Things that make you wonder

[RR0004]

Why do you think her parents worked so hard at pretending to believe her for 2 years?!

I always thought it kinda strange that Casey thought nothing of ridiculing her father for not having a job. Wonder where she learned that?

 

[Chilly Willy]

Casey is an adult who is responsible for her own actions. If she lied about having a job the fault lies totally with her, not with those who were foolish enough to believe her. Allowing a person to escape responsibility by placing the blame for their actions on others is also, IMO, a form of enabling.

 

[ExpectingUnicorns]

GA even stated in his LE interview that he suspected KC wasn't really employed because she never seemed to have any money. According to GA, he tried to broach the subject with Cindy, but she contradicted him with no evidence of her own to prove to him that KC was working. CA reportedly told her husband she would (essentially) "handle it".

I think being unemployed himself GA was more privvy and had more time on his hands to audit KC and Caylee's daily activities, yet according to him his wife wouldn't even consider his suspicions.

In Amy's first statement, she quotes Cindy as saying, "I'm not even sure she has a job."

 

[Searchfortruth]

Why do you think her parents worked so hard at pretending to believe her for 2 years?!

It seems like George just went along with Cindy's wishes, and he knew if she said "I'll handle it", that meant, to him, stay the **** out of it ! I'm pretty sure that he folllowed directions well. Cindy, although she set an example of working, enabled Casey to NOT have to work. Even in one of the jail video's Cindy tells Casey she doesn't have to work when she gets out of jail....did Cindy really want Casey to be an independent person ? IMO, no.

 

[Searchfortruth]

I have wondered why Cindy felt the need to enable Casey and not Lee.

 

[lonetraveler]

Nope, you are correct. She's just the enabler.

The person who makes it so sick people can stay sick! I suppose it depends on who you are which offense you find to be worse but personally? I tend to have issue with enablers.. at least the loser is pretty transparent in their loserism's they don't work too hard to cover it up, they don't much care what anyone thinks, as long as they get whatever it is that makes them happy. It's how losers work (remember, I used to be one) as long as they have themselves a good enabler? It doesn't even matter- they can continue with their behaviors and far worse for years on end.

You are correct, she had a job.. she was the only person in the home who did have a job. Someone was doing the enabling and it certainly wasn't Casey or George.. or Lee, off parking his cars for baseball games or whatever he does. Sadly, "through example" as you say, this is obviously what she actually taught them.

---
Why, oh why is it always the mother's fault?????? It doesn't matter what a mother does, it is never the fathers, nor the children's fault that they can not stand on their own two feet. I have been a mother for a long time and have taught, coached, led, mentored and done everything known to mankind to get children at an early age to work to earn what they get in life. That there is a price to pay for everything in life, that they have to work for what they obtain. Did not spoil them with cars and money, they had to earn it.

 

[essies]

I have wondered why Cindy felt the need to enable Casey and not Lee.

I'm not sure we know enough about LA to know if that is true. Just looking at his blogs and his behavior at the memorial he is quite the emo. CA may not have had to use the same tactics that she did with KC because LA was the "good son". IMO:waitasec:

 

[trixi491]

It just angers me to hear KC tell people she has the "worst mother in the world." Although I can't stand CA, when it comes to KC she put up with her lying, stealing from anyone, let her live there free of rent (when supposedly KC had a job and was making money), and constantly watched/paid for KC's daughter. Many mothers would have kicked their 22-year-olds out if they behaved like KC did. And now she barely acknowledges her parents when they are still supporting and lying to protect her. God, I wish she had some other mother who would NEVER put up with this.

 

[reeseeva]

---
Why, oh why is it always the mother's fault?????? It doesn't matter what a mother does, it is never the fathers, nor the children's fault that they can not stand on their own two feet. I have been a mother for a long time and have taught, coached, led, mentored and done everything known to mankind to get children at an early age to work to earn what they get in life. That there is a price to pay for everything in life, that they have to work for what they obtain. Did not spoil them with cars and money, they had to earn it.

Bold mine

Bingo!! Your children are self-sufficient & self-reliant, with the merits of their own accomplishments, for growth. IMO, parents who excuse, enable & give their children everything succeed to doing one thing.... Cripple Them!
Too much help is crippling.


"God Bless The Child that's Got His Own"

 

[Searchfortruth]

It just angers me to hear KC tell people she has the "worst mother in the world." Although I can't stand CA, when it comes to KC she put up with her lying, stealing from anyone, let her live there free of rent (when supposedly KC had a job and was making money), and constantly watched/paid for KC's daughter. Many mothers would have kicked their 22-year-olds out if they behaved like KC did. And now she barely acknowledges her parents when they are still supporting and lying to protect her. God, I wish she had some other mother who would NEVER put up with this.

We have seen so much of the family, Cindy especially, and I can almost visualize exactly how Casey came to be. There was probably years, a lifetime, of excusing her behavior, making sure she never faced any real consequences, and all because of Cindy's "sickness". A good parent would have allowed Casey to take her punishment when she was wrong, understanding that she would need those lessons to function in the real world. If Casey had the type of mother you described, I doubt she would be where she is today.

 

[okiedokietoo]

I wonder if they are all Co-Dependent. The different Characteristics can be applied to CA and GA and KC

http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/codependency
(quotes from article)
They have good intentions. They try to take care of a person who is experiencing difficulty, but the caretaking becomes compulsive and defeating. Co-dependents often take on a martyr’s role and become “benefactors” to an individual in need. A wife may cover for her alcoholic husband; a mother may make excuses for a truant child; or a father may “pull some strings” to keep his child from suffering the consequences of delinquent behavior. The problem is that these repeated rescue attempts allow the needy individual to continue on a destructive course and to become even more dependent on the unhealthy caretaking of the “benefactor.” As this reliance increases, the co-dependent develops a sense of reward and satisfaction from “being needed.” When the caretaking becomes compulsive, the co-dependent feels choiceless and helpless in the relationship, but is unable to break away from the cycle of behavior that causes it.

*An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others
*A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue
*A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time
*A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts
*An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment
*An extreme need for approval and recognition
*A sense of guilt when asserting themselves
*A compelling need to control others
*Lack of trust in self and/or others
*Fear of being abandoned or alone
*Difficulty identifying feelings
*Rigidity/difficulty adjusting to change
*Problems with intimacy/boundaries
*Chronic anger
*Lying/dishonesty
*Poor communications
*Difficulty making decisions

 

[chastity]

Casey is an adult who is responsible for her own actions. If she lied about having a job the fault lies totally with her, not with those who were foolish enough to believe her. Allowing a person to escape responsibility by placing the blame for their actions on others is also, IMO, a form of enabling.

Yep, I totally agree with you. Cindy worked hard and supported the family with everything they needed or wanted. She doesn't deserve the criticism that she gets. And, I truly do not believe that Casey, george, or anyone else around her was afraid of her, or they wouldn't have stayed there, and most certainly would have not done some of the things they did, such as Casey lying, steeling, partying every night. George, gambling or whatever all of their money away. This does not seem to be people who are afraid of her control. I am sure she would have loved some help, to me, she seems a little insecure, and out of control with what to do about any of these situations. I still feel very sorry for her. She is not perfect, but who is? At any rate she doesn't deserve the mess she is in now.

 

[OneLostGrl]

Casey is an adult who is responsible for her own actions. If she lied about having a job the fault lies totally with her, not with those who were foolish enough to believe her. Allowing a person to escape responsibility by placing the blame for their actions on others is also, IMO, a form of enabling.

I'm not blaming them for Casey's choices (I must have said this like maybe a hundred times by now?!!) If she killed her daughter that is HER problem, SHE did it, not them. I'm discussing the facts, as you yourself stated, Cindy is the only person in that house that had a job. I place no blame on Casey's parents for the murder of Caylee (unless of course one of them killed her), and I certainly am not making any excuses or expecting her to "escape responsibility".. the only ones who have allowed her to escape responsibility, Chilly, is her parents!!

Listen, I don't wanna bicker with you, I like you and respect your POV.. I respect the fact that you stand by your opinion no matter what people say. That's honorable and a heck of a good trait to have! We disagree about Cindy, I can accept that.. :blowkiss:

 

[OneLostGrl]

Yep, I totally agree with you. Cindy worked hard and supported the family with everything they needed or wanted. She doesn't deserve the criticism that she gets. And, I truly do not believe that Casey, george, or anyone else around her was afraid of her, or they wouldn't have stayed there, and most certainly would have not done some of the things they did, such as Casey lying, steeling, partying every night. George, gambling or whatever all of their money away. This does not seem to be people who are afraid of her control. I am sure she would have loved some help, to me, she seems a little insecure, and out of control with what to do about any of these situations. I still feel very sorry for her. She is not perfect, but who is? At any rate she doesn't deserve the mess she is in now.

Bold mine-

No one has said she does!

 

[TakeNote]

why is it taking so long for a doc dump....
and
when we do get one...why does the news let a little bit out at a time?
I want all of it at once....let me read for myself....we all end up finding stuff they dont anyways....or then find it months later....HELLO....give W/S all the info....Please

 

[mikeysmommom]

What I am wondering about is what happened to JB today did he forget it was Princesses Birthday. Bet that made KC upset ,at least I hoped it did.

 

[OneLostGrl]

I wonder if they are all Co-Dependent. The different Characteristics can be applied to CA and GA and KC

http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/codependency
(quotes from article)
They have good intentions. They try to take care of a person who is experiencing difficulty, but the caretaking becomes compulsive and defeating. Co-dependents often take on a martyr’s role and become “benefactors” to an individual in need. A wife may cover for her alcoholic husband; a mother may make excuses for a truant child; or a father may “pull some strings” to keep his child from suffering the consequences of delinquent behavior. The problem is that these repeated rescue attempts allow the needy individual to continue on a destructive course and to become even more dependent on the unhealthy caretaking of the “benefactor.” As this reliance increases, the co-dependent develops a sense of reward and satisfaction from “being needed.” When the caretaking becomes compulsive, the co-dependent feels choiceless and helpless in the relationship, but is unable to break away from the cycle of behavior that causes it.

*An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others
*A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue
*A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time
*A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts
*An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment
*An extreme need for approval and recognition
*A sense of guilt when asserting themselves
*A compelling need to control others
*Lack of trust in self and/or others
*Fear of being abandoned or alone
*Difficulty identifying feelings
*Rigidity/difficulty adjusting to change
*Problems with intimacy/boundaries
*Chronic anger
*Lying/dishonesty
*Poor communications
*Difficulty making decisions

Yup, you are so right!! Though I think it's a bit more intense at this point because it has been going on so long (The enabling). Personality disorders and co-dependency often go hand in hand. It's one more way for them to escape their truth, to avoid their own issues.. by focusing all their emotional energy on the person they have made dependent upon them.

 

[OneLostGrl]

I have wondered why Cindy felt the need to enable Casey and not Lee.

He got out.

 

[OneLostGrl]

---
Why, oh why is it always the mother's fault?????? It doesn't matter what a mother does, it is never the fathers, nor the children's fault that they can not stand on their own two feet. I have been a mother for a long time and have taught, coached, led, mentored and done everything known to mankind to get children at an early age to work to earn what they get in life. That there is a price to pay for everything in life, that they have to work for what they obtain. Did not spoil them with cars and money, they had to earn it.

It isn't always the mothers fault- it's only the mothers fault when it is clearly the mothers fault. Perhaps you made your children earn things but this mother did not... that's the whole point!

This mother allowed her daughter to lie about having a job for 2 years. This mother ignored her daughters pregnancy until she was like 7 months along and only acknowledged it then because Rick called her on it. This mother allowed her daughter to steal money with no repercussions what-so-ever. She stole thousands of dollars, thousands! She stole not only from Cindy but from her elderly grandparents as well. What did mommy do? paid her parents back with her own money.

I'm sorry if you think what I am doing is "mother bashing" but I assure you, I am not.. I'm bashing the behaviors that were accepted in that home.

 

[Asti]

Okay KC had a job before she had the child. I imagine they thought they were doing something right with her at that point. Then it all went very bad it seemed. Could be she decided there was no point in working and paying for child support, most of her check would have gone for that. The man who employed her said they were training her for management are really liked her there but she just never went to apply when the new company took over. If all of your friends are single and out having fun and you are stuck with a child you can start to feel really sorry for yourself. Apparently it wasn't okay in the family for her not to work so she made up the job. She wanted to run around and party and that takes money so she chose to steal and lie to get it. Many girls in her situation don't make that choice. They do without some of the things they would like to have done if their circumstances were different. I have seen many situations where a kid just has their parents so snowed. They put on a show at home and it takes time for the parents to begin to figure out what is really going on such as if you work yet seem to have no money and are stealing then you begin to realize there is a problem even though apparently have co-workers, emails from them, etc. My guess is as the family got suspicious she used things like phone calls and emails as proof to calm things down for a bit. It seems like they were starting to figure things out and whatever pressure was put on her drove her to make some horrible decision to get out from under it all. I am sure she does hate her mother who probably hassled her constantly with questions about the job, the partying all night, etc. It makes you really mad when people call you on your lies and you can't supply satisfying answers and they won't quit. She probably thinks had they just left her alone to do as she pleased everything would have been fine. No parent can stand up to everyone looking at how you did things under a microscope especially when you have a very rebellious child.