In terms of LaViolette, for me personally, this is where the potential dangers lie:
There are still rather rampant misconceptions about intimate partner violence. Honestly, I see it from a lot of warm-hearted, well meant posters following IPV trials (not this one specifically) who make flippant, hurtful comments just because its something they (very fortunately) have never experienced. (It can be hard for some to understand why someone would stay in a relationship that literally killed them unless you've been in one that nearly has.)
And to that I say YET...because the statistical likelihood is that one will at some point in their lives know a victim/survivor intimately. A cousin, a brother, your best friend, a daughter.
A lot of what LaViolette has testified to is part and parcel of an abusive relationship. (I do not, and never have, believe Jodi was ever abused by Travis.) So in a sense, I'd like to believe she's educating the public to some extent about the different forms in which abuse can manifest. I'm a survivor of a mostly psychological abusive relationship with threats of physical violence, weapons brandishing, destruction of property, arson, rages in which furniture was broken and doors literally broken down trying to get to me. But I was never hit. Still there are many who would believe my relationship couldn't be defined as abusive because of that.
The problem is though is she's piece-mealing abuse and applying it poorly. There are behaviors Jodi has exhibited far more consistent with an abusive personality than Travis has. (I disagree cheating is emotional abuse too...though I think it can certainly be utilized as a weapon to become emotional abuse.) And normal people can be jealous, can be possessive, and can even become abusive in their own actions without rising to the rank of 'abuser'. An abuser is never not controlling. An abuser wouldn't encourage their victim to openly date others or willingly allow them to put a thousand mile distance between them.
So for me the danger lies in how much more she's both blatantly ignoring and deliberately avoiding - like the beginning of an abusive relationship and subsequent, very gradual escalation into abuse that's missing in this case. Like the likely stalking Travis would have engaged in once Jodi moved, the constant phone calls and texts asking where she is, the moving her in and marrying her almost immediately...I could see a few red flags missing...but all of them?
MOO
