mother that working out at the gym was more important than her supposedly beloved, just like her own blood son who was missing? That is the discrepancy that bothers me.

Had so many people not come out saying what a great mom she was in her defense like she was the best mom ever to walk the earth (I still remember that one article where what a great mother she was was reiterated about fifty times it seemed like, it just bashed the reader over the head with that), I might not be so upset with her. She pretended to be something she wasn't, she lied to people about what kind of mom she was, and those people believed her and that's why they defended her. But the true Terri shone through when Kyron went missing and numero uno to Terri wasn't him and where he might be. He's a kid. He can't protect himself, he can't save himself, he can't get away from people or things hurting him, and that didn't seem to concern her at all. It was more like this missing kid thing was a huge misunderstanding than something real and terrifying to her. There is just something hugely wrong with her, this great mother of the millennium, having that kind of attitude and putting herself first when a helpless child that she supposedly loved like her own was missing.

And btw, there's more than just the gym that makes her suspicious. These things are just little pieces of the whole puzzle. She gave a plethora of things to make her suspicious until Houze muzzled her.

BBM

1st Bold - you agree we don't all act the same but go on to critizise TH because she doesn't break down (as you think she should?)

2nd Bold - You apparently think she's a bad mother and that's your right but are you being fair or are you judging her on what you've read on the Internet? The internet is a wonderful thing but it doesn't ask us before we right something - is this true? Is this a fact? Personally, I do a lot of reading but I try to withhold judgement until I have facts to back it up.

3rd Bold - Once again, you don't think she acted concerned enough. But you agree we don't all react the same.

I'm confused -it seems the TH is being demonized because she hasn't acted as others think she should. I'd bet many, if not most, of those other "suspicious actions" fall into the same category?

Thanks - I'll wait for at least a *few* facts before I decide to hang her.

 

[SmoothOperator]

BBM

1st Bold - you agree we don't all act the same but go on to critizise TH because she doesn't break down (as you think she should?)

2nd Bold - You apparently think she's a bad mother and that's your right but are you being fair or are you judging her on what you've read on the Internet? The internet is a wonderful thing but it doesn't ask us before we right something - is this true? Is this a fact? Personally, I do a lot of reading but I try to withhold judgement until I have facts to back it up.

3rd Bold - Once again, you don't think she acted concerned enough. But you agree we don't all react the same.

I'm confused -it seems the TH is being demonized because she hasn't acted as others think she should. I'd bet many, if not most, of those other "suspicious actions" fall into the same category?

Thanks - I'll wait for at least a *few* facts before I decide to hang her.

Above BBM and that is your right and your decision which you are definitely entitled to...

Just as what Aedrys stated of which the above post is referrencing[replying to]... That too is her right and her opinion of Terri's actions and behaviors..

What is left out in the above post is Aedrys reiterating more than once throughout her post that those which are bolded and pointed out[^above^] and replied to are just one of many, many, many reasons that some of us are of the opinion that Terri's, actions, behaviors, inconsistencies, and lies are indicative of some disturbing personality traits and are very fearful for this precious, innocent, little boy that has been "missing" for over 4 mos now[which many now face the harsh reality that more than likely he is deceased and NEVER will be returning to his momma, dad, sister, cousins, friends, classmates, teachers, etc.. the very many that love this little boy]

Aedrys is not alone in her opinion about Terri and the VERY MANY DISTURBING behaviors, actions, statements, lies, etc.. that have come to light in these past long months... THEY ARE DISTURBING[to say the least]..

And that is why WS is such a great place for us all to discuss our varying degrees of differences, opinions, views, etc.. We each are entitled to our own personal opinions and there are those that wholeheartedly agree with opinions such as Aedrys about Terri.. and there are those that are not of the same opinion about Terri...

Neither sides of the coin[various/multiple reasons that many think she IS INVOLVED vs. reasons thought that she IS NOT INVOLVED] are wrong... They are our opinions therefor there is NO RIGHT or WRONG.We are all entitled to voice them and discuss them freely here at WS...

 

[Aedrys]

BBM

1st Bold - you agree we don't all act the same but go on to critizise TH because she doesn't break down (as you think she should?)

2nd Bold - You apparently think she's a bad mother and that's your right but are you being fair or are you judging her on what you've read on the Internet? The internet is a wonderful thing but it doesn't ask us before we right something - is this true? Is this a fact? Personally, I do a lot of reading but I try to withhold judgement until I have facts to back it up.

3rd Bold - Once again, you don't think she acted concerned enough. But you agree we don't all react the same.

I'm confused -it seems the TH is being demonized because she hasn't acted as others think she should. I'd bet many, if not most, of those other "suspicious actions" fall into the same category?

Thanks - I'll wait for at least a *few* facts before I decide to hang her.

Right. We don't all act the same. I can agree with that and still think she's suspicious. This great mother of the year should have been more concerned about Kyron, not treat him like a lost sock. I have a problem with people presenting themselves as one thing while then acting the totally opposite way. Who knows, maybe facts will come out to exonerate her or maybe facts will come out to convict her, but to me, if she loved that boy she should show it. That's common sense for any loving mother out there. And she hasn't shown one bit of love for him, only concern for herself and how him missing affects her.

And I do not base my opinion on or just blindly accept what is on the internet. I don't like the implication here. I can think she's wrong based on what info we've been given so far from press conferences, Oregon media, and other reputable sources. If it's wrong, then she should come out and refute it, and she hasn't done that once. I'm not basing it on rumors and innuendo, I'm basing it her words and actions since this all started. And it's not looking good for her in my eyes.

This is all IMO. We can respectfully disagree.

 

[Billylee]

We had better get back on topic or this thread will get closed.